Author Topic: on a mission  (Read 2771 times)

Offline soupy

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I'am 28 and have a pretty bad case of gynecomastia.  It's pretty much fucked with my entire life since I was about 12?  I don't remember.  It wasn't that big of an issue, until I was 19 when I started to gain some weight, and it became fairly bad, but not too much of a problem.  I got involved with a girl and became even more lazier and put on a lot of weight, and it became really bad.  We went out for 3 years, and initially I was embarrased to even take off my shirt in front of her, and like I said I got lazier and bigger(5'10 220 pounds), and I think she had enough of me because of this(though she never said so). Oh yeah, I even got stretch marks on my stomach from being 60 pounds overweight.  So, after we broke up, I decided to train like a madman.  I ate right, I ran 10 miles a week, I lifted weights.  I got down to 155, I was in good shape, but my bitch breasts were still there.  I still couldn't get a girl, because they would get grossed out because of them.  It sucked soo bad.  I'am a pretty good looking guy and I can attract the women with no problem, but eventually it doesn't matter because once they see them, the relationship is over.  So, for the last three years I became completely depressed(I've hid it well, I'am a pretty positive person) and I turned to alcohol as an outlet.  I figured that I'd never have another woman in my life because of this problem, so f**k it I don't care just send me into this oblivion every night so I can try to forget that my life would never include a wife and kids and fulfillment.  Coupled with this problem was my avoidance of any activity that involved me taking my shirt off.  I don't think I've even been swimming in ten years.  I hate the summer time, because I can't wear the baggy shirts I can in the fall, but f**k it, I'd just go out or stay home and get drunk to forget about this all.  The alcohol got even worse, I don't think I've been sober a month for the past three years, I still could go to work and bang the job out, but I'd never get promoted because everybody knew I was an alcoholic.  Then one night in September last year I said f**k this.  I'am not going to live my life like this anymore.  Living in a state of oblivion, ignoring all of my problems, turning to the bottle.  Well I've been sober for five months.  I've started to run again, and workout, and I've lost 50 pounds.  I even got that promotion, that passed me over so many times.  I'am happy with my life now, but the issue is still there.  I've even been attracting women lately, and I've avoided them because I know how it will end just like the rest.  My co-workers and friends f**k with me, because I don't pursue the girls that everyone knows that likes me.  My sexuality has even been questioned(in a joking fashion), so  f**k that I'am not gay, it just isn't worth the embarrasment, and wasting both of our time.  So I went after the latest one, so my co-workers and friends would stop ribbing me.  I really like this girl and we've been going out for a month.  I really started to dig on this girl, she makes me happy. Though a couple of days ago, I finally got laid after four years.  And I think it was out of mercy after she saw me without my shirt.  She hasn't called since or returned my calls, and I don't expect to hear back from her.  So, I'am back to where I started before.  I got drunk the other night and it felt great, all of my worries went out the door.  But I woke up this morning, and I never felt worse.  I know alcohol isn't the answer, and I'am not going to slip back upon bad habits.  So, I found this site on the web and was very encouraged.  The thought of being able to be normal and eventually lead a life I desire----wearing anything I want, going to the beach, finding a woman......has me pumped up.  I'am not expecting any miracles with this surgery, but I am considering it.  From what I've seen on this site it could work.  So I'am considering on taking a loan out on my house for the surgery.  I know I've said a lot on this message, but I've kept this inside for too long.  Nobody knows how I really feel, not my family or friends.  I know you all have the same problems and have dealt with some of the issues I mentioned.  So any advice on how to pursue this would be greatly appreciated.  I live on the West Coast, and I'am going to be looking for surgeons out here.  I still have some weight to lose but in a few months that won't be an issue.  I'll be at my right weight, but still with the breasts.  Thank you for your time and reading this, and pray for me that it is the right thing to do.


Offline Spleen

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You might want to see a doctor and get a psychiatry referral.  All the ups & downs, depression/mania, weight gain/loss sound like they could be helped with counseling and possibly medication.  Good luck.

Offline headheldhigh01

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awesome going, i think you're on the right track.  make sure you get somebody who's done this and knows his stuff, and you should have a lot less reason to go pounding yourself with a bottle.  welcome to the boards   :)
« Last Edit: March 31, 2005, 12:09:04 AM by headheldhigh01 »
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?


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