Author Topic: My Experience....  (Read 2236 times)

Offline zoloftkid

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Hi,

I'm new to the site.  I'm 21 and turning 22 soon.  I've had this for as long as I can remember and for as long as I can remember I've kept it to myself.  I haven't talked to anyone that I know about it and am scared that they already know.  I don't have the most severe case of it...but it's enough to make me extremely self conscious.

Because I'm so scared that anyone find out about this, I haven't ever been in any sort of relationship.  Anytime I get that kind of attention I just fixate on the fact that nothing is going to happen cause I wont let it happen....I wish that I could get the surgery...but thousands of dollars is just tooooooo much money.  I don't know.

I did talk to a therapist that I see regularly about it, and she continues to try to get me to "accept" it...but I don't even know what that means.  I don't want this.  I don't want to be ok with this...in a way, I don't want anyone else to be ok with me having it....I just don't want it period.  But what can I do.

I would love to feel comfortable enough to let someone get close to me, but I'm terrified.  I mean, I used to be socially phobic, so even being friends with people was hard....Now, though, I can do that and I feel ready for the next step.  That, though, seems to be a step that I am unwilling to take.

This spring I was actually very happy and excited because I was getting some money this summer...but now that I researched it more and had some help from a doctor that I know....even $3000 is nothing.  Sigh.  I would just...I don't know.  Like suggestions or something.  Maybe to talk to someone who's gone through all of this and understands.  I feel like I'm drowning...and I feel powerless in this situation.  I was depressed before and I brought myself out of that...but this, this I feel I have no control in....

Thanks for any help/posts/replies....

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=18488.0

Offline Nik

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 Kid, I know exactly how you feel, but DON'T let this stop you from intimacy. Lots of girls are very easy going about it. I am now 40 and have had it since I was a teen. Ive had lots of girlfriends and a very beautiful wife for 14 years ( when I mentioned the thought of surgery, she said she didnt even notice nor cared). When I finally dumped her usless ass it wasnt very long before I found someone else. Like you, money is a factor with me but if you are a canadian resident that 3000 grand is a good start. Get a job and get a loan, dont be shy and ask your parents. I have kids and if this was an issue with them, I would help. Dont give up, I havent. I go for a consult next month.

Offline Lauterbrunnen

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I agree, that 3000 dollars is a good start. I'm starting from scratch. After about a month of saving, I have 1000 dollars. It's not much, but if I keep it up at this rate, maybe around this time next year, or earlier if I crack down on the saving more, I could have the money for surgery. I don't think I'm shooting too high with my goal, do you? Obviously, I'm going to have to take off school this semester to work and save, but there is always time for school after the surgery I guess. I think getting a loan is pretty much out of the question for me. I'm trying to do this without anyone knowing, and there is no way I could get a loan without my parents help. They probably would not help me to get a loan anyway, especially for cosmetic surgery.

Like you, I equate this to a feeling of drowning or suffocation and there's really nothing you can do. It makes me feel disgusting and inferior, and I don't do all the things I want to do because of this. Hang in there and start saving your cash! Last year when I first started researching gynecomastia surgery, I thought it was too expensive for me. However, had I started saving my money last year, most likely I would have been able to afford surgery before now. I started my current job 4 months ago, and looking at my paystub, I've made about 4000 dollars (with taxes taken out).

So don't think that this goal is unattainable. I'm about the same age as you, I'll be 21 in January. I don't want to waste all of my young years worrying about my body. I wanna get out and have fun like everyone else. I think you should, too. The only way to fix a problem is to just start working toward it. Even if it takes you a whole year, it's only one year out of your entire lifetime and then your problem is gone.

Offline upon

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Hi, i am new to this. I had surgey exactly 2 weeks back. I am putting my post op, latest photos. I am still having swelling and soreness and there is one lump like formed between my areola and axilla. i talked to doctor, he says it will be fine and would take some time to go. i am little bit worried of it. i am only having post op photos. hope someone with same situation will respond.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2009, 03:38:45 AM by upon »

Offline headheldhigh01

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Quote
she continues to try to get me to "accept" it...but I don't even know what that means.  I don't want this.  

ignore her, she's not going to understand.  she's only about 20% right.  

accept yourself.  

reject the gyne.  

you and the gyne are two separate and different things.  
« Last Edit: August 07, 2009, 03:18:44 AM by headheldhigh01 »
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?


 

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