Author Topic: To the young guys....  (Read 8344 times)

Offline PSC0002

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Gonna be a little venting, but I think all the guys who've dealt with this for a long time will agree.  I'm not an old guy, only 25, but I'm still my parent's son. 

If I've read it once I've read it a hundred times.  "I don't know how to tell my parents", or "I'm working at McD's and can't afford it and my parents won't agree", or the three hundred other reasons why you tell yourself you must live with gyne for another year. 

Yet you're worried everyone notices, but somehow your parents are totally oblivious to your problem.   

You say you're a complete social outcast because of this, but talking to the people closest to you somehow won't work.

The best thing you can do, TODAY, is to tell your folks.  These people wiped your butt, fed you, cared for you when you were sick, and yes they've seen what your packin in the pants - for YEARS...  And you're their son.  99 out of 100 parents will do ANYTHING in their power to help their kid.  You might not get those new Nikes everybody has, but I'm pretty sure you got fed.  You may even be suprised to hear that they've noticed it, or how it affects you, or maybe even talked about getting something done about it.

You wear sweatshirts in the summer and you think they don't notice?  T-shirts under everything?  You sit at home in your room while others go to the pool?  And they have no idea....    RIGHT......

So I'll quit venting on you and tell you my story in a short and sweet version.   I'm 25. I found out that this was a "real" problem about 2 years ago.  I thought I could take some pills, ect, whatever to fix it.  Ran across this board, learned more, and educated myself from all available sources about the issue.   I then went to a consult in November.  I decide to have surgery in February.  I wrote a note telling my folks about what I found out, and that I was going to do this.  - You could not imagine the outpouring of support I received. 
They knew this was a problem when I hit puberty.  They just didn't know there was anything to do for it and, at the suggestion of my pediatrician, it would all go away in time.  Anyway, I am in my 4th week post-op.  My biggest regret is that I didn't get surgery 10 years ago.  I'm sure PLENTY of guys on this board would overwhelmingly agree.

So, my advice.  You've researched.  Keep doing so.  Educate yourself as much as possible to figure out your best solution in April.  Then present this solution in early May. You might be surprised at the response you get.   Then do what you need to do and get on with your life and never think about gyne again (unless you want to come back to post to the board, of course)

You might even find out the parent's aren't really as dumb as you thought they were. 

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=17345.0

Offline George12

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Told my parents, they dont care. No way in hell I could come up with the surgery money on my own, just going to kill myself soon...it truly is the only way out with gyne when you are poor :(.

Offline mrpower33

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George, why don't you think you can come up with the money on your own?  If you are a student, do you have a part time job?  If the answer is no, then I'm not sure why your first option would be to kill yourself.  Come up with a budget and then go out there and take any job you can find.  It may take you several years, but I suspect you will be able to save up the money given enough time.  You can kill yourself after you've tried that plan first without any success, how does that sound? 

Offline thetodd

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Writing a letter seems a little melodramatic to me (no offense lads). I just told my mum straight that i wanted to have it done, and that was that! Dont write a letter or an email tell them straight your parents will worry otherwise

The way youve got to look at it is, gynecomastia is a BIG deal for guys who have it (like i used to). But to everyone else its just a bit of a joke, i mean how many people have you took the piss out of behind there back about their visual disfigurments (baldness etc). Really you should be thinking, well yeah ive got gyne, but at least it can be fixed ... and yes it can whether thats in 1 month or 5 years you CAN get it sorted. Make cutbacks do what you have to do!

Tell your parents face to face, they will stick by you

Good luck lads
Surgery With Alex Karidis - 16/05/09 - Completed!
http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=17738.0

Offline Cellar_Door

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I choose not to tell my mother because I know she would probably tell someone else, despite me telling her not to, and before you know it, everyone knows.

I would not tell my father because to him, any money that isn't spent on alcohol is a waste. The thought of spending 300 quid on, say, a stereo system would be a travesty to him. So, spending over 4 thousand on something like this would cause his brain to implode upon itself, causing a black hole in the fabric of space-time.
Surgery completed. Mission accomplished!
2/6/09. Dr. Karidis, UK.

Offline cowboyaaron

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I also told my mom when i was 17, afterward i realised that i was worrying too much about the embaresment.
It really wasnt hard, and you fee soooo much better after letting someone your close to know
about your problem.
                  -19, still have gyne on right breast.

Offline headheldhigh01

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Quote
So, spending over 4 thousand on something like this would cause his brain to implode upon itself, causing a black hole in the fabric of space-tim
  :D  :D  :D

psc, everything you said is good advice, with one qualifier.  a few people who are less fortunate have had their parents belittle it as a fuss over nothing or sometimes worse.  you are right though that 90% of the time it's worth biting the bullet to do it, because unless you've got a couple thousand sitting around in your own account and the luxury of free time and transport, if you want it fixed anytime before college, they're probably going to be in on the deal. 
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline Lauterbrunnen

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Haven't said anything to my parents... But I agree that if it's really something that bothers you, most likely your parents will see it and to a lesser degree probably the other people that are close to you. I've thought about it a lot before and figured it's just me being paranoid. I guess these people really don't care in the long run what your body looks like. I don't plan on telling my parents. I don't plan on telling anyone. I'll just have it done and move on with my life like nothing ever happened. That's what I'm hoping for at least.

Offline Cole1992

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  • Got that problem off my chest :) (pun intended)
Very inspiring post. Should be a sticky.
R.I.P. Gyno 2004-2009 :) Good Riddance. Pics here: http://s714.photobucket.com/albums/ww150/Cole1992/

Offline theman234

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I told my dad and  he said it was a complete waste of money. But after months and months (and years) of talking about it. they finally got tired of it and i'm getting it done on tuesday. My mom is ok with it.
Surgery Date: July 7, 2009!

Offline cecly

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I saved up and paid for it in it's entirety and still told my parents straight out (mind you, I have lived out of home for almost 5 years). It's really not a big deal and they will be more than understanding.
« Last Edit: July 04, 2009, 08:25:48 PM by cecly »

Offline goingoingonegyno

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I've been living with gyne for about 6 years now and I finally, after keeping it a secret for that long, cracked the other day and told my dad. He moved out 2 years ago, but I flat out just went up to his house and told him, and guys, it was honestly the best decision I have ever made. Don't let it hold you back. Like a wise man once said (before in this thread..) they wiped your ass and changed your diapers thousands of times. They already know what the full meal deal includes and I'm sure, like my parents, yours would do anything for you. If you explain to them what it is like to live with gyne I'm sure they'll understand. What's the harm in trying ...

Offline HoorayHoorayHooray

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Some of you need to realize that not all parents are the same. I don't live with my father and I only live with my mother who is out all day and night until around 1 AM doing godknowswhat. When I finally anty up to tell her about my problem, she just laughs and tells me that I'm ridiculous and how me wearing sweaters and hunching over is also ridiculous. She says that I don't have anything and that all males have it even if I did. -_______-

I had money for college which she manages (received from my father). She spent it all and tells me that there's no money left for my surgery. I've been going to community college while my father sends her money to send me to a 20k university. She says all that money is gone from her giving me lunch money. Fucking bull shit.

Offline headheldhigh01

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jeez, that sounds prosecutable.  does your dad know? 

Offline enthusiastic

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I waited until I was 32 and had the money, and when I told my parents, they both said that they knew I was upset about it and they understood.

My advice, is to tell the parent that will understand, and give them a little credit you know.... 

Get the surgery.    I did.  I haven't worried about my chest in two years, and it's glorious.  Couldn't have spent the money a better way.    Granted, I have scars, but ladies I've been with since then just acted like they weren't there and they didn't care!

Awesome!



 

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