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Still can't tell my mom...

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Still can't tell my mom...
« on: March 25, 2008, 08:33:11 PM »
I really need to tell my mom about my gynecomastia so that I can go for surgery but I just can't make myself do it.  I'm almost 22, I've had it since I was 13, I've missed out on so much because of it, but I just can't tell anyone about it.  It is just so embarrassing and emasculating.  I've been telling myself for YEARS now that I need to tell her about it, and that I will the next time I see her (I'm in college) but I just CAN'T seem to do it!  It's like there's a mental block there after hiding it for so long. 

Was anyone else in this situation?




Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=13460.0

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2008, 03:46:24 AM »
i was in your same situation, i finally realized that if i wanted to move on. i had to do  it. so i manned up and did it, it was a great step to overcome. just do it and you'll know and you will gain that must way toward acheiving surgery.

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2008, 02:58:46 AM »
hey same here, i cant bring myself to tell parents that i want to to somethin about it. pointed it out to mum once and she said it looks like heaps of other blokes. my family i big cept for me. They would think i had mental issues if i mentioned surgery. Iam 22 as well and have just booked a consultation with a PS who has done these before to see what my options are. had it since i was about 12 and it put a stop to my swimming at carnivals from bout 14 on. Iam at college as well and think i will just bite the bullet and just do it without them ever knowing (only cause i saved the $).  :)

Good Luck mate, would prob be best to tell em but, let us know how you go cause i might change my mind.


Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2008, 03:13:12 AM »
although in all reality im sure my parents and anyone elses would understand, its not our fault that we got them and it is ultimately your decision what to do about them. The mental block thing is strong and i know where you are coming from

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2008, 04:35:06 AM »
^ Congratulations.

I am just having an impossible time trying to bring it up with her.  I'm not sure why I feel so embarrassed about it.  I think it is just because I've been hiding it from people and thinking about it so much for almost 9 years now that it's just become impossible for me to talk about with anyone except anonymously online.

I know she will feel sad that I've been hiding it for so long and have been so depressed about it and I feel bad asking her for the money also.  I don't really have any money, I have about $3,000 in my bank account and that's it.  I'm in college and have to pay for rent and books and etc.  I know she would help me pay for it if I told her about it, she doesn't have a lot of money though and is always talking about how she needs to save more money with the economy going downhill and everything.

I don't know what to do.  I really want the gynecomastia gone, more than anything, but I just CAN'T talk about it with anyone!  It is so frustrating!  For you guys who have told your parents about it and asked them to help you pay for the surgery, do you have any advice on what I should say to her?

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Offline Paa_Paw

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Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2008, 12:22:07 AM »
When I was 12 years old, My Mother teased that "If the get any bigger I'll need to buy you a Bra".

The subject, she realized, was hurtful but the words could not be recalled.

Never again did she put me on the spot in that way, Never again was I to be seen without a shirt on. Neither of us knew how to open any discussion on the subject. We tacitly agreed to pretend that the subject did not exist.

That pretense broke down almost 40 years later when i was talking about the condition in my sons and I wanted to know if it ran in the family. Apparently it does.

Sometimes if you have difficulty speaking with a parent, A Grandparent is even better.
Grandpa Dan

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2008, 11:36:42 PM »
Jesus Paa_Paw, that must have been ****ing traumatizing.

Unfortunately all my grandparents are gone.  The only person I could ever even see myself bringing this up with is my mom and I can't make myself do it.  No one in my family knows I have it, or at least they've never brought it up, but I'm pretty sure they've never noticed because I've gotten so good at hiding it. 

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2008, 10:20:40 PM »
I feel the same so alone and can't tell anyone!!!
"I can Do ALL Things Through him who Strengthens Me"

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2008, 04:41:08 AM »
is it really necessary to tell them?
cant v go to doctor and have Gyne done ???

**Surgery done @ Appollo chennai**
Surgeon : Dr K Ramachandran

Surgery exp : http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=15201.0
Pics : http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=15513.0
**Pretty happy with the results...**
"All you need is to be mentally strong with enough financial support...get them off"

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2008, 12:50:15 AM »
I can't afford the surgery... I'm a broke college student, I have like $500 in my bank account right now.

Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2008, 03:20:22 PM »
Listen, Kerpal, You need to get this out in the open. I know its hard. I just turned 23. I've had gyne for about 9 years. No need to explain what I go through on a daily basis. No need to explain what I've missed out on all these years. I'd be preaching to the choir. I just told my family about my gyne this past winter. Its very hard to do, and i couldn't do it in person. I wrote them all an email. I let it all out. I told them not to call me after reading the letter as I wouldn't be able to talk about it without typing just yet. TRUST ME. JUST TELL YOUR MOM. The 'demon' loses a lot of its power once its uncovered. Sure, I still think about it, and still have the same restrictions, but I've gotten better with it. And my dad agreed to co-sign a loan to get my surgery. I'm scheduled to go under the knife on July 3rd!! I'm so damn excited!! If you need help writing a letter to your mom - I can help, i'll send you the one i sent to my parents :) I don't care. You need to defeat your gyne. Your first step is getting it out in the open. Good luck man.

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Offline MSJ108

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Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2008, 05:18:54 PM »
I can't afford the surgery... I'm a broke college student, I have like $500 in my bank account right now.

You don't have to tell her. You are a grow man. Go the doc and finance the surgery.

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Offline Paa_Paw

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Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2008, 12:12:55 PM »
If we really think about it, there is someone that we can talk to.

It may be a grandparent, Uncle, Aunt, or other relative. But there is someone that we can speak to candidly. Think about it seriously then go to that person and have a good talk.

Don't think for a minute that it is impossible,  You open up here, why not with someone who is more in a position to be of direct help?

We are not really odd at all. Many look at the figures and conclude that gynecomastia is statistically normal.

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Offline MSJ108

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Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2008, 03:30:18 AM »
If we really think about it, there is someone that we can talk to.

It may be a grandparent, Uncle, Aunt, or other relative. But there is someone that we can speak to candidly. Think about it seriously then go to that person and have a good talk.

Don't think for a minute that it is impossible,  You open up here, why not with someone who is more in a position to be of direct help?

We are not really odd at all. Many look at the figures and conclude that gynecomastia is statistically normal.

good posting

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Offline Grandpa Bambu

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Re: Still can't tell my mom...
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2008, 03:01:55 PM »
I just told my family about my gyne this past winter. Its very hard to do, and i couldn't do it in person. I wrote them all an email. I let it all out.

You are right PhillyPUFF, an email/reg. letter is the easiest way to do it.

I have yet to tell my M&D. Probably never will either. As I was 41 and working at the time of my surgery, I could afford to pay for the procedure myself. Didn't have to get my parents involved. I would have liked to let them know what I had done, but as with most, it would be far too embarrassing. :-\

GB
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
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