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To bra, or not to bra

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Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2019, 09:08:49 AM »
Johndoe is absolutely right when he said the bra makes the top and the top makes the bra. In other words, through trial and error, you have see what works for you. I would suggest,  as the name suggests that you start with the foundation garments first, meaning the bra. Once you find a bra that fits and gives you the shape that works best for you and your girls, then you can concentrate on a top that fits you and will accommodate the girls. 

I wear underwire bras exclusively outside of my home. I prefer the shape and support. An underwire bra is worth the time and effort to get one that fits comfortably. Warmer months, I wear lace cups because they are cooler and less boob sweat. The cooler months I'll be wearing a molded cup bra because my nipples are sensitive to the cold and I'm usually on high beams and the molded cups reduce nipple protrusion. In the sub category of underwire bras, I usually stick to balconette or full coverage bras, depending on my top that I wear with it.

The top can be a challenge as well. I'm a 3 38H in most of my bras. Men's shirts don't work well for me. I usually shop Torrid and Lane Bryant or Woman Within for my button down blouses that have tops that fit the more well endowed women. 

It.can be a little difficult at first, but don't be afraid to ask an SA for help. Buying and wearing women's clothing is not the end of the world or masculinity.  You're only wearing clothes that fit. Also if you're hips and bottom start developing as well, all of the above stores can will be able to get you in something that fits your lower half as well.
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2019, 10:01:27 AM »
I'll keep that info in mind, if it comes to that.  Coming here has actually helped with more than just advice, I finally managed to start cycling.  So bearing in mind that the planned weight loss (currently 71kg, before I got my license and got lazy I was 63) will likely make my breasts more prominent, I might end up having to go that route.

Also, I've actually started to wonder about that last bit, but it might just be my imagination.  My knees are bent in, so that might affect things, but it does look to me like I might have some degree of widening.  I still manage with mens clothes though.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2019, 12:42:55 PM »
It got to the point with me 8n my early 20s that even the mens loose or relaxed pants weren't working for me. I ended up with a terrible looking cinched waist. That's when I started wearing women's pants. To be honest,  besides the fit, the material uses for women's jeans and slacks is much better suited. They are generally stretchy.and give me more flexibility. The material is also generally lighter which is great for the summer months. In the winter, I can always layer with leggings or my compression pantyhose that I wear for my varicose veins. 

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #18 on: August 19, 2019, 04:49:06 PM »
The "Dangerous Network " message is caused by cookies not being fully enabled.   I went through several weeks of not being able to post after I changed my security settings regarding cookies.  It took me awhile to make the correlation because I made the change on one device (phone) but it carried across all my devices and various browsers. 

Most of the year I can get choose to either wear a bra or not.  I can fill a 38C but I don't have a lot of projection or sag so without a bra they just look like flabby pecs.  With that being said I do find that wearing a bra feels better in general.  However when the weather turns cold the nipple pain can be excruciating without even moving.  With a little movement causing chafing and the occasional nipple scrape on any random object I would argue that it's on par with being kick in the family jewels.   So in the winter I usually end up wearing a padded sports bra to keep the girls toasty warm.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2019, 05:06:39 PM »
In my case the "dangerous network" issue was magically fixed when I stayed as far from the site as possible for about 24 days or something.  No other changes.  I actually pretty much gave up, and just gave it one last try.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2019, 06:15:30 PM »
While underwires shape the breast more in a feminine shape, the support, containment and comfort outweighs the look.
I definitely agree with you, but my breasts are really obvious in an underwire unless I'm wearing a loose, baggy top or layers. Not ideal for hot weather.

Depending on the style of bra and the top, I have found that I can control the look of my breasts, a tactic women use all the time. As most men, I had (incorrectly) assumed that women's breasts were always on display, because that is what breasts do, right? No so. If you pay attention, most women, in non formal or semi formal situations or casual or relaxed situations, wear tops that do not show off the contours of the breast. There may be two bumps that are visible, but you don't see the contour of the breasts as you would in a dress or form fitting top that a woman would wear in a work environment or in a more formal situation that is meant to draw attention to the chest. Once I realized that and saw what they were wearing for the look, I started to convert that look into what will work for a man and I was amazed at the results.
What exactly do you mean by this? I would love to have the support of an underwire without having a big obvious feminine-looking bust, but I can't seem to pull it off.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #21 on: August 19, 2019, 06:30:08 PM »
I think he is saying that match the style of bra you are wearing to match the top, you can make them less noticeable. I am still a work in progress with this, but getting there. I have pretty much came to accept that if you look close enough, your going to see them. So I just try to reduce what there is to see

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #22 on: August 20, 2019, 08:20:11 AM »
If you go to a store like Torrid or Lane Bryant and tell the ladies there what you are trying to achieve with the bra that you want to wear, they will definitely have some great options or ideas to achieve the look you want.  I bought most of my blouses based on their suggestions. 

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #23 on: August 20, 2019, 10:30:54 AM »

Depending on the style of bra and the top, I have found that I can control the look of my breasts, a tactic women use all the time. As most men, I had (incorrectly) assumed that women's breasts were always on display, because that is what breasts do, right? No so. If you pay attention, most women, in non formal or semi formal situations or casual or relaxed situations, wear tops that do not show off the contours of the breast. There may be two bumps that are visible, but you don't see the contour of the breasts as you would in a dress or form fitting top that a woman would wear in a work environment or in a more formal situation that is meant to draw attention to the chest. Once I realized that and saw what they were wearing for the look, I started to convert that look into what will work for a man and I was amazed at the results.
What exactly do you mean by this? I would love to have the support of an underwire without having a big obvious feminine-looking bust, but I can't seem to pull it off.
You have all styles of bras like underwire, soft cup, minimizers, bralettes, unlined, molded cup, stitched (also known as cut and sew), tee shirt, plunge, full coverage, demi, side support, bottom support, wide gore, narrow gore, push up, tall wires, short wires, sports bras and their variants. All can shape/project the breasts in certain ways. Women's clothes demand all different styles of bras to shape the breast to a specific look depending on the top/dress that the woman wants to wear. We can use this to our advantage as well. One would think that if you wear an oversized shirt, problem solved. But actually, you are drawing attention to yourself because now your top is too large and it looks out of proportion to the rest of your body.

If you have breasts that that look more than pecs, you can't totally hide them. You have to find a way to disguise/camouflage them. Women do this all the time. How many times do you see a woman and you can't remember anything about her breasts? She has breasts, right? You didn't notice them. Your eye was never drawn to her chest due to the way she was wearing her clothes. This works the same way for us. Just this morning, I had to go to the doctor. She knows about my gynecomastia. We discussed it, as usual. She asked me if I was wearing a bra. I said I was, and she said that she hadn't noticed before I set down and couldn't really tell without looking closely and even then she wasn't sure. She asked me had increased in size because the way I was dressed, she couldn't tell. She congratulated me on getting the support I needed without looking like a guy in drag. I think she was impressed! So, yes, it possible to tone things down.

Myself, I will wear non-fitted tops, button downs and polos. The polos are usually one size larger than I wear, but you have to be careful not to get the too big look. I will get tops in dark solid colors (NOT WHITE! or white variants, it's like wearing a neon sign advertising your bra/breasts!) and muted patterns to confuse the eyes, BUT NOT STRIPES! Stripes will outline your curves. That is why women don't wear stripes because it adds the illusion of weight to their bodies. I usually wear a form fitting woman's layering tank underneath because a man's undershirt is too warm when wearing a bra and is too bulky under a polo, where the woman's layering tank is made to smooth out the look without being bulky or warm. When it comes to tee shirts, I will wear either one or two sizes larger, depending on the cut, but around the house, I will wear my regular size and let the girls "come out to play" but if I leave the house, I will either add a layer on top or will put on a different top depending the situation and weather.

Something that bothers me is since men's shirts do not have any room in the chest for breasts, the cloth will pull down on the breasts and be uncomfortable. This will cause me to slump to compensate for the discomfort and not only messes up my posture, which can screw up my back, but will also draw attention to me since slumping or slouching is not a normal posture so I have to be careful how I gather the front of the shirt to give enough room for the girls, but not to show them off. It's a fine line.

These are all things I learned from female friends or from observing women in the wild.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #24 on: August 20, 2019, 10:45:08 AM »
One thing I hate with some shirts is strained buttons.  As you said, men's shirts don't have any room up front (the back has lots of room to accomodate for arm movement).  And it even bugs me, so I can see how those of you with larger breasts end up needing women's clothes.  I wonder how it must look for other people if I stand there, with strained buttons up top, but lower down is decently loose (happens if my arms are not either in front, or hanging by my sides).

And speaking of stripes, how would you rate the severity of horizontal/vertical stripes?  Some of my shirts do have vertical stripes (as you all know, it's not so uncommon for us), but I've found printed letters on a tshirt to be problematic.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #25 on: August 20, 2019, 10:46:24 AM »
As I said earlier, I'm not currently really putting effort into hiding them.  But at the same time I'm not flaunting them.  So far it was just business as usual.
Meant to edit my post, but it seems I ended up quoting.  Editing out the duplicate part.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #26 on: August 20, 2019, 11:47:55 AM »
And speaking of stripes, how would you rate the severity of horizontal/vertical stripes?  Some of my shirts do have vertical stripes (as you all know, it's not so uncommon for us), but I've found printed letters on a tshirt to be problematic.
Personally I avoid them completely. The vertical stripes will come down the front and will outline the bust. Horizontals will emphasis the size, which is why women will wear horizontal stripes to give the appearance of a larger bust, while vertical stripes shows volume, like in women's hips and they will not wear them. If they wear vertical stripes, usually it is small small woman to give them some apparent size or oversized with a vest or jacket so they don't look "fat". It's the color difference between the stripes that draw attention to the stripes and to the chest in the process. If I were a woman and wanted to draw attention to my chest, I would probably live in stripes. But I don't need ANY look to make me look larger in the chest. I am big enough! I think it is a personal choice and is something that you need to try and see what it looks like and whether it works for you. That is why patterns and dark solids are recommended as a base since the eye has a hard time discerning what the true shape and size is. If you can get away with a rugby shirt, more power to you. I can't can't. This shirt would make a flat guys chest look large!



Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #27 on: August 20, 2019, 12:29:03 PM »
I take it then that checkered shirts are also best avoided...

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #28 on: August 20, 2019, 12:50:04 PM »
I take it then that checkered shirts are also best avoided...
Depends on how tight the pattern is. Again, trial and error. If the pattern confuses the eyes, then it is a good pattern.

Re: To bra, or not to bra
« Reply #29 on: August 20, 2019, 01:42:59 PM »
I'm mainly referring to the ones that have larger squares.  As that's pretty much a staple for me.

But I suppose I should try some different styles that I already have, and pay attention to how each style affects my appearance.