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28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2006, 04:10:15 PM »
"So, if girls think you're hot, and guys give you props, then what is the problem? "

I CANT WEAR TSHIRTS.  I CANT SWIM WITH THEM.  I CANT GO TO THE BEACH WITH THEM.  I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THEM that I so badly, badly want to do!

And if you ask why I can't do it, I'm gonna scream!  ARGH!!

You know exactly why, read my posts :(

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Offline Grandpa Bambu

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2006, 04:15:57 PM »
Quote
"So, if girls think you're hot, and guys give you props, then what is the problem? "

I CANT WEAR TSHIRTS.  I CANT SWIM WITH THEM.  I CANT GO TO THE BEACH WITH THEM.  I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THEM that I so badly, badly want to do!

You can wear t-shirts, you can swim with them, you can go to the beach with them, you can do anything with them. You just choose not to!

Why do you choose not to do those things? Cuz you're too embarrassed right? See, it's all about how you feel....

When I had my moobs, I could go out in public with just a t-shirt on. However, I chose not to, as I felt much too embarrassed to do so.

Johh.
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
Pre-Op/Post-Op Pics

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2006, 04:28:07 PM »
whatever

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2006, 04:29:16 PM »
IM EMBARASSED BECAUSE PEOPLE STARE AND LAUGH, GIRLS GIGGLE, ETC ETC.. GOD DAMN

JEEZUS CHRIST!!!!

I just feel like killing myself now.  darn it, I will.  I can't have a life and it's all me.  It's just a hang up, it's nothing that needs to be treated.  It's all me, all me.
;

bye

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2006, 04:35:14 PM »
why did you even have the damn surgery if you could function okay?

christ.  I just want to die.  I ruined my fucking life.  i shouldn't care about my breasts, etc,e tcasf asdfsadfl;

I give up.  i don't care anymore.  this will be my life until im dead.  I tried.  This is what my doctor will tell me, too.. that it's "all in my head"

whatever.  what the darn.  

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Offline Grandpa Bambu

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2006, 04:48:47 PM »
Dude....

You are twisting my words here....  :-/

It all comes down to if you are unhappy with the way you look, then do something about it man! You should know that from the weight you lost....

Don't wallow in self pitty....

I had the surgery to rid myself of the daily stress and psychological pain that is associated with Gynecomasita. I didn't 'funciton okay'. I made do with what I had. It was a living hell but I plodded along living life as best that I could. Had to. What other choice did I have? Well, I did have one other choice, but that was not an option for me....

John.

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Offline Preds

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vRe: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2006, 05:10:43 PM »
Dude,
Don't beat everybody up.  We all have same problems.  It is a psychological factor that held me back from taking off my shirt.  Even at my best friends house I would swim with a t shirt on.  My buddy would have accepted me all the same I know but I was so d--n embarrassed I could not.  I experienced the same teasing you did growing up but luckily I had a couple of real close friends that stood by me no matter what and luckily I was thinner back then and the gyne was not as bad.  

I say have the surgery!!!!!  I did.   I called for an appt.  It was hard especially when asked what is consult for.  It was tough to get out the word gynecomastia b/c I was so embarassed.  It was hard for me to discuss it with my wife and we have been together since 1989.  But I was fed up with it and decided I would rather be embarrassed to someone I did not know for a while so That I could have a better life.  I had surgery Dec. 19th and glad I did.  I look at my chest every day and think I wish I could have done this 20 years ago.  I want to go without my shirt off now but its a little cold.  lol.  Now I just need to lose some pounds although that does not bother me near as much as the gyne.  I even told my doctor he made a mistake during surgery and pushed some fat to my abdomen b/c now my belly looks twice as big.   :) :0

Anyway, calm down some and feel free to ask any questions and people on here will try and help you get what you want.  You will be able to goto the doctor with all the right info.  I did tons of research before I went and glad I did b/c there are several different tecniques and you want to make sure you get the right one for your condition.  Like someone said before, if not for the forum I am not sure I would have pursued the surgery.  Hell, I did not even know it was a condition(I call it a disease or afliction b/c of the way it has effected me) until I did a google for man breast.

Good luck and take your time.  Majority of us would love if you and many others can enjoy what surgery can bring you.  So far I am delighted and can't wait till warm weather.
Post surgery
Got my shirt off right now!!!!! lol

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2006, 06:46:18 PM »
Embarrassment will fade but regret will be with you for the rest of your life. So just realize that yes it’s going to make you uncomfortable to make the appointment and yes it’s going to make you uncomfortable to get the surgery but once it’s all done you will never have to think about it again. What’s worse being embarrassed two or three times, or just being embarrassed and from the sounds of things depressed and unhappy for the rest of your life.

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2006, 07:13:50 PM »
I will be the first guy to vote for you to get the surgery bursary fund if it ever get started.  For now my heart and pray goes out to you!
Free Documentary "Me vs. My Breast"
http://individual.utoronto.ca/charlesh/documentary

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Offline Spleen

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2006, 09:11:36 PM »
Ruined,

It looks like this issue has become way too dominant in your life.  While your chest may be a problem, how you *feel* about your chest and the choices you've made because of those feelings seem to be bigger.  Exercise, diet, surgery can all help but maybe it's time to seek some counseling to take charge of your feelings.

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2006, 10:28:08 PM »
I agree with Bambu, theres no law saying that people with Gyne cant take there shirts off.

I'm very umcomfortable going swimming, but I still do sometimes. Its not as fun as Id like it to be, but hell, you got to live your life the best you can.

Dont let this ruin life for you.

And if you applied to work somewhere, couldent you just wear a shirt under the uniform?  :-/

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Offline Paa_Paw

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #26 on: January 03, 2006, 11:25:40 PM »
Upon graduation from the police academy; The deputy Chief pinned the badge on my uniform, stood back, and said: "Now heres a lad that wears his badge proudly".  All present, myself included, had a good laugh. That was in 1964 and there was no choice but to make the best of a bad situation.

Now, there are choices that we older guys could not have even dreamed of back then.

Social pressures are essentially the same, but I think that body image has become more of an emotional issue than it was in the past.

I have seen some excellent material in this thread which leaves little for me to add. What is of the greatest importance is that you are now speaking out about your condition. Take the next step and see your doctor. If you think you might have trouble getting the words out, write a note briefly telling of your concern. When the Dr. asks why you're there, simply hand over the note and let the doctor take it from there. Once the door is opened, it gets much easier to re-open it.

Good Luck!
Grandpa Dan

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2006, 06:57:21 AM »
Quote
i have to go with a different form of advice here...

Yes, gyno is crippleing.  But it is a superficial condition.  IT has many psycholoogical components to it, but nonetheless.. it is still a superficial condition.  People like you suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.  Yes, you might have gyno.. But that does not make you some kind of freak...

Also i firmly believe people who get this worked about about gyno will eventually develope some other thing to get worked up over.

my advice.  Yes get surgery.  But also get psychological help.


Sorry but I have to take issue here, what you are saying is complete rubbish!!!!!!

First of all;

BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) like anorexia is about seeing something that other people do not.  It is where there is a gap between reality and the individuals own perception and thoughts of themselves.

Whereas if gynecomastia exists, particularly if it is significant; the individual is dealing with a very real physical/cosmetic issue.   Much the same way that other people have to deal with other cosmetic issues on the same level such as people who have very large noses or unsightly burns or facial injuries etc.

The point is the problem is real and the psychological issues resultant from the physical issue.  This is a world away from BDD.  So on that count you are just plain wrong.

Second of all I can say I have been greatly and negatively psychologically affected by significant gynecomastia quite late in life and I can say for an absolute fact that I never had any psychological issue with myself prior to the gynecomastia development.

Now it has been removed by surgery I will not start looking for problems now that it has been removed.

Again I say you are confusing BDD with genuine problems that result from gynecomastia and I think your assertion regarding psychology is to be quite frank far to black and white and is child like psychology.

It is psychobable, you are talking out of your hat and are not remotely qualified to make these assertions.

Last of all what is worth noting is this;

Prior to my significant development of gynecomastia at the age of 28, I was treated fairly well by the general public.  However after its development I noticed that I was treated quite poorly by differing groups of people.

This was not in my head or some daft perception but a very real fact.

Post op  (only at the three week mark) I have noticed already even at this stage that those same people have started to treat me considerably better.

Presumably as a result of a better impression that they now have of me.

So it should be noted that surgical removal of significant gynecomastia also can remove the predjudices that other people enforce upon sufferers.

All this said and done, I agree that a "up yours" attitude helps and certainly it helps to be "less sensitive" when living with gynecomastia.  

In fact for people who are less sensitive and naturally have this attitude, living with gynecomastia is very real option and one that may appeal to such people.

The importance here is not to jude, not to try and force people into going for surgery by implying they are odd for not wanting surgery and likewise not implying that those that decide to have surgery are somehow weak for taking such a decision.

In reference to how other people have their own predjudices.

Try and get work as a tennis coach with significant gynecomastia and see how many jocks knock you back and decide to go with another coach ont he basis of your appearance- see how much money that costs you.

See how much business you loose as a lawyer/business man who is laughed at by the boys on the gold course- where deals are made.

It is very easy to talk about gynecomastia as though the only person involved is the person that has it.  Unfortunately in life you deal with other peoples predjudices and perceptions as well.  

Of course the most important thing in dealing with gynecomastia is how the individual feels, but do not try to just brush off the issue I have raised either because that too can be quite important.

P.S

ruinedlife- you have to try and and enjoy/strive for the life you want one way or another.  On the one hand I feel for you as many here will do, but on the other hand you must not allow yourself to blame everything that doesn't work out on this issue- you have to try and make things work for you and not think things are just destined/bound to happen.

Whatever you choose to do and however you deal with your problems I wish you the best and hope that people here can help you.

Bets to ya.























Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2006, 07:54:22 AM »
ruined life doesn't need a plastic surgeon

he needs a psychiatric help

if he is being serious, he is 100% fucked up.

it's just breast tissue..

seriously if he didn' t have breasts i really doubt he would be a completely different person.  his issues would remain with him, no doubt.

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #29 on: January 04, 2006, 07:59:47 AM »
and you're quite wrong hypo.

body dysmorphic disorder is simple taking a flaw.. real or not and greatly exagerating it..

having breasts and being a male again is awkward, but it is a con dition many people suffer from.

people make fun of it on tv.

i'm sure everyone has come into contact with the condition, and it is nothing big to anyone.

this person, is without a doubt suffering from bdd.  HE has taking a condition.. yes gyno, and turned it into something where he feels he cannot function with.

people who suffer with bdd constantly try to hide whatever they hate about themselves... This guy never took his shirt off in front of anyone.  Even if he has the condition, i'm sure in his mind he thinks he is some kind of mutant or freak ..

which he is not.

point here is... simple

he feels his gyno makes him undesirable/incredibly ugly/a freak.  Which is not the case.  HE is suffering from BDD, pure and simple.


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