What does acceptance mean to you?

Offline hammer

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Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #15 on: August 28, 2015, 07:10:24 am »
Maxx,

I'm a 46H and the bra would help you a lot! I think once your wife thinks about the weight of your breast put on your neck, shoulders and back she would be on board with the idea of you wearing a bra for comfort.

That all being said I don't wear mine all the time, but even as big as I am, I look less noticeable with it on because I don't jump around, swing and sway back and forth, and I don't get red and sore in the fold under the breast.

It takes time to come to 100% acceptance. We are men, men don't wear bras! If you stop and think about the idea that bras are just to support breast, you have breast that developed by no reasons that you wanted them to, but they now need to be supported, then bras are to support breast period, and it doesn't matter it they are on a man or woman!
I'd rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I'm not!

I am who I am,  and I'm not going to change to please anyone!

https://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=24515.0

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #16 on: August 28, 2015, 10:13:07 am »
I agree with Hammer. About 3 years ago I complained to my wife that riding the lawnmower hurt my boobs and just anything but lying down was uncomfortable. She came back saying you need to start wearing a bra. She came up with an old one of hers that just fit. It made such a difference in my life. I wear a bra from morning until bedtime. Getting the right bra is the important part. I use underwire molded cup bras. They stop the flopping around and nipples don't show. I started out with 40 B cup and now 3 years later I wear 40D. I wear T shirts around the house but they show off everything you got. When I go out I wear a 2X shirt in prints or stripes and some solid colors except white.
I used to have a stinky rash under my breasts in the hot months of the year. Dr said it was a fungus akin to athletes foot. His recommendation....you guess it wear a bra. I used to wear Hanes G511 but found a Cacique that fits much better.

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #17 on: August 28, 2015, 11:37:19 am »
Maxx,
I got so carried away explaining my situation I forgot to offer advice. Have you talked with your wife about your need for a bra? I would start there. She just might be OK with it. She should. I got over the stigma very quick. I really don't bother me. I just wear the right shirts. My wife helps me there as well. I would lose the T shirts when working on stage. Just a sort of loose fitting shirt will do fine. Try all shirts on while wearing your bra. If it don't pull open around your breasts it will be just right. I am not talking about 2 sizes too big. In my case if it don't gape open and shot the bra from the side it is OK. Age (older) helps with acceptance. I am 69 and have other health problems that makes my gyne seem miniscule. 
I have made one decision: I will not get surgery just to look the way other people might think i should. I have a great wife that loves all of me. I really dont want anyone shallow enough in my life that would feel otherwise. When I feel strong like that, I am tempted to just get a bra and be comfortable. I am not sure she is ready for that one though...she didnt like the idea I got the one bra very much. I think she likes the fat/guy explanation. But, that doesnt make me feel comfortable, physically. 
This quote makes me think you just need to have a heart to heart talk with wifey. Show her my posts too.

Offline Maxx

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #18 on: August 28, 2015, 03:00:17 pm »
Thanks guys for the encouragement. Perhaps it is time to try a bra, even if just around the house.

I do feel the strain on my neck. When I lift my breasts up, i can feel the weight on my neck and shoulder muscles relax. I think they are heavier than I even realized.

How do you get a good bra fit if you have considerable sumo like fat under your arms? I dont want the band to be obvious if i try to wear it in public.

Also, my church is full of a ton of huggers. People are hugging me all the time. I dont want them to feel the straps or band clasp. Maybe a racerback style? Or front closure?

I tried this one:
Glamorise Women's Complete Comfort Front Close Leisure Bra #1803 46 B/C/D


The shoulder straps slip off my shoulders and the arm wholes are too small. The front clasp is scratchy, yet the band was not loose.

Here are my measurements - What size and style should i try?

Under: 43
Standing: 51
Leaning: 52
Between: 11.5


Thanks

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #19 on: August 28, 2015, 04:54:17 pm »
I have certainly modified my "acceptance" level during this summer.  I now wear regular t-shirts, polo shirts etc of the correct size to fit my shoulders and body.   Light weight, comfortable T-shirt.  The material I find acceptable is a nice lightweight comfortable summer fabric.  And yup, in these shirts I stick out as much as most of you think you do (and Hammer I can't come close to in that department).  And in 2-3 months of normal fitting light fabric t-shirts I've seen a couple of double takes or WTF type looks and that is all.  It isn't junior high.  It isn't non-stop harassment like jr high in 1960s.  Everybody ignores it or tries to.  It has really been a complete zero as far as all those left over fears and remains of PTSD.   So in the shirt department I'm with Alfred E. Neuman, "What me worry?"  It just isn't a problem any more.  Nobody gives a hoot.

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #20 on: August 28, 2015, 05:44:25 pm »
Maxx,
 Don't sweat the huggers. I too have similar friends. The guys have never said a thing or acted funny. The ladies seem to feel the bra and most just hug a little tighter but never a negative reaction. I think they do that to re-enforce the "did I feel what I think I felt". I know how you are thinking and I was self-conscious at first. You have accepted the breasts now you will need to accept a bra as part of your everyday uniform. I have. At first I felt "fruity" but that passed quickly. I go to all my Drs wearing my bra. My GP gave me a breast exam. I have had 1 nurse to ask me why I was wearing a bra. I told her gynecomastia and she said bummer. She said she sees a lot of guys that could use one. She does a lot of EKG's so she sees a lot of boobs.

Offline hammer

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Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #21 on: August 28, 2015, 07:44:55 pm »
Maxx, go have a formal fitting! Best thing I ever did to get a good fitting bra. My wife went with and said that I was treated with more respect then she and my daughter were when she took the daughter to an expensive department store at the Male of America to get her fitting done.

I went to a Beautique in St. Paul called Alure and have bought more since my first fitting and was told by my fitter that she has served many men with gynecomastia.

I will be going back if I ever need a new fitting, and I'm not worried at all about doing it anymore.


Bob

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2015, 01:59:37 am »
You have similar measurements as i do. I'm wearing a 42D. I'd look at a 42 or 44 band, make sure it's snug, but comfortable, cup size maybe a C or D, NOT the F/FF/G cup the calculators out there give.

Offline hammer

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Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #23 on: August 29, 2015, 08:50:59 am »
Most guys don't fill out those f,g,h cups even though their numbers say they would. That is why a formal fitting helps! However, I'm one of the guys that do unfortunately, and the numbers do work for me! This is what those big cups look like!

I won't have surgery either, because I think I would look like I was butchered after it was done, and my wife doesn't care that I have the breast as they aren't there for any other reason except due to health issues.

Bob


Offline Maxx

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2015, 06:31:03 pm »
Thanks for the thoughts and tips guys.
I dont have the kind of tissue that you shared with you pic Hammer. So, I dont see how I could ever fill out what the numbers would suggest. I am with you hammer, surgery is just going to make me look mutilated and I wont want my shirt off after it anyway. I think dealing with this, accepting it as part of who I am, will ultimately strengthen my character and eventually I will find peace.

I was thinking 42C or D for a test fit. Maybe a few different styles to see what works best with my build. One compression shirt costs a ton. So, experimenting with a few bra purchases is nothing by comparison.

Maybe I will just tell my wife about the discomfort I am experiencing, maybe share some of the thoughts from you guys on the forum with her, and see if she will agree to let me try a few bras around home. I work from home in my studio, except when I am playing live music, so I can easily wear support most of the time.

I am moving away from the t-shirts for public, but I really prefer to wear tshirts. I get hot very easily, and sweat like a mule. Maybe we should invent a liquid cool bra?

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #25 on: August 29, 2015, 07:13:46 pm »
Thanks for the thoughts and tips guys.
I dont have the kind of tissue that you shared with you pic Hammer. So, I dont see how I could ever fill out what the numbers would suggest. I am with you hammer, surgery is just going to make me look mutilated and I wont want my shirt off after it anyway. I think dealing with this, accepting it as part of who I am, will ultimately strengthen my character and eventually I will find peace.

I was thinking 42C or D for a test fit. Maybe a few different styles to see what works best with my build. One compression shirt costs a ton. So, experimenting with a few bra purchases is nothing by comparison.

Maybe I will just tell my wife about the discomfort I am experiencing, maybe share some of the thoughts from you guys on the forum with her, and see if she will agree to let me try a few bras around home. I work from home in my studio, except when I am playing live music, so I can easily wear support most of the time.

I am moving away from the t-shirts for public, but I really prefer to wear tshirts. I get hot very easily, and sweat like a mule. Maybe we should invent a liquid cool bra?

Liquid Cooled Bra

NASA's Space-Age Cancer Bra Lives On

Be careful what you wish for, you might actually get it.

Offline hammer

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Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #26 on: August 29, 2015, 09:11:14 pm »
Maxx, be thankful that you don't fill the numbers like I do! I feel as though I've been cursed! This is something that I would never wish apon any man!

Offline Maxx

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #27 on: August 29, 2015, 09:48:53 pm »
Figures...I can't be the first one to think of and liquid cooled bra. Lol

Hammer, I have read many of your posts. You are strong, and a man among men. Many of the guys on here fit that mold as well. I draw a lot of strength from reading about others who struggle like us with this embarrassing situation. But, I am thankful to be alive. I am glad there is medication to treat my body, even if it has some difficult side effects. Anything is better than not being here to live life to the fullest.

I have many blessings. This breast thing is just a life challenge to conquer. Hammer, you and many here have done that. I have to just keep facing it one day at a time, until I can get as close to peace with it as possible. I will never be built like Arnold or The Rock. So what. I live in the body I have. It doesn't define me at my core being. I am approaching 50. I am fully expecting all kinds of unwanted body problems as I age and slowly fall apart.

Offline hammer

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Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #28 on: August 30, 2015, 10:04:40 am »
Thanks Maxx! It also help to receive encouragment, thanks for the kind words!

Re: What does acceptance mean to you?
« Reply #29 on: August 30, 2015, 05:56:00 pm »
Maxx, I have gone through the "trial and error" method of finding a bra that fits, instead of going for a formal fitting.  I found Herroom.com to be great about returning and refunding for the ones that didn't work.  In my case, depending on the bra, I can wear a 40B, 40C or a 44A - but NOT the 46B that I measure for!  It seems that the calculations don't work for me.  I just don't project enough to fill even the B cups in my calculated size.  I have found that bra extenders can be a big help, allowing me to wear a smaller band/cup size so that the cups fit better.


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