Author Topic: New to the site, feel the need to share  (Read 3513 times)

Offline DFWDJ

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I'm actually tearing up right now and I haven't even typed anything of relevance.   

I've had gyne since I was 11.  The typical no swimming pools, no showers after gym, no ocean, no lake, no water skiing, no shirts and skins, no sports...  Come to think of it, my entire life since I was 11 years old has been molded by my gyne. 

I was fairly innocent and didn't have much of a clue as to what was going on with my body until I was in 8th grade, 13 years old.  Thats when our middle school coach decided on a rainy day to have a boys vs girls kick ball game in the middle school gymnasium.  Being the alpha male type that he was, he came up with the bright idea of the boys taking there shirts off... Never understood this, since it was boys vs girls, and it was kick ball, why exactly did we have to take our shirts off to distinguish one team from the other?  That was the day where the shame, seclusion and depression took over.  As soon as I reluctantly took my shirt off there was silence, and literally everyone in the room was staring at me.  Practically the whole eighth grade class was in there.  The girls in line to kick the ball, whispering and giggling into each others ears...  It was the most devastating moment of my life.  I was a straight A student who went to church on Wednesday and Sunday.

Highschool.  My grades dropped, not because I was unable, but because I just didn't care anymore.  I started doing drugs, started raising hell for my parents.  They took me to a psychologist when I was 15 and they started feeding me prozac.  I was so removed from my own body at that point, because I didn't even want to think about it because it disgusted me, that I had actually convinced myself that I was depressed because of external reasons.  The thought of my daily battle with gyne causing this never even crossed my mind.  I went deeper into depression. 
Then I went off the deep end.  I attempted suicide.  It didn't work.  I was in an in patient psychiatric facility for 2 months and in an out patient for another 2 months.  Still in denial, still looking for other things to blame my anguish on.
As soon as I turned 17, my parents were sick of me, and kicked me out of their house, and I in turn dropped out of school. 
I went off the deep end once again, but this time I was ingesting every and any drug I could get my hands on.  Cocaine and Heroin were my drug of choice for a few years.  Got into the rave scene, and it helped me get clean.  Don't ask me how that works, 'cause I still don't get it.   

I've been clean now for almost 5 years.  I got married almost two years ago and had a daughter this past November.  I guess you can say that I have found better ways to cope, but I still wear a tight white undershirt when I have sex with my wife.  I haven't taken a shower with her.  She has seen me without a shirt maybe a handful of times.  I still can't go to a public place without feeling intense anxiety.

All I want is to be able to go swimming with my daughter.  Thats all I want.

This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to type.

Thanks for your time.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=9465.0

Offline bluedragonph

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Welcome aboard!

Although I will not pretend and say that I completely understand what you have been through, I at least know where your depression, fears and hurt are coming from.

I'm glad that you have been clean for some time now and that you now have a wife and daughter to keep you happy and grounded. I agree, being able to be intimate with your wife or swim freely with your daughter without any form of physical or psychological restrictions are enough reasons to deal and solve your gynecomastia problem.

Good luck with your journey and I hope it ends well.

Offline weareinittogether

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What type of gyne do you have? are you overweight? how severe is your gyne?

Offline DFWDJ

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My guess is that its half glandular half fat.  I'm fairly overweight, but I have a natural heavy muscular build (6'4" 250 lbs).  I do not know what my BMI is. Back when I was around 215 lbs my gyne looked exactly the same.  After looking at the pictures on this site I would say that my case is severe.  I have round moobs that do not sag, easily a c-cup.

Offline weareinittogether

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Have you looked into having surgery? they can remove the glands and liposuction the fat out to then re shape them to make it more of a regular looking chest? Go to your gp and tell them what you said in your post and they can refer you to the specialist, it's a hard thing to do but it's the start to the road of recovery, good luck my friend.

Offline DFWDJ

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Unfortunately my only obstacle right now is $...  Thanks for your advice and kind words.


Offline Grandpa Bambu

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  • 31 Year Gynecomastia Victim...
As soon as I reluctantly took my shirt off there was silence, and literally everyone in the room was staring at me.  Practically the whole eighth grade class was in there.  The girls in line to kick the ball, whispering and giggling into each others ears...  It was the most devastating moment of my life.

I know/feel your pain Broh. In grade six Pys.Ed class, I was on a 'skins' side of Shirts/Skins indoor soccer game. I was in goal for the 'skins'. Standing slightly bent over with my hands on my knees waiting for the play to come my way, I noticed two young girls pointing, staring, laughing/giggling at me. I was terrified. This was the first time that I felt conscious about my m(o)(o)bs. I was 10 in grade six. At the age of 41 in Feb. 2005 I had Gynecomastic Reduction Surgery (GRS). 31 years of hell. 


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All I want is to be able to go swimming with my daughter.  Thats all I want.

Here are a couple of pics Pic1, Pic2 of my Grandson Niko and myself swimming... July 2005, just five months after my GRS. Swimming was not in my vocabulary prior to surgery.

Save your coin, get surgery and go swimming with your daughter my man.


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I still wear a tight white undershirt when I have sex with my wife.

I did the same thing dude. Couldn't bare the fact that my m(o)(o)bs would be bounc'n around in the wife's face...   :-\


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This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to type.

It does get easier dude....  Thanks for sharing!


BTW... How old are you and where do you live?  Texas?


GB
« Last Edit: April 05, 2007, 01:52:48 PM by Grandpa Bambu »
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
Pre-Op/Post-Op Pics

Offline DFWDJ

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25 as of last month.  I live in north Texas.

Offline Carlos

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Yea I also hear you DFWDJ.
It sounds great that you have sorted your life out after that pain. I can relate to alot in your story especially the anguish that gyno causes.
I didnt have the strenght to seek out plastic surgery until after I sorted my life out and felt strong enough mentally to deal with it. I do hope that in the future young men with this problem will have an easier time to seek help.

 
 

Offline realist85

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Wow. Powerful story. It really is inspiring to many of us to hear of the way you got your life together after high school. Ultimately, though, the underlying condition should be addressed. Just save up the money and get surgery. No point in making life anymore difficult than it already is.

Offline DFWDJ

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Update:

I've finally called out to my family for some support.  I've never had the balls to speak to anyone in my family about this, even though it was as obvious to them as it was to me I'm sure.  My Wife and my Mother are keeping me on track and making sure that I take every step I can to reach my goal.  It's still going to take forever for me to save the scratch, but at least I have people in my corner rooting for me.  Oh well, at least it gives me some time to lose 20-30 more lbs.


Offline weareinittogether

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Good luck dude, never give up!

Offline DFWDJ

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How incredibly kind you are to make an offer like that.  Seriously, I am blown away... 

I couldn't take your money though.  My brain just doesn't work that way, I need to do this on my own, financially any way. 

Thank you for the kind gesture though.  That is amazingly rare coming from a stranger. 


 

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