Author Topic: My story  (Read 3927 times)

Offline Sam

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Iam a 17 year old straight white male.

(Its 3 o clock in the morning please dont mind my plethora of grammer and spelling errors.)

My story starts around age 13. I was in 6th grade i beleive. It started out as pain in my breasts. It was as if there was some kind of "lump" inside both of my breasts that was making them hurt. I confronted my mother on this and at the time it was kind of just blown off. That was until i went to the doctor for a physical. The doctor told me i had a condition called Gynecomastia. He told me that if it bothered me i could have a surgery preformed on it or i could loose weight. Now i have always been overweight. And honestly i have never been a big fan of excersizing. (go ahead call me a lazy slob  ;D) Anyways at that time i really was still in a decent shape and the breasts didnt really look abnormal. Sure they werent flat but they also werent anything to stare at. However things when majorly downhill from there. By the time i was 7th grade i had rather large breasts. Very noticeable. I remember swimming class in 7th grade the kids would just say stuff like, nice man breasts. you know minor insults most of them didnt really mean to be "mean" But for me things like that began to stack up. It wasn't long before i began to feel very self concience about my breasts. It started to really take hold of me. And i guess now that i look back on it i didnt realize how much damage it had already done. I began to wear button down shirts to hide them. I mean im not gonna sit here and say that my life was miserable. Some days worse than others but i got along. However by 8th grade things had become even worse. Alot of people would constantly give me titty twisters. And people began to take more of a notice of them. It began to eat me alive. I tried very hard to make myself beleive it wasn't a problem. But this was a demon that just didn't want to go away. It became a paranoia. Sure many of you reading this post have probably had worse experiances than i did but i still couldnt help fighting the personal battle with myself. So like many of you i turned the wonderful source of information on everything.. the net. At that point i began to really understand the problem that i had. After many nights awake i finally came to grips with the fact that i needed surgery. So i worked up the courage to confront my mother on it. We were on a drive when i told her that i wanted to have a surgery. I explained to her the pain it was causing me. She understood and was very supportive thankfully. So she scheduled me and appointment.  however sometime after that i kind of went through a phase where i thought i could handle living with it. I blew it off and pushed it to the side and by the time the appointement came I had made up my mind. I did not want the surgery. However mom forced me to go to the appointment anyway. Long story short i was rude to the doctor and became very defensive. When i went in that room. He laid things out for me in a way that wasn't very comfortable to me. He took my demons out and exposed them. He told me that i had a severe case of gyne. Something very worth correcting. Now naturally anybody doesnt like their demons being exposed like that so i became defensive. Waht can I say it's something that i regret. Before i left the appointment he said... "at some point he will want to have this done".....

He was damn right. I could only hide my problems for so long. Eventually my mom made it clear to me when she said "sam they are effecting you so bad that you cant even walk right"... It was true I never realized it but when i walked i walked with a hunch... a natural defense mechanism. Some of you may have iron willpower... I however did not. There came a time when i said.. Its time to stop beating myself up .. its time to change myself and my life.

However there is a major problem that i had to face. My friends. What would they think? breast Surgery... Comon its obviously a little weird. It was something that i worried endlessly about. Im not a person for keeping secrets. I hate it. I wasnt going to hide it. I finally told my cousin who is also my best friend. He was of course a little weirded out by it. But to my greatist relief he seemed cool with it. He didnt think it was too much of a big deal. The rest of my friends were about the same way. yeah it wasnt that i didnt take some comments about it but generally it seemed cool with them. It was the weight off my shoudler that i needed.

Withen a month I had surgery scheduled.
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Thats when the hellride really began. The next part of this story is not meant to make people consider other methods of getting rid of gyne. It is however to expose that plastic surgery isnt always perfect. and that you absolutly must be prepared to face risks.
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My surgery was scheduled for late august. It was to be under General Anastacia. And my doctor was going to use liposuction. It was going to be a 3 hour surgery. I had never had any kind of surgery previous to that. So i had no idea what to expect.

Let me tell you 3 hours flies by when your under G.A. In fact its as if that time never actually existed. I remember waking up in a bed with nurses all around me. I remember feeling so sick to my stomach. I felt as if i was going to vomit any second. I honestly cant describe how shitty it is waking up from that. I was also in tons of pain. However i just wanted to get home. Get home in my bed and sleep things out. So they got my ass into a wheel chair and the rolled me out. And just like that it was done. So than began the recovery.

This is the part they dont tell you much about. Recovery Sucks.

The first two days i spent bedridden. I was too sick to eat anything and to weak to move. I layed there. Watching tv. I was constantly on Vicoden so most of the time i slept.  Now there are two things that really got to me when i was recovering the first thing was the stupid ass vest they make you wear. First of all they itch ungodly and they arent exactly fat kit friendly. The second and worst part was the two tubes i had stuck in my breasts to drain the blood. I can honestly not sit here and tell you how painful and awkward it is to have tubes in that region.. much less anywhere in your body. Every 3 hours my mom would have to drain my tubes. It was a very unpleasent process. Here it is the last couple weeks of summer and im completly unable to do anything. It wasnt long before school rolled around again. Now here came another huge paranoia. How would people react to my new body. I was scared shitless. I mean people obviously noticed my breasts before what if they noticed they were gone now!? Luck was on my side though. Nobody seemed to notice anything.  What a releif. Things were looking good for me. It felt so great to wear t-shirts again and not be afraid. However as i began healing, i also began developing massive scars. These scars were huge just as noticeable with a shirt off as giant boobs were with a shirt on. I brought up this problem with my doctor and he basically said this was normal and that a touchup surgery would be needed. So we scheduled Gyne adventure under the knife #2. This time it was going to be a short surgery under local anestectic. Local anestectic was a nightmare for me. At times it was great.. uphoric lol... however as soon as it became uphoric it also became nightmarish. I began to feel sick. I remember feeling as if i was in a dream. I could see the doctors.. and i could feel my breasts being pulled on (i gatherd even in semi- consienceness that was liposuction) I remember being so out of it that i was cursing at my doctors and nurses. And then because of some drug called kettamine that they gave me. I got extremly sick and threw up all over the operating room as i was being wheeled out. God it was unpleasent. Fourtunatly however i was on my feet again by the next day. I was thankful that i could finally get this over with. But once again i was wrong. After a few months i actually had more scars and most of them were worse. I was pissed. I went in for a touchup surgery and my surgeon made things worse. On top of that summer was about to roll around meaning that i would have to face one of my favorite activites swimming. What would my friends think of my scars. I went back in to my doctor ready to plot my next step. After a couple of visits he decided to just let my scars heal naturally. So i was faced with swimming.

as before my friends were very supportive. I wont lie they were a bit repulsed by my scars but they got over it in time.   Almost a year had passed though and my scars still had not healed. They were huge. On both sides of each nipple i had scars about 3 inches long. and thick. I began to feel just as bad as i did with giant breasts. I was afraid to wear a shirt then. Now im afraid to go without one. I later found out that i had formed keeloid scars which tend to only form very rarely and only in certain people. Now i really felt screwed. Whats the chances that i form scars this bad. Probably less than 5%. Yet apparenlty murhpheys law decided to bite me in the ass. My doctor however wanted the best for me. he even agreed i did not get a good result.

So begins the next chapter of my life.

This monday i'am scheduled at 6:30 in the morning for a 1 hour surgery under G.A. to "get rid of the scars" The rest of the week i have radiation treatment every day. This will be my third surgery. And yes im pretty damn scared. I just want to get this all over with. and hopefully this time it finally will happen.

But i want to say to those people out there. Sitting in front of their screens. Insecure, worried, Self concience. There is hope in surgery. Most of you will have great results but be ready to face some hard stuff. It's the nausea and the pain  and the tubes and the vests they dont tell you a whole lot about. Its harder than you think so be ready to face challenges. And remember statistics are statistics Just cuz it says the chances of a bad result are low doesnt mean it wont happen.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=1847.0

Offline webster

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Sam, that is a tough story. But you seem to be determined and resilient and I think you'll get there in the end. I reckon in a year or so this will be but a bad memory for you. Good luck!

Offline serg

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Are you sure they gave you kettamine? That's a horse tranquiliser. In the UK it's legal only for a vet to have it...

And also Webster says, good luck. I hope things work out well for you.

Offline aux513s

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I'm too scared to get surgery now. Your post has made me see how horrible it really is.

Offline Sam

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Well you have to ask yourself.. Is my pain gonna go away if i dont have surgery. Be honest with your self. Surgery was hell for me yes it really was. I dont at all consider myself a tough guy but im not a wimp either. It is hard. alot harder than they make it seem but for most people surgery is the only option and the chances are you will have a great result. Just be ready to wake up from surgery and be in the worst pain of your life and be ready to face the challenges that surgery requires.

Gine2D

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Three surgerys plus radiation.  

What were the daily radiation treatments for?

Good luck on the scar removal operation.

G

Offline Sam

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The Radation is an attempt at keeping keeloid scars from forming again

Offline Porcupine_tree

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Man, you're a real trooper. We can all feel what you felt being mocked and critisized, but I don't think most of us know the aftermath of surgery. I think I might go see a psychologist because I'm really messed up about things, and I want him to declare me socially unstable or something like that so insurance could cover the surgery...I don't know, it's hell living with this. But congratulations on your strong will, and best of success in the future.

Offline Sam

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I'm in day 3 post surgery. I must say im doing pretty good. Only minor pain. And Radiation treatment is going fine.  Im feeling that the light at the end of the tunnel is begenning to show.

Offline trucker

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That's one tough guy, I mean psychologically.

If its finally going to be over (nothing is over, it just becomes less....bad), that should pay off for the years of hurt.

Keep us posted!

Offline gynomore

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I wonder why some people respond so differently than others.  This op has seriously been a cakewalk for me.  I read posts like this and was scared.  I had never had surgery in my life.

I am 2 days post op and feeling zero pain, I have been walking around and driving and eating since a few hours post op and have been off all meds for a day now.  Yes, I have a bulky bandage on my chest that feels like the halter top from hell, but I wonder what causes such a different reaction.

Maybe there really is a huge difference in PSes?

Offline colinosmar

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Wow. Nothing like my surgery man.  No neausea(sp) from iv sedation whatsoever, drains were completely painless and unnoticed (excpet when they removed them the day after surgery, felt weird having a tube pulled out of you, only lasts a second though so im not listing that as a complaint) no scarring whatsover, the gauze bandages are not itchy at all.  Only time i was really in pain was the morning after the surgery i hadnt bothered to take my painkillers throughout the nite, not realizing i should, big mistake, thought i was having a hernia or something, loads of pain, not fun.  However after i got a couple painkillers in me that went away and i made sure to keep up with the painkillers the rest of the recovery and pain wasnt an issue.  Outpateint surgery and the day after i had my drains removed and was wrapped in gauze, i was allowed to shower freely, and do anything i want freely, no compression vest (i wanted one).   My point is if you got scared of the surgery by posts about negative ones, dont be.  And i agree with Sam in his last paragraph that there is hope in surgery, even though it can go wrong and be painful and mess up, weigh the costvsbenefits. and think about life with gyne, or without.


 

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