Author Topic: My Struggle!  NHS is my key to happiness?  (Read 1952 times)

Offline zrgyne

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Hey! I'm 18 and have gyne, and I live in Ireland. Sad
I've been browsing this board for around a year now, and i thought it was about time to make a post.
This board has been kind of like a double-edged sword for me. In one way it made me feel like I wasn’t alone, and let me realise how many others there are out there, and in another made me face up to some harsh realities.  
Before I found out about "gynecomastia" itself I thought my large chest was just due to my weight, it was quite shocking and partially de-motivating to find out all the exercise and eating well in the world might not help me at all.
I've had a rather difficult time for the last 7 or 8 years of my life. My gyne first appeared as far as I can remember when i was around 11, this was also a stage in my life when I had taken to playing a lot of video games for prolonged amounts of time, and I gained a hefty amount of weight.  
On a side note I’m still one for believing that putting on weight and the development of true gyne are somehow related, but some expert here will probably provide me with some highly scientific evidence that completely disproves this...  

Anyway, when I first became self conscious of my gyne i would start taking days off school if it were an occasion in which I thought I may have to present my chest for any reason, you know, changing rooms that sort of thing, pretty standard stuff.
My self esteem became completely non existent during this time, and kids would start noticing it and picking on me because of it, well there weren’t many remarks at all at this time to tell the truth, but any comments hurt, big time. This was a little troublesome for a young boy who has just begun to notice girls etc, none of them wanted he guy with breasts, ill never figure out why. Sad  

So, things got progressively worse as time went on, I started intone of the best high schools in the country, my mother was proud. As my journey through hellschool began my heart almost exploded when I was told we would have to do compulsory swimming for the first six months of our first year.
Ah swimming, the most dreaded and degrading activity I can think of, I’ll tell you one thing, those swimming lessons bring back memories. Girls pointing and laughing, guys err pointing, laughing and pinching, you know, the sort of thing which seems like fun to one person, but ruins someone else’s entire life.  

These prevalent issues drove me to become seriously depressed, and I mean seriously depressed, I’m just that vain I guess. I therefore developed a serious online game addiction, I had always been fond of games even before I suffered from gyne, it was a natural progression, the internet is a place people can't judge, or pinch. L I became even fatter due to isolating myself with my computer, junk food and a large collection of multiplayer games. A combination a wouldn’t recommend to anyone. These factors helped me when it came to taking off around two years of high school much to my parent’s frustration and confusion. They didn't even realise what it was that was bothering me, and I was such a wreck at this time that telling anyone was utterly out of the question. You might notice how terribly I construct sentences, 3 years of missed English class, blame the gyne! Shocked

Not to be thingyy, but I was always a bright child, I managed to pull out some meagre qualifications despite missing almost half of my entire high school education.  
It was when I left high school that I hit rock bottom.
I spent around one year in my room, going outside once every three weeks or so for random things, my alcoholic dad also died around that time. This is something I’m not saying for any kind of sympathy, it’s just I don’t want to explain that whole situation, you get the main aspect of that story by me just calling him an alcoholic, although I did love him very much.
I made several attempts to dig myself out of the hole I was in, you know, trying to make myself exercise etc, all of these plans of course failed.  
It was a little later that I began to realise what was really holding me back, apart from the gyne that is. Even on the days in which I had motivated myself enough to do some exercise I would still spend around 10 hours on my computer, I was maturing into an adult, and I began to realise this was not just filling the voids in time but that I had a SERIOUS internet gaming addiction.
I stopped playing games cold turkey, which was harder that you might be able to imagine, many say its comparable to drug addiction, another difficult aspect being that my entire social life was composed of online friends.  
I felt serious symptoms of withdrawal all day every day for about 3 weeks, but I beat it, I began eating right and working out and made some new good REAL LIFE friends, although I have told none of them about my gyne. I lost almost all the weight I had put on earlier in my life, and girls began to notice me, about time. J

So, my current situation is this; I’m in good shape, slightly built and toned, my gyne is only noticeable when I actually take my clothes off, which means I am able to easily pick up girls, but due to emotional issues I can never have a girlfriend until these things are totally gone. My confidence about everything else about myself however is sky high, I couldn’t feel better about every other aspect of what I am.  
They say that spending a lot of time to yourself makes you grow, lets you understand things, what I did earlier in life has moulded me into the person I am today, someone who is open minded in understanding to others, someone who doesn’t judge. I actually regret very little about my high school years, I would have liked to do better, but I can still succeed, and I know that now, I feel for the first time ever in my life that I’m actually going somewhere.  

I finally worked up the courage to go and see a GP, he agreed that I have prevalent bilateral gyne, and that it couldn’t be due to my weight, although he agreed it was impossible to notice with my clothes on. He was the first person I have ever talked to about the subject, and was unbelievably understanding, it was so good to talk to someone, like a 20 minute orgasm J. I felt absolutely fantastic for the rest of that day, like I was on some kind of drug, it was kind of weird. Anyway, he sent a letter off to a breast consultant, to which I got a reply to come for a consultation meeting in June, I hate to take the NHS route but I got no choice, and I feel it’s the only way I can ever be happy about myself.

Gees I rambled on, If you actually read all of that kudos to you.

So, now I wait, its going to be a full four months, wish me luck !

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=4418.0

Offline aloe

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Just wanted to say I am impressed with your eloquence and also your insight and maturity.  Good luck.

Offline Tired

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I agree with the above posters. Great read, it was close to reading my own life. Atleast the emotional part of it, brought back painful memories. I wish you good luck in getting those lifewreckers removed.


 

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