Gynecomastia Forum, Doctor and Surgery Resources

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: Athena12@ on June 30, 2018, 02:33:54 AM

Title: Have we lost membership
Post by: Athena12@ on June 30, 2018, 02:33:54 AM
I still haven't seen a new topic in over a week and that is being kind. Has the membership drifted away or are do they just have nothing new to talk about?
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: chestyoldman on June 30, 2018, 09:56:44 AM
I have been away for awhile, but I really don't have anything new to say. I check in once in awhile to see if there's anything new to read, though.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: hammer on June 30, 2018, 12:07:26 PM
It is the season the people seem to be busy doing other things and drift away from the forum! I've seen it over the years as I do it myself! Such as today I'm looking at it at 11 am when normally I've looked at it by 7 am or earlier. I'm taking a break from putting a new deck on my utility trailer. I started early to try and beat the heat, but it is still hotter than I would like it to be, but I have a lot of projects I want to get done this summer and I haven't felt this good in years, AS LONG AS I CAN DO THE WORK SITTING DOWN 🙄
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Athena12@ on June 30, 2018, 01:40:16 PM
Hammer I understand that people get busy and Lord know this summer I am doing all sort of things, lawn, garden, doctors, taking the wife out shopping and when I can stand the heat I'll sit on the deck and read (and work on my bra tan).  I usually don't come on till the evening myself and it seems we both do a lot of commenting, as do some others.  But it just seems like the well ran dry on new ideas.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Emcginty on June 30, 2018, 10:31:49 PM
Alot has been covered in previous boards.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Athena12@ on June 30, 2018, 11:20:09 PM
That is my feeling as well!  I haven't been here that long but even in my short time here I have seen the NEW post drop of to almost nothing.  I think we need some new blood but how we are going to get it is a mystery.  I found this place purely by accident and I hope other people we stumble upon us as well.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Athena12@ on July 03, 2018, 05:30:08 PM
Sorry to see you leave but I completely understand.  But remember you are welcome here any time.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on July 11, 2018, 08:03:43 AM
I have hardly posted but still check out the board frequently. It is one of several I keep tabs on. As a lifer with gynecomastia, I find comfort knowing I am not alone and that has given me the courage to accept my breasts and now wear bras to support my DD chest. 
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: George Pope, M.D. on July 11, 2018, 08:29:20 AM
Men who have had their gynecomastia managed with surgery usually drift away from the site once they are healed.  They move on with their new chest and new life and seldom look back.  The question is: how do we promote this site to men with G to get new followers with new questions? 

I have many gynecomastia patients in my practice, and I always refer them to this forum. I'm sure I could be more active with social media to promote the site; not sure if other docs here are doing that.  I know I don't post here often enough - get busy with my practice and get distracted.  I'm trying to be more active here.  Hopefully we can keep things fresh and generate more interest.
Dr. Pope, MD
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Athena12@ on July 11, 2018, 04:35:32 PM
Thanks for the reply Doctor!  I can understand that once a person has the surgery that he would naturally drift away.  If I was 20 years younger I might myself but at 70 I do not want any surgery unless it is to save my life.  Thank you for mentioning this site and hope you continue to do so.  I think it is our job here to be supportive of new members as well as the existing ones.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Winner on July 11, 2018, 10:20:43 PM
I made a new topic under polls.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Jason13820 on July 19, 2018, 01:07:00 AM
It's probably safe to assume that like most message boards, there are a lot of people here who read but never post.
The "acceptance garments" section should always be fresh because companies are always releasing new styles of bras and compression vests. If you come across a good one, share a photo or two!
I don't really have anything more to gain from coming here because I've come to accept my gynecomastia, but I come back because I think it's good to let the self-conscious newcomers here know that other guys are dealing with the same thing, and that you don't have to hate your boobs.
It's nice to see the threads where guys who are stressed out in the initial post turn out relaxed and upbeat after getting advice from other guys who've had the same problem.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Athena12@ on July 19, 2018, 01:57:57 AM
Jason, Thanks for your comments and they do strike home.  It is also nice to show others that not only have we come to accept that we have boobs/breast but we like to share both our development process of acceptance and our fun in sharing our everyday stories of our  progress and photos of our new bras. 
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Paa_Paw on August 29, 2018, 09:05:55 PM
In recent months I have sometimes had problems signing in.  I get a message that my screen name is not valid or that my password was not entered correctly. a day later I sign in without difficulty.   Please don't tell me I mis-entered the screen name or password, My computer has both memorized and signing in takes only a single key-stroke.  Sometimes it works and sometimes I am effectively locked out. 
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: bustymale on September 03, 2018, 05:11:46 PM
I think some members, including myself, are less likely to participate because some members make judgmental posts
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: felix on September 04, 2018, 01:14:34 AM
I am with Jason on this.  My girls showed up about a year ago.  I don't have as much to deal with as some of the other guys here, but it was a relief to find that I am not alone.  I have come to sort of enjoy them and my 42D wife has a sense of humor about them.  Reading the older posts in this section helped me eventually find a style and brand that works for me.  Now I have 4 of the same bra in different colors and plan to order a couple more.  I am pretty sure a couple of people have busted me wearing a bra, but it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.  Once in a while I see a post from a newbie and realize they are pretty much where I was a year ago.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: hammer on September 04, 2018, 08:02:32 AM
I know a few of the new members were scared off because they thought that the forum is just another cross dressing forum when they read men writing post about falling all over each others breast like a bunch of schoolgirls!

I've had a few of them contact me off the forum and we've been able to work together without the forum due to the fact that they were uncomfortable with the type of post that they were seeing!

Some may see this as judgmental, but others see the post as repulsive!
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Reluctant on September 09, 2018, 04:03:34 PM
I'm one of those people that keeps trying to ashore myself about my Gynecomastia.  I often want to see just how other people deal with the issue from time to time.  To see just how server their problem is and how they deal with it.  Often I try to rationalize or justify why I'm wearing a bra (40B).  I see people on this site that truly need to wear a bra and then those who I question, why?  I due need to admit that I want to see what type of bras some are wearing.  I myself look into the mirror and see these things hanging there bouncing around on my chest.  Then I look to see what bra to wear today, depending on what type of shirt I'm going to wear so to hide them the best way I can.  So, when I view this site, it provides me the assurance I need in my mind as to the need for support to keep them confined.  I rarely comment on the posts, I'm just here in the background trying to get the emotional support that this site offers. With that said, I'm sure that there's many others in the same boat as me that view this site as support and their presents is unknown.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on September 10, 2018, 08:01:28 AM
I too have been contacted off line about specifics mostly due to the embarrassment talking about bras and breasts bring on for men. I too am still guarded in what and how I say things even though it has taken a while for myself to talk more openly about my breasts and wearing bras. 
As a friend of mine has pointed out, it isn't the bra that is the problem, it is the breast. People can't tell if you are wearing a bra, but they can tell if you have breasts whether you are in a bra or not. How will you deal with that?
Even though society is more allowing of things once considered taboo, those of us with unwanted gynecomastia are still discriminated against. "Real men don't have breasts or wear bras." In reality real men DO have breasts and DO wear bras for their developed chests. I didn't ask to have breasts. No one asked my opinion, but since I have them, how do I deal with them and everyone deals differently. I have decided that I will embrace them and celebrate them and take care of them as women do since they are a part of me whether I want them to be or not and surgery isn't an option. But I am more comfortable now physically as well as mentally since doing so even though it continues to be a struggle at times.
I am a male. I present male. A male is what I am. I have no desire to be a female. But due to hormones in my body that I have no control over, my body isn't completely male either. The testosterone and estrogen stay in a constant battle of how my body reacts and looks. It is physically more comfortable for me to wear a bra than to not wear a bra because I have a bust that needs supporting. Since wearing a bra, I don't think about my bust as much as I used to. Bottom line for me is comfort. The physical support of a well fitting bra provides that for me. But that can be in direct odds with male shirts. Women's tops fit my shape better and are more comfortable, particularly in the bust, albeit with a feminine appearance in the torso area, but I wear men's shirts and find ways to wear them without looking out of place as a man. It is hard, but can be done successfully, as many here have proven.
Yes, I would love to not have to worry about what my chest looks like in a shirt. I would love to just put on a bra and a light tee shirt like women do and go about my business with no one looking, but that isn't how it works. I hope one day it will and the only way it will is to be as open as you can and that isn't easy, no matter who you are. Not for me anyway.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: hammer on September 10, 2018, 04:53:49 PM


I too have been contacted off line about specifics mostly due to the embarrassment talking about bras and breasts bring on for men. I too am still guarded in what and how I say things even though it has taken a while for myself to talk more openly about my breasts and wearing bras.
As a friend of mine has pointed out, it isn't the bra that is the problem, it is the breast. People can't tell if you are wearing a bra, but they can tell if you have breasts whether you are in a bra or not. How will you deal with that?
Even though society is more allowing of things once considered taboo, those of us with unwanted gynecomastia are still discriminated against. "Real men don't have breasts or wear bras." In reality real men DO have breasts and DO wear bras for their developed chests. I didn't ask to have breasts. No one asked my opinion, but since I have them, how do I deal with them and everyone deals differently. I have decided that I will embrace them and celebrate them and take care of them as women do since they are a part of me whether I want them to be or not and surgery isn't an option. But I am more comfortable now physically as well as mentally since doing so even though it continues to be a struggle at times.
I am a male. I present male. A male is what I am. I have no desire to be a female. But due to hormones in my body that I have no control over, my body isn't completely male either. The testosterone and estrogen stay in a constant battle of how my body reacts and looks. It is physically more comfortable for me to wear a bra than to not wear a bra because I have a bust that needs supporting. Since wearing a bra, I don't think about my bust as much as I used to. Bottom line for me is comfort. The physical support of a well fitting bra provides that for me. But that can be in direct odds with male shirts. Women's tops fit my shape better and are more comfortable, particularly in the bust, albeit with a feminine appearance in the torso area, but I wear men's shirts and find ways to wear them without looking out of place as a man. It is hard, but can be done successfully, as many here have proven.
Yes, I would love to not have to worry about what my chest looks like in a shirt. I would love to just put on a bra and a light tee shirt like women do and go about my business with no one looking, but that isn't how it works. I hope one day it will and the only way it will is to be as open as you can and that isn't easy, no matter who you are. Not for me anyway.

Very well stated, Johndoe1!  I wish I could have said it just as you have!
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Reluctant on September 10, 2018, 06:47:18 PM
I must say Johndoe1, you definitely hit the nail on the head.  You are what you are and mentally it's something that one must except.  Since I developed breast it doesn't make me a lesser man or a makes me fell like a woman.  When I look at myself, whether I'm wearing a bra or not, my breast show.  I do try to hide them with Hawaiian or Columbia shirts.  Living in the southeast where the weather allows this it's great.  But you just can't hide them no matter what you do or wear.  So I go about my business and I don't care what people may or may not think.  However, I do have one fear.  That's at church, they always want to hug you, so it's the only time that I don't wear a bra.  You know, I look back at what my late wife said when I started to wear bras.  She thought I needed to wear a bra and wondered when I would start.  My new wife totally understands and supports me and that really helps.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: hammer on September 10, 2018, 07:48:12 PM
I must say Johndoe1, you definitely hit the nail on the head.  You are what you are and mentally it's something that one must except.  Since I developed breast it doesn't make me a lesser man or a makes me fell like a woman.  When I look at myself, whether I'm wearing a bra or not, my breast show.  I do try to hide them with Hawaiian or Columbia shirts.  Living in the southeast where the weather allows this it's great.  But you just can't hide them no matter what you do or wear.  So I go about my business and I don't care what people may or may not think.  However, I do have one fear.  That's at church, they always want to hug you, so it's the only time that I don't wear a bra.  You know, I look back at what my late wife said when I started to wear bras.  She thought I needed to wear a bra and wondered when I would start.  My new wife totally understands and supports me and that really helps.

Gentlemen,  I've always said to the men on this forum that having breast does not make them any less a men or turn them into a woman anymore than standing in the middle of the woods will turn then into a bear or living in the garage will turn them into a car!

I am so pleased to see you here on the forum posting these GREAT post!

Thank you!
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on September 10, 2018, 09:52:56 PM
However, I do have one fear.  That's at church, they always want to hug you, so it's the only time that I don't wear a bra.

Church was also something that bothered me for the same reason. But from what I have found out, with a proper fitting bra, it molds to the body and with a thick shirt or a layer under the shirt like a tee shirt, even if someone were to touch the straps they either don't realize what it is or more likely don't even feel it but people will usually put their hands between the shoulder blades between the straps and if your band is sitting where it should, parallel to the floor, they will not feel it either. This has been my first hand experience and now I wear, even at church and no one has said anything or even given any indication they suspect and we are a "hugging church."
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Seanodonovan on September 12, 2018, 02:35:16 PM
I am a new member (joined today) and I suppose I am looking for "support" i.e. confirmation that I am not alone!  Pure reason tells me I cannot be alone but it is always better to see others than simply guess that others must be there.
I am 69, live alone so have no concerns over what any wife/partner might think.  I am English so have no concerns about being hugged (by and large the English don't "do" hugs) and on the rare occasion that might happen no-one would say anything even if they did notice anything (because the English don't comment like that).
I have started wearing bras for comfort as my breasts have grown to the size where comfort becomes a factor....nothing huge but noticeable..and because I am at an age where one does a number of things for comfort/practicality like using a walking stick or wearing those handy night-time garments "in case of accidents".  
Although in those days I didn't know the term, gynecomastia has been a part of my life since teen days.  The only time anyone commented was once or twice in my army days (when they were definitely not huge but still noticeable if one looked) when to the comment "You've got bigger breasts than my wife" the answer was.."So what?  My IQ is big as well.."
regards to all
Sean
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: felix on September 12, 2018, 03:50:50 PM
Welcome to Guys Who Wear Bras.  You are not alone and a lot of us in the Acceptance section seem to be older guys who are not mortified at the idea of wearing a bra for comfort.  Most of us are just guys who are trying to make the best of a bad situation.  I joined the group about a year ago.  There are a lot of us out here and putting on a bra in the morning isn't the end of the world.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: hammer on September 13, 2018, 07:20:05 AM
I'll join Felix and welcome you to the "club" so to speak!

As he said most of us a bunch of older guys (I'm 60) and some are even from your part of the world as well,  but we are are learning or have learned to live with gynecomastia.  

I like you, also had it as a teen and not much ever said except a few things while in the service, but as a Navy diver and in great shape the guys always did it in just!

Once again welcome,  and if there is anything that we can do to help just chime in, as we are here for one another!
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on September 13, 2018, 07:41:47 AM
Hello Sean. You are not alone. They say that 50% of men are affected by gynecomastia in some way or another. Many here have been affected since puberty. Some later in life due to medication. It has been life long for me and I finally just got tired of worrying about it and embraced it. And since I have, life has gotten much better, physically and mentally. I had a horrible self body image that affected my health. Once I came to terms with the real reason, my chest, I decided my life was more important than my chest. Once I stopped worrying, others stopped noticing my chest. Actually I think my paranoia over my chest caused me to see that no one cared about my boobs but me. While very few people know of my bra wearing, those few who do are specially chosen, understand what I am doing and support me in return. I am straight and happily married. I just wear a bra for my breast tissue. I wished I had gotten to this point years ago. I would have had a happier life.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Seanodonovan on September 13, 2018, 10:07:51 AM
Thanks for the replies folks.
I admit to being just a little puzzled as to why some enterprising person has not designed male-oriented bras instead of aiming such as are made at the X-dress/TG market.  With 50% of the male population affected you would think there would be some profit there.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: aboywithgirls on September 13, 2018, 12:21:34 PM
That may be. For me, I have found that the bras available for women work excellent for me. I have several everyday bras. However, I also have sports bras for workouts and leisure bras for sleeping. Some of my bras are molded cup and I have lace cup bras for warmer weather. Women already have a great selection and a wide variety of styles and sizes.  A little lace never bothered me. 
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on September 13, 2018, 04:39:50 PM
Elisabeth Dale who writes a breast blog and is an advocate for gynecomastia suffers asked that question to manufactures and they didn't seem very interested. I guess their attitude is why change when men are already buying what is on the market.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: aboywithgirls on October 02, 2018, 12:19:14 PM
I agree, Steven.  For myself,  I like bras the way they are. I can get a great fitting and comfortable bra at many stores. It may have lace or bows or it may be a plunge.  Its not a big deal. Only my wife and I see it.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: hammer on October 02, 2018, 02:04:31 PM
I also agree! A bra is a bra, is a bra, and they are made to support breast, so if you have breast and are more comfortable in a bra, then wear one!

Now days, we have boys trying to  be girls and girls that are trying to be boys and same sex marriage so if you're a straight guy who has breast, then wear a bra, and if anyone has any problem with it, the hell with them!
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: aboywithgirls on October 03, 2018, 05:56:31 AM
Agreed! Hammer, I know that you and I are on the same page about getting fitted. I think that I have mentioned that on several occasions while getting fitted, the sales girl will ,of course will bring different bras for you to try on. It happens more times than not, she'll say " I hope that it's not too feminine for you. "  I'll tell her don't worry about that, it's a bra, it's supposed to be feminine unless you sell mens bras that I don't know about!
When I'm wearing a bra, which is almost always, no matter how much lace, lift, projection, bows it has, or what color it is or even if it has an animal print or if it comes with matching panties. To me, it's either a man's bra or it's just a bra!
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on October 03, 2018, 08:49:16 AM
I do have a bra that's color is gun metal! That is the listed color! I guess it is for women who like guns?! 
It is funny you mention about "men's bras" or actually lack there of. I am with ABWG and Hammer on this. I was just talking with my bra fitter yesterday about this very thing. I was telling her there was nothing in that store designed with a male in mind. No where did she sell a "man's bra." If I needed support, I had to buy what was sold and every bra she had in her store was designed for and marketed to women, meaning if the bra had lace or bows or those little metal medallions hanging between the cups that are becoming popular, so be it. No one sees my bra except me. I am now beyond caring about trivial stuff like that. I look for function, not fashion and if it happens to have embellishments, I'm cool with it. I would rather be supported than fretting over bows. Just how I feel about it.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: aboywithgirls on October 03, 2018, 09:35:45 AM
I also have a gun metal bra. Its trimmed in pink lace with a pink bow between the cups and pink bows at the base of the straps. It's a 38G.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Seanodonovan on October 03, 2018, 11:11:33 AM
Interesting replies and all missing the point I was making (or trying to make...not for the first time on the internet I find myself wondering if I actually speak the same language!).
It is not a question of who on this board wears bras or whether those on this board like wearing bras or not.  It is a question of whether the majority of those men who have gynaecomastia would wear a bra if such were to be designed for men.
After WWI and .WWII there was a huge surge in women wearing clothing that was traditionally in the male domain (trousers/pants, shirts, some types of footwear), principally because women were taking up work traditionally done by men and therefore needed the same (or similar) workwear.  While at first this was of course clothing made for men it was not long before clothes designers altered the garments to better fit a woman's shape. (And from an earlier era women's underwear was also similarly altered due to the fashion for cycling.)  
I do not doubt for a moment that you all like the bras you wear.  I don't doubt it because if you didn't like them you wouldn't wear them.  But that  doesn't stop me from being surprised that no enterprising designer has done for men what has been done so often for women.
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: aboywithgirls on October 03, 2018, 12:19:48 PM
I can see your point. However, there are so many bra makers out there. I've been wearing a bra for almost 30 years now and in that time, I have tried alot of them. Because of all of the variables in breast size and shape and over all upper body build, a bra maker trying to make bras for men in mind would have a  limited market. 
I have bras by 4-5 different makers  that I have found that fit me. I wear sports bras, leisure bras, unlined bras for summer and molded cup bras for cooler weather. Then we get to colors and if I'm wearing a tank top or if I'm wearing just a t shirt. 
It would take a lot of time and research for a bra maker to be able to fill my top drawer. However, if someone came out with a 38G bra for men, that did what my current ladies bras do for me for 18+ hours, I would definitely give it a try.
It's like with work boots.  Many women are still wearing mens work boots because women's boots aren't as good. 
Title: Re: Have we lost membership
Post by: Johndoe1 on October 03, 2018, 12:46:33 PM
I am ABWG on this one. There would need to be LOTS of R&D done to produce a man bra that does for the male what the female bra does for the female simply because of the two completely different mind sets on what a bra should do. My guess is the man bra would not fit the same and that might be because since it is a man's it HAS to be different so as NOT to be considered, FEMALE. Dumb reason. I would give it a try, but for some reason, I suspect I would continue to wear a female bra for fit and comfort. That is already figured out R&D wise.