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Taking acceptance to the next level

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Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2018, 09:08:59 AM »
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Some of us take a lot longer! :D

Oh ya, its like learning to ride a bike, some of us fall off before we learn how to ride it than others, and some take off the 1st time on the seat!

You don't need to feel like you have to rush into anything! There is no law that says that if you have breast you have to support then! This is a personal choice, mostly for comfort in the majority of people and some just don't need it!

And on another note, there is no reason to be ashamed of it either! It's no different than having a  Jimmy Duran nose or  if you had some other visible signs of something that only YOU think is so terrible!

You are so right! It took me years to come to terms with my chest. And the reasons for that fear were just stupid. I didn't ask to have breasts. I wasn't "broken". Society was.

I don't feel "different" because I have breasts. I feel like "me" with breasts. At this point, I wouldn't know how to act if I didn't have breasts. I have never known a life being flat chested. How does that feel to not have shirts trying to flatten my bust? Would I even like that "feeling"? What is a "man" suppose to feel like? What does a "woman" feel like? I have no idea. I just know how "I" feel. That is all I have to go on.

After I started wearing a bra, the support felt like I was being hugged all the time. It was very relaxing, calming and the feel of the material of the cups surrounding my breast tissue gently containing/lifting/supporting gave me unexpected confidence because there was no more movement of my tissue as I moved and I had some control over my bust, something I never had before. Of course this all didn't occur to me overnight. It took a while of experiencing life while trussed up in a bra. I now am self conscience when in public braless. The girls can have a mind of their own sometimes that can be embarrassing. Can you say "high beams"!!

I have a female friend, one of only 3 who know I wear a bra, who put it all in perspective for me. She said my problem wasn't that I was wearing a bra, but I had boobs. A bra was just a piece of clothing that helped make me comfortable. My boobs were there whether I wore a bra or not. How did I deal with that? The problem was I had never come to terms with my chest. I thought long and hard about that statement and came to the realization she was right. I then had to learn to overcome my fear of the "boob" and that took a little while but I have just about completely overcome it. Life is too short to stress out over something like boobs. Cancer is something to stress out about, not mammary glands on your chest that doesn't hurt anything but your ego.

I am still careful how I dress because I don't want to flaunt them. My boobs are not who I am but are a part of me, but I still wear my bras proudly because it makes me physically more comfortable. The bra is for my comfort, not societies. And if you study how women wear their clothes, most of the time, they don't show their breasts off. Many times, it is hard to tell what size a women's breast are unless they are very large or they are wearing a revealing or accentuating top. So I have started taking those examples and using it to my advantage and even when wearing a bra. And I have noticed a reduction in "wandering eyes" since I have started doing that. That is not to say I don't get any wandering eyes anymore. I still do. But the number of times it happens has dropped considerably. I am finding that as long as I don't draw attention to them, no one seems to notice or care.

The reality is no one should care if a male has female features or a female has male features. It is no one's damn business. But many people think it is. Like I said, I am not broken. Society is. Once I came to that realization, some through reasoning and some through experience, life for me got a whole lot better.

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Offline mgr

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Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2018, 09:29:09 AM »
Well said Johndoe1.  I have gone through a similar process, but received my discussion support from a counselor. I went to her to understand or get comfortable with the changes in my body (breasts, no testicles, extra weight in my thighs, and atrophy of my appendage). She helped me a lot by allowing me to morn the loss of my boys and the lack of sexual function (nerves were damaged during prostate cancer surgery) and accept the fact I now have a different body through no fault of my own.  I now confidently wear a bra for my 38C chest.  I only am wary around a few people meaning my brother and sister.  Over the holiday I wore everyday with my mother in-law, sister in-law, and aunt. Never thinking once I should not wear.  Good luck in the process. It is always better to be comfortable with the correct support.

Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2018, 11:09:12 AM »
I am sorry mgr to hear of your illness but am glad you have been able to overcome it. I have come to the conclusion that if given a choice of death by cancer or to have a KK chest and forced to wear a bra, I will be buying a lot of stock in bra companies.
There are more devastating things in life than being a male wearing a bra for noticeable breasts.

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Offline hammer

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Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2018, 11:43:42 AM »
I believe that both of you  Johndoe1 and mgr and I are all in agreement and in the same boat and thankfully that boat isn't going to sink as this old Navy Diver isn't much of a swimmer anymore!

Mgr, I too am sorry to hear of your lose and of the cancer! I lost my boys due to a problem after a vasectomy.  However, I started my journey much younger then others,here on the forum as I was 36 and 37 respectively as I first lost the one side in 94 then the other in 95!

I share and discuss many of our post with my wife to get her perspective and thoughts on them, because she is very supportive and she agrees that this is a societies problem! In this day in age we have same sex marriage, people who claim other on the gender question, why can't a straight man wear a article of clothing design specifically to support breast if he himself has breast and not be viewed as a crossdresser or anything else!

I don't have the answers and all I can say is we need to stay strong for one another and be here for each other as well! I myself don't wear my bra all the time as I've said before.  I took it off yesterday when I found out my grandson was going to be spending the night. My wife and daughter tell my not to but I'm not ready to explain to a very smart 6 year old yet. He sees me with out a shirt on but not a bra. Both daughters know a well as my son in law and all are very supportive!

I have several friends and family members who know that I've been told by my PC doctor to wear support but that's as much as they have been told.

Be strong my brothers!

Bob
I'd rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I'm not!

I am who I am,  and I'm not going to change to please anyone!

https://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=24515.0

Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #19 on: December 31, 2018, 01:45:28 PM »

I share and discuss many of our post with my wife to get her perspective and thoughts on them, because she is very supportive and she agrees that this is a societies problem! In this day in age we have same sex marriage, people who claim other on the gender question, why can't a straight man wear a article of clothing design specifically to support breast if he himself has breast and not be viewed as a crossdresser or anything else!


YES! YES! YES! How can we live in such a PC world, but on THIS ONE SUBJECT I am some kind of a freak for having NATURAL female hooters? MtF trans people get much more respect than us gynecomastia sufferers (I hate using "sufferer", but I don't know what else to call it). It is like since we DIDN'T ask for our chests, we must be screwed in the head. I don't see how the logic can be so backaswards! But in all honesty, women have both been my greatest champions and the worst antagonists when it comes to my breasts. No men know I wear a bra or have EVER discussed my breasts beyond verbal and physical attacks.

The worst physical attack, and that is what it was, was not from a man, they just like to cop a feel and laugh, but was from a woman, whom if I had done to her what she did to me, in public no less, I would be UNDER the jail, but since I was a guy, it was just funny. But the very few women who know about my breasts and bra wearing all treat me like a fellow traveler and not some weirdo. It is very heartening to know I don't have to watch what I am wearing around them, as long as it is within the normal boundaries of acceptance and I have no desire to be provocative anyway. They don't pay any attention to the girls even when they hug me and their hands go over the straps and band of my bras just like they would with other women friends.

I hope I live long enough (shows you how much faith I have it will happen) that one day I can dress normally with the girls showing like any woman does and no one even notices. I am a guy with boobs and that is what I am.

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I don't have the answers and all I can say is we need to stay strong for one another and be here for each other as well!
......

Be strong my brothers!

Bob

You too!

Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2019, 08:08:13 AM »
I have worn a bra full time since I was 16. It was a choice that I had made with a little guidance from my mother and sister. I didn't absolutely have to but, it was an option between discomfort, or surgery because I was told "they're only gonna get bigger". Even with surgery, there was a good possibility that they would just grow back. I knew that I didn't want surgery or deal with the pain so a bra was my best option. My mother brought me for my first fitting at JCP. I was a 34C and by the time I graduated high school, I was a 34D or DD.
It is what it is. I have large breasts and hips. It runs in the women in my family. 
I don't have the discomfort from my boobs not being supported like I used to. However, I definitely prefer a bra to being braless. I look and feel better too.
I have also ventured into ladies button down tops because they fit me much better.  My wife convinced me to try ladies Jean's as well because mens jeans just don't fit over my hips and butt unless I get a waist size 2 or 3 sizes to large. She was right. I'm very glad and not ashamed of wearing clothing that is made for my shape. 
Anything for clothing doesn't change anything about you. Bras are made for PEOPLE with breasts,  not just women. 
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.

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Offline hammer

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Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #21 on: January 01, 2019, 12:00:38 PM »
Just as my wife said, "shoes are made for feet, just as bras are made for breast and both men and women have both  feet and breast"!
I'm sure glad I married a good one!

People can be great and they can be real assholes too! I do my best to avoid the assholes, but I'm sure most of you try as well! I believe it was ABWG'S once said in one of his post when asked why he was wearing a bra? He asked the questioning person, "are you wearing shoes"? He answered "yes" "why" "I have feet" ABWG'S then said "well, I wear a bra because I have breast and a bra is made to support breast,  just as shoes are made to be worn on feet"!

We all need to have some great come backs for people who get in our way, to be able to put a smile on our own face after the encounter just as I did with my customer that time when the sister from Germany, said that I needed the bra! So if you have them, let's share them and put a smile on each others face in this new year!

Let's make this the year of acceptance of men with breasts, even though they didn't want them, or some maybe did! Lol

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Offline Paa_Paw

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Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #22 on: January 01, 2019, 08:40:35 PM »
I am amused at the guy who thought his sex life would be over at 50.   I am 81 and everything still works, just not as frequently as when I was younger. 
Grandpa Dan

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Offline hammer

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Re: Taking acceptance to the next level
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2019, 07:43:05 AM »
I am amused at the guy who thought his sex life would be over at 50.   I am 81 and everything still works, just not as frequently as when I was younger.

Dan, I'm not sure of which post you are referring to, however, I know of many men who have lost their sexual drive or ability at a very young age! Even younger then 50! I'm one for example after the loss of my testicles at the age of 36. Then there was a marine I knew that had a grenade training accident and lost his at even a younger age then me! How about those with either prostate or testicular cancer? And then some men just have a lower sex drive that drops off even more with age. For one reason or another be it hormones, size of testicles, pituitary gland issues or whatever not everyone has a high sex drive! I for one might have fathered 5 kids, and I can't deny any of them, however I am someone who never had a high demand for sex, which is good given what happened to me!

However on the other hand, there are some like Debbie's grandfather who talked about it until the last days of his life because he had such a strong sex drive!



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