Gynecomastia Forum, Doctor and Surgery Resources

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Exposure => Topic started by: Kerpal on March 25, 2008, 08:33:11 PM

Title: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Kerpal on March 25, 2008, 08:33:11 PM
I really need to tell my mom about my gynecomastia so that I can go for surgery but I just can't make myself do it.  I'm almost 22, I've had it since I was 13, I've missed out on so much because of it, but I just can't tell anyone about it.  It is just so embarrassing and emasculating.  I've been telling myself for YEARS now that I need to tell her about it, and that I will the next time I see her (I'm in college) but I just CAN'T seem to do it!  It's like there's a mental block there after hiding it for so long. 

Was anyone else in this situation?


Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: cgeorge1 on March 28, 2008, 03:46:24 AM
i was in your same situation, i finally realized that if i wanted to move on. i had to do  it. so i manned up and did it, it was a great step to overcome. just do it and you'll know and you will gain that must way toward acheiving surgery.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: bokchop on April 01, 2008, 02:58:46 AM
hey same here, i cant bring myself to tell parents that i want to to somethin about it. pointed it out to mum once and she said it looks like heaps of other blokes. my family i big cept for me. They would think i had mental issues if i mentioned surgery. Iam 22 as well and have just booked a consultation with a PS who has done these before to see what my options are. had it since i was about 12 and it put a stop to my swimming at carnivals from bout 14 on. Iam at college as well and think i will just bite the bullet and just do it without them ever knowing (only cause i saved the $).  :)

Good Luck mate, would prob be best to tell em but, let us know how you go cause i might change my mind.

Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: bokchop on April 01, 2008, 03:13:12 AM
although in all reality im sure my parents and anyone elses would understand, its not our fault that we got them and it is ultimately your decision what to do about them. The mental block thing is strong and i know where you are coming from
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Kerpal on April 03, 2008, 04:35:06 AM
^ Congratulations.

I am just having an impossible time trying to bring it up with her.  I'm not sure why I feel so embarrassed about it.  I think it is just because I've been hiding it from people and thinking about it so much for almost 9 years now that it's just become impossible for me to talk about with anyone except anonymously online.

I know she will feel sad that I've been hiding it for so long and have been so depressed about it and I feel bad asking her for the money also.  I don't really have any money, I have about $3,000 in my bank account and that's it.  I'm in college and have to pay for rent and books and etc.  I know she would help me pay for it if I told her about it, she doesn't have a lot of money though and is always talking about how she needs to save more money with the economy going downhill and everything.

I don't know what to do.  I really want the gynecomastia gone, more than anything, but I just CAN'T talk about it with anyone!  It is so frustrating!  For you guys who have told your parents about it and asked them to help you pay for the surgery, do you have any advice on what I should say to her?
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Paa_Paw on April 28, 2008, 12:22:07 AM
When I was 12 years old, My Mother teased that "If the get any bigger I'll need to buy you a Bra".

The subject, she realized, was hurtful but the words could not be recalled.

Never again did she put me on the spot in that way, Never again was I to be seen without a shirt on. Neither of us knew how to open any discussion on the subject. We tacitly agreed to pretend that the subject did not exist.

That pretense broke down almost 40 years later when i was talking about the condition in my sons and I wanted to know if it ran in the family. Apparently it does.

Sometimes if you have difficulty speaking with a parent, A Grandparent is even better.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Kerpal on April 28, 2008, 11:36:42 PM
Jesus Paa_Paw, that must have been ****ing traumatizing.

Unfortunately all my grandparents are gone.  The only person I could ever even see myself bringing this up with is my mom and I can't make myself do it.  No one in my family knows I have it, or at least they've never brought it up, but I'm pretty sure they've never noticed because I've gotten so good at hiding it. 
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Hefner33 on May 12, 2008, 10:20:40 PM
I feel the same so alone and can't tell anyone!!!
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: sasidon on May 15, 2008, 04:41:08 AM
is it really necessary to tell them?
cant v go to doctor and have Gyne done ???

Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Kerpal on May 17, 2008, 12:50:15 AM
I can't afford the surgery... I'm a broke college student, I have like $500 in my bank account right now.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: PhillyPUFF on May 27, 2008, 03:20:22 PM
Listen, Kerpal, You need to get this out in the open. I know its hard. I just turned 23. I've had gyne for about 9 years. No need to explain what I go through on a daily basis. No need to explain what I've missed out on all these years. I'd be preaching to the choir. I just told my family about my gyne this past winter. Its very hard to do, and i couldn't do it in person. I wrote them all an email. I let it all out. I told them not to call me after reading the letter as I wouldn't be able to talk about it without typing just yet. TRUST ME. JUST TELL YOUR MOM. The 'demon' loses a lot of its power once its uncovered. Sure, I still think about it, and still have the same restrictions, but I've gotten better with it. And my dad agreed to co-sign a loan to get my surgery. I'm scheduled to go under the knife on July 3rd!! I'm so damn excited!! If you need help writing a letter to your mom - I can help, i'll send you the one i sent to my parents :) I don't care. You need to defeat your gyne. Your first step is getting it out in the open. Good luck man.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: MSJ108 on May 27, 2008, 05:18:54 PM
I can't afford the surgery... I'm a broke college student, I have like $500 in my bank account right now.

You don't have to tell her. You are a grow man. Go the doc and finance the surgery.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Paa_Paw on June 04, 2008, 12:12:55 PM
If we really think about it, there is someone that we can talk to.

It may be a grandparent, Uncle, Aunt, or other relative. But there is someone that we can speak to candidly. Think about it seriously then go to that person and have a good talk.

Don't think for a minute that it is impossible,  You open up here, why not with someone who is more in a position to be of direct help?

We are not really odd at all. Many look at the figures and conclude that gynecomastia is statistically normal.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: MSJ108 on June 08, 2008, 03:30:18 AM
If we really think about it, there is someone that we can talk to.

It may be a grandparent, Uncle, Aunt, or other relative. But there is someone that we can speak to candidly. Think about it seriously then go to that person and have a good talk.

Don't think for a minute that it is impossible,  You open up here, why not with someone who is more in a position to be of direct help?

We are not really odd at all. Many look at the figures and conclude that gynecomastia is statistically normal.

good posting
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Grandpa Bambu on June 12, 2008, 03:01:55 PM
I just told my family about my gyne this past winter. Its very hard to do, and i couldn't do it in person. I wrote them all an email. I let it all out.

You are right PhillyPUFF, an email/reg. letter is the easiest way to do it.

I have yet to tell my M&D. Probably never will either. As I was 41 and working at the time of my surgery, I could afford to pay for the procedure myself. Didn't have to get my parents involved. I would have liked to let them know what I had done, but as with most, it would be far too embarrassing. :-\

GB
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: leafhead on July 15, 2008, 05:17:52 PM
It's always a good idea to educate your audience on a subject before you try to sell it. You and I know what it feels like to have this, and that it is a medical condition. Try posting a link to this site on your email. There are also some eye opening videos on youtube.
Best of luck.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: patriot389 on July 31, 2008, 09:43:07 PM
I went through the same thing, and once i finally did, it was a great feeling.  she was very accepting.  I am only 19, and i was at away school.  I sent an e-mail asking her to make a doctors appointment for me.  she called and asked why, I then explained everything over the phone.  she was just as determined to schedule the surgery as I was, and I was very thankful for that.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Copespo on August 12, 2008, 07:07:13 AM
I told my parents about 3 times already, once like 5 years ago and then another time like 3 and the last time was like a month ago and they kind of ignored me....they think its normal and I was laughed at, yes laughed at and now I am just gonna take the problem into my own hands. I really dont need their money or anything just wanted their support but they decided the best way was to make fun of the situation and tell me that I am making things up. So yea now I am gonna have the surgery in a total secret....some parents are awesome, and they understand and are willing to help with support and surgery but then some are total a-holes about the whole thing and they ignore you.... and my parents fall into that second category....
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: booty_frijoles on August 24, 2008, 10:53:53 PM
Wow, Copespo that sucks hardcore man!

I'm 17 here, exactly like most ppl here I've been hiding it for years and I'm just now trying to get up the courage to talk about it. I'm hoping to get it all out in the open by the end of this week so I can get the surgery and put this all behind.

I have a plan here tho....so I told my mom to make an appt with my doctor so I could talk to him about my wrist, cuz my wrist has been hurting from lifting weights and stuff. I plan on asking him about the gyne and hopefully we can talk about it and discuss options. Then I plan to talk to my mom about it, along with the doctor so he can kinda help out. I'm hoping this works well.

Wish me luck everybody!
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: jimbob1988 on August 28, 2008, 01:24:54 PM
Send an email tell your mum/dad you've sent them an email, go out. Then when you come back they will approach you! Trust me man (im 20) I feel soooo much better having done something and I thought about it everyday for like 4 years or something - so your not alone. Just do it, send the email and its done.
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: William on August 31, 2008, 05:19:58 AM
Hi

You should tell her

She probably already noticed and either was not comfortable bringing the subject up with you or like many Mothers thought you were not bothered by it.

William


I really need to tell my mom about my gynecomastia so that I can go for surgery but I just can't make myself do it.  I'm almost 22, I've had it since I was 13, I've missed out on so much because of it, but I just can't tell anyone about it.  It is just so embarrassing and emasculating.  I've been telling myself for YEARS now that I need to tell her about it, and that I will the next time I see her (I'm in college) but I just CAN'T seem to do it!  It's like there's a mental block there after hiding it for so long. 

Was anyone else in this situation?



Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: Tallguy on October 13, 2008, 08:56:51 PM

It's tough for parents, ESPECIALLY mothers, to accept that there might be something wrong with one of their children. Or a condition that causes them embarrassment, or low self esteem.

I went to my folks and told them I wanted to have this operation. Mom Started crying. Dad came to me later and told me "It would really hurt your mother if something were to go wrong with the operation." My dad had so many different operations that he looked like a zipper. It was OK for him to go under go the knife but not me.

So I waited. ( I'm 53 years old)  My parents passed away 5 years ago. I had the surgery done 2 years ago in August. I feel so much better. I am coming to grip my weight issue (Low self-esteem) I got down to the desired weight for the operation (Walking/diet/no alcohol) I put the wight back on. But I am ready to make changes for the long term now.

I went to 5 different surgeons here on the west coast seeking opinions.

I chose Dr. Delgado in Novato, California. He did a great Job. He performs the operation last 50 times a year. He knows what he is doing. I highly recommend him. His staff is excellent!

You younger guys, don't wait until your in your 30's, 40's, 50's to get this done. You only have one life.
Everyone deserves happiness!!

Go talk to your parents. Be upfront, direct and honest with them. If they realize this really bothers you, then they should be willing to help you out.

Good luck!!

Tallguy 





 
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: mthatch1 on October 13, 2008, 10:08:31 PM
Kerpal,

I don't think I will ever tell my parents.  It is not something I think that they need to know.  I am 27.  I am close to my parents but I do not live with them or anywhere near them.  If I told my parents, they would not understand.  They would think it was excessive, luxurious, dangerous and I think it would generally confuse them. 

I don't want them to worry about me.  There is nothing that they can do to help me.  I have told about 5 close friends and they have all been supportive. 

M
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: mthatch1 on January 17, 2009, 06:00:31 PM
Kerpal,

Have you made any progress on telling your mother or finding some funding for the surgery? 

How much do you estimate your surgery will cost?  Have you been to a surgeon? 

Mark
Title: Re: Still can't tell my mom...
Post by: mc88 on February 10, 2009, 01:07:29 AM
I sent an email to my mom a few weeks ago, saying I was maybe going to get a hold of a doctor because I noticed some lumps in my chest that have been getting worse over the years and that I thought it was gyne. (I tried my best not to say that there pretty much puffy nipples) And that I was embarassed to talk to her about it and with anyone else and for her not to mention it ot anyone. Im 20 and Im also in college.
I also mentioned how i read that its easy to be taken care of with surgery and stuff.

She emailed me back and asked why I didnt bring it up sooner and that I should go see my family doctor about it. She said theres nothing to be embarassed about. and she said I shouldnt diagnose the problem myelf (even though I know its what I have). Then I emailed her back saying ya I'd definitely go see a doctor and stuff, and explained how gyne isnt a serious thing. Its just been embarassing to me and stuff, but she never really responded, maybe she looked up what gyne was on the internet and thought it wasnt a big deal. Im going home this weekend so I'll see if she brings it up. If she does then I'll be happy to show her, but I dont think I'm going to bring it up to her again until I know i'll have time to go see a doctor about it.