Author Topic: Mother of a son with Gyne  (Read 6967 times)

Offline heartbrokenmom

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I am the mother of a son with Gyne.  This disease not only hurts the Guy.  But also the family to see their child suffer so.   My son told me a little while ago.  I wish I had known sooner.  I will pay and do whatever it takes to help him.  He is a wonderful son and I am glad he is my son.  I wish I could take his pain away.   He doesn't realize what a great person he is.

Sometimes he shuts me out.  I understand that is normal regardless of the gyne.  But I really worry because sometimes he talks about suicide.  He also is away at school so it is really hard for me to feel he is ok.

Can anyone tell me if this typical behavior?  I guess I want to be supportive  but don't want to intrude.

Thanks.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=302.0

Offline headheldhigh01

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probably your best bet is to talk with somebody qualified with suicide specifically, they can let you know what to be most concerned about.  

about the gynecomastia, consider giving him a pointer to this site.  there's no real substitute for learning first hand that other people suffer the same thing and know how it is.  

and applause to you for your care.  
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline jc71

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Nice to have a mom chime in. I'm sorry for your kids challenges. I can imagine how it's effected your family. Nobody wants to see their kid suffer.  I have a 10 month old boy and I jump everytime I think he's in pain.  If there's a positive in this dark cloud known as gynecomastia, it's maybe it's taught your son a lesson in humility that will help him the rest of his life. There's a lot of kids on these boards and a common fear most have is talking to their parents about this embarrassing/humiliating issue. Your kid is lucky to have a supportive mom like you.  :)

« Last Edit: February 05, 2005, 02:19:40 PM by jc71 »

Offline heartbrokenmom

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Thanks for the nice words.  This forum helps me  to understand how my son feels and acts.  I know this is painful for him so reading this forum helps because I am better to deal with him and how he feels.  It explains behaviours without me having to pry  and ask him.  I think that would make him feel very uncomfortable.

I've read things from folks about surgery and I support my son with this.  I think this surgery is good if it is done in an expert's hands.  Obviously, you would not go to a heart surgeon if you needed brain surgery.  

Also,  knowing that there is hope is always a good thing so having surgery for him is  a postivie thing.

Offline Daveo

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The heart surgeon-brain surgeon analogy is a great one, and one that I wish everyone on this forum could understand.

Offline heartbrokenmom

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This past weekend I had to get my son from college.  He WD medically. The fortunate thing is the school was great to him and they don't even know about the Gyne.   The Gyne really played a number on him and won this round.  He is extremely depressed and is almost suicidal.  I took him to our family doctor yesterday and will be setting up an appointment with a psycologist now.

My son's doctor said that this disease was more common than you think.  Then why is it so impossible for insurance companies to pay for this and also for this to even be dealt with on TV.  So a greater understanding and maybe some empathy towards the person suffering from it.


Offline Grandpa Bambu

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My son's doctor said that this disease was more common than you think.

HBM...

Yes, agreed! Gynecomastia may be much more common than everyone thinks. However, Gynecomastia is not a 'disease' like you have stated.

Merriam-Webster dictionary states 'Disease' to be:

'A condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning'

Gynecomastia for most, is an undesireable 'condition'. The dictionary states that a 'disease' is a bodily condition that 'impairs normal functioning'. Some men who have Gyne, 'funciton' quite 'normally' and some even wear bras and celebrate their breasts. To each his own!

Some women have next to no breasts or none at all. Would you say that those women are 'Diseased'? Probably not right? They are just 'smaller' than most. Well the same could be said for Gyne men. Pre pubescent girls and boys have basically the same breast 'plumbing' and it is our hormones that trigger breast developement. Some guys are just bigger than others.

During puberty, many boys will develop breasts to some extent, however, when male hormones take over, the breast development receeds and disappears. For some though ( as you know ), their breasts do not go away from lack of male hormones. There are other causes of Gynecomastia, but pubescent onset is most common.

Anyways, your son does not have a 'disease' and if it weren't for the  'Looks are most important' society we live in, men with Gyne would not feel like the social outcasts that they do.

If it weren't for the staring and teasing, I would not have bothered with surgery to correct my Gynecomastic condiditon. I could have 'functioned normaly' and lived a happy life.

The way I see it, it is the society that we live in that has the 'problem'. Not the ones who have less than ideal bodies. ;)

There have been a few shows on TV about Gynecomastia. Infact, if I hadn't watched the program 'Men With Breasts' on The Learning Channel last November, I probably would still have my Gyne to this day.

Insurance companies do not like to pay out period! They like to take but do not like to give. Insurance companies still consider Gynecomastia removal as a cosmetic proceedure and therefore will not cover the expense of surgery. It's unfortunate but that is just the way it is... :-/

John.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2005, 11:02:25 AM by Bambu »
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
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Offline toronto

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HBM...

Yes, agreed! Gynecomastia may be much more common than everyone thinks. However, Gynecomastia is not a 'disease' like you have stated.

Merriam-Webster dictionary states 'Disease' to be:

'A condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning'


A case could be made that gynecomastia does impair the normal functioning, there's a lot of things that I wish i could have done that i never did. Obviously it's not a disease in and of itself, but the side effects (loss of confidence, depression, being unhealthy because if you were active, it might require removing your shirt etc) might be...most if it's mental, is mental illness a disease?


Offline Grandpa Bambu

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A case could be made that gynecomastia does impair the normal functioning, there's a lot of things that I wish i could have done that i never did. Obviously it's not a disease in and of itself, but the side effects (loss of confidence, depression, being unhealthy because if you were active, it might require removing your shirt etc) might be...most if it's mental, is mental illness a disease?

Gynecomastia is not a disease, it's a 'Condition'. Or, possibly a 'Disorder', but not a disease.

Gynecomastia itself does not impair normal functioning. You can go swimming, but you 'choose' not to. You can play sports, but you 'choose' not to. You can go to the beach and take your shirt off, but you 'choose' not to. Gynecomastia does not prevent you from doing these and other activities.

What is preventing you from participating in many physical activities and activities that requires you to remove your shirt, is the thought of other people thinking less of you, thinking that you are a 'Freak'. You are worried that others may stare, laugh, point, tease, make fun of you right? It's your own insecurities that prevent you from doing the things that you want. Not Gynecomastia.

Gynecomastia is more of a social problem. If others didn't treat you any different, then you wouldn't develop a complex about it and life would be good. :D ;D :D

Everyone is different.... Tall, short, fat, skinny, dark skin, light skin and everywhere in between. Brown, blonde, red and black hair. Brown, green, hazel and blue eyes. People should accept others for what they are and not what they think they should be.

John.
 
« Last Edit: April 21, 2005, 04:08:09 PM by Bambu »

Offline Recreating

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People should accept others for what they are and not what they think they should be.


Obviously much  easier said than done.
Especially in this non-Disney 'real world' we all live in.

Offline heartbrokenmom

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Sorry, Didn't mean to hurt anyone by saying disease.  But, the side affects of this condition are awful.  The lack of confidence and the feelings of inadequacy are destructive.  Especially, in today's world where looks seem to be everything.    The saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Well  every culture deems this condition not beautiful.   I have read some of the messages from guys all over the world.  The torment and hurt is evident.

I do plan to take my son for a consultation for surgery.  He is also going to get the surgery if it takes my last dime.  No parent can look at their child, when he is in such inner pain, and not.

Offline Spleen

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It's your own insuecurities that prevent you from doing the things that you want. Not Gynecomastia.
 


I couldn't agree more.  You don't have to like it, and you can want to get it fixed, but the "hell" of gynecomastia is more about your attitude than anything else.  That's not to diminish or invalidate how someone feels about their appearance, but the individual needs to "own" their emotions.  

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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People should accept others for what they are and not what they think they should be.


Obviously much  easier said than done.
Especially in this non-Disney 'real world' we all live in.

Yeah, that's what I mean.  ;)

John.

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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I do plan to take my son for a consultation for surgery.  He is also going to get the surgery if it takes my last dime.  No parent can look at their child, when he is in such inner pain, and not.

Now that's devotion! Your son is lucky to have such a caring Mother!

Can I adopt you as my second Mom?  :-*

BTW, you didn't hurt my feelings ;).

John.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2005, 04:27:16 PM by Bambu »

Offline toronto

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Sorry, Didn't mean to hurt anyone by saying disease.  But, the side affects of this condition are awful.  The lack of confidence and the feelings of inadequacy are destructive.  Especially, in today's world where looks seem to be everything.    The saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Well  every culture deems this condition not beautiful.   I have read some of the messages from guys all over the world.  The torment and hurt is evident.

I do plan to take my son for a consultation for surgery.  He is also going to get the surgery if it takes my last dime.  No parent can look at their child, when he is in such inner pain, and not.


your son is very lucky, i wish you both luck, my surgery is soon, can't wait


 

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