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28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #105 on: January 11, 2006, 09:11:42 AM »
i'm not sorry.

i don't see how gyno stops this guy from having a job at 20 something.

he just sounds like he is using gyno as an excuse to be a failure in life

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Offline kev

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #106 on: January 11, 2006, 09:54:36 AM »
Heartless, spiteful.




Bilateral Excision April 1994; Revision September 1999.

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Offline kev

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #107 on: January 12, 2006, 12:01:19 AM »
I was unemployed when I had bad gyne.

When it was removed I had the confidence to go out and get a great career going.

Gyne can be a reason for not having a good life, not an excuse.

But for the second time I swear off responding to you as I am now convinced that you are trolling.

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #108 on: January 12, 2006, 10:38:31 PM »
I see quite a few guys with quite serious cases of gyno with all kinds of  jobs. I do not think gyno on it's own is enough either.Ever seen some London cab drivers ;D

Unless you have a very bad case you can cover it up to a degree. Although I admit it is not ideal.

Gyno I think is more of an effect socially. going to the beach, swimming etc. As well as relationships.


Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #109 on: January 13, 2006, 12:46:15 AM »
I think the two of you above have too simplistic an outlook.

You are pigeon holing people and in doing so ignorantly passing judgment.

Some people are more sensitive to gynecomastia than others for a whole variety of reasons and also differing amounts of gynecomastia affect people in different ways.

E.g

Kev
Myself
ruinedlife

Are three people who have been affected from a job point of view, that is three of us in this one thread alone.

Now if you do not suffer in this way good for you, but A) stop passing judgment on people who are affected this way and B) stop trying to relate it to an incorrect diagnosis of BDD and C) maybe think about having a bit more compassion.


Just to really mess up your act of trying to put people in boxes I am going to highlight my case and that of Kevs once again for you two seeing how you don't pay much attention to what we have to say I'll put it in a big heading for you.


FECKING PAY ATTENTION TO THIS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Right I'll start with Kevs case.

From what Kev told me he was very sensitive regarding his gynecomastia and felt he could not get a job as it deeply affected him.

The point is, once he had this physical impediment removed he went out there with much gusto and got a job, got on with his life etc.

He said to me that it felt like being re-born.

Now that to me sounds like a huge psychological weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

This is only a small snippet from Kevs story as I understand it.  Kev would need to tell his story in his own words to do justice to his considerable torment and recovery from gyencomastia.


Now my situation (longer story as I  know it well ;)

I developed gynecomastia in stages.

I probably had three or four times more gynecomastia than people with what is termed minor gynecomastia from 16years old to 28 years old.  Now for me it didn't bother me when it was minor, or at least not enough to cause serious concern (that is just me, other maybe affected in different ways).

At 28 years old my gynecomastia developed in due to a hormone problem and became significant, so much so that it I could no longer wear shirts, let alone T-shirts without it being abundantly obvious.

The only thing that would conceal it were coats, very large shirts of certain materials and to a lesser extent certain fleece tops.

Now I hated/despised the look on peoples faces when they saw/noticed the physical appendage on me that is associated with women, it made me feel terrible.

For this reason I had to hide it in order to not feel terrible.  In the summer this meant trying to play tennis in heavy fleece tops in 90% heat and trying to brush away none stop questions as to why I was wearing what I was.  Forgetting how horrible it was to play in those conditions, the constant questions made me feel even worse.

So I gave up playing tennis in the summer.

I found it impossible to go out on most hot summer days that were so hot that you had to wear a T-shirt as the looks were too off-putting and upset me too much.

I also left a job prior to the summer because I had too wear a standard thin shirt for work and my gynecomastia was still developing and making me feel terrible.  I felt horrendous embarrassment goint to work every single day- it was psychologically very debilitating.

Now I have had the gynecomastia removed I am very happy with myself and my body- the problem is gone.

Just to put this into perspective.

How can I have BDD when- the gynecomastia was removed and now the psychological torment is gone?

How can I have BDD when I have scars from the surgery and the surgery is not perfect but I don't mind?

How can I have BDD when I have large scars from prior surgery from many years yearlier that have never bothered me?  

How can I have BDD when I am not remotely vain about my appearance?

How can I have BDD when am not particularly fashion conscious (not too bothered what cloths I am wearing as long as they are not too bad)?

How can I have BDD when I am not bothered about being over weight at the moment and do not go to gyms (though I will be a little happier when back to normal thanks to tennis in the summer)?

Answer I do not have BDD and nor does Kev.

We were psychologically affected by gynecomastia as detailed by the AACE (American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists quotes.

"Many men have psychological problems resulting from gynecomastia.  This should be taken seriously and discussed with the patient".

Quote two

"A breast reduction surgical procedure is often required for psychological well-being".

Right having got all that out of the way, I'd like to add something else.

People cope with differing problems in differing ways.

E.g

I had liver cancer at 16 and had two thirds of my liver removed in a 10 and a half hour operation and then had chemotherapy.  Only 12% of people survive the cancer I had.

I got over that as soon as I got back to full health and did not require any psychological support, I was happy to be healthy and just got out there and lived my life.

If you two or any one else here went through that can you honestly say you would cope as well?

I then had bladder cancer at 25.  One month after the operation to remove it I moved house, moved across the country and started a new high stress job.  Again I got on with things being glad to be well.

If you two or any one else here went through that can you honestly say you would cope as well either on its own or in combination with the above?

I have gone onto develop serious osteo problems including osteoporosis in my spine and osteochondritis in my playing arm (it finished a career I had as a tennis coach)- yet I still try to play tennis :o despite the arm problem and despite serious back problems.

I also deal with a hormone problem- hypogonadism.

The point I am making here is this.

People cope differently from each other, one person may cope well with one problem and not with another.

I coped with cancer better than gynecomastia.

Now that may seem absurd, but nevertheless it is true.


Of course one could kill me and the other could not, but I was just more able to deal cancer for whatever reason, just as I have been more able to cope with the osteo problems etc.

Now perhaps you two guys who are simplifying life can cope easily with gynecomastia and maybe you would be a psychological human wreck if you had cancer- who knows ::)

Moral of the story- do not be so quick to pass judgment on people!!!

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #110 on: January 13, 2006, 09:01:16 AM »
Hypo

a few points,

1 We are looking at gyno from our own personal experiences, so obviously on a thread such as this you are going to get different opinions on gyno and how it affects people. That just means some people will not agree with you. Does that make their opinon any less valid? Telling people to 'fecking pay attention' because they do not agree with you is frankly immature. Since when were you the 'Daddy of the site?' ;D

2 I feel you are pigeonholing both myself and 'juice' . How do you know how gyno affected us do you know us in real life? I spent six months not leaving my house when I was first diagnosed with gyno. Itwas only when I was told I would have to wait another year to have an nhs op for it that I moved. I did not want to wait another year avoiding people because of gyno. I decided to take action myself and get fit even though I was told I would never be able to really improve my chest by a PS despite getting off the med that caused my gyno.
        Despite BDD which did not help , at all. I left my house and started to get fit , I could not afford to go to a posh gym with treadmills and I had to run in public with my breasts jiggling around. I got laughed at.And at the gym I could afford I got looks.Eventually my body including my chest changed and so did peoples attitude.And although initially I reacted badly Iam now happy to be told by the same PS that I no longer need a gyno op. So I understand  'kev' saying he feels reborn. I felt disgusted when I got gyno so no I did not cope with gyno easily . But as I had no cash for a private PS I had no choice but to do it this way. To me someone not working all due to gyno is odd due to my own experience just like you feel I am 'ignorant'.

3 I have never implied in any of my posts that you or anyone else had BDD. Just because someone does not feel comfortable leaving their house due to gyno does not mean they have BDD. In fact in one of my posts I said I would never claimed ruined life had BDD as I was not a psychiatrist.

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Offline kev

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #111 on: January 13, 2006, 09:37:00 AM »
I guess the lesson is: we all have different experiences and reactions to gyne.  And it ain't just your cup size: it's the way you are treated, your personality, etc.

I am just amazed at how people are in a rush diagose and categorise others, e.g. have/have not BDD, have/have not other problems beside gyne because what that person is saying does not fit with my experience, have an eating disorder, etc.

Gyne causes different problems for different folks.

Let's live and let live  ;D

kev

>>>the juice: it was very bad gyno, it took a 5+ hour op and the PS said it was the worst he had ever seen.  I was in hospital for 10 days after it with IV morphine and everything.

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Offline ruinedlifenew

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #112 on: January 13, 2006, 03:50:05 PM »
Yowza, I can't believe this thread is still active.

I wrote a long, detailed response but then I figured, what's the point?  This comes down to whether or not you choose to believe what I have already said or not.  You work right now, I don't, no big deal.  I have absolutely no worries about my future now that surgery is but a stones throw away.  :)

As for me being a "failure in life"...  I don't consider myself a failure in the least.  If you care to judge a man's character based on his career or lack thereof, you'd be sadly misguided.

I'll end my participation in this thread with a simple expression....

No man is a failure who has friends.

Later all =)

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #113 on: January 13, 2006, 04:36:17 PM »
As for not having a job I hear ya.

Today I just ordered a Underworks Gynecomastia Shirt. So now I'm going to go apply to whereever I want.

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Offline ruinedlifenew

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #114 on: January 13, 2006, 04:40:36 PM »
Quote
As for not having a job I hear ya.

Today I just ordered a Underworks Gynecomastia Shirt. So now I'm going to go apply to whereever I want.


Whoa, Allen!!  Where did you order this "gynecomastia shirt"?  Could you provide a URL?

Thanks!!!!!

edit: I found the site.  What model shirt did you buy??

edit: Is this it -->  http://www.underworks.com/997.html

Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #115 on: January 13, 2006, 04:44:39 PM »
http://www.gynecomastia.underworks.com/

I ordered style 997 this morning.

I just wonder how long it will take to arrive  :(

Either way it should be a good temporary solution until I book my surgery.

Good Luck

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Offline ruinedlifenew

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Re: 28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno
« Reply #116 on: January 13, 2006, 04:47:32 PM »
Nice, Allen!   Let us know how that works out!!  That sounds like an amazing temporary solution before surgery.


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