Gynecomastia Support Forum

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: curiousk on March 29, 2021, 08:01:43 AM

Title: Interesting
Post by: curiousk on March 29, 2021, 08:01:43 AM
Yesterday, I was watching the show " 600 lb Life" on TLC.  The person that the show was about was a woman named Krystal.  She was morbidly obese and in need of weight loss surgery.  She has a condition called PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome.  This condition causes her to grow facial hair to the point that if she doesn't shave at least every other day, she'll grow a full moustache or beard.  So shaving her face is a part of her daily routine because that's the easiest, accepted way to deal with facial growth for a man or woman.  I don't believe that she would be shamed for taking this course of action to handle this problem.  

This ties into us men who choose to wear a bra for our breast growth.  We believe the best way to handle having enlarged breasts is to wear a bra and that's acceptable.  We have breasts that are large enough to need the support that a bra brings so it's an accepted part of hormone imbalance that gives us boobs and some women facial hair that requires shaving.

Just thought the parallel was interesting.

Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: SideSet on March 29, 2021, 09:49:10 AM
 I agree. Through nothing she did, she grew facial hair like a man, so needed to shave like a man.   If she didn’t shave, just imagine the beard she would have on her face. 

 Through nothing we did, we grew breasts like a woman, so need to wear a bra like a woman. If we went around braless, just imagine all the nipping out and jiggling on our chests. 

In both cases, best to do with the opposite gender does than to try to stay within strict rules  for our assigned genders. 

 She shops for razors and shaving cream, and anybody  seeing her I can tell they are for her because she needs to shave just like a man does. We shop for bras and anybody seeing us can tell the bras are for us because we need to wear a bra just like a woman does.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: taxmapper on March 29, 2021, 11:38:39 AM
Blows out alot of established norms eh? 
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: curiousk on March 29, 2021, 10:01:17 PM
I agree. Through nothing she did, she grew facial hair like a man, so needed to shave like a man.  If she didn’t shave, just imagine the beard she would have on her face.

 Through nothing we did, we grew breasts like a woman, so need to wear a bra like a woman. If we went around braless, just imagine all the nipping out and jiggling on our chests.

In both cases, best to do with the opposite gender does than to try to stay within strict rules  for our assigned genders.

 She shops for razors and shaving cream, and anybody  seeing her I can tell they are for her because she needs to shave just like a man does. We shop for bras and anybody seeing us can tell the bras are for us because we need to wear a bra just like a woman does.
You nailed it.   Probably the first few times she had to go out to buy razors and shaving cream, I'm sure she was embarrassed and self conscience, but it got easier for her to do after a few weeks or months.  While she still might be slightly embarrassed, she still goes out and buy razors and shaving cream.
I have no embarrassment to go out and shop for bras or try on.  They are for my comfort first and appearance second.  Acceptance of your situation allows you to freely seek out solutions and in this case, wearing a bra helps control enlarged breasts.  Best decision I've made. 
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Dale Warnio on March 30, 2021, 08:08:23 AM
While bra shopping, have been told a number of times  by sales associates that you would be surprised how many men they have fitted for bras. 

Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 30, 2021, 08:16:49 AM
It is very interesting. I can draw a parallel to that with my own life. I was just 16 years old when I was professionally fitted with my first bra. That's about the average age when teenage boys start shaving. I was clearly not on that path. lol
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: curiousk on March 30, 2021, 04:11:59 PM
Honestly, I could have been doing the same thing as you.  I probably didn't start shaving until my early 20's.  No reason to shave before that.  I probably could have gotten fitted for a bra when I was 11-12 years old.  Watching that show got struck a cord with me, how similar the situations were.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Traveler on March 31, 2021, 12:04:54 PM
Honestly, I could have been doing the same thing as you.  I probably didn't start shaving until my early 20's.  No reason to shave before that.  I probably could have gotten fitted for a bra when I was 11-12 years old.
Amazing how we all have overlapping situations.  It’s not all the same with each of us, but there are a lot of similar stories.
I was pretty hairless too until my 20’s and could pass the pencil test by 13-14. Getting my hormone profile recently has explained so much about my situation. Haven’t watched the show but it sounds like it’s another example of our differences aren’t that different.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Aussie63 on April 01, 2021, 06:17:26 AM
There is an aspect of this where I'm going to stick my neck out and go against the grain here.

Although I can obviously see the similarities in personally using a product in a way that does not fit the normal gender styereotype, whether it be a razor or a bra, the outcome is different.

The lady in question is buying and using shaving products to temporarily get rid of her facial hair, but men with gynecomastia do not buy and wear bras to get rid of their breasts! They do it to manage the breasts that they have learnt to accept and make themselves more comfortable.

If the comparison is purely between female facial hair and male breasts, then every time Krystal shaves it is like a man with gynecomastia undergoing a double mastectomy. My point is, the purpose of her shaving is different to the purpose of a man wearing a bra. She doesn't accept her facial hair. She's doing it to comply with her expected gender stereotype regarding physical appearance. To me, the perfect comparison would be for her to accept her facial hair, grow a beard and mo' and buy a grooming device product to keep it trimmed in her preferred style, just like some men buy different styles of bras to contain and shape their breasts in different ways.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Dudewithboobs on April 01, 2021, 09:37:35 AM
2 million percent agree. The comparison in my opinion is not even close. As Aussie said the best would be for her to grow a beard and learn to accept it deal with it and eventually be confident with it as most of us have become in having to wear a bra. A woman shaving is no where near the spectrum of a man having noticeable breasts. And when I say noticeable I’m talking like a 34-38 c or d cup not a 44-46a or b. And I’m not saying that to be rude or mean just some have breasts and then have the belly and body hair to make anyone who would see it go mehhh dudes just fat. Then there’s others who are in better weight conditions who have projected breasts sticking out and make people go wtf does that dude have t—ts and holy sh— is he wearing a bra. 

I feel I’m going on a tangent and getting off track. Point of opinion is this lady has a beard she can shave it and throw some make up on and be done for the day or till evening. Men with honest breasts and sizable volume cannot just take them off. Sure we can put a sports bra on or compression shirt or what have you to minimize it but if this lady goes out to a beach or intimacy with another they are not gonna know she can grow a lumberjacks beard. But if we go to the beach or intimate with another we are going to be exposed and there is going to either be staring ignoring talking gossip turned off or lucky maybe turned on by what they see on us. 

Coffee is strong sleep is minimal stress of the week is high so forgive me if I went off the rails and again I hope I didn’t offend anyone. 
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: taxmapper on April 01, 2021, 09:58:40 AM
Well I will throw in this. 

We have all heard of and seen various pictures and memes of the "Bearded women" of the old timey freak shows of the 19th century. 

Men with breasts have been shown throughout history without a single nod of an eyebrow upward. (buddha?)   But the core of this is that established norms say women do not grow facial hair and men do not have boobs. So ergo, a woman shouldn't be shaving her face and a man shouldn't be wearing an over the shoulder bolder holder.  
otherwise she is seen as a mutant of some sort and he is looked upon as a cross dressing freak. 


Yet, here we are, and thus the comparison IMO is valid.   


The grand irony for me is that I actually want mine to get larger.  Go figure that! 

So to me the lady has an issue that in reality if we are as open minded as some would claim, this would almost be a non issue. 

:)
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Dudewithboobs on April 01, 2021, 11:11:14 AM
I would agree with the comparison in that context and could largely change my view of the initial perspective of the comparison. I still believe it is much easier for a woman to clean shave and throw some make up on and call it a day and can be confident in pools public and other arenas of not being noticed. Where a man who is in fair shape lack of body hair there and sizable breasts clearly cannot do the same without a tankini or shirt or topless and still be very aware people are seeing what is to be seen whether they judge stare or talk is whatever. Society says sure both situations are odd and not normal but one side clearly has an incredible advantage over the other of being okay and finding ways to disguise and evade stares. 

Though like you the grand irony has lately become the same for me. My bras are getting fuller and I often tell my wife I feel they are growing and asking if my chest is looking weird. My shirts don’t fit right even more so than before and without a bra you can see a little jiggle when I walk in my shirts.  she says it’s all in my head and nothing is there. But I often wonder if it’s just a “see you every day so I don’t notice it” effect cause I’m 36 under and 39 over at 205lbs whereas two months ago I was 36 under 37 3/4 over at 217lbs. 
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Johndoe1 on April 01, 2021, 11:13:32 AM
For the "what it is worth", IMO, she has not accepted her facial hair by the fact she is trying to keep it shaved to look "female". How many of us have tried to hide our chests to appear "male"? (my hand goes up). Has she admitted she has facial hair and should do something about it? Yes. But admitting is not the same as accepting. I admitted I had breasts for years, but have only come to accept them in the past few years. Now we don't know if she indeed did come to accept the facial hair and then decided like many men she would rather shave than deal with the hair (again, my hand goes up).  I accept my facial hair (what I have), but for me, I would rather not have a hairy face, so I shave. But in my younger days I did grow out my hair and had a beard. I currently have neither. Does that mean I don't accept my hair on my head or face?

Something to stir the pot because I can! :D
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: FredL on April 01, 2021, 12:49:27 PM
The parallels are more like this:


Neglect. Woman letting beard grow out without maintaining it = Man letting boobs hang freely.

Accept. Woman Getting a beard trimmer and maintaining a beard = Man wearing bra for support and shape.

Conceal. Woman getting a razor and shaving beard = Man wearing compression garment or loose, layered clothing to hide.

Rectify. Woman getting electrolysis, or solving the underlying problem = Man getting surgery.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: gmast on April 01, 2021, 07:18:59 PM
For the "what it is worth", IMO, she has not accepted her facial hair by the fact she is trying to keep it shaved to look "female".
Seriously?  If a guy thinks he looks better without a beard and shaves, he hasn't accepted his facial hair?  Oh look, its posted on April 1.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Johndoe1 on April 01, 2021, 08:33:25 PM
For the "what it is worth", IMO, she has not accepted her facial hair by the fact she is trying to keep it shaved to look "female".
Seriously?  If a guy thinks he looks better without a beard and shaves, he hasn't accepted his facial hair?  Oh look, its posted on April 1.
;D
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: p.r.1974 on April 03, 2021, 12:00:56 PM
Having been blessed/cursed with very little body hair my entire life, I would have chosen to have more while growing up, and less now. I choose to shave my face due to the patchy and sparse look, because I present the best version of myself this way. I also wear bras for the same reason. As we develop and accept who we become, our opinions and how we present ourselves changes.

With the woman shaving, and the male wearing a bra, the common thread appears to be societal blending by not drawing as much attention. A full beard on a woman and swaying boobs on a man, with current societal binary gender designations, would attract the eye of some. The difference is that most people seem to asses and move on, while some pass judgement and harass before moving on.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: 42CSuprise! on April 03, 2021, 03:44:08 PM
My brassieres have been in a drawer the past few months so I felt no need to join this conversation... but here I sit wearing a lovely brassiere I've shown to you fellows in the past and it seemed quite natural to visit and catch up a bit.

I see a parallel in this woman's plight and our own that has been touched upon already.  We're both coming to terms with the reality the bodies we've been given put us outside the norm for our gender.  Men on this side of the website are working with acceptance after a lifetime of confusion and shame, rather than attempting to remove the problem through surgery... which itself can create problems I won't go into.  Whether acceptance necessitates adding a brassiere to our wardrobe is another matter and it is clear most of the men here are finding pleasure in shopping for attractive brassieres and then wearing them.  There may be practical advantages for those with very large breasts, but, doubtless, acceptance can lead to celebration, which is evident on this website.  I've spoken about my fixation with the breasts I carry with me every day, a fixation that has a sexual component to it... but I won't go there because it might offend the moderator and some among us who are still finding acceptance difficult.

I've been here long enough that I understand the proclivities of participants.  All of us have been on our own journeys and the breasts we attend to have impacted each of us in our own way.  I respect that and am happy this place exists so WHEN I feel the urge to put on a brassiere that puts everything in place in the most delicious way, I can talk about it with men who understand.  I wonder how long I'll keep putting a brassiere on... it will be removed shortly because it is much nicer to hike without a harness that generates heat.  When I do wear a brassiere while hiking it is likely because my fixation is at a high level and I'm more in tune with how my breasts are presented through a tight tee shirt than the trail ahead... that could be both tittilating and dangerous... :o

I decided to wear a brassiere hiking and it's all YOUR fault...  :P

It was a wonderful hike... the only problem was that going down a steep hill where placement of my hiking poles was critical, I couldn't keep my eyes off my amazing breasts.  But I survived and got home safely.  I had to dry off and set the brassiere aside to dry... but I had another one to put on.  Mmm good.

Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: aboywithgirls on April 04, 2021, 09:38:30 AM
I just wanted to add this about my own experience.

I needed a bra long before I had any use for a razor. I was 12 years old when my mom sat me down for the " bra talk". I realize that most here probably didn't have this conversation with their own mother. By the time I was 16, I was large enough that I had to wear a bra full time. I still had not started to or even having any need to shave.

I was probably 22 years old before I had any facial hair to even bother with even thinking about shaving. In contrast, I had a top drawer full of bras that I had been wearing for six years.

I clearly had and still have more use for a bra than a razor. I have to wear a bra every day. I only use a razor to clean up a slight mustache once a week.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: 42CSuprise! on April 04, 2021, 11:34:10 AM
Looking at it from that perspective we likely see how the hormone mix that brought us breasts also diminished the heaviness of the hair that grew on our faces and bodies.  I've had a beard for most of my adult like but it was very slow in developing and has never been thick.  I have NO hair on my legs, and only light hair on my chest and arms.  But I do have breasts that have grown considerably in the last few years.  All of that said, it seems the topic under discussion is how we come to terms with not fitting the gender stereotype.  ABWG is probably one among very few who discussed breast development with their mother.  I was putting on brassieres but they belonged to my neighbor and if anyone found out I'd have been in big trouble.  Also, my diminutive breasts at that age needed assistance to fill out the brassiere cups, especially so since my neighbor was quite voluptuous.  But that is another story
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: MarcoB on April 05, 2021, 03:18:31 AM
Looking at it from that perspective we likely see how the hormone mix that brought us breasts also diminished the heaviness of the hair that grew on our faces and bodies.  I've had a beard for most of my adult like but it was very slow in developing and has never been thick.  I have NO hair on my legs, and only light hair on my chest and arms.  But I do have breasts that have grown considerably in the last few years.  All of that said, it seems the topic under discussion is how we come to terms with not fitting the gender stereotype.  ABWG is probably one among very few who discussed breast development with their mother.  I was putting on brassieres but they belonged to my neighbor and if anyone found out I'd have been in big trouble.  Also, my diminutive breasts at that age needed assistance to fill out the brassiere cups, especially so since my neighbor was quite voluptuous.  But that is another story
I had thought of posting a survey about body / facial / head hair versus breast growth.  I have virtually no leg hair (a woman would be jealous) and very little chest hair, and my arm hair is mild for a man.  I have a beard, not a thick one though.  I lost the hair on the top of my head in my 20's, but that seems to be, according to one doctor, because of the particular shampoo I was using, which was great for dandruff but made your hair fall out.  My breast problem started four years ago at age 57, and I did not initially realize that the pain was because growth was starting.  Fortunately it's plenty small to hide (and if my mother's small breast size is any indication, I shouldn't have much to worry about in that respect), but going without a bra or bralette of some kind is very uncomfortable.  Jogging is the worst!  My new favorite is the Jockey Cotton Allure bralette, although the largest size (XL) is just barely big enough.  https://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-womens-cotton-allure-bralette

For our son's 30th birthday recently, my wife gave him a shirt.  I had said earlier that in junior high and high school he had quite a Hershey's-Kiss-sized bump on his left breast, and I was concerned that he would get ridiculed for it; but he never said anything about it.  He's very quiet though.  At this birthday gathering, he changed his shirt in front of everyone, to try on this new one, and although he did not take off his undershirt, it was obvious that this skinny young man with a beard and loads of leg hair had breasts as big as his tiny wife's.  I'm sure she has thought (or said out loud at home in private), "It's not fair!  My own breasts should at least be bigger than my husband's!"

The head post reminded me of this video though, of a girl with a thick beard that she had to shave every day, and still got ridiculed:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z6bL7yReJY
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Aussie63 on April 06, 2021, 08:39:59 AM
At risk of sounding a bit misogynistic - which I absolutely refute - I've got a bit more to say about normal or expected gender stereotypes, which I mentioned earlier.

I think I might have also already mentioned some of the following a couple of months ago.

Firstly I must declare that I have not seen the show that curiousk referred to when he started this thread. 

The lady shaves her face. I know it isn't in the same league, but isn't this just a massive magnification of what many post-menopausal or elderly women do now, dealing with errant hairs growing out of their chins? What about shaving legs and underarms, which is now considered de rigueur for all western women? There are probably more shaving and grooming products available for women than men when dealing with facial and body hair! A woman buying shaving products whether for herself or her man would also be considered normal, but a man buying a bra? Yes, it should be normal for those who need to, but I suspect would be viewed with suspicion most of the time unless the client has built a good relationship with the salesperson or has gone to a specialty store, yet there are still the reactions from other customers to deal with.   

Jeans were invented for men working in mines around 150 years ago. Women didn't commonly wear pants until well into last century and I was surprised to just learn that Levi's didn't release jeans designed for women until 1934. Now it is normal for women to shop for and wear jeans especially designed for them if they want to - and they look fantastic - but it is not normal for a man to buy and wear a bra if he needs to, let alone if he wants to. 

Regarding underwear, up until maybe the 1970's it was y-fronts for men, full cut panties or girdles for women. Thankfully there is much more choice available now for both genders, and women now commonly buy and wear a style known as boyleg briefs. But is it common for men to buy 'girl leg' briefs instore and get away with it? No!

Sorry, but the more I think about it, the less sympathy I have for Krystal. 

I guess the question is, how can it be made fashionable for men to wear bras? 

Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: curiousk on April 11, 2021, 08:19:42 AM
Great conversation with a lot of great points being made.  I'm not sure if it will ever be fashionable or acceptable in society for men to wear bras or women having facial hair.  In my opinion, it all comes down to the acceptance of your situation.  I've chose not to have surgery to remove my breasts, so wearing a bra is the way I'm choosing to deal with them.  I just thought that the parallels between the 2 were interesting.

Like ABWG, I had breasts long before I had a need to shave.  I've had very little body hair all of my life.  In the same way it was difficult to be a 11-12 year old boy with B cup breasts, how tough would that be to be a 13-14 year girl that needed to shave her face every other day or have a 5 o clock shadow. 

Hormones do some crazy things to the human body!!
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Dudewithboobs on April 12, 2021, 11:25:12 AM
I’d agree. I can’t imagine a time when a man openly wearing a bra is going to be seen as anything other than wtf. I imagine a large majority of women will continue to never be ok with it. And men will largely see it as some kind of gay trait. But luckily I don’t think many if any really pick up on a man in bra unless they are hugely busted which they wouldn’t not be noticed anyways. But for us who are b or c cups I don’t think women or men will be in the majority of understanding. Or find it fashionable or fitting for their or a man to be in a bra. Unless they start marketing it as such it will always be seen as female attire. 
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: aboywithgirls on April 18, 2021, 07:26:15 AM
For me, It's as simple as I have big boobs and for me, a bra is the best way to manage them. I could elect to wear a binder, or have a double, radical mastectomy.

A woman with facial hair has options as well. She can shave daily or elect to undergo electrolysis.

I can say that I am grateful that I have a large selection of cute bras in my size to chose from. Being a 36H, it wasn’t long ago when women in my size had black, white, and beige bras only.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: curiousk on April 22, 2021, 07:45:19 AM
Yeah, the bras I have are beige, black and gray.   The next bra I buy will have either a different color or a funky pattern.  I think that would be cool.  After all, I'm the only one who will know.  I don't have a need for a new bra anytime soon.   The ones I have still fit great and are in great condition.  
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Johndoe1 on April 22, 2021, 09:23:16 AM
My bra colors range from black to grey to blue and different shades of beige. I had ordered a red bra but the shop was out of stock on that color in my size so I opted for the blue color instead. In my size there are some bright colors and interesting patterns and details and the next bras I buy will be more visually interesting. I am getting tired of the same utilitarian bras.
Title: Re: Interesting
Post by: Dudewithboobs on April 22, 2021, 02:25:30 PM
I really don’t care to have cute bras myself just ones that go with the clothing I wear and colors I often go to. All my bras are black white blue or shades of red. I don’t wear an undershirt anymore and just wear a bra with my shirt that makes sense. I’m sure some want the cute or fashionable bras for the fun and flare like collecting shoes and watches etc. or are trans or living as feminine rather than masculine. Whatever your bra style is or whatever you choose to buy wear etc long as it suits you and your comfortable, enjoy it. I definitely would like some push up bras I have advocated against them before but they really are quite comfortable same with bralettes but they tend to be rather lacy which I personally don’t mind but the wife if she found my bras would flip and if they were lacy and push up she’d tumble lol. 
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