Author Topic: A Chronological History Of My Life  (Read 11350 times)

Offline Kevin

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1984
     I was born

1989
     When I was five I somehow knew I was gay, my pre-teen years went as normal as any one could have.

1995
     At eleven years old I started developing gynecomastia, it took one comment from my uncle during a swimming session about how big my breasts are for a man, I got cut so deep that I have been avoiding swimming or going shirtless in public ever since. I am forced to hide my breasts by hunching the shoulders and wearing layers of shirt, I felt that I am hideous and I have been self-conscious and ashamed of myself ever since.

1995       Due to financial problems my parents started a new business, while it brought more wealth to us over time, it also caused my parents to spend less time with me. I did not take this transition well because I needed their guidance more than ever before at this time of confusion and I felt that they have emotionally neglected me. Given how poor we were I knew they had no choice.

1998       I got my internet connection
1999       In an effort to make this gynecomastia go away I started lifting weights and exercising, although the rest of my body became fit my gynecomastia didn't go away.
1999       Towards the end of the year at mid-fifteen I became a porn addict. With me home alone, with parents obsessed with business, with very low self esteem and with the unlimited porn I discovered from the internet - it is the recipe for sex addiction. My values deteriorated, I no longer cared about doing my home work. Masturbation was used to cope with life.
2000       At 16 after a track-record of good grades and always being in the 'cream of the crop' throughout high school, my internal crises finally begins to take its toll. My grades started to drop towards the end of high school but I was able to graduate, barely.

Throughout high school I dreaded PE classes, I walked and sit hunching the shoulders in an attempt to hide my breasts. The more self-conscious I become the more people notice it. Because I think I am an oddity, I only got a few close friends. This self-consciousness about my breasts occurred everyday, it was torture.
2000       It was this time that I found out about gynecomastia from the internet but I was not ready and too afraid to have surgery. I went to an endocrinologist to have my hormones checked and found out that my testosterone level is normal. Nevertheless, I took testosterone pills thinking that my gyne is the cause of low testosterone. Although the testosterone pills made me grow more huskier nothing happened to my gynecomastia. It did not grow bigger but it remained the same size as it were before so after about half a year of taking testosterone I stopped completely. I did all these without  my parents knowing because I was too embarrassed to tell them and they are too busy to care about my needs beyond material and food anyways.
2000       My sex addiction is in full swing and it is this time that I started having one night stand with numerous people. Sex is my only way to cope. I started college at this time.
2002       I dropped out of college.
2003       I have taken an interest in investing.
October, 2004       Hit rock bottom. I had for the first time had unprotected sex with a partner of unknown status (the condom broke) I am scared to death, I will be taking a HIV test in 3 months to see if I am positive or not. I completely stopped any sexual activity in the mean time. Depending on the results it will affect my plan for 'Self-Restoration' in the near future. I have identified two major problems in my life - Gynecomastia and Sex Addiction. I have decided to get rid of gynecomastia first before I can stop sex addiction.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=111.0
Surgery with Dr. Lasa - Ph 5/21/2005 (Liposuction only) My Pictures

Offline unsure

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thats a strong story

are you going to get the surgery?

I got the surgery and looking back on it all, i have learned to mpte the difference between the physical condition of gynecomastia and the emotional condition.

Having to layer up, and not be shirtless is no fun.  If you were teased thats even worse.

but in terms of the physical condition, the glands or lumps are irregular, unwanted, tumour like growths on your body.  The procedue and solution (if you can afford it, it is quite simple, to get them removed)

Offline Kevin

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  • Having lipo is like going to the dentist its done
Yes considering what had happened to me because of gyne I would consider surgery in a heartbeat. If I came out HIV positive then it will be difficult for me to get a surgery.

Offline headheldhigh01

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sounds like you're being completely honest.  if anyone has a chance at intelligently dealing with what lies ahead, this is how.  
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline jc71

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  • Wilma, grab the lotion, we're going to the beach!
A lot of people can relate to your situation, you are certainly not alone.  Sounds like your parents have a little $, hopefully they'll help with cost of surgery if you have it. That HIV is tough, if you come back positive, might be difficult to find a Dr. willing to do the surgery. That possible HIV really puts gyne into perspective.  Makes it not seem so bad.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2004, 07:11:47 PM by jc71 »

Offline Kevin

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Semi-WooHoo! ;D So far my 3 month test is NEGATIVE I still have to get tested in another 3 months for a 6 month definitive result. I am cautiously optimistic. Now I am taking charge my my life. First step I am going to get myself a General Physician and have him do a physical and hormone blood work on me. I hope he know alot of PS here in the Philippines that has experince with gynecomastia.  ;D
« Last Edit: January 25, 2005, 10:35:43 PM by kkl »

Offline Kevin

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I'm definitely going to seek the help of doctors in the coming weeks.
I will find an endocrinologist and plastic surgeon for my gynecomastia
and possibly a psychiatrist. Depending on my budget I may
first find a General Physician. I am not covered in any medical
insurance so I'll be footing the bills myself with the help of my parents.

Do you recommend to first visit a GP and let them refer you to Endocrinologists and PS, or go straight to an Endocrinologist and have him refer you to a PS.
Kevin
« Last Edit: January 28, 2005, 04:18:29 PM by kkl »

Offline Kevin

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Well I went to an edocrinologist today and he ordered a blood test for
TSH IRMA
LH RIA
Testosterone RIA
DHEAS RIA
To my disappointment there isn't a test measuring the "Free Testosterone" in the body here in the Philippines  :(  Results will be due next week :)
He did the usual stuff and hand examined my gyne :) He told me that there has been basketball players who consulted him about gyne and he knew a PS who do gyne surgeries and had them referred to him  ;D Im suprised there are PS who do gyne in this country.

I took some pictures of my gyne with my cell just visit
http://www.geocities.com/likevin.geo/gyne/

Finally, I told my parents about my gyne today when I came home from the hospital and they seem to be supportive.  My father offered to foot the docs bill and he told me to choose a good surgeon ;D I can't wait to have the surgery! ;D
« Last Edit: February 04, 2005, 08:29:09 PM by kkl »

Offline headheldhigh01

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congrats, way to take the initiative.  

Offline Kevin

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Unfortunately what society idealizes - the muscular male physique - is more important to me than private sexual preferences of my partners.  I would rather regain my posture, have a great masculine body, and walk confidently on the streets than be self concious all the time and have desperate sex fulfilling fetishes of some men. Honestly of all the sexual encounters I've had only 2 really desired my 'breasts', most just pretend they didn't see it. Once a guy I was with asked if I did a surgery to make my breasts big, I said no but if he liked it, and he said NO, he doesn't like pointy breasts.

The risk associated with living with gyne for the rest of my life which can lead to depression, psychiatric disorder, and risk of getting infected with HIV far outweighs the risk associated with surgery and Testosterone Replacement Therapy. I am willing to take the latter.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2005, 12:31:33 AM by kkl »

Offline Kevin

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I got my results yesterday:

TSH IRMA TURBO = 2.372  Normal Range is 0.27 - 3.75
LH Male = 4.79 Normal Range 0.40 -5.70
DHEAS Male = 11.91 Normal range 2.16 - 15.01
Testosterone = 386.69 Normal range 270.0 -1070
Estradiol = 38.21 Normal Rance 0 - 44
« Last Edit: April 10, 2005, 11:38:15 PM by kkl »

Offline Kevin

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I have decided to get tested on April 20 or 21 to speed things up. The mix of emotions of intense widthrawal, anxiety over the hiv test and excitement over the surgery is driving me mad! I will have to endure these emotions for 9 - 10 days even if it feels like being suffocated in a gas chamber!

I am becoming more and more anxious as the days leading to my test and surgery nears. I started to become overly conscious of my breasts because its going to be removed! As a result I am hearing people at my workplace saying "may dede" which means have breasts in tagalog.

While I was alone having lunch today at a local Jollibee restaurant, I heard a kid asking his father "Bakit parang babae" which means why I am like a woman! @#$%@$$%#$%^%@! darn that little bastard! I looked at him in the eye and he immediately stopped.

***

After the test I know big and drastic changes will happen to my life. I hope I am negative! If so I will be interviewing surgeons for my operation, get the surgery done, stabilize my hormones then start working out! I can't wait to have a new body and a new life! I am longing to get back the self confidence I have lost for a very long time. I want to be able to walk shirtless on beaches and wear tank tops to malls and show off my body!

All those years of enduring people teasing me as "breasts, abnormal, womanlike, etc." and all those years of hiding will suddenly disappear! It will hopefully be replaced with a great body which I can show off to everybody!

Kevin

Offline boobhater22

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Kevin:

I don't think you look that bad at all with gyne. Your case seems fairly mild to me.

I hope for your sake you do test negative. I think addressing your promiscuity is probably a much bigger issue than your gyne, since ... as you know, it can lead to HIV and cause death.

I guess I have always been a tad conservative and never really felt the need to be promiscuous, but as a gay male...I have just been waiting for the right man to come along, and thus I have been celibate for a year and a half. Why possibly destroy your life on cheap carnal thrills with someone who you know isn't mr. right? It'd be different if this was the pre-HIV era, but...it isn't.

I admire that you see it is a problem and seek to correct it! It sounds like you are on the road to recovery from sex addiction! Good for you!

Good luck! I hope the results are negative!

Offline Kevin

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Self-esteem ... is as integral to health and well-being as any medical issue. Gyne must go.

Offline Kevin

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Well I have conclusively tested negative of hiv and have undergone a search for plastic surgeons in my area. After interviewing 3 surgeons, the first does excision alone the second said I do not have gynecomastia while the third does liposuction alone.

After factoring out the surgeons skills, the severity of my case, budget and convienience (outpatient vs. hospitalization). I have decided to go with the plastic surgeon who will use tumecent liposuction alone to reduce my gynecomastia.  The procedure is outpatient and will cost $1000 under local tumecent anesthesia and sedation.

This is as good as it gets in the Philippines. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my gynecomastia will be mostly composed of fats and fibers so that the liposuction will be effective. I am fully aware that liposuction alone will not eliminate all glandular breast tissues.

My case is not severe and when palpitated it feels soft and tender, no hard lumps, but it feels fibrus.  Most doctors I have seen also commented the same and that my gyne is a moderate case.

So my liposuction surgery is scheduled on May 21, wish me luck guys!

Here are new pictures of me with my nipples relaxed:  http://www.geocities.com/likevin.geo/gyne2/


 

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