Gynecomastia Forum, Doctor and Surgery Resources

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: aboywithgirls on August 31, 2019, 06:33:56 AM

Title: Why not?
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 31, 2019, 06:33:56 AM
I was reading through some recent posts and comments and while I realize that we are all.at different stages of dealing with our breast development,  a common theme seems to be comfort vs. Concealment. This led me to thinking about why do we feel the need to conceal or hide our breasts and our bras.

Bob just posted about mens breasts are really no different than women's breasts. They are breasts! If we can benefit from a bra the same way that women do, than why don't we just do it? 

Now granted, I've been wearing a bra for about 30 years now and its just something that I do every day. My hope is for these of us who don't want do have surgery to "correct " our chests, that you can be free to wear what makes you comfortable and start being able to promote your assets rather than hide them.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 31, 2019, 11:01:51 AM
I understand what you are saying. I'm not talking about competing with women, showing cleavage or getting the latest Victoria secret Bombshell push up bra. I'm talking about putting on a modest tshirt bra and a tshirt and just being comfortable without  looking like 2 puppies chasing each other under your top.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: JohannK on August 31, 2019, 11:06:28 AM
Ah, if only it was that easy...

What we have is not exactly normal.  It is a female characteristic, and female development on a man is not really natural (even though it is much more common nowadays, but that spike in occurances is largely from unnatural causes).  People don't like to accept something unnatural.  And wearing a bra essentially means embracing that female development.  Which obviously makes it worse.

That being said, I can see it becoming more and more acceptable as it becomes the norm and people get used to seeing it.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 31, 2019, 03:49:48 PM
Ah, if only it was that easy...

What we have is not exactly normal.  It is a female characteristic, and female development on a man is not really natural (even though it is much more common nowadays, but that spike in occurances is largely from unnatural causes).  People don't like to accept something unnatural.  And wearing a bra essentially means embracing that female development.  Which obviously makes it worse.

That being said, I can see it becoming more and more acceptable as it becomes the norm and people get used to seeing it.
I have lived with breasts since I was 15. I have gone through decades being afraid of what people MIGHT think of me because I have a VERY feminine trait that could get me beaten up in a bikers bar or hit on in a gay bar. I get exactly what you are talking about. I lived it. The fear. The paranoia. It's real. I have the years of taunting and inappropriate touching to prove it.

Several years ago I decided I needed support and I was not going to let others dictate to me how I am going to live my life. While I am not completely there yet, my comfort outweighs what others think. So far, since I started standing my ground, no one has challenged me. I think the PC world we live in has helped as well. While we are not anywhere near acceptance, we are closer. If you act confident, people aren't going to challenge you. That's been my experience.

Only you know what is acceptable to you.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Athena12@ on November 08, 2019, 10:01:09 PM
I have been waring a bras for over 10 years now and always hid it.  Then after the wife's death this April and major surgery on my part (which is still not over) thing began to change.  I was on the middle  of the monumental task of emptying her closet and I am just now finishing up the her closet disaster.  The few thing my daughter liked she kept. The rest of the clothes went to charities along with about 100 pairs of shoes and enough yarn to cloak New York, not to mention vast amount of total trash in the form of 20 year old papers etc. Then when the took me off the oxygen I and I could live the house I found a pair of short in my closet and put them on, not knowing how they would fit but they were fine just something was not right about them. That night when I took them off they turned out to be a 10 Petit. That is a women's size but none of me clothe fit after loosing 20 pounds in the hospital, I'm not surprised.  So I started looking in her closet for pants and short that I could wear and found several short and pants.    But the side effect that surprised my is that I started to find clothes I liked and then began trying them on and liked it.  I don't understand it but now I am a closet Cross Dresser.  In fact I went out to dinner tonight and wore nothing but neutral women's shirt, jeans, and boots and every thing under was totally women' underwear.  I even wore two of her necklaces and two bracelets.  Nobody said a word.

I don't know if anyone else has had this problem but please let me know if you have!
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Moobzie on November 09, 2019, 07:05:59 PM
No 'condemnation' but...This forum isn't really for that issue.  There are others more in tune with the subject of cross-dressing.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: aboywithgirls on November 10, 2019, 07:09:44 AM
I have been waring a bras for over 10 years now and always hid it.  Then after the wife's death this April and major surgery on my part (which is still not over) thing began to change.  I was on the middle  of the monumental task of emptying her closet and I am just now finishing up the her closet disaster. The few thing my daughter liked she kept. The rest of the clothes went to charities along with about 100 pairs of shoes and enough yarn to cloak New York, not to mention vast amount of total trash in the form of 20 year old papers etc. Then when the took me off the oxygen I and I could live the house I found a pair of short in my closet and put them on, not knowing how they would fit but they were fine just something was not right about them. That night when I took them off they turned out to be a 10 Petit. That is a women's size but none of me clothe fit after loosing 20 pounds in the hospital, I'm not surprised.  So I started looking in her closet for pants and short that I could wear and found several short and pants.    But the side effect that surprised my is that I started to find clothes I liked and then began trying them on and liked it.  I don't understand it but now I am a closet Cross Dresser.  In fact I went out to dinner tonight and wore nothing but neutral women's shirt, jeans, and boots and every thing under was totally women' underwear.  I even wore two of her necklaces and two bracelets.  Nobody said a word.

I don't know if anyone else has had this problem but please let me know if you have!
The same hormones that gave me breasts, also gave me my hips, thighs and butt. Because of this I wear women's tops, slacks, jeans and shorts too. They fit better. 
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Getting boobs on November 10, 2019, 09:02:22 AM
I agree that you have to wear what fits your body. I understand that not everyone agrees with that. I gained weight from being down with an injury. I knew my shape had changed and things did not fit the same as they used too. But as I have been losing it, it has become much more apparent. So I have had to buy things that fit. Most of them come from the women’s side of the store. It’s nothing more than wearing what fits and is comfy. 
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: walt on November 10, 2019, 10:54:33 PM
hi folks I also have worn a bra over 10yrs now as well as gender neutral panties and girl jeans and shorts they fit my figure better than mens do I can`t stand jeans with the crotch at my knees and balloon pant legs .anyhow wear what you like  and is comfy 
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: aboywithgirls on November 12, 2019, 07:51:23 AM
You really have to wear what fits. Who cares  what store or department they come from. I love the fit and the quality of Torrid jeans and slacks. I have also found some great slacks from Lane Bryant as well. I live in Torrid panties too.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: dbweb on November 12, 2019, 10:03:33 AM
I couldn't agree more with the last few comments.  Clothes are marketed as gender specific I believe to boost selling price in many cases.  What is wrong with buying some pants that fit best, or a top that is comfortable and fits a certain form?  As far as underwear is concerned, these days it is hard to tell the genders apart due to boys stuff getting more like girls briefs, and same for the girls things in some cases IE Boy cut?
At the end of the day, I believe in wearing what I need to for my specific needs, and picking shirts and pants that fit and are comfortable for me to wear.  IE; I have been wearing medical support pantie hose for poor veins for at least 30 years now, have been wearing breast support(bra) for past 8, both as a result of medical staff advising me I needed to, and for the past several, ladies jeans simply because they have some spandex in them and stay on my body better. IO could care less about what they say on the label or which department they are sold in!
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Goodnplenty on November 13, 2019, 08:29:51 PM
I like the fit and feel of women's jeans better that mens jeans.  The clothing industry has decided for the last several decades that men should be wearing the equivalent of denim potato sacks for pants.  I for one am over the baggy look.  And my wife appreciates the more fitted look of women's jeans on me.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: aboywithgirls on November 14, 2019, 09:54:41 AM
I couldn't agree more! My wife had me try ladies jeans and I never looked back. The fit and feel are far superior to men's. Jeggings are a lot of fun as well. Ladies slacks also are a proven improvement for me. I will add a caution note. Ladies pants have significantly smaller pockets,, if any! You will end up carrying a purse or hand bag of some sort to carry your personal belongings. This is not necessarily a bad thing. You can keep things with you that wouldn't normally get to carry in your pockets. None the less, you won't be able to get car keys, cellphone and wallet in ladies pants. 
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Luvmyboobs on November 14, 2019, 02:45:04 PM
I, too, have recently found that women's jeans fit me way better than those designed for men, and I couldn't agree more about the pockets issue. I wear a 32x30 in men's, which is usually a difficult size to find in a variety of styles, but a women's 8 regular usually fits me perfectly, and there are a lot more options in that size.

Because of that, I've considered looking into neutral women's shirts, as well. I've never really been able to find men's shirts that fit properly. Basically, my shoulders are way too narrow for men's cuts. If they fit my shoulders, they're way too tight everywhere else. If they fit everywhere else, they're way too big in the shoulder.

It's actually made me wonder if my overall shape was related to the gyne. Of course, there's absolutely nothing in the research I've seen that would answer that question...
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: paulpark21 on November 14, 2019, 04:29:27 PM
Yes - there is a lot to be said for the smaller pockets on woman's jeans.  I have been wearing them for quite a few years now, and I find that I have very little problems with carrying a wallet (back pocket) , change, keys and a cell phone in the pockets. Not as roomy as mens's but everything fits.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: littleguy on November 15, 2019, 04:46:49 AM
I like the fit and strech in women's jeans. Jeggings are great!
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Getting boobs on November 15, 2019, 08:36:24 AM
Yes, the smaller pockets or lack of functioning pockets took a bit of getting used too.  But the fit and feel of them far out weigh the down side of that. As was said before you just have to find other ways to carry what you need with you. It seems that its common for a lot of us here not only to have breasts, but some of the other traits that go with them. So why should we have to wear things that don't fit us or be comfy, when all we have to do is buy things that fit the shapes we have. If you don't look at the tags on jeans or what ever else you want with a lot of bling on them, I doubt anyone else will notice what they are.  I bought my first pair of jeggings a few days ago, I have found that I really like them and the way they fit and how comfy they are. I can see more of them in my future.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Goodnplenty on November 15, 2019, 11:45:29 AM
 "It seems that its common for a lot of us here not only to have breasts, but some of the other traits that go with them"

I didn't get hips but I've always had more chest than other guys and I've always had a round bubble butt and larger thighs.  The combo of those last  two has always caused me problems when shopping for pants.  I would have to buy pants a size or two larger in the waist that my legs and butt were comfortable.  The overall look was a baggy mess.  Womens jeans however were a game changer for me.  The combination of stretch fabric and tighter fits is perfect for me.  And as I said before the wife loves to look, which is a plus.  I also wear leggings around the house because they are so comfortable and in the winter fleece lined leggings make the best thermal underwear. 

I like the ladies  jeans but I haven't ventured into ladies the tops though.  The neck lines always seem a bit on the low side and the sleeve lengths look too short for my tastes. 
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: JohannK on November 15, 2019, 01:30:05 PM
I don't know if I'm paranoid, but I suspect I might have some widening in the hip area.  I did notice that most jeans (apart from overalls when I'm busy with my cars, that's all I wear) are a bit loose at the waist, needing a belt.  But if I go smaller (32 instead of 34 waist), I can't get into them.  AT ALL.  I'm not sure if ladies jeans will be the answer for me given that I'm 182cm (5'11.5 for the metrically impaired).  Not exactly a common height for women.  And I do make full use of my pockets, or at least the side ones.  So I'm sticking to mens jeans.

Looking in a mirror my hips are not the widest part (they are close though).  But I can clearly see how my arms are sloped out to accomodate them.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Johndoe1 on November 15, 2019, 04:39:17 PM
I definitely retain fat in many of the same places as women. Not to the extent that it gives me feminine curves but a definite widening of the hips and around the tummy fat placement, same as women. And of course in the mammary area as well. 
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: blad on November 19, 2019, 12:45:42 PM
In school it was obvious I had breasts, as I had to show them off in gym class every time I was on the skins team, which seemed to be every time. May as well have worn a bra to school as it was no secret and may have actually looked more modest in gym class. But as a young teen with all the social pressure you are not thinking progressively.

In adult life, it is obvious I have breast development with or without a bra. Quite some time ago I decided I felt more comfortable and better about myself to wear a bra full time rather than occasionally, and I think I actually present better in a bra with improved shaping and control. But, particularly in my own neighborhood, I stay with concealing shirts that hide the straps. I feel confident wearing a bra full time although there is still a risk from random hugs. I just don't want to get into conversations with people local to me about wearing bra.

Outside of my neighborhood, I am less concerned about visible bra outlines, although I am still reserved.

I have always wished that it was without any social stigma to have breasts and wear a bra. In the end, I don't mind having breasts and needing a bra, I just wish it was "normal" and no perceived need to hide it.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: DW20 on November 20, 2019, 10:23:56 AM
For me a bra is necessary for comfort so I wear one.
I am not a cross dresser in the normal sense of the word and seek to present as 100% male, however I first wore a mini skirt a couple of years ago during a heat wave and it was so much more comfortable than trousers or shorts. I cannot understand why women are so keen to wear male attire.
=I now buy around 50% of my clothing in the womens aisles, usually plain colours and middle of the road enduring fashion styles. Materials are often far more comfortable for under and over clothes, and given the body changes that accompany  hormone imbalance often a better fit

Womens clothes? Nah! I bought them. I am a man   -  ergo they are man's clothing. All other considerations are in people's heads.
I can adjust to the practicalities of my situation, if they can't, it is their problem.
Simples



Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Athena12@ on December 08, 2019, 10:38:54 PM
I have told you before that I lost 20 pounds in the hospital and never gained any of it back.  I found a tailor that will alter my pants for $10, not a bad price.  The last time I went to find some jeans I tried on three pairs of women's jeans 12, 10 and 8 before I found the size that fit.  Like a typical male I tried them one at a time instead of taking all 3 of them in the changing room at one time.  After I found a pair that fir right I walked over to the men's department and found that they were $10 more found then $10 more plus I would have had to have them altered (another $10) so that's $20 dollars more for the same jeans.  What's the point!  I also found a mans shirt that was label S/M that fir but I cannot remember where but I just bought a flannel shirt from Wal Mart size 8/10 that fits fine and who is going to know unless they look at how the shirt is buttoned and WHO does that?  So in other word I have been totally crossdressing in neutral cloths and shoes for over two months now.  Shirts, pant, shoes an underwear.   Sorry no dresses or skirts.  I haven't gone that far yet.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Getting boobs on December 08, 2019, 11:23:09 PM
I don't think its crossdressing, its wearing what fits you. I doubt that anyone will notice or care. Even if they do, so what its not something they have to deal with or do. I am sure you will start gaining the weight back, so I would not get a lot that fits now.
Title: Re: Why not?
Post by: Johndoe1 on December 09, 2019, 07:17:06 AM
I feel the same way. I am not trying to cross dress, just dress comfortably that fits my body and it just happens to be clothes that fit my body is considered "female" by society.