Author Topic: There Is Hope.  (Read 4337 times)

Offline c3ntralp3rk

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  • there is hope.
 As a child, I used to love swimming. Always naggign my parents to take me to beach trips, and I loved it when I got there. Swimming was passion. I joined the swim team at the age of 9, hoping to be like the big kids one day, represent my highschool as I swam in varsity tournaments.

I was always a bit chubby as a child, due to the puppy fat I had breast-like development. Nothing to worry about though, the nipples were small, it was like any other fat 4th grader. However as I grew older, I gained more and more weight, and before I knew it, I had pseudogynecomastia. Swimming was mandatory at our school (for physical education) - and I hated to go swim. Kids would make fun of me, and tease me. I hated it when we had to do stretches by the pool side, I wished we could just jump in the pool and nobody would have to see my man boobs again. My classmates taunted me, it was horrible.

I was 148 centimeters tall, yet I weighed close to 160 pounds. I ended up going on a diet, moreover I played tennis 6 days a week, 2 hours a day, in addition to regular routine of running. In the next few years, I had lost all the fat - I was finally at a normal bodyweight. Nobody teased me anymore, no more mandatory swimming lessons either. However - to my horror, something new had happened. My nipples were now larger than usual, and I still had a hint of fat around my nipples.

When I turned 17, I thought enough was enough. I started lifting weights, placing great emphasis on my chest - and to my relief my chest did start to look better. I reduced my percentage bodyfat, and my nipples did reduce a little in size - and 2 years down the line, at age 19 i had a beautiful biceps, great back, perfect shoulders, awesome tricep/shoulder development. My upper chest was cut up, i had cuts down the middle of my chest - yet, somehow my nipples still appeared 'puffy'. At first I imagined that it was because of my pseudogynecomastia that my nipples had been "stretched out" and were distoreted. However I continued to see obese men at the gym who had normal nipples - their man boobs just looked like a result of excess fat development.

One day, due to a minor illness, I took a visit to the doctor. Now, I was on vacation, and seeing this GP in Indonesia - who was checking my heartbeat, when he made a comment on my nipples. Basically what he said was "you have female hormones. you like a woman yeah?" and all of those memories from my childhood just came back rushing, and I was so embarrased. I was with my dad (God, i'm so glad my mom wasn't with me). Just a few moments ago I was masculinity personified with my bulging biceps, and broad shoulders, and my upper pecs were so nicely developed that you could barely tell that I had gyne with my shirt on, and in just these few minutes the doctor said that I had nipples like a woman.

I came home, posed in front of the mirror, and I realised that yes, something was indeed wrong. There was no residue left from the days of obesity; except for the fact that my nipples were larger than normal. I googled "puffy nipples" and it came up with a multitude of results. It was there when I learnt of gynecomastia. At first I denied that I had it, I could not believe that I could have gynecomastia, I thought that my man breast days were long gone - what was happening. One day I came across this website that taught me to feel under the nipple for breast tissue. I did, and I sure felt exactly what the website described I would. I was devastated.

I was on a rollercoaster of depression. Staying home. Not going to the gym anymore, I felt like the last two years I had spent in the gym were a waste. Sure I could wear sleevless t-shirts, and sport a V-back, but I thought that I could never take my shirt off again. I kept on denying that I had gynecomastia. It was probably one of the most difficult phases of my life.

All till I found gynecomastia.org - where I found people from all around the globe who were talking about their problems. It was then that I realized that I am not some mishap of nature who just happens to have larger than normal nipples. I realized how common Gyne actually was! I realized that I didn't have some really wierd disorder where I would be muscular all over - but soft around the nipples! There were so many of you who shared experiences that I cannot believe resembled mine so closely!

Sure surgery is expensive, but atleast now I know that options to take care of this ARE there. I tried burning off fat, tried building up muscle, all of them helped me in so many ways - but didn't cure my gyne. But now I know that I am not so different, that what I have is a case that affects many many other boys/men around the world.

I am back in the gym, working out, building up my body. I have contacted several surgeons and plan on having surgery in the one next year. I believe that the first step towards conquering this humiliation that gynecomastia imposes upon is is merely accepting that we have it. We can go on denying it, yet it will remain in our subconscience, poking at our heart. Just face it, be strong, and make your way through it.

I believe that there is hope for all of us out there. I wish all of you the best. Thank you for your all of your posts, you do not know how much your experiences have helped me gather myself together. I have finally picked up all the pieces of my life, and am ready to move on.

Peace.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=2463.0

Offline nothingworse

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That taunting is hard to let go of. Sorry you had to go through all that bs also. I still can never let it go. I see the same scenes in my head everyday. And like you I tried to beat it every way I could with no success. Hopefully I will get the surgery soon I am shooting for 1-3 months from now. Good luck with you and your surgery and I hope things work out for the best for you.

Offline c3ntralp3rk

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thank you. i wish you all the best as well. i guess the others (those who have never had even faced living with gyne) will never understand what it was like for people like us growing up.

we've made it this far. thanks to medical technology we can finally be emancipated of this humiliation.. ofcourse the psychological scars will take a while to heal. heh.

goodluck with your suergery! where are you getting it done? i'm planning on having mine in toronto.

Offline IlluminaZero

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Oh wow... Your story mirrors mine so much it's actually somewhat scary, c3ntralp3rk. This is really well written, couldn't have written it any better myself. I hope someday this entire Gynecomastia ordeal will just be a bad memory for us.

Offline nothingworse

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I am getting my surgery done by the end of October in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I found a qualified breast reduction surgeon real local. Just got to meet with him one more time to get all points addressed. The gland has to be completely removed to stop the physical pain I get from it. This pain and suffering will soon stop for me. I hate it, and soon again will be able to work out my chest area. Good luck to you and getting your surgery done. I was looking for this day even before I knew what gyne was. No one can understand what it is like we do what it is to live with gyne for a long time and face taunting and bs. Not to mention not many understand what the additional pain bonus you get when you have painful gyne. Nothing will stop me from getting it now. It's time to win and be free and stop the pain.

Offline c3ntralp3rk

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nothingworse, good to know that you'll be getting surgery so soon. emancipation is right around the corner bro.  :)

Offline nothingworse

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Thanks for the kind words and it is about time. The thing is I am hoping for normal and the glands to be gone. If the results were great I would be happy. After this is all over and if everything turns out great I still will probably have the images still in my head. But, if I don't have the problem anymore I can relax and live life. I can never go back to those who said those comments because they wouldn't have done it for that period if they really were. Times change and so has everyone. I have changed and I have changed for the better. I am getting my life on track and soon will be going off to college in about a half a year. I am more popular in school, I don't mind going now, and this surgery will be a plus. Also, I am going to lose a bit more bodyfat to make myself all I can be. Thanks for your kind words and I wish you the best with everything. You have given me a lot of help that helped to make some of this possible. Thank you!

Offline c3ntralp3rk

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nothingworse, your kind words have flattered me a lot. but remember, that the relationship that we have all shared on this forum has been a very symbiotic, reciprocal relationship. we have all bounced off of each other when we were about to fall. we have given each other the energy that we have required to make the decisions that we have come about to making..

it just makes me so glad to see that you are getting rid of this burden. I shall pray that everything goes well for you my man, we have faced a lot of BS in our lives..

but i would like to believe that all of the stuff that we've been through - it has made us better people. i would never go to those who made fun of me, and try to get revenge. what has happened, has happened.

however, i believe that we all.. sufferers of gynecomastia, should continue posting here. helping those who have just discovered about their condition..

i remember being so shocked when i came to this website. initially, i resented the idea that i had gyne; however the day i started writing the "there is hope" post, that was the day that things finally began to make sense once again.

i hope that those of you, who are new to this site, who have just discovered what gynecomastia is - just remember to compose yourself, hold yourself together. having gyne isn't the end of the world,

i have seen how nothingworse overcame the struggle to get his gyne surgery done.. i have seen how grandpa bambu went through 31 years of torture - and finally figured his way out to emancipation, and led a life to help all of those in need out..

all of these people are examples of who we should learn from. who we should be inspired by, to regain some of that positive energy.

as my hero sylvester stallone said in 'rocky V' - fear is like fire.. you can either burn into ashes from it.. or you can use that fear, to come out a winner.

so if you're scared. don't worry too much. we've all been scared.

don't shun the fear. but use it to your advantage, use it to fuel your dreams. that one day you too, will be gyne free.

after all. there is hope.
:)
« Last Edit: November 03, 2005, 04:34:41 PM by c3ntralp3rk »

Offline There_Is_Hope

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Best of luck!

Offline Shawnw1531

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How did you end up with your surgeon in milwaukee? I am looking for a surgeon in that area.

Offline Keep_It_Moving

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Your story really touched me. I've recently stopped going to the gym and have "let myself go for the past 5 weeks"... It's time to get back in there and work with what I've got for now...

Thanks for your post!


 

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