Gynecomastia Support Forum

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: Conor W on May 08, 2021, 12:19:18 PM

Title: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 08, 2021, 12:19:18 PM
Hi . Been lurking on this forum. Did a lot of research reading the posts.  I’m 18 and hopefully off to university in September. I have been chesty since I was 13, saw a doctor last year who said it was gynecomastia which I sort of knew. She said there’s nothing they can do about it at the minute. I had a blood test. 

I tried to hide it but my mum said something about it when I was 16. I let her see in summer. She said they were feminine in appearance - which they are and they are big now. She ended up buying a couple of chest binders off the internet which sort of worked and flattened them down to wear going out and at college. They are hot and get sore. I didn’t wear them a lot last year on the days studying  at home due to Covid. 
At the start of the year , my mum suggested wearing bras. It’s like she had been trying to find a way and i was dreading it.  She said just around the house as it will be comfier and they will be supported. My Dad just seems to accept it and doesn’t get involved. My mum is quite a strong woman and he generally likes  a quiet life!   She said they are very feminine in shape and a bra would be better. My 16 year old sister has been commenting but in a jokey fashion saying I’m the same size as her or I was bouncing around all over the place - get a bra on.  I don’t know what my mum  has said but she obviously sees me round the house in a t shirt as does my dad. I can see them looking. 
She bought some bras. She knew my chest size and the difference from the doctors measurements. I said I’d think about it. The following morning she talked me into trying one. I looked in the mirror and looked stupid in boxer shorts and a white bra. But my boobs looked like I had cleavage and under a t shirt it was obvious I was wearing one. She said no one would say anything. My dad ignored it when he saw me. My sister smirked, cheered and then said at last, you got a bra.

She got me a few bras and has since got me a few more. I am the same as my younger sister cup wise - b- but I need a bigger chest 44. She got them off the internet as she said they are plus size. They are a bit lacey and some are under wired, some not. They do make me comfier and stop me bouncing. I have worn them out in winter under baggy clothes but not to college. 

So advice. How do I move forward ? I have never told my friends but I know a few female friends know I have breasts. They never said anything. My male friends - I don’t know. I know they look at my chest. 

Just not sure how I move forward.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on May 08, 2021, 05:15:09 PM
It would increase confidence to buy some shirts that minimize showing off any bra outline. I think almost any basic T shirt runs the risk of letting the imprint of bra strap to show through. I find confidence every day in a button down pattern shirt that is a relaxed fit. With a T shirt, at least try some with darker colors and patterns. 

By eliminating any concern of a bra outline showing through you can go off to collage in confidence and enjoy the comfort and containment of wearing a bra.

Many here have felt that a bra can reduce the visual impact of having a bust line by reducing attention getting bounce and improving the shaping of your chest. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 08, 2021, 05:18:33 PM
It's no one's business that either you have breasts or you wear a bra for them. Don't wear shirts that are form fitting or tight. Also, don't wear baggy shirts if they are not supposed to be baggy. A denim jacket or other type causal jacket can help. From what you said, you can't hide them, so you need to do things to pull the eye away from your chest. Wearing clothes that are appropriate and fit, button downs with a little room in the chest and darker colors and bras that are NOT white. White shows through quicker than anything. Skin tones, also called neutral or nude are better. Also, you might want to wear a thin layer undershirt or tank to help smooth out any bra lines or hardware outline. Out in public ignore the fact if anyone does look, 90% won't notice another 9% won't be sure what they saw and the 1% that does notice, most likely won't say a thing and will 9 times out of 10 be women who will either ignore you or give you a reassuring smile. Again, it's none of their business.

I have had breasts since I was 14. I am now well into adulthood. I wear 36E (UK) bras and hardly anyone notices. I don't give them a reason to and they don't. Confidence is your best friend. And we are here as support as well because many of us wear bras ourselves.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 08, 2021, 05:35:59 PM
Thanks Guys. 
I have been wearing them under thicker shirts and t shirt in winter. Summer time is going to be the challenge. I’m sort of used to it round the house and feel wrong without it. 
My mum got be four bras from the internet. It sort of feels a bit odd talking to her about it. She asked if I was ok but doesn’t really mention it. I maybe need to ask if she can get me some different colours so it doesn’t show as much but I don’t want to look like I want lingerie or something. 
I’m close to telling two of the girls I’m friends with. I’m sure they know. But just don’t say. My boobs fill the bra  and  one of them it’s getting tight. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: SideSet on May 08, 2021, 06:23:00 PM
 You sound like you’re doing a great job of handling things. I know it’s not easy, because I was there at your age. You’re really lucky that your mom is so supportive, helpful, and understanding. Great that you have a couple good female friends you trust. I wouldn’t hold back on discussing things with them.

 I know you can’t imagine it now, but there will come a time when putting on your bra when you get dressed will be second nature to you just like it is to all the other women 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: MarcoB on May 09, 2021, 01:46:59 AM

Quote
I find confidence every day in a button down pattern shirt that is a relaxed fit. With a T shirt, at least try some with darker colors and patterns. 

I've been enjoying polo shirts with varying widths of stripes, some stripes being black or at least dark.  Examining myself in the mirror at different angles and lighting, I cannot see any evidence of my gray bra with this shirt, even without an undershirt.  (It was not available in skin color.)  If the weather is cool enough though, I'll definitely put a black undershirt under the shirt.

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 09, 2021, 04:57:54 AM
Ok, thanks. I think I’m just going to have to cope with summer with layers and stripes. I sort of am used to wearing them around the house and the binder tops feel so uncomfortable.

I asked my mum this morning about different colours. She said she’ll get some and asked if it was better than the binder now I’m used to it. . Worryingly she said pink are good and basically told me to try one of my sisters pink ones which she took. My boobs look bigger in it if anything but I think it’s one that does that.  And it feels strange wearing pink. She also said good luck on hiding them. I could see my sister looking this morning and I hoped mum hadn’t told her. My dad is away with work thankfully.  But the doctor said they would just review later this year. I said how am I going to get through summer. I don’t think we are planning on going to a hot country but she’s booked a cottage in the country. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on May 09, 2021, 07:17:29 AM
Both my mother and my sister started me out with wearing a bra when I was about your age. My mother sat me down for "the bra talk". She gave me several hand me down bras from my sister when I was 12 because I had a very clear need for the support. My sister gave me others that she didn't like. I wore them off and on for a few years. When I was 16 years old, I had another bra talk and this time I should really wear a bra all the time. I toldnher I would but, I wanted my own. She took me bra shopping and I had my first fitting and I started wearing underwire bras because that's what my sister was wearing.. I was a 34C and I've been wearing a bra every day since.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 09, 2021, 09:46:47 AM
Well, I guess we had the bra talk at Christmas. Uncomfortable as it was but I expected it to come given how they look and feel, what the doctor said and the fact they don’t seem to be in a hurry to take them off. It’s me who has to live with them. They did a mammogram and blood tests. Humiliating. I could see the nurses looking. 
I’m sure my female friends know , like my sister they probably thought I should try one  all this time but I don’t really want them looking and I’m  not sure about the guys I know. They would probably just be glad it wasn’t them. 


This pink one is making them look bigger because it’s pushing them up more. They feel supported and lifted , certainly don’t jiggle. I checked with a normal shirt and the colour doesn’t show as much. But in my normal polo top the boobs look bigger. My mum said try it today as she isn’t constantly washing. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on May 09, 2021, 10:07:37 AM
I know at first, dealing with them while you're young can be difficult. The mammograms and ultrasound scans, sitting in a waiting room full of women, changing into the pink robe.

The breast world is geared towards women. You have to shop in women's stores and women's clothing department for a bra.

I used to try to find the most masculine looking bra I could. Then I realized that no matter what, the bra that I was wearing was made for a woman. That's when I started wearing what I wanted and look how I wanted and be comfortable both physically and mentally. I decided to own my boobs.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 09, 2021, 11:26:44 AM
There is no way I could face going to a shop to buy a bra. I was mortified at the hospital and when the doctor felt them. At the hospital he said they were feminine in shape and form.  Bad enough I was looking on line stores and my mum was showing me how to wear it. She said she never thought she would buy her son his first bra. I talked about colours and trying to hide them today. Wearing round the house is one thing but they are obvious I think and I look like a boy with breasts.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on May 09, 2021, 11:38:06 AM
I do understand. We've all been there. Here's the thing, having a full set of breasts is not the worst thing in the world. Over half of the population has a pair. We just happen to be part of the majority. The same goes for wearing a bra. We do so because wearing a bra helps us get through our daily activities. It also helps have a more presentable appearance.

If your mother and sister are offering to help you find bras, it's a good thing. They both know and understand that a bra is more a necessity now for you. They know what works for them and they can advise what are your best bra options.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 09, 2021, 12:00:04 PM
Ok, yes, well I am grateful. She was supportive and when we came back from the doctors she bought the binders. As they got bigger we had the chat at Christmas. I know they are bigger as the binder was struggling and right and this b cup bra is full and tight. This is my sisters which is a smaller band but it’s because I asked about colours. It is more comfortable with one of my bras on. My Dad is a way for a month then back for two weeks then away. He was indifferent. Just said I’m sure they will sort it at some point.
It’s just when I look in the mirror I see a lad in boxers and a pink bra it’s crazy. And wearing a bra is making me feel more girly i guess.
I just can’t get my head around how long this is for and what I’m going to do with friends or going out.
The binders don’t really work anymore and I can’t ask for more as my mum has bought me 2 coloured bras this morning on line
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on May 09, 2021, 12:29:06 PM
The most difficult years for dealing with male breast development are definitely the teenage years. It does get better as you leave high school  and head off to college or whatever, as the general level of maturity and individualism rises. I was never bothered or received comments from anyone once I left high school. Your confidence in public settings will only grow and it will become completely routine to put on a bra in the morning and go out and take on the world.

The support you have at home is priceless. It is this sort of at home support for puberty onset gyno that is probably rare as no one wants to talk about it.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: SideSet on May 09, 2021, 10:36:34 PM
I think it is great that your mother bought you your first bra. I hope you told her how much you appreciate it. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on May 10, 2021, 11:37:25 AM
 I was mortified at the hospital and when the doctor felt them. At the hospital he said they were feminine in shape and form.  
Yes, I remember having a visit at a children's hospital where I was examined for my breasts. A physician felt and palpated them and then measured each breast with some sort of caliper. Photos were taken at various angles. Definitely on the embarrassment scale. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: taxmapper on May 10, 2021, 12:06:11 PM
im at 44B now moving to a c cup.  they do protrude to some degree, and i wear padded all the time for shape and protection.  

They dont really fill a C cup as of yet, and strangely enough a regular unpadded doesn't do much for support for me. But they are filling the b cups now and actualy starting to get tight. 
But I guess thats my body type.   
Eventually they will become the famous mono-boob that are the love and bane of existence for many women. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on May 10, 2021, 12:26:04 PM
im at 44B now moving to a c cup.  they do protrude to some degree, and i wear padded all the time for shape and protection. 

They dont really fill a C cup as of yet, and strangely enough a regular unpadded doesn't do much for support for me. But they are filling the b cups now and actualy starting to get tight.
But I guess thats my body type. 
Eventually they will become the famous mono-boob that are the love and bane of existence for many women.
That's what so many newer bra wearers tend to forget when they start out. Support is very important but shape is just as important to look your best.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on May 10, 2021, 12:39:12 PM
Conor, I know that this is a tough time to navigate the fact that you have breasts large enough to need support.  Try not to get caught up in the size that you are, as long as you find a bra that supports you and you feel comfortable wearing.  I've had breasts since I was 11 or 12 years old and probably would have benefited wearing a bra in my teen years.  I'm sure it felt awkward having the conversation with your Mom about your breast shape, wearing bras, etc.  It seems that you have taken the first steps to gaining control of your bras so you can be comfortable.  If you have questions or concerns, reach out to us in the forum or PM us.  We have similar, but unique experiences that could be useful to you.  You are doing the right things for your comfort and appearance.  
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 10, 2021, 03:57:17 PM
Thanks Guys
Today I was in college where I wear a binder. It’s tight and uncomfy and  isn’t really working. So it’s good to get home at 4 and my routine is to change into a regular bra. That’s how I know that they feel better when supported but they shape up and protrude more. They aren’t  triangles, they are sort of female full on boobs with big sensitive nipples. Plus the straps show if I lean forward. Round the house it doesn’t matter in a T-shirt as my mum and sister know. She saw the pink bra in the wash this morning and said that’s why you were bigger yesterday , you had my push up bra on. I was a bit embarrassed! And if people come round I hide and put a cardigan on it sports hoodie. But I know the secret is going to come out soon. I can’t hide away and my friends will wonder what’s wrong. 
We are having a bit of a garden party at friends at the end of the week. College is almost done. Part of me is tempted just to wear a bra and get it over with wearing a thick shirt. Maybe tell the two girls I’m closer with the day before. So hopefully there is moral support. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 10, 2021, 04:10:00 PM
And your right. I think when the young male doctor held my breasts and looked me in the eye as he did it saying they were feminine in appearance and feel and basically squeezed the nipple- that was maximum embarrassment. My mum was the other side of the  curtain. Then the consultant came in and had a feel with my mum watching. I think when he said they were like a girls breasts she started to ask him if I needed a bra. She said we were binding it.He said you need to talk about it and see how it goes.  
I have a slight heart issue which is worrying me they won’t operate 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on May 10, 2021, 05:32:24 PM
I still maintain that if you have the right shirt selection you should not worry about any bra outline showing through. Again, T shirts are just not going to work as well as they are often too form fitting and thin, and if you bend over the back bra straps will easily show through. 

With my relax fit pattern button down shirts I have no worry of anyone picking up on my bra outline. They may see my breasts projecting some what but that will be the case of a bra or not. Only a hug or pat on the back would give away my bra. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: FredL on May 10, 2021, 05:37:52 PM
I wish you the best. That's a tough break - a heart issue at 18. 

If a bra works for you, then I think you should own it and let the good people here help you find what works the best.

If you're going for surgery, then I envy you. If I had this thing addressed at age 18 it would have been a whole different life for me. This embarrassing affliction has been like a ball and chain. Forcing me to be anti social, wearing ugly clothes, feeling like some kind of misfit because of something totally out of my control. Then waiting until age 57 to address it. If only I had a time machine. 



Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 10, 2021, 05:40:54 PM
Yes, I have a shirt that may work 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 10, 2021, 05:52:23 PM
I wish you the best. That's a tough break - a heart issue at 18.

If a bra works for you, then I think you should own it and let the good people here help you find what works the best.

If you're going for surgery, then I envy you. If I had this thing addressed at age 18 it would have been a whole different life for me. This embarrassing affliction has been like a ball and chain. Forcing me to be anti social, wearing ugly clothes, feeling like some kind of misfit because of something totally out of my control. Then waiting until age 57 to address it. If only I had a time machine.
It’s just a slight heart rhythm thing they spotted on a scan. No big issue 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gmast on May 10, 2021, 08:15:27 PM
I still maintain that if you have the right shirt selection you should not worry about any bra outline showing through. Again, T shirts are just not going to work as well as they are often too form fitting and thin, and if you bend over the back bra straps will easily show through.
If you are picking your shirts to keep the bra straps from showing, you are doing it backwards.  Don't try to minimize the problem with a shirt, minimize it with the bra, then supplement it with the shirt.  Get a bra that doesn't have bra straps that aren't thick, don't go over your shoulder blades, and doesn't have adjusters that make lumps on the back or shoulders.  Racerback bras have the straps come up the back between the shoulder blades.  These are less likely to show on the back and shoulders.  On some brands the straps are between the shoulder and neck and work with T-shirts, but often the straps are close to the neck so they will work with collered shirts, but not T-shirts.  T-Back bras also go between the shoulder blades and the straps are usually further from the neck so they aren't as likely to be seen under a T-shirt.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: brock123 on May 11, 2021, 12:12:31 AM
To me, this story feels like you are generally accepting of your appearance, and that's phenomenal.  But, I sense that while you are comfortable enough in your own skin, you are still worried about what your peers think, which is perfectly normal, but may be holding you back.

My concern for you is that it seems that you may have been (somewhat reluctantly) pushed into accepting your body geometry by females, and at a fairly young age.  I mean there ARE surgery options available out there that could help you attain a more "masculine" body geometry if you want, but only women are supposed to possess and embrace breasts.  Men are (sadly) still not there.

So what if you happen to need/want to wear a pink bra? It's YOUR body and YOUR clothes; do what feels right and try not to think about what anyone else things (easy to say when you're pushing 50, right?).
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on May 11, 2021, 11:29:51 AM
Since my teen years, I never had negative feelings about wearing a bra to best deal with my breast comfort. It quickly seemed appropriate and even made me feel better about my breasts.

I just wanted an atmosphere to do so without sharing it to the rest of the world and needing to explain my situation. It was not something I wanted to be public about. And that is really the biggest challenge; not accepting breasts and the benefit of a bra but just ones public presentation.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 11, 2021, 01:44:31 PM
Thanks. To be honest, talking on here is making a bit more confident about being more in control. I think I had a few years to get used the idea of my boobs but moving from binding to bras is a psychological shock. I know I feel comfort in a bra and that’s the embarrassing bit. And I don’t feel like a proper man. I had the afternoon off and my mum was off so we had a chat why my sister was at school. I said I’d been researching and wanted to try a racer bra. She said she knew I was struggling binding and if I wanted to wear a bra more it’s my choice. She sort of suggested I needed to do something. Some of the bras are 42, one is 44 for some reason so we ordered a 42b that fastens at the front as she said that hides the clasp. I think I’m more bothered about what people will say and react plus it looking stupid out and about. I can try wear clothes to hide. 

I only ended up trying the pink one when I said do other colours hide better and she got me one of my sisters old ones. Still feels mad talking about bras but certainly at home it’s sort of routine to have one on
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: taxmapper on May 11, 2021, 04:19:17 PM
So that you know that others are in the same boat. 

I have had several clasp type bras that simply didn't work for me, so i have stuck to sports bras but that's my issue.   

I enjoy the racer backs because they don't have the strap constantly falling off the side and I dont have the downward stress of the straps on me. 
The Y and T backs are most comfortable for me and because they have no clasps involved I don't have that issue. Just protrusion of the breasts themselves under pads. 

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Goodnplenty on May 11, 2021, 06:32:45 PM
If you're worried about trying to hide the bra color under  your clothes you need to match the bra color to your skin tone and not the color of your shirt.  If you're Caucasian try a beige bra.  Many bra companies will have several shades of beige to pick from.  Also there's a reddit group called "a bra that fits" that is very helpful for all things bra related and is friendly to men with gynecomastia. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: felix on May 11, 2021, 11:05:54 PM
Taxmapper: I know we are in the minority here, but I find pullover type leisure and low impact sports bras completely adequate for every day wear.  I even wear one for mountain biking.  There is no hardware on the back and they are about as undetectable under a shirt as you can get.  I think they are a good "training bra" for guys with gyno.  I am a 42B going on C.  I do have some underwires I wear now and then, but most of the time the pullovers are fine.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: brock123 on May 12, 2021, 12:07:01 AM
Everything is seemingly a matter of perspective and personal acceptance; we will ultimately do what's "right" for us.  If I may provide a couple/few suggestions that may help you on your personal journey:



in the end, you need to "be you" and try to worry less about what anyone else thinks if compared to your personal feelings about yourself.  The person that will go the most unnoticed is the most confident one!



Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 12, 2021, 06:54:52 AM
Everyone is different when it comes to bras and hence why there are is a dizzying array styles and models to suit any taste. Everyone's breasts are as different and unique as they are. Men's breasts included. There is no one size fits all.

For those with smaller breasts, A-C cups, then a pull over sports bra type or a bralette type might be all the support you need. If that's the case, you are not alone. Many women fall into this same category and wear this type of bra everyday for the same reasons you do. But if you have D or D+ size breasts, as some of us do, or have more breast tissue or your breasts are more dense, hence more weight hanging off your chest, a pullover or bralette may not give enough support for everyday wear, containment or shaping. More "traditional" bras such as underwire or seamed cup or engineered bras like molded or spacer cup bras work better for support, containment, shaping and to a slightly lesser extent, modesty (high beams, pokies, nipples showing). Just because your "junk" maybe different from a woman's, doesn't mean your breasts are different than a woman's. They are not. Your tissue is made of the same tissue as a woman's. Men normally do not have the proper ratio of hormones to have development as women. But some of us do. As with women, everyone has different levels of development. It just happens to be that most men do not develop pronounced breasts, just like a small number of women who do not develop pronounced breasts as well. And many of them are as distressed about being flat chested as we are about development and for the same reasons. Society says women have defined, pronounced breasts and men are flat chested. The reality is some men have very pronounced, feminine breasts and some woman have flat, manly looking chests, not even needing to wear a bra. Neither diminishes who they are because they don't fit the societal normal. And chest support should not be defined by gender, but need. If a woman feels she doesn't have enough breast development to warrant wearing a bra, then that's her choice. If a man has breast development and finds that wearing a bra is beneficial, then that's his choice and no one should care in either case. But we know that isn't what happens in both cases. I have been discriminated against about buying a bra because it was for me (a male) and not my wife (a female). But all I am trying to do is to be comfortable and have good body image with what body I have. It has nothing to do with gender. It's a physical thing. And I am sure flat chested women are pressured to get a "boob job" to look more "womanly" just like we are pressured to have reductions to look more "manly". Frankly, it's no one's business. Just my opinion.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on May 13, 2021, 06:08:50 AM
John, you sums everything up so well!!   I wear " traditional" bras because I feel more comfortable and contained with that style.  I wear underwire bras 95% of the time.  My breasts have a lot of glandular tissue in them and are getting heavy.  Before I started wearing a bra, I knew that my breasts moved a lot.  After wearing a bra for awhile, taking it off and walking around, my breasts move around a lot!!   So glad that I'm wearing a bra and I don't plan on having surgery to become more "manly".  I'm still a man, but with breasts large enough to need support from a bra.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 15, 2021, 08:55:13 AM
So the racer back bra arrived and I’m trying it today. It feels different, more solid. My boobs are like a solid block! It’s different on your back and the strap don’t occasionally slip so I can see the advantage. Puts the pressure in the centre of your back. To me it feels more constrained. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 15, 2021, 09:11:33 AM
So the racer back bra arrived and I’m trying it today. It feels different, more solid. My boobs are like a solid block! It’s different on your back and the strap don’t occasionally slip so I can see the advantage. Puts the pressure in the centre of your back. To me it feels more constrained.
So is that constraint better or worse? It sounds like the support you are getting is more comfortable to you and it sounds like it surprises you that a bra can be comfortable and supportive. I too, and I suspect others do too, prefer to have their busts solidly contained for comfort as well as appearance reasons. There's nothing wrong with that. That is what a properly fitting bra is suppose to do. Keep the bust under control of movement and support the weight of the breasts to maintain comfort. If that is what is happening, then the bra is doing its job.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 15, 2021, 02:50:58 PM
It just feels different. It’s a bit like having them clamped in position wearing a tight vest. What I do know is they fill the cups. Wearing it round the house today so just in a polo top and it maybe better at the back but I have a chest like the others. I think maybe I got used to the other strap style. Going out later so will switch to a binder but can’t do that much longer. My mum says she only wears these for gym or long walks. To be honest I think I prefer the lighter normal ones. This feels like armour 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 15, 2021, 03:47:04 PM
It shouldn't be uncomfortable. It may feel snug. Maybe a little more snug than you would think, but that is good. If they feel "clamped in" that is what you want. Again, though, the underband or cups should not be uncomfortable or cutting into your body. You want it to support and keep your breasts from moving around in any direction no matter what position you body might be in and to do that it needs to fit the body like a glove and be very snug on the body. If they are not moving, then the bra is working. Remember, the underband is doing 80% of the work while the straps keep the bra in the correct vertical position on the body. If the straps are doing most of the work, then either the straps are too tight or the underband is too loose.

Just remember that a bra is to support breasts. Not male breasts. Not female breasts. It doesn't discriminate. It is there to support breasts. PERIOD. It is a support garment and nothing else. Not all bras have lace or are pink or look delicate. Bras made for larger breasts look pretty industrial and that is a major complaint of many busty women. "Why don't they make pretty, cute bras in my size." So the notion that bras are frilly really is just a fantasy. Bras that support breasts are not frilly. If they are frilly, they aren't supporting breasts.

I think the comparison to armor is a good one. Many women say they feel like putting on armor when they put their bra on and they like that. It gives them a feeling that their bosom is protected and supported; they don't have to worry about it. It gives them confidence. Just about all of us felt the same way you do now. It is all new and a little unnerving because guys aren't suppose to have breasts and need to wear a bra. A bra is supposed to be a "female" thing and it is hard to get your head wrapped around it. But you eventually see the benefits. Particularly if your breasts continue to grow and/or become heavier making movement or not being supported uncomfortable. Just because you have breasts does not mean you are any less male. It just means you are you. And if you are male, then you are a male with benefits!

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 16, 2021, 04:20:57 AM
Well, I’m not sure they are benefits. I’m sure I’d be way happier without them. Not sure I’m in to lace and pink but the white lace two I have seem a bit comfier than the racer sports bra. The plain ones are fine, they are triumph. Felt like Madonna in a cone bra in the racer. Maybe I would get more used to it, feels more solid and strapped in. 
My boobs are like a girls, I can see that and when I see my friends, I see my chest looks not too dissimilar when I have a regular bra on. The binder really is getting unmanageable and when they have nothing they move a lot and can ache. The nipples get sensitive because they are big. Just don’t want to be a hermit.
College ends in June. Going to try ride it out till then - then maybe bin then binders.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 16, 2021, 06:19:32 AM
Most of us (probably all) would rather not have them in the first place. But we do, so what do we do next? That is the question we all answer for ourselves.  At this point, I do not believe there is a wrong answer. It's the answer that is right for each one of us and no answers are the same. For me personally, it's how to get through life the best way. Has it been easy? No. But I am still here. Boobs are not a death sentence; unless you make it so. That has been my take away. And that seems to be true in all life.

For me, bras give me control over my chest. I can dictate how much movement and what my chest looks like depending on the style and type of bra. That's something I didn't have before and not being in control of my chest was a very scary thing to me and not to mention the discomfort of not being supported on top of that.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on May 16, 2021, 10:26:56 AM
John, you are so right with your observation.  Once you you decide you to accept your breasts, the journey and direction you take is up to you.  Honestly, I accepted having breasts early in my life and wish I would have started wearing a bra in my teen years.  It would have made my so much more comfortable.

No it’s not easy to be a man with breasts, but it can be managed.  Having enlarged breasts is not a death sentence, but it takes commitment, education, trial and error, and acceptance to allow to live your life. 

If bras make you the most comfortable, you will not put that binder back on.  You just won’t.  As John said, bras help you control their movement and appearance.  Honestly, people don’t see what you see and if they do, they don’t say anything.  Wear the bra that works for you, regardless of the color or fabric, and be you.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 16, 2021, 02:44:47 PM
Well, since chatting on here, I have sort of seen that I need to take a bit of control in this. I’ll try the racer again but I’m wearing a regular bra today and it feels easier and better. Lest constraining but supports and sorts most wobbling. I don’t want to ask my mum for more so I’ll buy similar ones maybe in other colours. 
I think in June when  college finishes I might just have coffee with the two girls and just turn up wearing it and see if they say anything. Wearing them infront of lads is another thing. 
My dad is home in June for two weeks and I suspect he will notice I’m bigger. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 16, 2021, 04:07:49 PM
Honestly, people don’t see what you see and if they do, they don’t say anything.  Wear the bra that works for you, regardless of the color or fabric, and be you.
All I see looking down on my chest are two mountains sticking out. People looking head on see something completely different. They are not sure what they see, if they see anything at all. I wear bras and tops that do not draw attention to my chest, so people don't have a reason to look. You see women do this very thing all the time. If they want you to see their chest, they wear bras and tops that you see their breasts. If they don't want you to see them, they seemingly, disappear. i use that same tactic as successfully as women do.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on May 16, 2021, 05:17:25 PM
Honestly, people don’t see what you see and if they do, they don’t say anything.  Wear the bra that works for you, regardless of the color or fabric, and be you.
All I see looking down on my chest are two mountains sticking out. People looking head on see something completely different.
Both these statements are so true! I look down and see nothing but bust, Yet, I don’t dress or look female in the least. Just more proof that 99.99% of the people only see what they expect to see. Read as much as you can in the acceptance garment section, lots of great tips on obscuring your assets. What you can’t hide you can blend in.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on May 18, 2021, 06:33:09 AM
I used  to find that concealment and comfort were inversely proportional. This meant that the more I tried to confine conceal them, them more uncomfortable they were. I always achieved maximum comfort when I was fully supported in a regular underwire bra that was properly fitted.

Once I gave up on trying to conceal or hide them, everything got better. I felt better both physically and mentally. My posture improved. My breast shape also got better because I started wearing properly fitted bras which also meant by having a very large bust size, I also had to switch to ladies blouses to accommodate them.

If you're still small enough to get away with men's tops, that's fine. You may find with ladies tops, the cut is better for breasts and will fit better and maybe not so obvious.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 19, 2021, 03:39:22 PM
Well, I’m not sure I want to wear women’s clothes. Baggy men’s shirts seem to work. The racer bra is back through the wash so may try again on  Friday when I’m not in college.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on May 19, 2021, 07:32:16 PM
Baggy shirts work. Just make sure it doesn't swallow you and draw attention. The idea is to stay under the radar in your appearance.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on May 26, 2021, 09:28:25 AM
End of college on Friday. Think that maybe my last day of binding probably. Came back yesterday and my mum had bought me two skin tone nude bras 42b. Tried them and they fit comfy. Under a thin baggy shirt you can’t see the colour. The shape is there at the front. 

Saturday daytime I’m meant to be catching up with a few friends ahead of a party that night. So thinking I just go for it. I’m sure the girls know about my chest anyhow. Hopefully university awaits and that’s a new challenge for autumn
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on May 26, 2021, 11:25:35 AM
I am sure you will thrive with the changes and challenges of university, it is a whole new game. Go out in confidence in a well fitting bra and do not give it a second thought. You will make great connections in university.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 05, 2021, 06:39:37 PM
It’s been over a week since I last used the binder. To be honest I feel healthier and  I’m used to just having a normal bra on all the time.  Last Saturday I went to some friends house and it was hot in the garden. I had a bra on and a thickish cotton shirt. The friends were both girls. Nothing was said - just normal banter. After an hour or so ... and a few drinks later, I came back from the bathroom. One of them said it was great I wasn’t 

trying to hide them anymore and to ask if I needed anything. I think I went red and said my mum was sorting things out for me. That quickly moved to questioning on size , shape and various other things. They said that my group of friends all knew I had breasts but had said nothing. In a funny way I relaxed a bit more. In the evening the rest of my friends joined for garden drinks including the lads. They sort of said nothing but I could see them looking. And I know a close friend felt the strap touching my back and shoulder like he was checking but said nothing. Saw some of the group of friends in the week and nothing much was said. One of the guys came round and he just said he knew and I was brave - I could see him thinking thank God it wasn’t him. I moved the conversation on. The 2 girls came round for a chat  asking how I was doing. They didn’t pre warn me they were popping round and my sister let them in and just shouted me as they were coming upstairs to my room. I was slobbing around in jeans and t shirt so my white bra was was not very hidden. I nipped down to make them coffee and when I came back up  they were chatting to my sister about my boobs and bra. She went out  but after  a bit they started talking about my boobs and the condition , surgery , underwires and different bras. A bit surreal. But it’s out there but contained amongst friends. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on June 05, 2021, 08:18:21 PM
You have more than broken the ice and gained a significant amount of confidence in a short time. You will quickly start forgetting you are even wearing a bra in public. You can get on with the great opportunities you have in life before you while confidently wearing the comfortable support you need to contain your breasts.

You will be like me and others here, putting on your bra in the morning and not giving it another thought during the day. A well fitting bra just blends into the background of our minds.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on June 06, 2021, 05:26:44 AM
Blad is correct. You will find that a bra is still the best way. I've been wearing a bra for over thirty years.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 06, 2021, 11:01:42 AM
It does sort of feel more natural after this week. And it feels wrong without a bra as they wobble about.  There was no hiding it when the girls came round the other day as the t shirt was light and thin and it was one of the white bras I had on. My sister just let them in , I think she forgot. I could see them looking and think they may have checked my draws when I was out of my bedroom.
I went out last night to a friends house and garden but wore a shirt that hides it more and a nude coloured bra. The girls just said looking good, the guys looked - I could see where there eyes were looking - but didn’t say anything. It feels better than strapping them down but I sort of feel like a hybrid. My mum said how did it go and I said ok. One of the guys here this morning and I just wore a polo shirt with a normal bra. His sense of humour just said nice rack , I said oh cheers and carried on sorting something on the computer. Bit strange to be stood in the kitchen with him , my sister chatting to my mate and me wearing a bra but it seems more normal. 


Hoping to hear from the hospital soon
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on June 06, 2021, 01:57:20 PM
It’s so nice to see how you’ve adapted and the support you’ve gotten from family and friends. If I add one thing. Don’t be so quick to jump in to the hospital. Live with them for awhile before making a permanent decision. Things are so different from 40 years ago.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 08, 2021, 04:38:42 PM
Well, I think I have figured I’ll be living with my boobs  for sometime. No sign of a hospital appointment, waiting lists and delays. Plus last time they said review. I was that embarrassed I’m not sure I fully took it in but they have got a little bigger since then. 42b bra fits the best. My mum suggested looking for a job before university. Managed to get some work that I can do from home so that saves embarrassment. My mate was round earlier. He just said he thought I was brave. Then asked if I played with the nipples! Think I went red. See what the week brings
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on June 09, 2021, 06:36:47 AM
My situation was similar to where you are now. I was sixteen years old when I started wearing a bra full time. I was a 34C. A couple years later when I graduated, I was a 36D. It wasn't that I absolutely couldn't have surgery, it was just not recommended for various reasons.

I am now and have been for some time soooooo grateful that I kept them. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 09, 2021, 09:14:43 AM
Wow; all respect to you. D cup.  I couldn’t imagine my boobs getting bigger. They are filling a b cup fully. I lost weight and they stuck out more. My mum said don’t expect anything to happen quickly when she had the bra chat instead of binding. In other words, you are going to have to learn to live with them for a bit.  I just find the bra comfier and not has hot or constrictive. I also find they can feel sore occasionally and now if I don’t wear a bra my back aches a little. So it has become normal to put one on getting dressed in the morning
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on June 09, 2021, 01:30:18 PM
I'm happy to hear that you are becoming accustomed to wearing your bra. I haven't left the house without a bra in over 30 years.

It just makes sense that if you have breasts large enough to justify wearing a bra, then you probably should be wearing a bra. 

It's a good thing to have a mother and sister who are empathetic and supportive. My mother got me started wearing a bra  but, it was my sister who really helped me along the way. She was a little larger than me in chest but I could borrow a bra from anytime I wanted.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 12, 2021, 10:10:02 AM
Well, I’m sort of used to it. Strange and nervous out of the house. My sister is 17, one year younger. She’s thinner than me but bigger chest now. I was with friends yesterday in their garden. I ended up chatting with some of the girls and they starting talking boobs. Asking questions , asking how my mum gave me a bra and pointing out that mine were bigger than someone else’s which was a little embarrassing. It’s hot at the minute so I have just been wearing them under polo tops. Yesterday I had one of the racer ones on.  One of the lads I think deliberately made a point of patting my back to check the straps to prove it. Not that it isn’t that obvious as I think they look bigger in them. Hopefully they will just forget it after the novelty wears off. One of the girls said she would see if she could get a swimming costume or bikini top for hot tub parties which they knew I never went in. She said we all know now so you should live a bit. I think that is a step too far. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on June 12, 2021, 10:50:00 AM
Conor, your attitude is great and you have a good group of friends. 

You are in the early stages of wearing a bra daily with the added layer of most of your friends knowing. When I started wearing a bra it was not so known amongst my friends. But this will be a positive for you as there is now no feeling that there is anything to hide and your confidence to wear a bra everyday and in public will grow very quickly. If you are getting comfortable among friends that know you wear a bra then being out in public with people that have no idea of your bra will be a non event for you. With clothing that does not advertise any bra straps showing your visible profile to anyone in a public setting does not really look any different than you would being braless, perhaps even downplaying any breast projection with the smoothing and bounce control with a bra.

It will quickly become routine to put your bra on in the morning and take it off at night while forgetting you are even wearing one for most of the day, like wearing socks. There is nothing negative with a future of wearing a bra everyday for the rest of your life as many of us here do and most women do. When I discovered how well I fit a bra at an early age and how comfortable it felt to wear one, I began to have a more positive outlook on my breast development that only grew with time. It turned out not to be a big deal to have breasts and to wear a bra daily for their care and support. It would have been miserable if I did not wear a bra.

The worst time for developing and dealing with breasts is school age. That is behind you now and if you have done this well so far then there is truly nothing of concern ahead of you. Your home and friend support has been a wonderful start. Wear you bra daily with confidence and enjoy the benefits of the comfort and support, and it will become so routine and natural. You have a great future ahead of you with university and wearing a bra everyday will feel very normal, if you even think about it at all.  
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 12, 2021, 01:06:14 PM
Well, my attitude varies. I’m trying to stay positive. Although some days it’s depressing. Yesterday I was looking at the lads chests and pecs - they all go to the gym, I never did as I was too embarrassed. Then I look at the girls and realise they are like mine. I think it’s the heaviness on my chest and the fact they are not meant to be there ! Sort of ruined my planned life. 
I have good friends, there are 12 of us who stick together. But my boobs are like the secret that’s now out and confirmed. One of my best friends is one of the girls, well two of them. All three of us were sat in her room this morning - it’s hot so I had taken my lumberjack style shirt off that hides things and  just sat in the t shirt with bra on. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with them two like that. Today , they even said that I looked comfier in the normal bra than the racer, which is true. 
But her mum popped in and sat on the bed to start chatting. After the usual stuff she said well atleast I understood what women had to deal with, it must be great my mum supporting me so well. I knew my friend had been chatting to her mum, as she then said we were saying, maybe I could try different styles or dressing more gender neutral and before I sort of knew it I had said ok to giving it a try at theirs one day. She said she would see what she could sort.  I’m meant to be staying at their holiday home in summer and sensed she wanted me dressed to be less like a boy with breasts? But I was embarrassed as I could see her having a good look at my chest. When she went my friends said it Could be a way of dressing to make life easier or comfier. Anyhow we had lunch .... out for a BBQ tonight at another friends house whose parents are away. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on June 12, 2021, 01:34:38 PM
You should also look into trying a tankini. It's a good way to enjoy a hot tub or swimming pool and still get the support and coverage you need.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 12, 2021, 02:33:02 PM

I’ve just asked Debra my friend. She basically sent me back a picture of a swimming bra top and bottom shorts bikini and  said am I up for a tankini. I’m not sure I’m up for the bottom but it’s going to look silly in trunks. 

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on June 12, 2021, 05:38:00 PM
Swimming is one thing I missed out on. I remember swimming lessons in the summer between grade 7&8 with significant breast development by then. I was always super self conscious and would try to keep my breasts below water level when ever possible. That was my last time public swimming.

I never had the fortitude to wear any form of coverup later in life, I felt it would look like a wet T shirt contest vs an obvious women's garment. In a perfect world I would have no problems wearing a swimming bra top or a one pice swim suit but I have kept my need for a bra as private as I can.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 12, 2021, 06:15:34 PM
Think I’m more a t shirt and tank top person to hide 

Going to swerve the hot tub summer
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: p.r.1974 on June 12, 2021, 11:12:41 PM

I started puberty between 9 and 10, with some glandular growth and a bit from weight. The school days were not pleasant, and having someone to talk to without judgement would have saved a lot of heartache, poor choices, and therapy. I wish I had the support from my family growing up that you have.

The girls started before little league. I have always been a big guy. I grew very quickly to 6'2 and 200lb with a b cup by the 7th grade, along with all of the usual puberty issues. I believe that my size prevented a lot of the cruelty that kids are capable of, from reaching me.

The last time I remember being around people shirtless by choice in public was an after season little league soccer party, and football practice locker room in junior high; otherwise just intimate partners at a private pool. After the pointing and laughing at the party, I would always be in a t-shirt or not go swimming. And I always made sure to be the last one in the showers after football practice, or shower at home.
 
My development fluctuated between an A & B cup until my mid 20's, and has increased to my current 46C or 44D, I have not been swimming but a few times 15 years ago, before now. 

The housemates and I recently got an above ground pool set up at our house. I decided to get a few one piece suites, and some leggings that work in the water, and go to my ankles. I have warn them with a tank top and sandals. The towel covers a lot on the way out, and after drying off after. I am careful, as I am still getting the deck and privacy fence built, but evening and later dips in the pool have been quite relaxing.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 13, 2021, 02:54:44 PM
Do you wear a bra ? 
Today has been one of those days it hits home. Really hot. Went to the beach with friends. Drinks, food…. The lads in trunks, the girls in their swimming costume and I felt like a gooseberry. Being so hot I did go down to t shirt and shorts. No one really noticed out of the group as they distract from me. They all knew and Could probably see the outline . When I lie down they look like mounds sticking up. 


Again, Deb and Bev were saying try a different look and get a swim outfit but it’s a step too far. I’m envious of the guys. Think I’m even envious of the girls being able to just be
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: MarcoB on June 14, 2021, 04:25:56 AM
I did go down to t shirt and shorts. [...] They all knew and could probably see the outline.  [...]  I’m envious of the guys. Think I’m even envious of the girls being able to just be

I'm sure you could find a Hawaiian or plaid short-sleeve casual shirt that would hide a bra quite well, unlike a T-shirt, even if the fabric is thinner than that of a T-shirt.  I know what you mean about the girls not having to worry about it though.  They can have it super visible and not worry about it.  It seems like decades ago bras were absolutely to be hidden, but today many girls seem to want to show them off.  The men are a few decades behind.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Aussie63 on June 14, 2021, 07:17:25 AM
I know what you mean about the girls not having to worry about it though.  They can have it super visible and not worry about it.  It seems like decades ago bras were absolutely to be hidden, but today many girls seem to want to show them off.  The men are a few decades behind.
This is a subject that I raised a while ago, to the point that it sometimes distracts me and makes me think of wanting to ask a stranger what bra she is wearing etc. due to its visibility if i spot certain features of the bra. Of course I would never ask, but visible bras are noticeable to me, just as I'm sure a visible bra being worn by a guy would be noticed more so by others than one worn by a lady. People tend to notice unusual things. I'm not sure that many women purposely show their bras off, but if they make them visible then they obviously don't care. 

Marco, your last sentence is more important to me. Men are probably centuries behind! Frustratingly though there are examples of men wearing bras overtly in public and no-one cares. Many professional sporting teams wear specially designed crops that hold GPS trackers and other monitoring equipment for example, and for all intents and purposes they look exactly like bras. In warm weather, it is common to see footage of these athletes wearing only these crops on top while training. No-one cares. Yet, if one of these fine specimens was caught by the cameras putting on a lacy balconette after getting out of the shower, it would be career over!
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on June 14, 2021, 08:23:07 AM
I used to care if my bra was visible until I didn't. A while back, a lady friend asked me, out of the blue, at lunch, " what size are you?". I knew what she mentioned but, I pretended not to know. I thought about denying it but the was no point. She told me how obvious it was and that she completely understood. I think that I was a DD or a DDD back then. I should have realized that at least to the people that I see everyday would notice not just the little bumps on my back but, the big bumps on the front. We are who we are and we should try to be proud of ourselves for doing what is best for ourselves. In this case, it's wearing a bra that improves our quality of life.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Harmony74 on June 16, 2021, 11:18:29 AM
Wow; all respect to you. D cup.  I couldn’t imagine my boobs getting bigger. They are filling a b cup fully. I lost weight and they stuck out more. My mum said don’t expect anything to happen quickly when she had the bra chat instead of binding. In other words, you are going to have to learn to live with them for a bit.  I just find the bra comfier and not has hot or constrictive. I also find they can feel sore occasionally and now if I don’t wear a bra my back aches a little. So it has become normal to put one on getting dressed in the morning
Just wanted to add that comparing cup sizes irrespective of band size doesn’t make a lot of sense. A 42B is equivalent to a 34DDD in volume. Cup size just describes the difference between band and cup. 

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on June 16, 2021, 03:05:42 PM
People get hung up on the letters without understanding what it truly means. A letter or letters by themselves mean nothing without the number. Your breast shape and type play into it as well. 40B is actually small where a 28B would be considered medium or large depending on shape and type of breast. I myself is 36DDD or 38DD depending on the bra. Because I am wideset and shallow and large root, my projection is not what the numbers and letters might suggest. Do I have a lot of tissue? Yes but it is spread out over my chest in such a way I need the cup size to fit around the tissue. If I were full and narrow root in my size, I would look like a porn star! It's all relative.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on June 17, 2021, 06:51:14 AM
John, you are so right.  I hate when I hear women talking about the cup without the band.  I'm a 42C or 40D depending on the bra style.  I'm wideset, shallow and large root as well.  
Conor, I'm proud of you.  You've taken this head on and came up with the best solution for yourself.  I wish that starting wearing a bra at your age.  Things would have been so much easier.  You will live a life of comfortable and building confidence in your appearance.  Wearing a bra and dressing for your shape will become second nature.  Bra shopping will get easier too.  
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 17, 2021, 08:35:18 AM
Not sure about bra shopping. Whilst I’m sure they could see i wear one and why , I’m not sure I could walk into a bra department or somewhere like Victoria’s Secret and buy a bra for myself or talk to the assistant. My mum got the bras and I’d use Amazon.
I can’t face exposing myself and situation more but have let close friends see me in a t shirt and bra , it’s too hot to put a shirt over the t shirt. It’s the mounds infront that are more noticeable than the straps even in a baggy t shirt. I’m sure I’ll get my head round all these sizes thing but I know my boobs feel big and heavy and show- and  It’s difficult to hide that bit. The nipples are big as well. 
Summer is the worst time dealing with this. But I can’t be a hermit and don’t want to loose friends. 


I’m basically mainly wearing ordinary bras from the supermarket or internet. One is basic and the rest look more lacey. They seem to work the best. I was looking on line at t shirt bras. Don’t really want to ask my mum , are they better ? Presumably better with t shirts but how? 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on June 17, 2021, 09:12:47 AM
You need to ask your mother to go with you bra shopping. You need to tell your fitter what you want in a bra andbget one that fits. Otherwise, it's all trial and error.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 17, 2021, 09:24:31 AM
I really couldn’t deal with going to a shop with my mum to have a stranger measure my bust and try bras on. Bad enough my mum did it.
I’m 18
I’m guessing most 18 year old girls buy their own clothes like that .
And there is a difference between buying one in Walmart or going to Victoria’s Secret or another underwear shop
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on June 17, 2021, 10:03:23 AM
If you can't or don't want to go with your mum, ring up small stockest and ask if they fit people with gynecomastia. If they know what gynecomastia is, they will more than likely fit men. If they say yes, ask for a private after hours appointment. They will be happy to do that. They will also understand about your intrepidation. This is how many of us do it. Then go by yourself.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 17, 2021, 10:16:48 AM
I’d have to build myself up for that. When the doctor was measuring and feeling them I was blushing and red. That was months ago and they are bigger now. He was grabbing them and feeling the weight and talked of glandular tissue. The nipples are huge. I’m sort of used to the ones I have I guess. The softer ones are comfier. Maybe that’s me 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on June 17, 2021, 12:15:37 PM
There really is not substitute for trying on the bras before you purchase them, and getting help from the sales associates in selecting and sizing. I think you would find that they genuinely want to help and understand the benefits of choosing the right bra and size, no matter who the breasts belong to. They would more likely be empathetic than be at all negative towards you. Perhaps a store outside of your immediate area would be more covert, and avoid places like Victorias Secret as they are fashion focused rather than function and I am guessing not the product you want to wear at this point.

That said, obviously you will find this a big step to make as did most of us, but honestly once you have tried it once and survived you will realize it is no big deal and can actually be fun to find the bra you want to wear. Having your mother or sister come the first time could help for sure.

And you may get lucky buying off the internet. Often though, how a bra appears on line and the reality once you get it can be surprisingly different. The actual look and feel of the bra can be different than expected, and of course sizing will seem like going to Vagas. 

But the big take away you have already come to is realizing the comfort and benefits of a bra to manage our breast development in the most logical way. It will not take long to seem like a complete routine to put a bra on in the morning and forget about it. It is not ultimately something to fixate about or define you, it is just clothing like a pair of socks.

But it is good to have the correct fitting socks. 

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: p.r.1974 on June 17, 2021, 02:43:42 PM
I would also echo the benefit of purchasing new bras, for the mentioned reasons. For me. I also can't get past the bra being worn by a stranger, though I have worn  those of an intimate partner. I was terrified of buying for myself at first, and did the online thing. Lots of hit and miss until I found a couple that worked. I finally got tired of the time and expense of hit and miss, and went into Lane Bryant to grab some underwear "for a friend".  And did this a few times while still doing the online thing. 

Then one day, I decided to go back, and the sales associate that had helped me find some panties for my friend said hello and asked me if I needed any help. So, even though I was all but shaking, I decided to say I was looking for me, and I didn't know where to start. At that point, she opened up and relaxed quite a bit. I have not been small in height or stature since I was 5, so my asking had let her know there was a need. She had been professionally polite and helpful before, but genuinely friendly, understanding, and accepting after I was. Since then, I have been helped by everyone, and had the conversation about how they have a good idea who is actually buying for a friend or partner, and who is not. Again all professional and friendly, but a polite nod that they figured out where I was; they have heard it all.

I would say that it is all your decision in how you proceed at your pace. Though I will say life has been more pleasant, and more thrifty, being able to try on in store, and with help of some new friends.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 17, 2021, 04:09:13 PM
I’m not sure I could even face a conversation where I asked my mum to take me shopping for new underwear , let alone bras. And my sister is younger than me by one year. I could ask my friends but would need to think it through. And certainly not yet. Then my mum would wonder where new bras had come from so maybe best left till I go to university
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on June 20, 2021, 08:44:08 AM
Conor, you are doing great.  You will do everything in your time when you are the most ready and comfortable.  My experience, like most of the men here, have had great experiences while bra shopping.  It is nerve wracking the first time to walk in and ask for help.   The woman that fit me and helped me was amazing.  She suggested some bras to try on, which would work best for my shape, asked what I was looking for, etc.  I owe her a lot for the comfort and confidence I have today and wish I could have done it at your age.  

Keep up the good work.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on June 20, 2021, 01:19:43 PM
I agree with curiousk, the woman who fitted me the first time was very understanding and was very conscientious that I was very nervous and I found out later I was NOT her first male. I am happy to say, we are still friends and she continues to advises me when asked about the look of a top and such.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 20, 2021, 02:14:19 PM
Thanks for the positive vibes. I’m trying to cope with things. It sort of has become a bit more normal getting dressed in the morning to put my bra on, they fit and it’s comfier. Otherwise you hear the skin flopping about. My dads home at the minute and as normal he doesn’t say much. Been wearing a t shirt then a thicker shirt not buttoned up. 
My mum and sister have not said much apart from my mum asking if I was ok. I think when I’m at uni if I need more I can see about buying them in a different town. 
The more difficult conversations have been with female friends. Asking questions and almost wanting to look. I’m meant to be staying with them in their holiday home in summer. Debra said her mum had been asking what I was going to wear round the pool on chill out days. So I need to tackle that. Next week I start this admin stuff working from home. Summer job so that should occupy me and I don’t need to hide it as much at home. T shirt and shorts 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: expedient-traveller on June 20, 2021, 10:10:09 PM
I have found that button up shirts with patch pockets over the breasts will hide the breasts very well. Place a small note pad in one pocket and some folded money in the other. The pad and the cash will break up your breast outline and people will not be able to tell. I have done this from a B cup to my current I cup, and it works!
 
I am currently working on my 8th degree and no one has ever said anything about my breasts all the time I have been at university. People just do not notice because they are not expecting to see a gentleman with breasts. The only comments I have received have been from women who complemented me on my taking care of my breasts. Day by day, there are more men becoming "busty" on account of what is in the food, water, clothes, air and medication. So for someone to have "assets' is not something unusual, bizzare or otherwise weird. It is slowly becoming the norm. Be well!
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Harmony74 on June 21, 2021, 12:34:43 PM
Thanks for the positive vibes. I’m trying to cope with things. It sort of has become a bit more normal getting dressed in the morning to put my bra on, they fit and it’s comfier. Otherwise you hear the skin flopping about. My dads home at the minute and as normal he doesn’t say much. Been wearing a t shirt then a thicker shirt not buttoned up.
My mum and sister have not said much apart from my mum asking if I was ok. I think when I’m at uni if I need more I can see about buying them in a different town.
The more difficult conversations have been with female friends. Asking questions and almost wanting to look. I’m meant to be staying with them in their holiday home in summer. Debra said her mum had been asking what I was going to wear round the pool on chill out days. So I need to tackle that. Next week I start this admin stuff working from home. Summer job so that should occupy me and I don’t need to hide it as much at home. T shirt and shorts
Sounds like you’re really adjusting well. For the swimwear, I have been considering https://www.beefcakeswimwear.com .

It certainly won’t be everyone’s style, but it is the best solution I have found for the modesty issue. It is styled as a non-binary swimsuit. While I don’t specifically identify as that, it seems to meet my needs. 

Sorry if this isn’t what you’re looking for. Just thought I would make the suggestion. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 21, 2021, 04:01:04 PM
The beefcake swimwear is genius . Thanks. That may really work . Will see if I can order
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: prc7966 on June 21, 2021, 07:50:22 PM
Has anybody tried these?  Curious as to how heavy they are, like if you sit out in the sun for any length or time are you going to overheat quickly.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Harmony74 on June 21, 2021, 08:30:05 PM
The beefcake swimwear is genius . Thanks. That may really work . Will see if I can order
They are in stock now but have been sold out all summer. Order quickly!! 
I’m glad you liked the idea. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Harmony74 on June 21, 2021, 08:30:43 PM
Has anybody tried these?  Curious as to how heavy they are, like if you sit out in the sun for any length or time are you going to overheat quickly.
I can let you know. Mine is on order. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 22, 2021, 05:12:09 PM
I have ordered one of these beefcake outfits. The original one. 

Been working at home doing this admin role on the computer and zoom. It is sort of natural now in a morning to get dressed and put my bra on. I still look in the mirror and see the mismatch body of boxers and bra. But it’s comfier sitting at the computer working in a bra rather than the binder or nothing. And round the house I can just t shirt or polo shirt it. My dad pretends nothing is different. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 24, 2021, 09:40:51 AM
Turns out my dad does talk. Late last night he knocked on my bedroom door and came in asking if I was ok. A bit awkward, he asked how bad my chest was and I just lifted by t shirt up. It was just before I went to bed so no bra, just my boobs and nipples on show. I could see how shocked he was. He just said it’s something mum would be better at dealing with, if we had the money he would pay to get it sorted and said I can see why mum thinks a bra is a good idea, I was bigger than some girls. Asked if my friends were ok. Said mum thought hospital review maybe next year which I sort of knew. And I’ll be at university by then.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on June 24, 2021, 01:44:40 PM
Turns out my dad does talk. Late last night he knocked on my bedroom door and came in asking if I was ok. A bit awkward, he asked how bad my chest was and I just lifted by t shirt up. It was just before I went to bed so no bra, just my boobs and nipples on show. I could see how shocked he was. He just said it’s something mum would be better at dealing with, if we had the money he would pay to get it sorted and said I can see why mum thinks a bra is a good idea, I was bigger than some girls. Asked if my friends were ok. Said mum thought hospital review maybe next year which I sort of knew. And I’ll be at university by then.
At age 14 I spent about 2-3 days at a children's hospital to investigate my breasts. They physically examined them, took pictures of them and me, did blood tests and what ever. About 4 months later my dad just says that I have some genetic gene something or other and could pursue treatment if I wanted when I was older. That was it on the topic.

My mom saw me one day when I was about 13 years old looking down at my boobs in my room, and she just acknowledged that I was a bit chestier than some of my friends, (no kidding). That was it, no bra talk like some of you had. I really needed a bit more home support but it was a bit of a don't ask and don't tell think. Perhaps everyone was just a bit to embarrassed to discuss the obvious and I did not visibly complain enough. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 25, 2021, 09:58:36 AM
He’s been fine about it, only another week at home before Dad goes back to work. The bra talk was marginally less embarrassing than when the young doctor who examined me. He was a gym bodied guy basically fondling my boobs and when he felt the nipples they went hard. I went red and he looked me in the eye and smiled. So embarrassing.
It was Christmas when my mum suggested moving from binders to bras. I think she felt more able to do that after we saw the main doctor following the mammogram and tests. At home it’s not too bad. I feel like friends treat me slightly differently now it’s a bit more obvious. But I admit it’s comfier wearing a bra than a binder. I do feel a bit stupid looking in the mirror in bra and  boxers. But when the t shirt or shirt is on it’s ok.,
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 26, 2021, 09:05:09 AM
Well, I’m trying to cope with it all. It’s just all a bit surreal. Yesterday, my mum and dad went shopping and came back with a pack of three blue bras in my size from Matalan, mum threw them on my bed and said try one tomorrow. Apparently they were cheap. Anyhow, they are slightly different design but it fits and is comfy. It said plunge on the packet and I think it’s if you wear shirts more open. She asked me this morning.I said it was fine. But takes pressure of the washing for the ones I wear all the time now. I think she thought blue was more male! 

My friends are fine. I just sense the girls see me as one of them more and the lads look at my boobs more than me. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on June 27, 2021, 07:34:02 AM
It's true that in a lot of ways that you become " one of the girls".   You can relate to them on a different level and you have something in common.  Breasts, bras, clothing choices, insecurities about your breasts, etc.  make you relatable with women.   
Since I work with 95% women, most of them know that I wear a bra and have been helpful with tips, clothing choices, etc.  In a weird way, I feel connected to them.  I have male friends that I spend time with, but it just different.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on June 28, 2021, 06:55:27 AM
Of the several women who know, they do interact with me differently now. I am "part of the club." Many are curious if my experience are similar to them and they seem surprised to find out that boobs on a guy are no different than boobs on a girl. I have many of the same complaints and problems with style, fit and clothing as they do. They touch me differently. Some avoid where the straps and the band are and others make a point to touch those areas. I have one very good friend will occasionally in private pat the top of one of my boobs in a act of solidarity when I have unloaded on her. She too is large breasted. She has been my biggest supporter and a sounding board when things come up. It's good to have those folks in your life. You just have to choose carefully and how much information you give up to whom.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on June 28, 2021, 05:02:09 PM
Well, I feel the girls amongst my friends do see me differently now. I think they knew about my boobs as they could see but now they are “officially” aware of my bra it’s a licence to talk about them. At the weekend one asked if they felt different through the month, had I tried different bras, was I bigger or smaller than my sister and worryingly saying they could go bigger. 

The guys look at my boobs snd not my face. Sort of jealous of their gym bodies and looks. I feel inbetween  the two groups. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on June 29, 2021, 01:31:32 AM
Going forward in university and beyond, most people if any will not know you were a bra unless you tell them, or unless you wear shirts that do not hide it sufficiently. It is up to you whether you want to share that aspect of your life and who you want to share it with. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on July 01, 2021, 01:28:08 PM
Blad is right. I’m currently in a DD bra and almost no one has noticed.  A patterned button down shirt does a great job of obscuring the bra and the projection.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 05, 2021, 08:37:46 AM
Just been a sort of normal week. Wearing a bra every day now normal. Feel better than I ever did squashing them in a binder. Round the house it’s fine, I’m a little more conscious out as I wear loose clothes and I think you can see the mounds at the front. It’s hot so difficult to wear thicker shirts. I looked in the mirror on Saturday and they seem to really fill the bra, feel heavy in it. My mate came round and he’s ok but I see his eyes looking at my boobs. Yesterday I was at my close female friends house. Debras mum who has known me for years was openly talking to me about it. Said I should think about buying some ladies style polo shirts and tops that are built to accommodate boobs more, asked me what size I was. Embarrassing in a way but she means well. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on July 05, 2021, 05:00:40 PM
Any of us who have large breasts do wear some type of women's tops. Not always ideal, but there are times when it is not a bad idea. They are made to accommodate a bosom where men's shirts do not. Just look for polo's that look like men's in the neck. They do make those styles. Also unisex polo's are a good choice as well. The idea is to accommodate the chest, not accentuate it.

I think we all have female friends or relatives who we can go to for advice. I would use them. I wish when I was your age I had someone I could confide in. I didn't. Not until years later. The best piece of advice I have gotten has come from a dear female friend on when she found out I wore bras. Just one look and it was obvious a bra could only help. It was "bras don't change who you are, but makes you a more comfortable person." And she was right. I think you are finding out about the comfort part. I think you will also find out, you will have not changed either. A bra is just like any other garment I wear. It has its ups and downs, but I am glad I started supporting my breasts. It has given me an aire of confidence I didn't think I had anymore. And if you wear a bra to support your breasts, then that's no one's business but yours. It's your body and your breasts. You are the one to have to live with them. No one else.

Hang in there. You're doing good.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gizmodude on July 07, 2021, 05:15:59 AM
I've just caught up on some of your posts. You point out that the contrast between seeing yourself in a bra and boxers makes you uncomfortable or at the very least 'unbalanced'. You could talk to your mom about buying panties in the same colors as your bras. They would match and it may make you feel more at ease with yourself. You can buy some comfortable sets and maybe you, your mom, and your sister could organize a trip to VS to treat yourselves. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 07, 2021, 08:13:31 AM
Well, I’m trying. I have to live with this as no one seems to be in a hurry to see me at the hospital or do anything about it. And we can’t afford private treatment. It does just seem like something I wear and I’m sort of used to it . Certainly at home lounging about I forget. I know that because the other day I was sat in the lounge watching TV, my sister and her boyfriend came in chatting and I only remembered ten minutes in that I was sat in a t shirt with my bra on. I realised when I saw him looking. My sister saw my panic I think and just said he knows, don’t worry. With an old t shirt and jogging bottoms round the house the mounds are noticeable. To be honest, I think they are noticeable whatever when it’s too hot to wear a t shirt and shirt over.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 07, 2021, 08:30:22 AM
I've just caught up on some of your posts. You point out that the contrast between seeing yourself in a bra and boxers makes you uncomfortable or at the very least 'unbalanced'. You could talk to your mom about buying panties in the same colors as your bras. They would match and it may make you feel more at ease with yourself. You can buy some comfortable sets and maybe you, your mom, and your sister could organize a trip to VS to treat yourselves.
Im not sure wearing panties and lingerie was what I had in mind. Not sure how confident I would feel dressing like a girl ! 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gizmodude on July 07, 2021, 04:30:16 PM
You should at the very least talk to your mom about and get her opinion. It would certainly make shopping easier for her. You don’t have to wear lingerie. Bras and panties do not have to be like that. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on July 07, 2021, 05:19:06 PM
You should at the very least talk to your mom about and get her opinion. It would certainly make shopping easier for her. You don’t have to wear lingerie. Bras and panties do not have to be like that.
I think Conor is just trying to adjust to the functionality of wearing a bra daily and is not interested in expanding his wardrobe further into panties. He merely did point out the contrast of a bra on a guy in boxers. 

He probably has enough to adjust too and is approaching this from a functional standpoint rather than exploring other items at this time.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on July 08, 2021, 08:06:34 AM
You should at the very least talk to your mom about and get her opinion. It would certainly make shopping easier for her. You don’t have to wear lingerie. Bras and panties do not have to be like that.
Panties are not really what Connor is worried about at this point. I think that is a very personal decision and really doesn't matter if you are only wearing a bra for support and not fashion.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 08, 2021, 11:04:34 AM
I thought about this today. I looked at my boobs  in the mirror before I put my bra on. Yes they look like a woman’s, yes it does look odd as a boy with a bra but I don’t want to be a girl. It’s just strange that I feel like I have more in common with them on some things! And I think in my head I have it straight and remember what the doctor and nurse said that they were proper breasts, I had a mammogram scan. The binder ended up uncomfy. The bras are better and it stops the movement and feels supported. To be honest I’m worried they are getting bigger or the bras shrink in the wash. It’s just the social and presentation aspects.  And I’m not sure when the hospital will review. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on July 08, 2021, 12:27:53 PM
For me, I liked having them before they stopped growing and I wanted to keep them. At the time, I didn't want to be a girl. That changed over time too. Just don't be too anxious to have surgery for a number of reasons.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on July 08, 2021, 01:11:55 PM
For me, I liked having them before they stopped growing and I wanted to keep them. At the time, I didn't want to be a girl. That changed over time too. Just don't be too anxious to have surgery for a number of reasons.
Quite true, mine have grown on me and now wouldn’t give them up. I’m rather fond of the girls now and like being “unique”. 😁
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: p.r.1974 on July 08, 2021, 01:53:41 PM
With regard to bras getting tighter. Materials do shrink in the dryer, and why the only bras that go in the dryer for me are the cheap pullover sports bras. I hand was the delicate ones, but use dryer bags for those not so; then line dry. Then all the different manufacturers are similar in sizing and materials. or you may be growing. Too many variables to be certain.

I am not fond of throwing multiple bras in a bag to wash, as the hooks tangle in the materials of the cup, and they don't last as long with that. So I use similar items to this.
Woolite Bra Wash Bag & Reviews | Wayfair (https://www.wayfair.com/storage-organization/pdp/woolite-bra-wash-bag-yeu1021.html?piid=)
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 08, 2021, 03:04:41 PM
My mum uses those  bags, to be honest she does all the washing. Presumably the bras go in there. Things magically appear in my bedroom. I do think they are getting bigger or it’s the different feel in the bra as opposed to binder. Just seem to fill them tighter
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: p.r.1974 on July 09, 2021, 12:24:31 AM
I did the whole binder thing, and it was just not comfortable, and too hot to continue. I remember the days of when mom washed my clothes, and wanting to grow up faster than I was. My two cents would be to appreciate the blessings in your life. Learn to do the wash if you haven't, including bra care that seems to be a need for you in the future. 

For whatever reason, your bras are felling tighter. I suppose it comes down to how we react to what we don't have control over. Or, don't currently have access to. We can give the power to someone else, or we can decide to accept what we have. Beyond the mechanics of processing (xyz), I choose how I am effected. I have breasts, and I choose to support them. I also choose not to feed the trolls. 

It sounds like you have a great support base in family and friends, and words fail me in how huge this is. My experience has been far different.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: froger on July 09, 2021, 07:49:11 AM
I think the perceived weirdness of wearing a bra with boxers occurs because we have been conditioned to always see underwater models in a bra and panties for women or just briefs/boxers for men.  So, it's only natural to feel odd mismatching things.  But with anything, the more you do it, the more normal it becomes.  Wear whatever underwear make you comfortable and don't worry about how it looks.  I know women who wear men's underwear because that's their thing.  Men here wear women's because that's their thing.  Your thing is up to you.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on July 09, 2021, 08:29:17 AM
I'm glad to hear that a bra seems to make you more comfortable. At least more comfortable the the constant jiggle from going braless or the constant pressure from binding. Overall, bras seem to be the best way to live with breasts. They aren't for everyone, but, they are for most.

As far as the panties verses boxers, it's really whatever you're more comfortable in. Personally, I find panties more comfortable. It was quite a few years after I had been wearing a bra full time when I started wearing panties. Nobody influenced my decision and you shouldn't let anyone either. That being said, panties are only women's underwear if you want them to be. Otherwise, they are just underwear that you wear.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gizmodude on July 09, 2021, 01:55:25 PM
Yeah what these guys are saying is correct. It really is up to you, and if you do decide to wear panties, they are not girl's underwear anymore. Make them your own and be comfortable with what you are wearing. As soon as you put it on, it's men's clothing. For me I've always been pretty tiny both height and weight wise. I'm in my mid thirties and my breasts are up to a 34D. I had initially started growing in college, and I had no money to really afford any surgical treatments. However, I ended up getting used to it and decided later I would keep them. I found a close knit group of girlfriends in college who I still hang out with. Now though, I mainly shop for for underwear, swimwear, and nightwear at Victoria's Secrets because for me it is the best fit, and it also has some of the most comfortable stuff. If you are still looking for swim suits, I actually bought one from here the other day that imo has a very masculine look actually. It's a one piece. I'll post a link so you can check it out. 

https://www.victoriassecret.com/us/swimwear/swimwear-catalog/victoria-s-secret-portofino-crochet-halter-one-piece-1106071300?brand=swimwear&collectionId=f2ceddea-772a-4d1d-af87-9a2ef1433887&limit=180&productId=eddc3af2-ba9f-4b16-b004-531c8a081633&stackId=23f5fa7e-9208-4191-bc89-dec809d733f7&genericId=11060713&choice=58KG

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: FredL on July 09, 2021, 02:24:48 PM
Another thing I don't get is the suggestion of wearing panties. There's no room for your package. If I did that, my twig and berries would fall out the sides. I never understood boxers either. Briefs are comfortable and they hold things in place. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: p.r.1974 on July 09, 2021, 03:39:19 PM
It is all a moot point if one prefers to wear boxers and briefs. But the lack of understanding can be corrected with a little search. Everyone's mileage will vary in the direction they choose to accept themselves at that moment. I found panties and bras fit my shape better than boxers or briefs and braless. Some styles of panties are more prone to fallout, but I won't cay that that is the case for all. What I have, is here to stay, so I might as well be comfortable, I was snippy and miserable for a long time before hand.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 09, 2021, 04:50:10 PM
Thanks. I’m sort of getting comfortable with it. It’s when you put the bra on and you realise the boobs fit in the cup before you fasten and adjust. I can see they look like girls boobs. Added embarrassment of huge nipples. Whilst it’s been embarrassing I know my mum is trying to look after me. We tried binders but it went beyond it. And I feel better with them held and not wobbling. My close friends mum said if I was a girl I’d be happy with assets like these. I wasn’t quite sure how to take that. And if the colours match on my underwear it’s better. Just felt stupid looking at black boxers or briefs and a white bra.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gizmodude on July 09, 2021, 05:29:42 PM
Victorias Secret does have very good deals on panties where you can buy 5 for $30 or 7 for $28 sometimes. I find that the styles that work best for men are bikini, hip huggers, boy shorts, and cheekies. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: MarcoB on July 09, 2021, 08:31:58 PM
I know women who wear men's underwear because that's their thing.
My wife has worn mine to work a couple of times when she got the unpleasant surprise that she ran out of her own because she hadn't washed recently enough.

and from FredL:
Quote
Another thing I don't get is the suggestion of wearing panties. There's no room for your package. If I did that, my twig and berries would fall out the sides. I never understood boxers either. Briefs are comfortable and they hold things in place. 
Yeah, for most, I don't get the panties thing either.  The bra is for solving a problem.  I don't have any problems that would be solved by wearing panties, even though I would design men's briefs a little differently if I were in on it.  Some here may have a shape down south that's closer to a woman's though, from the same hormonal problem that made them grow breasts.  (I think ABWG said he's in that situation.)


Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gizmodude on July 13, 2021, 07:10:42 PM
Thanks. I’m sort of getting comfortable with it. It’s when you put the bra on and you realise the boobs fit in the cup before you fasten and adjust. I can see they look like girls boobs. Added embarrassment of huge nipples. Whilst it’s been embarrassing I know my mum is trying to look after me. We tried binders but it went beyond it. And I feel better with them held and not wobbling. My close friends mum said if I was a girl I’d be happy with assets like these. I wasn’t quite sure how to take that. And if the colours match on my underwear it’s better. Just felt stupid looking at black boxers or briefs and a white bra.
How has everything been going this past week for you? Are you feeling more comfortable with everything? Are your bras shrinking or are you just growing?
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 21, 2021, 10:44:04 AM
Life just goes on. It’s very hot so been hanging about in shorts, t shirt …..and a bra. It’s sort of normal. They are too big to hide and uncomfy not to wear. Are they getting bigger ? They maybe. The older bras are feeling tighter in the cup, the new ones are a different design that push them together more. I don’t really want to think about it. In this heat, there is no hiding them. Had friends pop round last night and just stuck to what I had on. My sisters boyfriend was here and a few of her friends. They didn’t say anything. Maybe too hot to worry
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on July 21, 2021, 01:07:20 PM
Life just goes on. It’s very hot so been hanging about in shorts, t shirt …..and a bra. It’s sort of normal. They are too big to hide and uncomfy not to wear. Are they getting bigger ? They maybe. The older bras are feeling tighter in the cup, the new ones are a different design that push them together more. I don’t really want to think about it. In this heat, there is no hiding them. Had friends pop round last night and just stuck to what I had on. My sisters boyfriend was here and a few of her friends. They didn’t say anything. Maybe too hot to worry
As I and many of us have said, wearing a bra for breast support just becomes so totally routine that you often forget about the issue and are unconcerned about wearing a bra in public. For much of the day you even forget that you are wearing a bra as you carry on with life. As you alluded to, you are more likely to be fixated on the presence of breasts if you go out braless than if everything is held in place with a good fitting bra. I would particularly find it irritating to go without a bra in hot weather with all the extra boob sweat. It just works and lets us get on with life without constantly being aware of our breasts uncontrolled movement. 

We get up, put on our socks and bra, get dressed, and get on with the day like anyone else. I think you are coming to that point. 

Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 21, 2021, 06:09:11 PM
Well, I guess it is sort of normal now. One of my friends said if people said anything and saw the size of your boobs, they would know you have little option but to wear a bra. It’s out of the house and other people that makes me anxious 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Rich meier on July 21, 2021, 06:31:58 PM
I'm glad to hear that a bra seems to make you more comfortable. At least more comfortable the the constant jiggle from going braless or the constant pressure from binding. Overall, bras seem to be the best way to live with breasts. They aren't for everyone, but, they are for most.

As far as the panties verses boxers, it's really whatever you're more comfortable in. Personally, I find panties more comfortable. It was quite a few years after I had been wearing a bra full time when I started wearing panties. Nobody influenced my decision and you shouldn't let anyone either. That being said, panties are only women's underwear if you want them to be. Otherwise, they are just underwear that you wear.
I just started wearing panties again but for a different reason, have BPH and tend to leak found a womens panties that is leak proof  fit feel good and work good wear them full time bought some for my wife
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Rich meier on July 21, 2021, 06:33:57 PM
For me, I liked having them before they stopped growing and I wanted to keep them. At the time, I didn't want to be a girl. That changed over time too. Just don't be too anxious to have surgery for a number of reasons.
of course

 they color match my bras
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: prc7966 on July 21, 2021, 07:05:30 PM
Well, I guess it is sort of normal now. One of my friends said if people said anything and saw the size of your boobs, they would know you have little option but to wear a bra. It’s out of the house and other people that makes me anxious
Personally, as far as being out of the house in a bra goes I find most people are too absorbed in their phones these days to notice much of anything. I've had conversations face to face while wearing a bra that causes a lot of projection and nothing was said. It wasn't terribly subtle either, the design on the front of my t-shirts tend to distort over my boobs.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on July 21, 2021, 10:16:39 PM


Personally, as far as being out of the house in a bra goes I find most people are too absorbed in their phones these days to notice much of anything. I've had conversations face to face while wearing a bra that causes a lot of projection and nothing was said. It wasn't terribly subtle either, the design on the front of my t-shirts tend to distort over my boobs.
Personally I find this to be true for me too. I just throw a tee shirt on over my bra and go about my business. I’m a 40DD and almost no one has noticed nor has anyone ever remarked upon my obvious (to me) projection. It’s all good!
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on July 22, 2021, 09:27:56 AM
I have boobs, proper girly boobs and nipples. I need a bra. I don’t need panties. 

Summer is the difficult bit. Lots of pool / hot tub bbq events. See my friends , lads basically just in shorts, tops off showing their physique. Girls in bikinis or summery small outfits. Too hot for anything other than a t shirt. I feel like a flumpy hybrid. The tankini thing hasn’t arrived yet. Looked in the mirror this morning and I have cleavage in a bra. I’m wearing coloured t shirts or white t shirt white bra. Shorts and flip flops. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on July 22, 2021, 09:29:31 AM
True story. The other night late realized I needed a few items from the store for breakfast. It was late and I knew the store wouldn't be busy. I was still in my bra and just had an old tee shirt and shorts on. I ran in and got the few items I needed and headed to the self checkout since the registers are not normally manned that late. As I am coming down the aisle, coming towards me is a middle aged woman making that same late night run for last minute items. As she passes me, out of nowhere she leans over as to ask a question and says"Nice rack" and smiles. I must have looked dumbfounded. I did manage to eek out a thank you as she continued on. It totally shocked me. I was a little embarrassed but also it felt good to have a positive comment for a change. I didn't know whether to be offended or hug her neck. Just goes to show you never know.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on July 22, 2021, 10:19:25 AM
Typically with swimming in public, I’ve tried to get into and out of the pool quickly to avoid staring. 

Since I began wearing a bra, I feel that I have choices on how to stay covered without wearing a t shirt that clings to my boobs.  It’s uncomfortable and doesn’t make you feel good. 

I have a pool party on Saturday I’m attending with my co workers. They are all women.  They all know that I wear a bra and would probably care less if I swam topless.  I would feel funny about it. 

If I can’t find a tankini that doesn’t break the bank, I’ll wear a sports bra and dri fit shirt over it.  At least I’ll have some modesty. 
You could wear this and fit in just fine
https://www.lascana.com/Oversized-Tankini-Top,572?sc=GPF21&gclid=CjwKCAjwruSHBhAtEiwA_qCppmQOSs5gwpOdExLErR2GzQiBFhfJ_nb19myT0P1LwRI0FwRW4hjYRBoC9ukQAvD_BwE
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on July 22, 2021, 03:17:57 PM
Such a cool story John! I think as we get older the less we care about the “norms” and can start having fun at the stick in the muds. That she was middle aged she probably fits into the fun group. I’ve yet to have any comments but I have gotten a few smiles and the occasional wondering stare. 😁
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on July 23, 2021, 06:08:49 AM
She was the first positive comment from a stranger I have ever received. Have gotten a lot of nasty ones through the years. I have had many smiles and head nods.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Aussie63 on July 23, 2021, 08:25:59 AM
She was the first positive comment from a stranger I have ever received. Have gotten a lot of nasty ones through the years. I have had many smiles and head nods.
I just wonder, if you had struck up a short conversation with her and you said that you had a certain condition blah blah blah, would it change the subsequent gossip she would no doubt have had with her friends later on about your encounter to one where there was a realization that it could and should be normal for men with gynecomastia, or at least not abnormal?
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on July 23, 2021, 08:34:57 AM
In retrospect I wish I had the whits to do that. It was so unexpected that it goobsmacked me and I really didn't know what to do or say. I have no experience responding to verbal positive comments. My only thought is that she may have thought I was transitioning and this showed she supported LGBTQIA causes. I don't know. If she found out I am just a guy with boobs and nothing else, she may have felt she was duped. Interesting thought. If it ever happens again I will try to remember to do that.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Graham on July 28, 2021, 05:56:58 AM
I used to care if my bra was visible until I didn't. A while back, a lady friend asked me, out of the blue, at lunch, " what size are you?". I knew what she mentioned but, I pretended not to know. I thought about denying it but the was no point. She told me how obvious it was and that she completely understood. I think that I was a DD or a DDD back then. I should have realized that at least to the people that I see everyday would notice not just the little bumps on my back but, the big bumps on the front. We are who we are and we should try to be proud of ourselves for doing what is best for ourselves. In this case, it's wearing a bra that improves our quality of life.

I object to culturalism. Mainly in the expectation of other members of THE culture to uphold the standards established as the cultural norm. If a tribe member came home wearing clothing from another tribe... Oh boy. Look out. Now the tribe may have a male member with gyn. And, just to illustrate a point, the tribe lives in an area for which clothing is least desired. Naturally in this scenario the women do not where ANY clothing over the torso. No-one does. and neither does our man with Gyn. So what's up with our cultural standards. There are inconsistencies. Gynecomastia is prevalent. The numbers of afflicted can be estimated. And those numbers are impressive. I think men with Gyn. should wear the clothing that works for them and step out proud to put their chest out and strut about as if to say I got em and you don't. I'm not sure how to change cultural norms in a quick way but it needs to happen.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Graham on July 28, 2021, 06:35:11 AM
I really couldn’t deal with going to a shop with my mum to have a stranger measure my bust and try bras on. Bad enough my mum did it.
I’m 18
I’m guessing most 18 year old girls buy their own clothes like that .
And there is a difference between buying one in Walmart or going to Victoria’s Secret or another underwear shop

Conner your confidence and bravery is constantly growing. Tell yourself to keep working toward total acceptance, that means you are happy with everything about you, your place in life, the things you have, the clothes you wear... etc. Be proud to be you. Show your friends the strong confident you.
Your friends will love seeing your beautiful smile backed up by an aire of total confidence.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 01, 2021, 08:12:45 AM
Well I’m trying to be brave and confident. No hospital assessment in sight. So I have to cope. Just a normal week. Doing this admin work from home is easy though I will need to go to the office at some point. So sitting round the house wearing my bra isn’t an issue. I feel easier round close friends. Family is ok. Let’s face it, my mum bought them and washes them. I think my boobs are getting bigger. I can feel they are heavier and fill the original bras more. Not sure I want to have that conversation with my mum. I worry because she has a big chest. 

Went into the city last week and hid things with a t shirt / open shirt combination. A few looks. Going away next weekend with friends to a friends holiday home. Their parents will join us 5 days later. I think I’m more nervous about that. Debras mum is the one that said I should dress more non binary and I could see her dad just staring at my boobs. I think I know what women go through as I see the lads who are friends looking at them aswell. Going shopping this week with Debra and she has mentioned nipping to Victoria’s Secret and another shop to look for appropriate outfits for the hot tub as I shouldn’t miss out and feel relaxed. And it’s only our group of friends. I have more stress appearing in front of the lads with my boobs on show. See what the week brings 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 01, 2021, 12:21:23 PM
I think you are doing great. I wish I had the confidence you show when I was your age. I always coward in the shadows and never enjoyed life always afraid of what people might think about a guy with such a feminine trait. Life was hell and it didn't have to be. I let it. I shouldn't have.

Just remember, you are one of 3.75 billion people who have breasts and not all are women. And they enjoy life and and there's no reason you shouldn't either. You just have to adapt having breasts. Women do all the time. It's not a death sentence. It doesn't matter what others think. You only have to satisfy yourself and be comfortable. There are many bra hacks that make it easier having breasts so don't shy away from it.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 02, 2021, 04:09:04 PM
Well , I guess but it’s not easy when the boobs are on the wrong body. 

I’m wondering. I have lost weight over last two months. 9 kg. Is that why my boobs are looking proportionally bigger and feeling different ? I’m slimmer but they now stick out more
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: gizmodude on August 02, 2021, 05:13:34 PM
Well I’m trying to be brave and confident. No hospital assessment in sight. So I have to cope. Just a normal week. Doing this admin work from home is easy though I will need to go to the office at some point. So sitting round the house wearing my bra isn’t an issue. I feel easier round close friends. Family is ok. Let’s face it, my mum bought them and washes them. I think my boobs are getting bigger. I can feel they are heavier and fill the original bras more. Not sure I want to have that conversation with my mum. I worry because she has a big chest.

Went into the city last week and hid things with a t shirt / open shirt combination. A few looks. Going away next weekend with friends to a friends holiday home. Their parents will join us 5 days later. I think I’m more nervous about that. Debras mum is the one that said I should dress more non binary and I could see her dad just staring at my boobs. I think I know what women go through as I see the lads who are friends looking at them aswell. Going shopping this week with Debra and she has mentioned nipping to Victoria’s Secret and another shop to look for appropriate outfits for the hot tub as I shouldn’t miss out and feel relaxed. And it’s only our group of friends. I have more stress appearing in front of the lads with my boobs on show. See what the week brings
Going to VS is actually a good idea. They do have a some nice one piece suits that are not overly feminine, and their stuff is always really comfortable. They also have pajama sets that are inspired from traditional men's styles so if you need lounge stuff at home, they have it. Its very nice that you have an environment of close friends who want you to be relaxed and not have to worry. Worst case scenario is if you buy something and try it out among them, you can always return it if you feel its a bit too much for you. Also as for the weight loss, congrats! Its always nice to be healthy. Sorry if you were expecting your breasts to decrease in size. This just confirms that it is totally a hormonal problem for you especially if you feel they may get bigger. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 02, 2021, 09:21:01 PM
Well , I guess but it’s not easy when the boobs are on the wrong body.

I’m wondering. I have lost weight over last two months. 9 kg. Is that why my boobs are looking proportionally bigger and feeling different ? I’m slimmer but they now stick out more
With true gynecomastia, breast size doesn't change drastically because there is so much glandular tissue that can only be removed with surgery. So as you lose weight, the glandular tissue doesn't reduce. I lost 100 lbs and went from a 42C UK to a 36E UK and my breasts were more noticeable at the lower weight. They do have a more feminine look now and do seem to be a bit heavier, but mine do have some sag to them and that I am sure plays some roll in heft and appearance.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 03, 2021, 09:02:16 AM
Well , I guess but it’s not easy when the boobs are on the wrong body.

I’m wondering. I have lost weight over last two months. 9 kg. Is that why my boobs are looking proportionally bigger and feeling different ? I’m slimmer but they now stick out more
I went through the same.. I was a 38G and now I wear a 36H UK sizing. It's always the best policy to look and feel your best.. Whether it's wearing a bra,, a one piece women's swimsuit, it's obvious that you can't expose your girls.. If you feel and look better and are more confident having the girls secured, you should embrace those garments that work best for your body.

Your breasts are not on the wrong body, you just need an extra garment to help out.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 03, 2021, 12:41:17 PM
I guess I was hoping if I lost weight they may shrink a bit . But they haven’t and that’s why they may look bigger ? 
They feel heavier. And certainly fill the cup in the original bras more I think . 
Going shopping tomorrow. 
I don’t think I have an option but to wear a bra. I know what my boobs look like. Abd they feel better when I have one on. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 03, 2021, 01:32:53 PM
And there's no shame in that decision either. It took me years to come to that decision and as I look back, one I wish I had made sooner. I would have been more comfortable, physically and I suspect mentally as well. It's just something you do and you get on with life. It's not cancer. It's just boobs.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: curiousk on August 03, 2021, 06:39:59 PM
I feel the same way as John.  When your boobs are bigger than 75% of girls in your class every year from 8th-12th grade, I could have used the support.  
I wear mostly lace bras in the summer because of the heat.  I was so happy that someone suggested that.  Good way to keep cool.  
I’m going to be on the look out for tankinis to go on sale soon.  I want to be prepared for next summer.  
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Rich meier on August 04, 2021, 01:05:42 PM
Have you thought about an open cup bra I used to wear them they support your breast butare much cooler than other bras I was 40c at the time but out grew it now 46c and cant find my size. 44 is to tight causes fat rolls on the back that was my favorite go to bra
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: p.r.1974 on August 04, 2021, 07:55:30 PM
I will agree that partial cup bras do not have as mush material or coverage as most other bras. However, they are normally relegated to home use, as the nips are more prominently on display, and especially if they are larger and temperature sensitive.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Rich meier on August 04, 2021, 08:51:41 PM
thats exactly mine but I dont worry about it. even if I wore a regular bra they still show thru a T shirt and a flannel shirtI used to pretty much wear it all the time except when I was working
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 05, 2021, 08:36:15 AM
I survived shopping with the girls. It’s surreal being in these shops knowing you have a bra on , the girls knowing and I’m sure the store assistants realised but said nothing. 

Ended up buying a Regatta Aceana II Tankini top in blue and matching shorts from Next. I don’t have that big a bulge and it fits and hopefully works. Embarrassing that my boobs are bigger than the models on the front of the packet. But hopefully it works for hot tubs. I’m going to be very nervous. They dragged me in Victoria’s Secret. I think they like the idea of educating me. They were buying for themselves. Half an hour in the shop they suggested something I should buy and kept on saying they were better than supermarket bras. To save a scene I agreed. They bought it and I gave them the money. It’s evening blush colour which is easier to hide under clothes I think. The cups are plain but the straps under are lace. Said I’d try it at the weekend when we are away with the group of friends. It does fit. Just got to explain to my mum how it appeared in my draw. A bit embarrassing. Hopefully the tankini works for hot tub party in the house. At least it’s just friends there who know. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on August 05, 2021, 01:07:52 PM
You are having more fun with this than I was able too at your are. It may feel a bit odd and embarrassing, but with all your friends and family knowing and helping out with your introduction to bras it does not get much better than that. Since it is sort of out in the open and accepted that you are best served by wearing a bra then there is no longer the stress associated with trying to hide anything or navigate on your own. You can really just be yourself, a regular guy that just happens to benefit with some breast support from a bra.

So just go with the flow as it seems to all be working out quite well.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 05, 2021, 01:31:18 PM
Conor, the Regatta Aceana II Tankini looks very nice and comfortable and supportive. It also looks like it's modest in appearance which is good. Go enjoy yourself and have a good time and don't worry. You got this. And remember, you've got the girls attention and your chums don't. That puts you in a place they can never obtain!
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 15, 2021, 07:02:05 AM
Survived the weekend break. First issue, sleeping arrangements. Lads crashing in rooms, girls crashing in rooms. Some in a tent outside. I ended up in the house in a small room with two of the guys. And I was lucky, I got a bed . Managed to do all my changing in the en-suite bathroom. Took clothes in with me. So no one saw me in my bra without a top on, although I suspect the two lads may have looked in the draw when I wasn’t there to check my size as it look disturbed. Something that became obvious  in drunken late night conversation. They guessed my cup size. 
First night , I couldn’t face going in the hot tub etc. I looked at my friends and figured why. I’d look stupid. Girls are girls, slim and bikini, the guys all look good in their trunks and physique. I did the sit out in t shirt and shorts. Just thought I would look ridiculous. The following day Debra and Bev were asking me why even I had the outfit. After a discussion and I had sort of realised what one issue was I ended up quietly shaving my legs. I tried the outfit on and it looked better. The Saturday evening after several drinks as others were already relaxing, I nipped in and changed. Just came back out and got in the hot tub. To cheers and wolf whistles. Stayed mainly in the tub and was ok. Alcohol helped! 
Came back for exam results. Got my grades so university in late September.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 15, 2021, 12:49:49 PM
That's amazing! Congratulations on your success with your grades and your bikini 👙! I'm sure you looked great!

How did you feel? Were you comfortable? Doesn't it feel good to dress your body properly? It sounds like the girls were accepting. They know what it's like to have to cover up. They understand that you have to dress your upper half too..

Glad you had fun.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Traveler on August 16, 2021, 04:45:50 PM
I think you’re doing great! You’re handling this so much better than I did growing up. Of course that was a different time and I didn’t have the family support that you do. Good on you! 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 17, 2021, 07:01:41 AM
Just be yourself. You don't have to be anything else. Don't have regrets. My biggest regret was I didn't deal with my gynecomastia until well into adulthood. By that time a chunk of life had passed me by. You are lucky. You have friends who actually care and want you to be happy. They too are dealing with this for the first time as well. They don't know how to react either. They are learning too. Yeah, they are going to rib you about your chest, but that too will pass. After a while your chest will become old news. Remember, your chest is no different than your female friends and everyone should treat your chest in the same manner they would treat your female friends chest. You have female friends willing to help you. Take their help. Their advice will be invaluable. Your male friends have no clue.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 18, 2021, 05:23:49 PM
Well I’m trying to make the best of it. I think it took a lot of alcohol and  persuasion to wear the tankini. Everyone was looking at my boobs. 

My sister and mum asked how it went - I just said fine. Put the new bra in the wash, told my mum that the girls had bought it as a present. She didn’t say anything. My sister saw it drying and made a joke about getting sexy. Just trying to live normal. It is sort of normal just to wear them and I forget about it unless I’m out and trying to hide it . Anxious how I deal with university 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 19, 2021, 10:01:02 AM
I'm sure that most here, who wear a bra daily, will agree that wearing a bra becomes routine and going braless no longer feels normal. Women are no different. They won't leave the house without a bra. I haven't been in public braless for almost 30 years.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: My twins on August 19, 2021, 02:14:55 PM
Just the other day I was in Costco looking at new tops when I realized that I was wearing a bra. Nothing new but I just went shopping without even checking my shirt for any signs of my girls showing. I started to laugh about it. With time you do only think about it when you try to go braless and the twins start to move around. Just be yourself and be comfortable in your own body.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Busted (and happy) on August 20, 2021, 02:04:24 PM
You are doing just fine - just the normal insecurities we all have though I, happily, am mostly past that.
I make  a point  of occasionally having a bra-less day. 
It is always a salutary reminder of how much better life is  whilst wearing one - I rarely last the day without!
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on August 28, 2021, 10:31:53 AM
Well I was getting confident. This week I was in the toilet in a restaurant / pub and this young dad was there with his toddler son. I was washing my hands and he looked at me in the mirror and asked me if I knew that the ladies toilet is next door. Then basically called me a lesbian. I think he thought I was a butch lesbian as I’d come out of the cubical. I could see him looking at my chest and he had seen me sat with a girl outside. But I could see him staring at my chest even though I had a light shirt over the t shirt and not buttoned. I looked in the mirror and it’s noticeable. Not the bra, just the fact I have boobs. Debra says my skin is soft and I never did have much facial hair. 

So confidence dipped. But still wearing as it’s so uncomfortable not to. And I look in the mirror and they are girls boobs stuck on my body
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on August 28, 2021, 12:55:23 PM
When I was in my early teens I was often mistaken for a developing girl as a result of the boob bumps presenting themselves and my still youthful face. Aging eliminated that misidentification. 

This will diminish for you.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 28, 2021, 01:12:56 PM
Conor,

To this day, if people can't see me like in a drive through ordering queue, they will say ma'am to me because of my female sounding voice. A byproduct of what made me develop breasts. It used to really make me uncomfortable and angry. Now, I just go along with it and get the satisfaction of the reaction when they see me when I pull around. It's nothing and remember, you will never see this man again. Who gives a flip what he thinks or says. He is the one with the issue, not you my friend. Not you. You are as you are supposed to be. Don't forget that.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: MarcoB on August 28, 2021, 04:22:37 PM
he looked at me in the mirror and asked me if I knew that the ladies' toilet is next door. Then basically called me a lesbian. I think he thought I was a butch lesbian as I’d come out of the cubical.
It wasn't too many years ago that I myself didn't really know about major gyne, let alone about the more-rare Klinefelter syndrome.  I can still hide my own gyne, but thoughts do cross my mind about what I might say if it gets so big in the future that I can't hide it anymore and someone ignorantly makes a comment like the above.  The public will be more accepting if we can come up with a brief, gracious explanation saying something like that it's from a hormone disorder we didn't sign up for.  Perhaps we can formulate a standard line here, or a few different ones, so we can be ready to handle various situations in a way that promotes understanding.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 28, 2021, 08:46:33 PM
My standard retort is "I have a medical hormonal disorder" and that usually ends it.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Busted (and happy) on August 29, 2021, 03:54:05 PM
My experience is that the less covert you try to be when "they" are small enough for you to hide them, the better you cope with with "them" when the hiding strategy runs out of road. 
This is true for people you see regularly over years. For the others I just don't give a toss 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: MarcoB on August 30, 2021, 04:19:20 AM
My standard retort is "I have a medical hormonal disorder" and that usually ends it.
That should work, although "medical" makes it sound like you're sick, which I don't consider to be accurate.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: MarcoB on August 30, 2021, 04:27:34 AM
My experience is that the less covert you try to be when "they" are small enough for you to hide them, the better you cope with with "them" when the hiding strategy runs out of road.
This is true for people you see regularly over years. For the others I just don't give a toss
That makes sense.  Two in my family have seen me with just a tank-type undershirt and no bra, exposing the still-smallish mountain, but I know extended family would find it pretty eye-popping.  I'll have to think about how I'll handle it.  I have time though, unless growth spurts start coming in more-rapid succession.  If my mother's small breast size is any indication, I shouldn't ever get anywhere near as big as some on this forum.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 30, 2021, 05:48:07 AM
While I agree, it's not a sickness, as a response, it's effective.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Fatty on August 30, 2021, 09:41:23 AM
Hey Conor

I haven't read all 13 pages, but just want to highlight that your mother is an absolute super star. Your sister and father should also be commended for their support / not making a big deal out of it.

Honestly mate, your mum is a legend. You're truly lucky to have that kind of support (if you'll excuse the pun :-)). I'm sure you've told her this, but just in case, do let her know.


-C
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Busted (and happy) on August 30, 2021, 09:51:39 AM
True Marco, for the vast majority it is not a medical condition in the sense that any treatment is required. Genetics and aging affect hormonal changes.
All breast sizes are NORMAL (Medically) and do not require treatment.
For personal reasons some may choose surgery or hormonal treatments.
However for me the discomfort of growth and sore nipples  eventually made me seek out Medically advice. His advice (apart from "live with it") was to wear a bra (well tested by ladies over many years and proven to work).
My retort to any comments ,when necessary is Yes I do have a large chest (seems to go down better than "Breasts") and the bra is Dr's advice)
Works for me.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on September 12, 2021, 08:51:38 AM
I guess I just froze. I thought he was going to create a scene or at worst touch them. Just mentioned it later to the girl I was with. Trying not to let it wreck me. I looked in the mirror and you can see boobs with a bra and without. There is no hiding it completely. And still no hospital review appointment. I sat there thinking when I go do I wear a bra or tell them I do ? That would be making a statement as the nurse would see. 
Life’s just moving on, go to uni at the end of the month. My mum who is a legend I guess asked me what I was going to do. I don’t have a lot of option but to adopt the t shirt baggy shirt option and bra. And hope nothing embarrassing happens. 
I’m worried they are bigger. The nipples are sensitive but that’s quite an awkward conversation to have as a lad… mum I think I need a bigger bra. Maybe when I’m away I can face ordering on the internet myself and take control. But that would be a c size. 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on September 12, 2021, 10:50:18 AM
At university will you live away from home or commute from home?

If you live away from home will you have your own room or a shared room?

Generally a lot of students keep to themselves on campus unless you belong to clubs or staying at university dorms with all their social interactions. So depending on the situation you may range from invisible to a lot of close social interaction.

As far as any hospital evaluations maybe just be yourself and wear a bra as you would normally.

I think this first year of university will begin to give more perspective and you may find that your are reasonably content to just continue to manage your breasts with wearing a bra.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Conor W on September 12, 2021, 03:33:02 PM
I’m moving away from home for university and living in student accommodation. Almost like a bed sit with my own bathroom and shower, desk, bed snd small kitchen. There is a communal lounge on the corridor and it’s mixed male and female. But I don’t want to be a recluse. 

With the size of my boobs, I can’t not wear a bra. Otherwise I’m going to have to strap them down and that’s very uncomfortable compared to this. Can’t imagine living with them forever 
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Johndoe1 on September 12, 2021, 04:20:37 PM
Conor,

After awhile you just forget they are even there. I have been living with my breasts before you were born and I am here to tell you, a lifetime with them is not a death sentence. As time goes on, it gets easier. There are many of us here who will attest to that fact.

Stiff upper lip.
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: Orb on September 12, 2021, 08:13:24 PM
Conor,

  This is my first post to you as I have just rejoined this group.
It's been a journey.  For you and for me.  Each situation, life is different.  There is no right answer on how to deal with what our life's journey lays on our path.  How we deal with it is what defines us.  Having looked back at your journey I would say your in a great position.  You have support from the home front, and a great support group of friends.  For some it's as new to them as it is for you.  Give them the grace you want them to give you.  Your a strong lad.  You have many great mates. 
I believe we are our own worst enemies.  You've got this!  I know the mind set of the general population is shifting.  They aren't as ignorant as those before.  Don't allow others the privilege to slip you into the mold they feel all of society must fit into. 
Be strong!
Be You! 
Chin up mate!
Title: Re: Wearing a bra for now
Post by: blad on October 12, 2021, 11:01:29 PM
I wonder how Conor is doing now. I presume he is in university at this point. I hope he can give us an update.
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