Author Topic: Joystick's Story  (Read 1950 times)

Offline Joystick

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Hello everyone. My name is Steve, and I've had gynecomastia since I was at about the age of 12. Before you read my story, I'd like to start off by saying that I know how mild my own case is, but I still feel for all of you.

   My experience with gynecomastia began when I was about 12 years old. I have always been 100% satisfied with my body except for my "lump" in my right breast. I discovered this lump one night before bed when--for some reason that was far beyond me at that point in time--my nipples felt very sore. So, as any person would, I just gave it the ol' full palm rub as you would with any kind of sore muscle or whatever. Something wasn't right though, in each of my pecs I noticed that they both had small lumps in them; as if I had another nipple below the real deal that was hard for some reason. I consider myself to be an individual of fair intelligence, so I gathered that it was probably just some hormone thing as I was just entering puberty. It didn't make me look any different, so I didn't really pay too much attention to it; seeing as how my only real fear was being ridiculed in front of other people--it still is.

   When I was 14 and just starting high school, my left "lump" was completely gone and I actually had a regular pec like my big brothers. However, my right side was another story. At that age, I only weighed 'round 120 pound and at 5' 6" and counting; so I was naturally pretty darn skinny. My right breast was noticeably bigger, but I was lucky. I was blessed with several friends who were mature and intelligent enough to understand my problem. I didn't want to go to the pool, I didn't want to go to the beach and take my shirt off, and I definitely didn't want to change in the locker room after PE with all of the bigger kids (we weren't required to shower, thank god). I just changed in the locker room with my back turned and nobody knew any better. One of my good friends that I joked with about my "man boob" was a girl. A girl that I liked. I eventually started dating her and she was completely kosher about the whole thing. That was until I had asked my doctor about it while in for a routine check-up. Before then, I never knew the actual name for my condition; but I asked my doctor and he said I had a very mild case of unilateral gynecomastia and it was probably just caused by a hormonal imbalance. He also told me that there was a good possibility that it could be linked to testicular cancer. My girlfriend had had a sister that died of brain cancer, and she couldn't handle the fact that I had a condition possibly related to testicular cancer. Instead of being a man and letting my doctor feel me up for any extra tissue on my two boys, I let go the first girl that I actually loved. Yeah yeah, laugh because I thought I was in love at 14, but I was. I still know the girl today and we both still have a thing for eachother. Who knows? Maybe someday it'll work out between us.

   After that whole ordeal, I tried to figure out ways to boost my testosterone and get rid of my lump so that I didn't have to be embarassed with my shirt off, trying to flex my left pec all the time to make it look normal to the untrained eye. I started lifting weights on a regular basis, partying with my older brothers, lost my virginity to a girl I barely even liked, and did a lot of other stupid things that I shouldn't have done. I got addicted to lifting weights purely for the strength part of it rather than looks, and still do it every day for 2-3 hours (I'm a loser, I know). Nothing fixed it. I didn't fully expect anything to make my boob smaller anyway, being pessimistic as I am. My chest got bigger, and I was lucky again in having the body type that I do. My man boob didn't look any bigger than it did when I was 14 in comparison to my left pec. Oh well, I thought, people are semi-understanding just as long as you get to talk to them one-on-one and not be the butt of a big joke in front of a lot of people. I still don't like to change my shirt around other people that I don't know.

  When I was approaching 16, I met another girl and dated her for nearly 2 years.  Again, I was blessed with a girl who understood and that I could talk to. Her name was Katie and I thought she was the love of my life before she went to college. To be completely honest, the only reason that I went with her was because my self esteem was extremely low; as I'm sure anyone on these boards can fully understand and relate to. I have a tendency to not let myself to close to anyone else for some reason (likely related to my confidence issue), and my relationship with her went on the rocks and we broke up 3 times in total before completely breaking it off after she cheated on me at college. Some lover eh? Screw it, I said, there's other fish in the sea. I'm still searching though...  :-/

   Today, I'm almost 18 years old, and I am currently a DEP enlistee as a Navy Nuke to be shipped July, 2007. My pectorals are developed quite well, yet I still have a hardened tissue mass on top of the muscle in my right pec that is a (very small) handfull. My point is that no matter how big it is, if you know that you have it, you can never be completely happy and/or comfortable with your body. Blessed as I was with 2 wonderful girls, I still screwed myself because of my condition that did me well in saying that it wasn't noticeable and they wouldn't have even known if I hadn't have told them about it. I knew they were lying, but it's still nice to have people like that in your life.

   My story didn't turn out quite as well as I had it in my head before I was falling asleep at the keys, yet I'm still sure that there are more than a few people who can relate to it.

   My question for you guys is this--should I keep my condition for at least 6 more years through my time in the Navy, or get the surgery now to renew myself while also possibly jeopardizing my eligibility to serve? I have very strong feelings about both sides, so I really don't know what to do.

Thank you for reading this, as meaningless as it probably was. I just need SOMEONE to hear my story and tell me that it's ok the feel the way I do.

Edit: I'll post pictures sometime this week when I find my camera lol

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=7415.0
« Last Edit: November 07, 2006, 10:04:12 PM by Joystick »

Offline headheldhigh01

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meaningless hell, it's a perfectly fine story, most of us know all you talked about from experience, so welcome to the boards.  if it were me i'd be thinking about talking to the military about possibly getting an op with them, assuming they could connect you to someone who knew basic modern gyne techniques.  i doubt it directly jeopardizes your ability to serve, it hasn't caused you problems yet, but you shouldn't have to hide it either, since from another angle it has some potential to be disruptive to both cohesion and your morale.  oh yeah, and peaceful seas to you when you ship.  
« Last Edit: November 09, 2006, 09:24:24 PM by headheldhigh01 »
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline 808gyno

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  • Upon further review, I'm not as cool as I thought.
In this online community, that story is anything BUT meaningless, brother.  All here can relate to your suffering and confusion.  Good luck in whatever you choose to do.


 

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