Author Topic: I told my mom. (Hard thing to do) [Long read]  (Read 4995 times)

Offline Carn

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So I finally got the nerve to talk to my mom about gynecomastia with her. It was very tough thing to do and I honestly had not planned on telling her or my dad for awhile but the moment seemed right. But I look back on it and it really wasn't, but screw it. It could have gone alot worse.

Let me start from the beginning.(So you can understand how I randomly started mentioning my problem)
(You can skip this part if you want)

It is 6pm and I've finished working out in my garage. I go upstairs and take a shower. I enter my room about 15 minutes later and my friend starts to call me. I pick up and he tells me "Hey, grab you shit. We're going to play basketball". I responded with "I just took a damn shower man, I'm tired as hell". After about 30 seconds of "convincing" me with with "We only got 5, we need a 6th for atleast a 3 on 3". So I wasn't going to let my buddies down and answered back with an "Okay". I got my shorts and tshirt on and headed downstairs.

My mom made dinner, so I sat with her infront of the t.v and ate. We were talking about my life and what my plans are in the future, what kind of job do I want to get now and a bunch of other shit. So we were in a pretty deep discussion, although not to deep to make me turn down my buddy's basketball reques ;D. And just out of nowhere, I told me mother "Mom, I think I've got something to tell you". I had NOT planned this at all. I took a long pause and tried to avoid eye contact. The way she looked at me when I said that one line was unforgettable. She looked at me like I did something wrong and was in big trouble and was in so much unbelievable shit I had to resort to talk to her. I was thinking of doing it another way, like writing a letter and putting it beside my parents bed so they'd read it and I wouldn't have to deal with explaining my problems(read that somewhere here). I told her: "Mom...(5 second pause)... I have GUY-nuh-coh------muhstiuahauh (I litterally said it like that)." It was like I wanted me to say it, but I was too afraid and tried to take it back inbetween but then decided "darn it", I'm going through with this.

Well, she said she knew I've had this problem, but just thought it was fat. She said "yeah you've seemed to have a tough time with it" and "it really seemed to bother you". I was relieved that she understood how I  felt without telling her, which gave me less things to tell and explain to her. I explained to her I've been on these forums getting information about it.

I noted the time, 6:45, and remembered I promised my buddy I'd meed them around 7. So this gave me like 15 minutes to explain my entire surgery planned. I quickly told her about MSP paying for it and I want the surgery done in Toronto instead of here, in Vancouver, but the liposuction will cost me and bunch of other shit. Once I finished, I made sure to ask her if she understood and knew what I told her. I asked because I hope she'll explain this to my dad so that I wouldn't open up and talk about this twice. Doing it the first time was hard enough and you wouldn't expect it, but the 2nd time with another person will feel just like the first time.

7:10 arrived and my dad came home. I got my shoes on and tried to leave a fast as possible. I acted like nothing was said between my mom and I. When I finally left I was shocked at what I did. For the first few minutes after that I tried to understand, in my head, what had just happened. "Did I really go through with this?", "Did she really understand everything I told her?", "Will she tell dad?", "Was I stupid for bringing it up getting my parents into my problem?" and so much more.

Well, here I am about 8 hours later, at 3am, telling you my story. I dont know if my mom told my dad but, I know tomorrow morning will be an awkward day for me.  

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=6639.0
« Last Edit: September 03, 2006, 05:31:02 PM by eim9 »

londonman

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You've faced up to a problem and are doing something about it. I can't see how they won't be anything but supportive and admire your courage.


Offline headheldhigh01

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agreed.  this is good, you're over the hump, it's downhill from here.  you don't have to discuss it with the dad now unless you or he choose to, and it lets you proceed without skulking around in secrecy.  

sometimes what comes out of my mouth surprises me too, but it's usually for the best.  
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline Carn

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Well, it's already night the next day and nothing else has been said between my mom and I. Still not sure if my dad knows but atleast now I can make the call to Dr. Fielding and get a date set for a consultation. I'm hoping it will sometime late September or early October. A disadvantage of going to Dr Fielding is that he's so good and cheap that he's always booked

I just want this hole thing to be over with before I start school (taking a break so I can work now and not be interuptted with my job once I start school so that I can concentrate on my studies) and I can join some sport clubs.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2006, 05:30:48 PM by eim9 »

Offline Carn

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I'm probably going to see an endocrinologist before I call in for a consult with Dr. Fielding. I'm hoping nothing it wrong with me on a hormnal perspective.

I don't really see anything wrong with me other than my gyne. I've had chest hair, pubic hair and facial hair for a long long time. But you never know I guess, right?

EDIT: I hope I can see an endo as quickly as possible. I want to have my gyne removed before January.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2006, 08:55:44 PM by eim9 »

Offline Paa_Paw

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Congratulations,

The hardest part is now over.

Progress through the other steps will take a bit of time but once you have a plan, the problem is nearly resolved.
Grandpa Dan

Offline supaaman

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Hey man,

That took a lot of courage.  Well done.  I went to Fielding.  You're in good hands.  The whole thing is much easier than telling your mom!
JCF  Success Story - Surgery Aug 23, 2006

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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Hey man,

That took a lot of courage.  Well done.

Yes, that took some balls dude. My hat is off to you my man! I've yet to tell my Mom and Dad. Prolly never will either.  :-/

But then I'm 42 and in a bit different situation than U.

John.
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
Pre-Op/Post-Op Pics

Offline Carn

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Thanks guys. I only had the balls to tell my mom because of all the support from you guys. So I don't think I should be taking all the credit because without knowing about this site, and the people here, I probably would have never gone through with what I've done. You all have truly helped me along me process and will continue to till the end...

"End" being after my surgery...not my death, haha.

I'll be making the call to Dr.Fielding as soon as possible. Probably on Monday.

Offline Give me Life

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Surgery done on Sept 6th, 2006 with Dr. Fielding - Toronto. Not 100% cured but will get there for sure !!!
----------------------------------------------------

Revision done on December 7th, 2007. Let's hope for best !!!
-------------------------------------------

Dr. Fielding
Suite #401, 2425 Bloor Street West, Toronto

Tel: 416.766.88

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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I'll be making the call to Dr.Fielding as soon as possible. Probably on Monday.

Awesome dude....  GL!

John.

Offline nomoregyno

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First off, Mom's know everything!!!  Put yourself in her shoes and how would you approach your son telling him he has woman boobs?  It would of been harder for her to tell you.  You did the right thing.  

Im 30 now and I had it since high school.  I never told anyone and had to hide it all the time.  Girls used to always ask me why I never wanted to take off my shirt.  I used to have girls taking it off for me, and I would shy away making them feel like I was a **ssy.  Anyhow, now that I am 30, I can finally afford to get it removed.  I did so last week and I feel so much better now.  I am not healed all the way, but I can just feel it.  

By the way.. I have two daughters and I would ALWAYS want them to tell me these things.   It should never be an issue.
Good luck my friend!!  

Offline Carn

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Quote

First off, Mom's know everything!!!  Put yourself in her shoes and how would you approach your son telling him he has woman boobs?  It would of been harder for her to tell you.  You did the right thing.  


Yeah, I guess you're right.

I still havn't called Fielding yet. Too much stuff going on and I don't know the hours that Fielding takes calls for a consult. When I get back from work, it's almost 6 and considering Toronto is 3 hours again, it's 9pm there. So I always just keep telling myself I'll do it tomorrow but havn't had the chance... Ugh.

Offline puffnip4

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I know what your going through. Just to let you know, once you do get the surgery don't expect to look like a ripped cheezmo...I had the surgery 4 mths ago, and still not happy. Yes my chest is alot smaller but my nips are still puffy and the bottom of my chest is sagging, it still looks bad. The doctor keeps telling me it's takes a year to heal, I think he is full of $#!T....I paid alot of money for this and i'm still not happy. You know what, try and deal with the gyne. You'll never be totally satisfied with the surgery. I guess we expect to much. I still can sit in a chair without messing with my chest in some way. This gyne sucks but you know what, life could be worse than this. Even with the gyne, I still got girls, I thought after the surgery I would feel more confident, I don't really. Nothing has changed...The people that say it changed their life must have had D cups...All the best!!

Offline headheldhigh01

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pn, did your doc have you wear a vest post op?  


 

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