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The Board

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The Board
« on: June 19, 2019, 10:55:10 PM »
I have lurked here off and on for awhile now and noticed something after reading a lot of the threads from 2005 to the present.  The tone of the board has changed considerably.   In the beginning when many of the posters said they accepted their breasts and simply wore a bra they were scoffed at much of the time even though this is an acceptance board.  Now fourteen years later when men post here looking for advice or to talk about their experiences they are met with supportive comments, practical advice and understanding.  This is especially important to the younger men here that sometimes don't yet have the life experience cope.  Thank you to all those who share and make this great place.  You make more of a difference than you know.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=35366.0

Re: The Board
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2019, 07:44:35 AM »
I have noticed that too. Several old posts from the 2000's have been resurrected recently and when you go back through the thread, you can see that change you talk about.

I know that a surgeon(s) own the board now, and understandably their focus is on creating patients, but they seem to be accepting or at least tolerant with those of use who have chosen to live with developed chests and use this as a common community of acceptance. I didn't know until very recently the board was started by a gynecomastia sufferer but then sold the board to the surgeon(s) around 2010. Not sure why he sold the board, but it may have been due to the negativism that was very prevalent on the board at the time.

Best I can tell, most if not all the men on here who accept their breasts did not ask to have breasts and they developed either naturally due to hormones at puberty (like me) or through medication later in life and many of us have no support group to bounce questions and concerns off of. Personally, I would rather not have breasts, but I also do not care for surgery either just for appearance sake. I am vein, but not THAT vein. Everyone is different on their reasonings pro or con about their breasts and that is fine by me. I just chose to not go under the knife and that should be no ones business but my own like it is no ones business if a woman has breast augmentation or not, but that isn't the way it works. And since I don't want to have deal with the surgery, cost, discomfort and pain at times (and possible reoccurance of it), then I have to deal with my breasts in some fashion in the here and now. How do I do that? After many, many years of debate, wondering and no action at all, I have chosen to deal with them in a similar manner as women do through physical support using support garments, including bras because that seems to be a prudent choice if you have breasts. Women are the experts when it comes to breasts. They have been dealing with them forever and they do just fine with them. Why can't I just because i don't have a vagina? Why should my breasts be a bigger deal than a cis-womans? A boob is a boob is a boob, no matter who's chest it is on. How do you deal with that? The biggest problem is the stigma that goes along with breasts and bras, period. I have learned that women also deal with many of the same societal issues about breasts as we do, just from the opposite angle. In their case, society expects them to have a certain size and look to their breasts and expects bras to be a major player in that look, and are highly scrutinized about it and they are very well aware of that scrutiny and they hate the scrutiny as much if not more than we do. I am not trying to be a woman nor act like a woman. I am a man that happens to have a developed chest due to biological reasons that I have no control over. I have decided to deal with them in a similar manner to women. That doesn't make me any less of a man than it makes a woman any less of a woman because she has no breasts or underdeveloped breasts. In either case, society comes unglued because it isn't the norm. It isn't that WE are broken, but society is broken. We fix that and we fix our chest problems for both sexes in one fell swoop. It is interesting that when many of the very few women (it is a very small number, most find out by chance) who directly find out that I have gynecomastia become apologetic that I have to "suffer with breasts" (their words over and over) as they do. I find that wording interesting since breast development is a rite of passage of a woman and something many look forward to in the teens, but it sounds like many see it as a life prison sentence even though it is one of the main definitions of a woman and how she interacts with men.

Sorry to be on soup box, but I am beyond pissed off having to deny having something on my body that is plain as the day is long. Maybe one day.

Re: The Board
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2019, 02:51:47 PM »
 Great observation. And I agree with you 100%. We could do better still, though.  Thanks again

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Re: The Board
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2019, 07:21:51 AM »
Johndoe1, you have said a mouthful and then some, but I also totally agree as well!

I really think that part of the problem is people have sexualize breast to much and in reality they are for feeding our offspring! That is why people have issues with mothers breast feeding in public! My wife breast feed our daughters, my daughter breast feed her kids and our family members had no problems with where the feedings were done!

As you said, a boob is a boob is a boob, and the thing is, we all have them men and women have breast tissue! We are all born with it, it is just a matter of how much development do each of us have?

There's my input on the matter.

Bob

Re: The Board
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2019, 09:34:55 AM »
I think you are right Bob. All this sexualization of the breast has made it hard for women and those of us males who are endowed as well. I used to be scared and frightened what others thought about my chest and some through the years have done more than hurl verbal barbs and sadly a decent number have been women as well.

So if I sound a little militant about it, I am to the point of being tired of being the victim and denying what is obviously in plain sight. I am tired of being intimidated and afraid because of my own body. Do I want breasts? No. I don't. But I have breasts so why not be as comfortable as I can and embrace what I have. I have learned it doesn't change who I am. It has just taken most of my life to figure out who,  not what, I am. I am a guy with boobs. End of story. People need to get over it. Easier said than done, but I am learning how to do it. 

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Re: The Board
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2019, 08:32:22 PM »
I think you are right Bob. All this sexualization of the breast has made it hard for women and those of us males who are endowed as well. I used to be scared and frightened what others thought about my chest and some through the years have done more than hurl verbal barbs and sadly a decent number have been women as well.

So if I sound a little militant about it, I am to the point of being tired of being the victim and denying what is obviously in plain sight. I am tired of being intimidated and afraid because of my own body. Do I want breasts? No. I don't. But I have breasts so why not be as comfortable as I can and embrace what I have. I have learned it doesn't change who I am. It has just taken most of my life to figure out who,  not what, I am. I am a guy with boobs. End of story. People need to get over it. Easier said than done, but I am learning how to do it.
Johndoe1, I don't remember our age difference right now, but I think we are close in age. I also grew up with enlargement, but I never let it get to me. I was a very focused kid! I was always busy with building things. I was 11 when I built my first mini bike from scratch all on my own! I was either building with metal or wood. Dad wanted me to be a tool and die maker, but I spent my summers on my uncle's farm so I loved the outdoors and being in a building just wasn't going to work for me. My dad was a mechanical engineer in the plastics industry and was very involved with the projects like development of the first Hilex bleach bottles when they went from glass to plastic.

I guess being I spent all my time on the farm no one here in the city was about to give me any shit about having boobs being i was the strongest kid on the wrestling team, lol.

At 61 I've been though a lot not to mention losing a son who was just 6 years old! When you go through the crap that I have, seen the shit that I have as a veteran,  been where I have, having enlarged breast  is such a small thing, not much more to really get putting a dent in my Silverado,  but I can do my own vehicle bodywork, I can't do my own surgery, but I wouldn't spend a buck on breast reduction anyway! As I said, its nothing to worry about!


Have a fantastic weekend!

Bob

Re: The Board
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2019, 08:38:42 AM »
Johndoe1, I don't remember our age difference right now, but I think we are close in age. I also grew up with enlargement, but I never let it get to me. I was a very focused kid! I was always busy with building things. I was 11 when I built my first mini bike from scratch all on my own! I was either building with metal or wood. Dad wanted me to be a tool and die maker, but I spent my summers on my uncle's farm so I loved the outdoors and being in a building just wasn't going to work for me. My dad was a mechanical engineer in the plastics industry and was very involved with the projects like development of the first Hilex bleach bottles when they went from glass to plastic.

I guess being I spent all my time on the farm no one here in the city was about to give me any shit about having boobs being i was the strongest kid on the wrestling team, lol.

At 61 I've been though a lot not to mention losing a son who was just 6 years old! When you go through the crap that I have, seen the shit that I have as a veteran,  been where I have, having enlarged breast  is such a small thing, not much more to really get putting a dent in my Silverado,  but I can do my own vehicle bodywork, I can't do my own surgery, but I wouldn't spend a buck on breast reduction anyway! As I said, its nothing to worry about!


Have a fantastic weekend!

Bob
We are within two years of age. I grew up in a suburban environment where groups and cliques were the norm. Everyone had to be "in". My breasts made that difficult. I did have a girl or two offer their bras to me in school as a joke with one going as far as to take hers off and try to hand it to me in a group of boys and girls. I am now look back and wonder why they didn't try and force it on my body. That was certainly that cliques style at the time. I became a electronics nerd because of the harassing. I was never very athletic. Still not. I was also never very "girly" in physical statue either. But looking back on it, I did have a few subtle physical markers that would subconsciously peg me as "female", breasts being the obvious one. Others being somewhat shapely legs and a fuller than usual butt for a guy, but not to female size and a somewhat smaller than usual waist, I am apple/pear shaped, and a higher than usual voice for a male (I was just called ma'am yesterday over a drive in speaker box, so that hasn't changed) but otherwise appeared masculine. I was basically an environment rich target. So I got screwed up early and it continued into adulthood. As late as 5 years ago, a female coworker, who no longer is, thought she could make some unwanted physical contact with my chest. Don't get me wrong, like any red blooded guy I LOVE female tactile attention, but not like this. It was intended to embarrass me and to physically cause pain to my breasts. I have had several women (along with men) through the years do things like this. But that was not the first attack at work. I had a male supervisor verbally attack me making rude comments about my perceived bra size during a department meeting in my late 20's long before I started wearing a bra. I probably should have heeded the message and started wearing one but I was too proud and not a "sissy." Male ego hard at work.

It has only been in the last few years since the last attack that I have said enough. I had just taken it for too long and that kinda was the straw that broke the camels back. With the weight loss on top of it, I have had to come to terms with it and I have had enough. I just want to live a normal, physically comfortable life where no one or thing gives a sh*t about my chest and I am willing to stand up when challenged now, something I wasn't willing to do before. Leave me alone and I will leave you alone. And that is where I am at these days. Trying to navigate those waters, and it is easier said than done, that is for sure!

Re: The Board
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2019, 12:18:00 PM »
 I can relate to being felt up,  although as an adult, it was always more subtle and joking, whereas, as a teenager it was overt and teasing. 

 I have had girls and women suggest I need to wear a bra  and offer for me to try their’s.   As an adult, these suggestions have been more constructive, including offers to measure me or help me buy myself a bra.  Again, as a teenager, not necessarily helpful. 

Johndoe,  that girl who took off her bra it offered it to you in front of everybody, I bet she did the trick of doing it under her top.  Now that I regularly wear a bra, I have learned to do that trick, too!

Re: The Board
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2019, 02:19:28 PM »
Johndoe,  that girl who took off her bra it offered it to you in front of everybody, I bet she did the trick of doing it under her top.  Now that I regularly wear a bra, I have learned to do that trick, too!
You are correct. She unhooked it and then pulled it out of her sleeve without taking her top off. She would do things like that for shock value. That was a pretty wild bunch in those days. I do that sometimes myself. She was smaller than I was and the band would have never gone around me even if they had tried to forceablely put on me. I would have fought them anyway. When a teen, acceptance is everything.

Re: The Board
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2019, 09:28:36 PM »
You have come a long way

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hammer

Re: The Board
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2019, 10:23:18 AM »
You have come a long way
I agree, you have! It is good to put that all behind you!

Re: The Board
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2019, 02:48:55 PM »
Johndoe1, you have said a mouthful and then some, but I also totally agree as well!

I really think that part of the problem is people have sexualize breast to much and in reality they are for feeding our offspring! That is why people have issues with mothers breast feeding in public! My wife breast feed our daughters, my daughter breast feed her kids and our family members had no problems with where the feedings were done!

As you said, a boob is a boob is a boob, and the thing is, we all have them men and women have breast tissue! We are all born with it, it is just a matter of how much development do each of us have?

There's my input on the matter.

Bob
I absolutely agree. My view of breasts as inherently beautiful did not change since I lost my sex drive. One of the most beautiful human acts is a woman nursing her infant. Even us guys can lactate and nurse under the right conditions. I feel extremely lucky to have breasts.

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hammer

Re: The Board
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2019, 10:19:48 AM »
Johndoe1, you have said a mouthful and then some, but I also totally agree as well!

I really think that part of the problem is people have sexualize breast to much and in reality they are for feeding our offspring! That is why people have issues with mothers breast feeding in public! My wife breast feed our daughters, my daughter breast feed her kids and our family members had no problems with where the feedings were done!

As you said, a boob is a boob is a boob, and the thing is, we all have them men and women have breast tissue! We are all born with it, it is just a matter of how much development do each of us have?

There's my input on the matter.

Bob
I absolutely agree. My view of breasts as inherently beautiful did not change since I lost my sex drive. One of the most beautiful human acts is a woman nursing her infant. Even us guys can lactate and nurse under the right conditions. I feel extremely lucky to have breasts.
I can't say I feel lucky, but I have accepted them and I wouldn't ever have them cut off, except if I got cancer!

Re: The Board
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2019, 09:33:24 AM »
I too wouldn't call myself lucky, but the more they grow the more I accept them and enjoy them. In regard to nursing, even though I wish I could lactate as I think it would be incredibly fun. I don't think I could be comfortable nursing a child. Just seems too odd for me. We are expecting  our daughter in a few weeks. And I am a bit nervous. As my breasts continue growing in small spurts, when it comes time for swimming lessons, will she be embarrassed by me or when it's the age of teasing friends, will they pick her to mock cause her dad has boobs? I accept my breasts but a child is bringing new anxieties to surface. I read skin to skin contact is very beneficial, so while I wouldn't call myself lucky for having them, I do find myself lucky in the sense that if my wife needs a break from caring for her, that my skin somewhat resembles hers and would hopefully keep the child calm and comfortable. 

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hammer

Re: The Board
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2019, 01:54:34 PM »
Steven I believe you know that I have 2 daughters! Well, some of their girlfriends came to know and understand why I had large breasts and understood and had no problems with it!

My oldest daughter decided she wanted a pool for her kids as we always had one as they were growing up, but their yard is not fenced in like ours or as  secluded so she asked if it could be installed in our backyard being they only lived 2 blocks away! We said yes, and even though my son in law knew I were a bra I believe that he was very surprised when I came out to swim and he seen how big I actually was, and I had nothing on, on top!


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