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I'm glad I'm not alone

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I'm glad I'm not alone
« on: October 22, 2019, 06:16:39 PM »
Lets try this again in the modify mode so I can save this. I was using the edit option in the bottom corner and tried to save my 30 minute write up with no sucess.!

I have had gyno since 15. I've always been heavy set, but didn't really put on a lot of weight until the last 10 years. Im 6'2, 360lbs. Carried my weight well at 260, ideal weight would be 240 after surgery. The BMI index doesn't work on my body type, it says I should be like 180lbs. I would be skin and bones. Not the look I'm going for, lol.

I've been self conscious of my gyno since getting bullied for it in high school. It has haunted me every day since, and now I'm 38!. I have hid under baggy shirts, only wear button up shirts, use compression vests, and all around avoiding anything that might involve me taking off my shirt. I dont swim, dont go in the hot tub, which has caused me to miss out on a lot of fun times.

I have never had to much trouble getting girlfriends or dating. I am very confident in every other area of my life. Which women are attracted to, but I would never take my shirt off during sex. Forget about showering together. Until my wife, she was very accepting and I feel never judged me. Her and my 3 kids are the only people I will take my shirt off in front of.

She recently asked for a divorce, causing me to analyze why she would want to split. It wasn't hard for me to trace back my lack of trying, hiding, and just all around avoidance, to my insecurities about gyno.

I am very intuitive and people are ruthless with their stares and jokes they think I dont know that I'm the butt of. I'm a big biker looking guy so no one says anything to my face. There is no mistake about how people still see and treat men with gyno, it's terrible. If people did that because of race or sexuality today, they would be shamed. But everyone wants to get in on the joke about the dude with the boobs.

I've tried just about everything besides surgery, and that's just because I cant afford it. I stopped trying to loose wieght because that just makes it worse. I've lost 50lbs 3 different times. It only made it way more noticable. I have been on trt, it only made it worse in the long run. The muscles didn't last that long, and out of fear of the gyno getting worse I've stopped taking it. That seriously affected my sex life.

I had a consultation with <a class="underlinelink" href="https://www.gynecomastia.org/doctors/josephcruise/profile">Dr. Cruise[/url], he rated me a class 6 and 14k to do the surgery. I had a consultation with <a class="underlinelink" href="https://www.gynecomastia.org/doctors/migueldelgado/profile">Dr Delgado[/url] and he wants 18k. I also had a consult with a Dr in Tijuana, I forget his name but he even wanted like 12k. I've decided that saving a buck isnt worth it in the long run and will be going with someone here with ample experience. I decided about 9 months ago that the surgery needs to happen. Ive been repairing and building my credit. I was denied care credit, and I was only approved for 9k from alpheon. Did anyone discover the magical funding source that solves all our problems? Lol. I'm not asking for money, but maybe an option I haven't thought of, or maybe even a quality Dr that provides in house financing....? I'm half way, and will be scheduling the procedure as soon as the rest is covered. I dont care how at this point, I am ready to live my life to the fullest.

I have missed out on time with my kids, work opportunities, friendships, intimacy, let my health suffer, so many experiences and time lost.

I am so glad I found this site, it is the first time I can let this out. I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing these things and I am inspired by your struggles and successes.

Question to those who have the surgery who have had severe gyno and perhaps severe body dysmorphia, does it get better? Does the self consciousness go away? Do you feel normal, nobody stares anymore? What have you done with that freedom? How liberating was it?

Thanks for letting me rant, ttyl

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=35466.0

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