Gynecomastia Forum, Doctor and Surgery Resources

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: JohannK on August 17, 2019, 11:53:36 AM

Title: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 17, 2019, 11:53:36 AM
That is the question...

On a more straight-faced note, I've been wondering about this for a while, and finally managed to join (for some reason I kept getting "forbidden.  Dangerous network" with different browsers, different ISPs, different devices, different email addresses, and even trying with a VPN).  Let's see...

1.  Going on 27 years, development started fairly recently (a few years ago).
2.  Last I measured, I was hovering around 34C, 36A, 36B going purely by the two basic measurements.
3.  I don't notice any jiggling while walking at a normal pace, but when I walk more quickly I do feel a destinctive "thud" in my chest area.
4.  I do suffer from chafing in the winter.  Not a problem right now as our winter was very short lived.
5.  I do have back pain, but it's hard to say if the gyno is a contributing factor.  I fell from stairs back in school, and my back has never been the same.
6.  This is a marjor point - I'm in South Africa.  So keep in mind that society here (and the entire family, myself included) is rather conservative to put it mildly.  I personally try to acknowledge valid points though, in case somebody wonders.
7.  Another important note.  Due to life having happened, I had to move back in with my parents.  No prospect of being on my own for the time being, I'm not even sure when I'll be able to work again.  That also raises the issue of laundry, I don't see how they will not know.

As for how  they're shaped.  When completely soft, my nipples do have a bit of a conical shape, as you'd expect.  There's not too much that I can feel, but I do feel some small lumps in the nipple areas.  I'd say they're shallow.  Also, I noticed some of my shirts (I wear button shirts almost exclusively) will sometimes struggle in the chest area depending on how I hold my arms.  I'm not doing anything to hide what I have, but I'm also (obviously) not advertising.  If I do need a bra, it might also help if I have some way to back it up.  Oh, and lastly, I'd prefer to stay away from having to wear layers.  It can get rather hot, only having aircon in the car.


Side-note:  Typing this info is not so easy...
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 17, 2019, 01:39:43 PM
The choice to start wearing a bra or not is a personal one. No one can tell if you should or shouldn't. Many people may give your their opinion, but only you know your situation. Personal acceptance continues even after the decision to wear and to begin wearing has occurred.

If your breasts are self supporting, and it sounds like yours may be, then a bra probably isn't needed. You may want to look into compression shirts. You will be able to laundry those without causing suspicion but it will give you some support and will decrease your projection. If you have lumps under the nipple, then you more than likely have some degree of gynecomastia.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 17, 2019, 01:57:10 PM
To be honest, I'm uncertain about it.  I have come to the conclusion that it is gyno and not just fat, going by how my nipples are not lying flat.  And of course the lumps, although they are by no means large.

And yes, they're self-supporting.  The main thing I've been wondering about is discomfort of my shirt moving against them.  But fortunately the actual chafing only bothers me in the winter.

EDIT:  I'll try to get some better photos soon.  For now, this is what I mean with my nipples not lying flat.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: prc7966 on August 17, 2019, 03:46:48 PM
Before I started wearing a bra, I made out ok wearing a women's tank top as an undershirt. It helped immensely with chafing. They are much softer than anything I could find in the men's section, and also they were pretty well form fitting without being so tight that it is uncomfortable. They didn't help me with the bouncing all day and subsequent pain from bouncing, but it did help a lot with chafing. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: SideSet on August 17, 2019, 03:59:33 PM
Feminine, puffy nipple
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 17, 2019, 04:11:23 PM
PRC:  I have noticed that undershirts help with chafing.  But of course I can no longer wear long sleeved ones in the winter, as the sleeves pressing against my arms can get very painful.  I'll consider sleeveless in the winter, but as it is they're all long sleeve...

Sideset:  Thought so.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 17, 2019, 04:37:42 PM
Nipple protectors are great chafing protectors as well.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: hammer on August 18, 2019, 10:18:37 AM
Johndoe1 was very much right on, when he said to wear a bra or not wear one come down to a personal choice! There is no medical evidence that it is necessary to wear one! Yes, those of us with larger breasts usually have found comfort in wearing them and they reduce the wiggle and giggle of breast while moving making them less noticeable as well!

I am a (H) cub, band size unknown at this time due to loss of 40 plus pounds, but I have always been one to wear one on and off due to personal desire or mood swings, or ever temperature conditions as well. If it was hotter I would have one on to avoid to heat rash under the boob!

So, I wish you all the best in this time of figuring this all out, as it isn't any fun! At 61 I've been doing it for a long time myself!

Bob
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 18, 2019, 12:35:54 PM
Johndoe:  I've looked that up.  At first I didn't see how that could work (I got resuslts for the wrong kind), but that might help  I have at times grabbed some electrical insulation tape out of desperation.  There is also some sensitivity spread across my breasts (might as well say it that way) which can also bother a bit, but not terribly.

Hammer:  I'm glad I don't have them that large.  Mine are by no means huge, and they might get a bit smaller when I can finally get myself to eat less and start cycling again.  But, I'm not sure to what extent they'll go away (not referring to the breast tissue).  Before the development I was also a bit overweight (I have a naturally small build), but even so I was as flat as a window pane in the chest.

I assume with them being on the decently small side with not much projection, it's safe to assume that my back pain is just from that school accident?  I'm still planning to post some decent pictures, but I messed up with my last attempt (didn't think of how the phone flash would flatten everything).

Oh, and thanks for the helpful replies.  I actually wondered if I would get the "inaugural bashing" that some new members seem to have received.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 18, 2019, 02:38:54 PM
Oh, and thanks for the helpful replies.  I actually wondered if I would get the "inaugural bashing" that some new members seem to have received.
I don't know about any "inaugural bashing", but here in the Acceptance area, all are welcome. I know in some of the other areas of this website (surgery), people are not as understanding as one would hope, and I avoid those since surgery is not what I am looking for. But here in this section of the website, we all wear bras or are thinking about wearing bras. We look out after each other.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 18, 2019, 04:16:09 PM
I just looked, it seems that one thread I remember was back in '05.  So that does make a bit of a difference.  In that thread a few people were very nasty, before some more helpful members started to chime in (it looks like they were too late).  I do seem to remember seeing a discussion of such comments, but I don't see it right now so I don't know when that was.  I might also be remembering it wrong.

Anyway, this is what they look like.  As I said, not that much projection.  But still, seeing myself in a mirror it's clear that anybody who looks will see them.  Although the extra weight I still want to rid myself of does make them blend in a bit.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: gyneco_jason on August 18, 2019, 10:56:33 PM


On a more straight-faced note, I've been wondering about this for a while, and finally managed to join (for some reason I kept getting "forbidden.  Dangerous network" with different browsers, different ISPs, different devices, different email addresses, and even trying with a VPN).  Let's see...
I've had this problem too.

 Oh, and lastly, I'd prefer to stay away from having to wear layers.  It can get rather hot, only having aircon in the car.

This is a problem a lot of us deal with. I usually have to go with wireless bras in the summer so people don't notice the outline. I actually look forward to the cold weather because I can start wearing underwires again.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Getting boobs on August 19, 2019, 12:03:55 AM
I am fairly new to this as well. I have both wireless and underwire, I have found that I much prefer the look and feel of the underwire. There is a learning curve to getting everything to settle in the cups just right, but once you get that figured out. I feel much better in the vs a soft cup.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 19, 2019, 07:28:23 AM
While underwires shape the breast more in a feminine shape, the support, containment and comfort outweighs the look. Depending on the style of bra and the top, I have found that I can control the look of my breasts, a tactic women use all the time. As most men, I had (incorrectly) assumed that women's breasts were always on display, because that is what breasts do, right? No so. If you pay attention, most women, in non formal or semi formal situations or casual or relaxed situations, wear tops that do not show off the contours of the breast. There may be two bumps that are visible, but you don't see the contour of the breasts as you would in a dress or form fitting top that a woman would wear in a work environment or in a more formal situation that is meant to draw attention to the chest. Once I realized that and saw what they were wearing for the look, I started to convert that look into what will work for a man and I was amazed at the results. Even with underwire bras that have a lot of lift of the breasts, I could keep the look toned down. It really is true, the bra makes the top and the top makes the bra. It takes a little practice, but the results are more comfort, better support and containment and less wondering eyes. Win, win, in my book.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 19, 2019, 07:44:35 AM
Interesting, although it does make sense.  Women's breasts do not look the same size consistently.

For now at least it looks like the answer for me is to just go on as usual.  But I am curious, what did you learn in terms of how to dress?  I assume a looser shirt will downplay breast size?  I also noticed myself that any printing/pattern on a shirt makes it more obvious, as the pattern warps.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 19, 2019, 09:08:49 AM
Johndoe is absolutely right when he said the bra makes the top and the top makes the bra. In other words, through trial and error, you have see what works for you. I would suggest,  as the name suggests that you start with the foundation garments first, meaning the bra. Once you find a bra that fits and gives you the shape that works best for you and your girls, then you can concentrate on a top that fits you and will accommodate the girls. 

I wear underwire bras exclusively outside of my home. I prefer the shape and support. An underwire bra is worth the time and effort to get one that fits comfortably. Warmer months, I wear lace cups because they are cooler and less boob sweat. The cooler months I'll be wearing a molded cup bra because my nipples are sensitive to the cold and I'm usually on high beams and the molded cups reduce nipple protrusion. In the sub category of underwire bras, I usually stick to balconette or full coverage bras, depending on my top that I wear with it.

The top can be a challenge as well. I'm a 3 38H in most of my bras. Men's shirts don't work well for me. I usually shop Torrid and Lane Bryant or Woman Within for my button down blouses that have tops that fit the more well endowed women. 

It.can be a little difficult at first, but don't be afraid to ask an SA for help. Buying and wearing women's clothing is not the end of the world or masculinity.  You're only wearing clothes that fit. Also if you're hips and bottom start developing as well, all of the above stores can will be able to get you in something that fits your lower half as well.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 19, 2019, 10:01:27 AM
I'll keep that info in mind, if it comes to that.  Coming here has actually helped with more than just advice, I finally managed to start cycling.  So bearing in mind that the planned weight loss (currently 71kg, before I got my license and got lazy I was 63) will likely make my breasts more prominent, I might end up having to go that route.

Also, I've actually started to wonder about that last bit, but it might just be my imagination.  My knees are bent in, so that might affect things, but it does look to me like I might have some degree of widening.  I still manage with mens clothes though.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 19, 2019, 12:42:55 PM
It got to the point with me 8n my early 20s that even the mens loose or relaxed pants weren't working for me. I ended up with a terrible looking cinched waist. That's when I started wearing women's pants. To be honest,  besides the fit, the material uses for women's jeans and slacks is much better suited. They are generally stretchy.and give me more flexibility. The material is also generally lighter which is great for the summer months. In the winter, I can always layer with leggings or my compression pantyhose that I wear for my varicose veins. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Goodnplenty on August 19, 2019, 04:49:06 PM
The "Dangerous Network " message is caused by cookies not being fully enabled.   I went through several weeks of not being able to post after I changed my security settings regarding cookies.  It took me awhile to make the correlation because I made the change on one device (phone) but it carried across all my devices and various browsers. 

Most of the year I can get choose to either wear a bra or not.  I can fill a 38C but I don't have a lot of projection or sag so without a bra they just look like flabby pecs.  With that being said I do find that wearing a bra feels better in general.  However when the weather turns cold the nipple pain can be excruciating without even moving.  With a little movement causing chafing and the occasional nipple scrape on any random object I would argue that it's on par with being kick in the family jewels.   So in the winter I usually end up wearing a padded sports bra to keep the girls toasty warm.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 19, 2019, 05:06:39 PM
In my case the "dangerous network" issue was magically fixed when I stayed as far from the site as possible for about 24 days or something.  No other changes.  I actually pretty much gave up, and just gave it one last try.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: gyneco_jason on August 19, 2019, 06:15:30 PM
While underwires shape the breast more in a feminine shape, the support, containment and comfort outweighs the look.
I definitely agree with you, but my breasts are really obvious in an underwire unless I'm wearing a loose, baggy top or layers. Not ideal for hot weather.

Depending on the style of bra and the top, I have found that I can control the look of my breasts, a tactic women use all the time. As most men, I had (incorrectly) assumed that women's breasts were always on display, because that is what breasts do, right? No so. If you pay attention, most women, in non formal or semi formal situations or casual or relaxed situations, wear tops that do not show off the contours of the breast. There may be two bumps that are visible, but you don't see the contour of the breasts as you would in a dress or form fitting top that a woman would wear in a work environment or in a more formal situation that is meant to draw attention to the chest. Once I realized that and saw what they were wearing for the look, I started to convert that look into what will work for a man and I was amazed at the results.
What exactly do you mean by this? I would love to have the support of an underwire without having a big obvious feminine-looking bust, but I can't seem to pull it off.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Getting boobs on August 19, 2019, 06:30:08 PM
I think he is saying that match the style of bra you are wearing to match the top, you can make them less noticeable. I am still a work in progress with this, but getting there. I have pretty much came to accept that if you look close enough, your going to see them. So I just try to reduce what there is to see
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 20, 2019, 08:20:11 AM
If you go to a store like Torrid or Lane Bryant and tell the ladies there what you are trying to achieve with the bra that you want to wear, they will definitely have some great options or ideas to achieve the look you want.  I bought most of my blouses based on their suggestions. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 20, 2019, 10:30:54 AM

Depending on the style of bra and the top, I have found that I can control the look of my breasts, a tactic women use all the time. As most men, I had (incorrectly) assumed that women's breasts were always on display, because that is what breasts do, right? No so. If you pay attention, most women, in non formal or semi formal situations or casual or relaxed situations, wear tops that do not show off the contours of the breast. There may be two bumps that are visible, but you don't see the contour of the breasts as you would in a dress or form fitting top that a woman would wear in a work environment or in a more formal situation that is meant to draw attention to the chest. Once I realized that and saw what they were wearing for the look, I started to convert that look into what will work for a man and I was amazed at the results.
What exactly do you mean by this? I would love to have the support of an underwire without having a big obvious feminine-looking bust, but I can't seem to pull it off.
You have all styles of bras like underwire, soft cup, minimizers, bralettes, unlined, molded cup, stitched (also known as cut and sew), tee shirt, plunge, full coverage, demi, side support, bottom support, wide gore, narrow gore, push up, tall wires, short wires, sports bras and their variants. All can shape/project the breasts in certain ways. Women's clothes demand all different styles of bras to shape the breast to a specific look depending on the top/dress that the woman wants to wear. We can use this to our advantage as well. One would think that if you wear an oversized shirt, problem solved. But actually, you are drawing attention to yourself because now your top is too large and it looks out of proportion to the rest of your body.

If you have breasts that that look more than pecs, you can't totally hide them. You have to find a way to disguise/camouflage them. Women do this all the time. How many times do you see a woman and you can't remember anything about her breasts? She has breasts, right? You didn't notice them. Your eye was never drawn to her chest due to the way she was wearing her clothes. This works the same way for us. Just this morning, I had to go to the doctor. She knows about my gynecomastia. We discussed it, as usual. She asked me if I was wearing a bra. I said I was, and she said that she hadn't noticed before I set down and couldn't really tell without looking closely and even then she wasn't sure. She asked me had increased in size because the way I was dressed, she couldn't tell. She congratulated me on getting the support I needed without looking like a guy in drag. I think she was impressed! So, yes, it possible to tone things down.

Myself, I will wear non-fitted tops, button downs and polos. The polos are usually one size larger than I wear, but you have to be careful not to get the too big look. I will get tops in dark solid colors (NOT WHITE! or white variants, it's like wearing a neon sign advertising your bra/breasts!) and muted patterns to confuse the eyes, BUT NOT STRIPES! Stripes will outline your curves. That is why women don't wear stripes because it adds the illusion of weight to their bodies. I usually wear a form fitting woman's layering tank underneath because a man's undershirt is too warm when wearing a bra and is too bulky under a polo, where the woman's layering tank is made to smooth out the look without being bulky or warm. When it comes to tee shirts, I will wear either one or two sizes larger, depending on the cut, but around the house, I will wear my regular size and let the girls "come out to play" but if I leave the house, I will either add a layer on top or will put on a different top depending the situation and weather.

Something that bothers me is since men's shirts do not have any room in the chest for breasts, the cloth will pull down on the breasts and be uncomfortable. This will cause me to slump to compensate for the discomfort and not only messes up my posture, which can screw up my back, but will also draw attention to me since slumping or slouching is not a normal posture so I have to be careful how I gather the front of the shirt to give enough room for the girls, but not to show them off. It's a fine line.

These are all things I learned from female friends or from observing women in the wild.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 20, 2019, 10:45:08 AM
One thing I hate with some shirts is strained buttons.  As you said, men's shirts don't have any room up front (the back has lots of room to accomodate for arm movement).  And it even bugs me, so I can see how those of you with larger breasts end up needing women's clothes.  I wonder how it must look for other people if I stand there, with strained buttons up top, but lower down is decently loose (happens if my arms are not either in front, or hanging by my sides).

And speaking of stripes, how would you rate the severity of horizontal/vertical stripes?  Some of my shirts do have vertical stripes (as you all know, it's not so uncommon for us), but I've found printed letters on a tshirt to be problematic.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 20, 2019, 10:46:24 AM
As I said earlier, I'm not currently really putting effort into hiding them.  But at the same time I'm not flaunting them.  So far it was just business as usual.
Meant to edit my post, but it seems I ended up quoting.  Editing out the duplicate part.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 20, 2019, 11:47:55 AM
And speaking of stripes, how would you rate the severity of horizontal/vertical stripes?  Some of my shirts do have vertical stripes (as you all know, it's not so uncommon for us), but I've found printed letters on a tshirt to be problematic.
Personally I avoid them completely. The vertical stripes will come down the front and will outline the bust. Horizontals will emphasis the size, which is why women will wear horizontal stripes to give the appearance of a larger bust, while vertical stripes shows volume, like in women's hips and they will not wear them. If they wear vertical stripes, usually it is small small woman to give them some apparent size or oversized with a vest or jacket so they don't look "fat". It's the color difference between the stripes that draw attention to the stripes and to the chest in the process. If I were a woman and wanted to draw attention to my chest, I would probably live in stripes. But I don't need ANY look to make me look larger in the chest. I am big enough! I think it is a personal choice and is something that you need to try and see what it looks like and whether it works for you. That is why patterns and dark solids are recommended as a base since the eye has a hard time discerning what the true shape and size is. If you can get away with a rugby shirt, more power to you. I can't can't. This shirt would make a flat guys chest look large!
(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.itmedia.co.jp%2Fnl%2Farticles%2F1706%2F14%2Fl_ayumin170612mousou1.jpg&f=1)

Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 20, 2019, 12:29:03 PM
I take it then that checkered shirts are also best avoided...
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 20, 2019, 12:50:04 PM
I take it then that checkered shirts are also best avoided...
Depends on how tight the pattern is. Again, trial and error. If the pattern confuses the eyes, then it is a good pattern.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 20, 2019, 01:42:59 PM
I'm mainly referring to the ones that have larger squares.  As that's pretty much a staple for me.

But I suppose I should try some different styles that I already have, and pay attention to how each style affects my appearance.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 23, 2019, 08:51:43 AM
I just had a quick look.  According to the online chart of a South African clothing store, I should be a small 36B (79/94cm).  I didn't take the other measurements.  Of course I also don't know just how tight "tight" means.  Currently 69kg (I was suprised, considering Monday the scale showed 71).
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 23, 2019, 10:00:27 AM
Tight has always meant to me to mean no matter what direction I move or position my arms are in the band doesn't move. It's just short of starting to hurt. You are aware of its presence with a pressure around your ribcage but it shouldn't hurt or undue cut into the skin. It will leave a mark on your skin but shouldn't be angry in appearance and fade within an hour or so. Remember, the band takes 80 to 90 percent of the support so it has to anchor on the ribcage  and stay there. You need to be able to drop the straps and still feel the support on your breasts. If not, the band probably isn't tight enough. You do get used to the pressure and you soon you forget it is even there. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 23, 2019, 10:55:03 AM
I agree with John. That's why I will fluctuate between a 36 and 38 band depending on the material. You also have to consider sister sizing when you change band sizes. A 38G has the same cup volume as a 36H in the same.bra. 

The bra straps are basically there to keep the cup in position. I have a couple of strapless bras that stay in place just fine.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 23, 2019, 01:41:58 PM
Definitely not 38 then.  I could tighten to 78cm (barely 36), but I figured that's probably too tight.  79 was still what I'd consider tight.

As for whether or not to start wearing, I suppose I'll see once I'm at my target weight (unless I re-evaulate and stop early of course).  But going by recent experience (went down to 66kg), I'll drop to a 34 band.  I don't think I'll drop to under 73cm.

And in case somebody wonders about my already seemingly low weight, I naturally have very little muscle mass.  Lean for me is borderline underweight considering my height.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 24, 2019, 09:42:52 AM
At a 34 band, you'll be in Victoria secret size range. While they have some good bras. Be careful shopping there. While they welcome male customers,  they have a reputation for getting you in as many bras as possible, whether they fit properly or not..

You may want to look into shopping at a locally owned boutique that specializes in bra fitting.. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 24, 2019, 11:05:22 AM
I've never seen one of those shops here.  So I don't think they have a presence here in ZA anyway.

I do know of a small by-appointment place, but I don't know their policy about men (or rather fitting men, they do welcome men buying for their partners), and I don't really know what they sell (apart from the kind of stuff I'm not looking for).  They do advertise about having something for every size/shape, but it won't help if they only sell bedroom-oriented items.  Apart from that, it's basically a matter of going to a mall and visiting some large places.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 24, 2019, 12:33:58 PM
Torrid and Lane Bryant are more than happy to help us get support that we need as well.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 24, 2019, 01:42:45 PM
I've never even heard of them before starting to read posts here.

By the way.  I assume (this is all of course assuming that I do end up wearing a bra) that when cycling I'll just have to go braless?  Considering how tight cycling clothes are.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 24, 2019, 04:06:09 PM
I'm not huge into cycling but, I  would also assume that women support their breasts when cycling. 

I do a lot of swimming and I wear a womans tankini.  To me, its only clothing. Male, female, it doesn't matter to me. I just want something that fits and works with my curves. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 24, 2019, 04:10:56 PM
Large breasted women and some men including myself wear women's Tunics.  They accommodate and down play the girls. They also down play my hips and butt. They are light and flowy and very comfortable. There are several different styles  from long sleeves and short sleeved and 3/4 sleeved, 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 25, 2019, 02:35:03 AM
Well, at least I don't see much of a problem with cycling clothes, except of course how it will show what I have.  And of course I'm a bit smaller than you in the breast department, so it's easier to get away without a bra.  As I said, the main issue is discomfort caused by my shirts, followed by long term consideration (future sagging, although it's less of a problem with small-ish breasts).


Regarding bra styles, I assume strapless will be better out of a hiding standpoint?
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 25, 2019, 05:50:09 AM
You will want to stay away from a strapless bra unless you're wearing a top or.a dress that requires you to wear one (anything that is "off the shoulders "). You will end up having to adjust it several times a day depending on how much you move.

If you're looking for a stealthy bra, I would suggest a racer back, front close, underwire. The underwire will be able to do more work with less material. The racerback design will give you the smoothest appearance with no hardware across your back. Generally speaking,  you should be fine wearing  it with just a tshirt. I would suggest that you start with both a black and skin tone bra. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 25, 2019, 07:37:09 AM
Makes sense, thanks.

Why do you suggest black?  As I understand it has a tendency to show?
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 25, 2019, 01:11:23 PM
You'll want a black bra for any black or dark color top. White bras are very easy to detect but are still your best option with a with blouse.  A layering camo is also a good idea to wear over your bra in most cases. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 25, 2019, 01:15:06 PM
How important will it be with men's shirts?
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 25, 2019, 05:25:45 PM
I think that a cami is a must with any button down. I didn't used to until I was asked about it at a fitting  and the girl suggested that I try one. They are soft and comfortable and they hide the tell tale bra silhouette. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Steven618 on August 26, 2019, 02:19:38 PM
I agree racer back or front closures are your best friends. I am a 34B and if and when I wear a bra out I love my maidenform bras. Most of them have strap sliders on the front and the front closures really hide everything a man may fear being seen. When working out i wear a barelythere comfort bra. Not a sports bra but it is designed as a tank top and gives very minor compression but full support for me. I wear fairly standard t shirts. But wear darker colors as I always have so no one wonders why i stay to a certain shade but all my bras are neutral colors black tan beige white gray and either comfort bras or t shirt bras with front clips. No push up frilly patterns or anything that may cause attn. 
Though im not gonna lie i do wish i could show them off sometimes. Got em may as well flaunt em right lol damn stigmas
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 26, 2019, 02:27:36 PM
This might get expensive, considering that wearing bras will mean having to be extremely picky, and from what I'm told here also having to add some other stuff.

It seems that instead of hoping to afford one per month, I might as well hope to afford one every second month...
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Steven618 on August 26, 2019, 03:15:37 PM
Mehh depending on your bust I'd assume. Im a 34B cup and fill it pretty fully. I workout i wear fitted shirts or slightly loose shirts that are just reg t shirts just not for fitted. I think confidence and not adding attn to yourself will so a lot vs trying to buy any and all things to avoid attn. I stay away from sheer fabrics or super light colored shirts and no one has said or gave me noticeable gazes contrary to if i were to pull my shirt down tight or stretch arms back etc you would see my bra cups easily but instead just looks like slight man boob and it seems ok unless you are a full c cup or more you're probably ok
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 26, 2019, 03:37:06 PM
I'll have to wait and see what I end up with.  I'm guessing it'll be 34B or C.  It just depends how much I lose up there.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: felix on August 26, 2019, 06:29:30 PM
JohannK: If you wear tight cycling clothes, I assume you are a road biker.  I mountain bike and even with my B size boobs, a bra is mandatory for comfort.  The first time I borrowed my wife's bra and went for a ride, it felt so good I was hitting bumps on purpose.  I need to lose about 20 lb so I don't wear tight clothes because it makes me look like an old fat guy, which I am.  I ride wearing baggy shorts and a loose T shirt with a pullover leisure bra, which is basically a light duty sport bra with no hardware.  I have caught a few women staring at my chest but I think it is the boobs they see and not the bra.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on August 27, 2019, 03:37:21 AM
Your assumption was correct.  Road all the way.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: paulpark21 on September 02, 2019, 12:03:55 PM
I wear a tank top under a shirt.  It pretty much hides any bra straps.  Go with a shirt that is one or two sizes larger that what you usually wear.

How important will it be with men's shirts?
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Steven618 on September 02, 2019, 12:20:57 PM
I am a 34B cup and the bra is quite apparent with the cups in some of my bras. All are unpadded and some are more concealed than others in regard to discretion. I do not wear overly sized t shirts, or patterns or pockets. My t shirts are standard size Large t shirts and fit me as they always have before my boobs became honest boobs. I find a tank top does allow slight compression over the bra to give the chest itself a bit more modesty and bras like mine with strap adjusters on the front completely disguise the straps themselves. I feel the back hooks don't really do any showcasing and it is always the adjuster clips that give the ah ha that is a bra look. And a guys shirt isn't as form fitting or as thin material as a womans shirt so the band isn't prone to be shown where it is typically when you see where a womans bra band is. 

All in all, unless you are quite busty like C-D-E cup I think you will be just fine, being as you are and dressing as you always have. Unless I wear a total form fitting shirt, you are not noticing my b cups. If I do wear a form fitting shirt I wear a barelythere comfort bra that is shaped and fits like a tank top and gives me compression and comfort without squishing things uncomfortably and no one is the wiser. Even went to my chiropractor in them and they run there hands down my spine finding hot spots to pop and never did I ever think she ever felt the band of the bra on the comfort bras. I think it is absolutely true that no one is looking for a man in a bra. We are cause we have boobs and most wear bras and we either want to see other men in them for solace and security that we are not alone, or just in simple observation. But I don't think one needs to worry too much about wearing a typical t shirt outside of the color of it. My t shirt bras, and bralettes are not padded, not frilly or lacy, not push up or anything that directs attn to them or gives more accentuation. They are neutral colors, and fit snug as I think is a sign of more growth, but give great support and comfort and discretion. 

If you look at men in general you will see from side angles (which is what I think is the most attention giving angle) that many's chest sticks out a bit. Not anything like ours usually, but nonetheless when you take in to account how our arms sit on the side and move back and forth and as much as we move ourselves and if we are sitting we aren't jutting our chests out, and a lot of our general postures are not chest out shoulders back, they are general male postures. When you take in to account ALL of our factors in regard to posture, position, who is really looking for our bras, etc you should find a lot of calming over the fact that there is just too much going on for people to really notice, and if they do notice they probably aren't thinking AH HA BRA BOY!!!!!! they are probably just thinking hmmm dude has some boobs...and then goes back to looking at their phone or forgets about it in general a minute later. 

We live in a super attention deficit era. Where people of all ages are consumed by everything in front of them and that alone tells me unless I'm wearing a low cut push up bra or wearing a tank top with straps showing on the side, or walking around with my chest out shoulders back, then no one in their life is going to know I'm wearing a bra, unless they rub my back and feel the band, which is something I have total control over and my wife is the only one who rubs my back lol so I just make sure I don't wear a bra around her and I am good to go.. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on September 02, 2019, 12:44:39 PM
I am a 34B cup and the bra is quite apparent with the cups in some of my bras. All are unpadded and some are more concealed than others in regard to discretion. I do not wear overly sized t shirts, or patterns or pockets. My t shirts are standard size Large t shirts and fit me as they always have before my boobs became honest boobs. I find a tank top does allow slight compression over the bra to give the chest itself a bit more modesty and bras like mine with strap adjusters on the front completely disguise the straps themselves. I feel the back hooks don't really do any showcasing and it is always the adjuster clips that give the ah ha that is a bra look. And a guys shirt isn't as form fitting or as thin material as a womans shirt so the band isn't prone to be shown where it is typically when you see where a womans bra band is.

All in all, unless you are quite busty like C-D-E cup I think you will be just fine, being as you are and dressing as you always have. Unless I wear a total form fitting shirt, you are not noticing my b cups. If I do wear a form fitting shirt I wear a barelythere comfort bra that is shaped and fits like a tank top and gives me compression and comfort without squishing things uncomfortably and no one is the wiser. Even went to my chiropractor in them and they run there hands down my spine finding hot spots to pop and never did I ever think she ever felt the band of the bra on the comfort bras. I think it is absolutely true that no one is looking for a man in a bra. We are cause we have boobs and most wear bras and we either want to see other men in them for solace and security that we are not alone, or just in simple observation. But I don't think one needs to worry too much about wearing a typical t shirt outside of the color of it. My t shirt bras, and bralettes are not padded, not frilly or lacy, not push up or anything that directs attn to them or gives more accentuation. They are neutral colors, and fit snug as I think is a sign of more growth, but give great support and comfort and discretion.

If you look at men in general you will see from side angles (which is what I think is the most attention giving angle) that many's chest sticks out a bit. Not anything like ours usually, but nonetheless when you take in to account how our arms sit on the side and move back and forth and as much as we move ourselves and if we are sitting we aren't jutting our chests out, and a lot of our general postures are not chest out shoulders back, they are general male postures. When you take in to account ALL of our factors in regard to posture, position, who is really looking for our bras, etc you should find a lot of calming over the fact that there is just too much going on for people to really notice, and if they do notice they probably aren't thinking AH HA BRA BOY!!!!!! they are probably just thinking hmmm dude has some boobs...and then goes back to looking at their phone or forgets about it in general a minute later.

We live in a super attention deficit era. Where people of all ages are consumed by everything in front of them and that alone tells me unless I'm wearing a low cut push up bra or wearing a tank top with straps showing on the side, or walking around with my chest out shoulders back, then no one in their life is going to know I'm wearing a bra, unless they rub my back and feel the band, which is something I have total control over and my wife is the only one who rubs my back lol so I just make sure I don't wear a bra around her and I am good to go..
Let's see.  You said the back closing hooks don't really matter so much.  That's certainly good news.  I did some searching online, and only found two front-closing racerback bras at one shop, both in fancy colours and with not-so-smooth designs at the front.  Also, money is a very important factor.  Unlike some who can spend $100+ on a bra, I'm looking at maybe around R300 (it's roughly R15 for a US dollar) every few months.  If I'm careful, that is.  So having more to choose from will help bring cost down.  I've also wondered, since multiway bras can be worn strapless, does that mean the straps can be reversed to have the adjusters in a more suitable place?
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on September 02, 2019, 01:46:40 PM
I am a 34B cup and the bra is quite apparent with the cups in some of my bras. All are unpadded and some are more concealed than others in regard to discretion. I do not wear overly sized t shirts, or patterns or pockets. My t shirts are standard size Large t shirts and fit me as they always have before my boobs became honest boobs. I find a tank top does allow slight compression over the bra to give the chest itself a bit more modesty and bras like mine with strap adjusters on the front completely disguise the straps themselves. I feel the back hooks don't really do any showcasing and it is always the adjuster clips that give the ah ha that is a bra look. And a guys shirt isn't as form fitting or as thin material as a womans shirt so the band isn't prone to be shown where it is typically when you see where a womans bra band is.

All in all, unless you are quite busty like C-D-E cup I think you will be just fine, being as you are and dressing as you always have. Unless I wear a total form fitting shirt, you are not noticing my b cups. If I do wear a form fitting shirt I wear a barelythere comfort bra that is shaped and fits like a tank top and gives me compression and comfort without squishing things uncomfortably and no one is the wiser. Even went to my chiropractor in them and they run there hands down my spine finding hot spots to pop and never did I ever think she ever felt the band of the bra on the comfort bras. I think it is absolutely true that no one is looking for a man in a bra. We are cause we have boobs and most wear bras and we either want to see other men in them for solace and security that we are not alone, or just in simple observation. But I don't think one needs to worry too much about wearing a typical t shirt outside of the color of it. My t shirt bras, and bralettes are not padded, not frilly or lacy, not push up or anything that directs attn to them or gives more accentuation. They are neutral colors, and fit snug as I think is a sign of more growth, but give great support and comfort and discretion.

If you look at men in general you will see from side angles (which is what I think is the most attention giving angle) that many's chest sticks out a bit. Not anything like ours usually, but nonetheless when you take in to account how our arms sit on the side and move back and forth and as much as we move ourselves and if we are sitting we aren't jutting our chests out, and a lot of our general postures are not chest out shoulders back, they are general male postures. When you take in to account ALL of our factors in regard to posture, position, who is really looking for our bras, etc you should find a lot of calming over the fact that there is just too much going on for people to really notice, and if they do notice they probably aren't thinking AH HA BRA BOY!!!!!! they are probably just thinking hmmm dude has some boobs...and then goes back to looking at their phone or forgets about it in general a minute later.

We live in a super attention deficit era. Where people of all ages are consumed by everything in front of them and that alone tells me unless I'm wearing a low cut push up bra or wearing a tank top with straps showing on the side, or walking around with my chest out shoulders back, then no one in their life is going to know I'm wearing a bra, unless they rub my back and feel the band, which is something I have total control over and my wife is the only one who rubs my back lol so I just make sure I don't wear a bra around her and I am good to go..
Let's see.  You said the back closing hooks don't really matter so much.  That's certainly good news.  I did some searching online, and only found two front-closing racerback bras at one shop, both in fancy colours and with not-so-smooth designs at the front.  Also, money is a very important factor.  Unlike some who can spend $100+ on a bra, I'm looking at maybe around R300 (it's roughly R15 for a US dollar) every few months.  If I'm careful, that is.  So having more to choose from will help bring cost down.  I've also wondered, since multiway bras can be worn strapless, does that mean the straps can be reversed to have the adjusters in a more suitable place?
Great question about multiway bras. The answer is yes and no. I have a Freya Deco multiway/ strapless bra that has straps that can be easily reversed, removed, or crossed in a racerback style. I also have a few bras that can be connected via a "j" hook to convert to a racer back however they are not removable what so ever. 
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: Steven618 on September 02, 2019, 02:01:32 PM
I personally don't think 60-100.00 bras are necessary at all for long term use. I buy on eBay honestly and have never had any negative experiences in wear and tear when received or how long they have lasted. I have 5 bras, and 2 are comfort bras and none of them have had any issues in wiring, straps, bands or comfort. I have had them for a few months and with my recent growth spurt they have become fitting to very snug and pretty sure I'm outgrowing them. Unless you are a large C cup or beyond that then I don't think you will find cheaper bras to be a nuisance in longevity or comfort. I'm a mild B cup and wear a bra daily except when around my wife and wear one for probably 12-14hours a day and wash once a week and hang dry and not a single bra of mine cost more than 6 bucks. 

As far as adjusters, it doesn't matter how you make the straps, if they are on the back they will remain on your back. Maidenform is what I wear and they have a lot of bras with adjusters on the front. I would look in to some of those. Or multiway bras that allow you to remove the straps and manipulate their positions
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: JohannK on September 02, 2019, 05:04:34 PM
I was basically thinking of starting with a 2-pack for up to R300 (maybe up to R350, but I can't go higher).  And as I said, that's every second month at the most.

Also, it seems getting exercise will be harder than I expected.  I can ride my bicycle, but it takes its toll on my arms.  So I'm starting to wonder if I'll have to approach the weight loss much more gradually than I planned (I'm back to where I started).  So I might just end up getting fitted before I go down to a 34 band.


For those who might wonder (mainly targeted at those who don't understand the idea of acceptance), there are worse things in life than having a bit extra tissue on the chest.  Pain disorders are not fun.
Title: Re: To bra, or not to bra
Post by: hammer on September 02, 2019, 06:33:30 PM
I wear a tank top under a shirt.  It pretty much hides any bra straps.  Go with a shirt that is one or two sizes larger that what you usually wear.

How important will it be with men's shirts?
All I wear is men's clothes