Author Topic: It all came out......  (Read 1643 times)

Offline Entouragee

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I Had a huge change in my life yesterday and thought I would share it with some people who many be skeptical of sharing this condition with family. I have surgery scheduled with Doctor Elliot Jacobs this month, and I didn't even tell my family. I had hired a nurse and booked a hotel and told them I was headed off for spring break. While I was out last night I got a phone call and heard my dad yelling at me to get home and flipping out, but he didn't tell me why. When I got home he was sitting in the living room with the folder from Jacobs office that I had hid in my closet to keep this a secret. After taking heavy fire and being told I'm not having the surgery and that were getting a refund, I started to explain my story and how this has effected my life, and how embarrassing it is, and much more you can imagine. After about 45 minutes my dad was on board and I'm really happy hes going to be the one there to pick me up and drive me home that day and I don't need to hide this for the rest of my life. If your in a situation like I was were I was to embarrassed to talk to my own family even please give in. I didn't realize how much my parent's cared about me until yesterday.


Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=22870.0
« Last Edit: April 04, 2011, 08:24:01 PM by Entouragee »

Offline zado611

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that is awesome plan to share with my parents that i want them to take me to a consultation after our lil vacation is over.. this time the aim is to not tell them that they will have to pay for it like i did the first time.. but this time i wrote out a letter explaining everything and how i feel and that i am willing to get a job and pay the loan off during summer and college.. hope they let me do it.. WISH ME LUCK:).. this could be the fresh start I need to get out of this deep depression that ive been in so long.. could i be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel:)

Offline waves

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Hey Entouragee, what a great story and congrats, that is really awesome!  I did the whole surgery thing and the only person in the world that knew was my wife.  I had to fly across the country and wake up in the hospital with no one there other than an overworked nurse to greet me.  It will be really great for you to have your father there.  Congrats again and good luck with your surgery!

Offline Paa_Paw

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Most parents are pretty good when they understand.
Grandpa Dan

Offline abdrah

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Fully agree. Most parents would understand and don't want their children to suffer a condition alone. I was quite embarrassed of telling my parents, but I just broke the news to my dad about my scheduled surgery. He was actually in shock that I did not tell him about my condition earlier and was plenty supportive. My mum was the skeptical one, asking whether it could be done any other way (surprised me cos i'm actually closer to my mum. dad's an authoritative figure).

But it's all good now. Over 3 months post-surgery, and I don't obsess over gyno anymore.  :D

Offline George Pope, M.D.

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Understand that no one cares more about you than your parents do.  Your dad's initial reaction was probably one of surprise and fear for your safety.  It's great to hear that it didn't take him long to get on board with your decision to have surgery.

I've told this story on this forum before, but one of my sons was fairly heavy during high school.  He always swam in a tee shirt, and I thought that was because of his weight.  He had some facial acne at the time, and he was started on Accutane.  That's when I found out that he had pretty severe acne on his shoulders and back.  That's the reason he swam in a shirt.  I felt bad that as a doctor and father, I was unaware of his condition and he didn't feel comfortable confiding in me.  Once again, your parents are your biggest fans.  Don't be afraid to confide in them.

Dr. Pope, MD
George H Pope, MD, FACS
Certified - American Board of Plastic Surgery
Orlando Plastic Surgery Center
www.georgepopemd.com
Phone: 407-857-6261

Offline Raider Fan

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Quite true, doc.  It's too bad that more sons don't feel comfortable telling their parents about the misery gynecomastia has caused (or IS causing).  I think a lot of guys just don't think their parents will understand or it's just too embarrassing for them to discuss.  But your parents love you like no one else does.  

What sons should think about in a situation like this is that nobody is going to "feel your pain" quite like your parents will.  If you explain the situation in a calm and rational manner, tell them how you feel about it, share your education with them on the subject (they probably don't know as much about it as you do), and then SHOW them your chest and the reason it's making you miserable, then they are sure to understand and know immediately where you're coming from.  No parent can stand seeing their child suffer.  Also, parents can easily imagine themselves in your position. Contrary to what it may seem, it hasn't been that long ago since your parents were your age.  Dads can easily imagine what it would be like to go through life embarrassed to even take off your shirt.  Parents know the heartache that goes with being made fun of at school.  Everyone has experienced it and we can all relate to the misery it causes to be embarrassed in front of your peers.  

When parents can adequately understand the situation and obviously see how much pain and misery it's causing, more often than not, they will be on board with getting the situation corrected as soon as possible.  It's rare that any parent is going to shrug their shoulders and not try to do something/anything to help their child.  They will do whatever they need to do to help you.  

Put yourself in their position.  If they came to you, upset and wanting/needing help, you know you'd do anything you could to help them.  That's what families do.

 

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