Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?

Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« on: April 28, 2009, 01:50:51 pm »
As a child I was diagnosed with an "autoimmune" disease known as JRA (Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis). Eventually, they prescribed prednisone to reduce the inflammation in my body. It helped with pain, but I gained a ton of weight. I've never had a very masculine physique since I was on that medication.

I'm in my mid-twenties now, and struggling with a new diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis with Ankylosing Spondylitis. All of this causes severe pain in my lower back, and my ankles/heels. I have been taking methotrexate for almost 3 years to treat the psoriasis on my body. It works very well. I am also receiving infusions of a medicine called Remicade. This medicine disables my immune system to a point where my body will stop attacking itself, thus alleviating the pain/inflammation. We are hoping in the next 6 months to 1 year that the treatment will succeed well enough so I may exercise again.

I'm currently 6'3" and 320 lbs. Obviously, I need to lose weight. But, I've been teased about my "man boobs" ever since I was a kid. I wasn't horribly overweight as a teenager, yet I always had man boobs. Throughout my life I have gained weight, lost weight, gained muscle, lost muscle, and gained more weight. I have the stretch marks to prove it, unfortunately. No matter what I did, they have always been there. When I met my wife, I gave up. She loved me for who I was, and it didn't matter. So, I've ignored the problem for a long time. I have been focused on getting rid of my pain, instead of cosmetic issues. After all, I am married to a wonderful woman, and together we have had 2 amazing children. They are my pride and joy, without my family I would be completely lost. I have been with my wife for 7 years now, but I can honestly say I am not intimate without my shirt on. I don't go swimming either, that's out of the question. Even though it's probably the BEST exercise option for me because of my situation, I am HOPELESSLY TERRIFIED of anyone looking at me with a WET T-SHIRT on.

I am tired of living in fear, and being ashamed. I've learned to live with the embarrassment, but nothing hurts worse than not being able to do normal every-day things with your kids. I can't take my daughter to the pool because I'm too unhappy with my body. That's not fair to her. It really hurts when she points to my chest, while I'm wearing a shirt, and say's "Boobies!". Don't get me wrong: It's hilarious coming from a 2 year old, and I can't help but laugh. But deep down inside, it really hurts.

So, I'm looking for insight. I'm trying to work up the nerve to talk to my doctor about it. But it's easier to start with people I don't know personally. So here goes... is this related to gynecomastia or is it all due to excess weight gain?

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=17556.0

Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2009, 03:59:14 pm »
your post hit me hard. i am a 30 yr guy who hasn't even been with a woman because of my gynecomastia and other physical issues. count your blessings that you have a loving wife and family; i would kill for someone to look passed physical things, but it is truly hard to find. good luck, and you gynecomastia doesn't seem that bad and looks treatable with lipo even

Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2009, 06:12:14 pm »
I know how you feel man...but I wouldnt get too worked up about it. Looks like you just need to diet and exercise and you will see the chest shrink.

I lost 60lbs (from 280 down to todays 219), and My chest has gone down at least 2 "cup" sizes, and I am much more comfortable.

Dont stress about the chest issue until you are skinny with "man boobs"...it looks to be because you are about 100lbs overweight.

Get on that. start dieting. You will feel better, look better, have more confidence, energy. Nothing bad will come of it!

Offline Dave_8

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Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2009, 07:24:52 pm »
From what I see, it is from excess weight gain but also maybe, just maybe a little gland. LOoks like you can get rid of these with just lipo instead of excision.
If you have gyne, dont expect not be laughed at.

Just like if you walk into a locker room, you're gonna see some hairy asses and dicks.

Unfortunately for me, both have occured in my life way too many times.

Offline bling

Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2009, 12:39:08 am »
dude I feel u this shit makes me so mad dude I was so depressed I worked out for 3 hours and no difference so I was pissed of driving and wanted to hit something and kill myself it bothers me so much and the problem with me is I am 150 skinny kid all musclular but chest

Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2009, 01:10:29 am »
Doesn't look like you have a lot of gyne (as in gland), looks like mainly fat. Which is good news cause you can get surgery or just work it off.

I hope your medication works for you so you can start exercising. In the meantime try dieting. If you reduce your calorie intake to below your daily need, you will lose weight. Try talking to a nutritionist to work out a plan for you.

Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2009, 01:39:10 am »
Thanks to everyone for the replies. I am really motivated to diet and get past this once and for all.

Before, when I thought it was hopeless without surgery, I found it hard to stay motivated to diet and/or exercise. Now that I know it will get better without surgery I am very optimistic.

One of the problems I still have though is a fear of going to the gym and feeling insecure around people that are already fit. I'm thinking of joining the YMCA and maybe trying a compression shirt (like underworks) to help me feel a little more comfortable in the gym. I even see that they have a compression swimsuit. Maybe that will help.

Thanks again to everyone. I'm glad I found this site. Good luck to all.

Offline Dave_8

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Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2009, 02:17:11 am »
Im self concsious about working out as well at the Y but its good to wear a tight shirt underneath and a sweater, that way it helps conceal your gyne and help you sweat losing weight. Well good luck with working out and keep us posted on your improvements.

Re: Embarrased, Ashamed, Hopeless - What is wrong with me?
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2009, 06:40:06 pm »
wear multiple layers at the gym. wear a hooded sweatshirt. it will help you sweat, and conceal most of your body until you are down to a comfortable weight.

good luck

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