Gynecomastia Support Forum

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: blad on October 18, 2020, 02:00:31 PM

Title: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: blad on October 18, 2020, 02:00:31 PM
Recent discussions made me wonder what prompted forum members to try their first bra. Was trying a bra for the first time a result of others suggesting you may need one or would benefit from one, or was it completely a conclusion you personally had that perhaps a bra would be a helpful garment.

For me, as I have stated before, I developed breasts around the age of 13. As one can imagine, this came to the attention of virtually the entire school body; both from obvious projection through my clothing to the really obvious exposed breasts during skins teems in gym sports. At that time of my life I was often misidentified as a budding girl by those who did not know me, and looking back on pictures of myself from that time it is obvious why they would make that honest mistake.

This obvious presentation of breasts made me a target of constant comments that "I needed a bra" or "what is your bra size", as only kids in school can do so well. These constant comments were deflected by me the best I could while being deeply embarrassed. But after a period of time a light bulb went off; would I actually fit a bra and how would it feel to wear one?

Trying one of my sister's bras at home alone one day confirmed that I did actually fit a bra rather well. Further, I was unexpectedly surprised that I liked how the bra felt to wear and that I thought it looked good on me. At the time of my growth, it really did look like a girl wearing her bra. The positive feelings of the experience lead me to wearing a bra as much as I could and finding ways to buy my own. The initial feelings were a confusing mix of young hormones, the sensations of wearing a bra, the secretive element, the confirmation of the comments made by others that I needed one, and the realization that I actually was more comfortable to wear one. The comfort aspect became more and more clear with less bouncing and even more comfortable bent over a desk doing homework. I began to hate the feeling of being braless during those times I could not wear one.

This was a journey that I had to navigate on my own in a confusing time of the teen age years without internet. But I am not sure when I would have considered trying a bra without all those comments made by others. Although those comments were not made to be helpful, they were correct in the end. I almost wished I could have been forthright and told them, "yes you are right that I needed a bra and I wear one now"

As time went on I was increasingly more comfortable to wear a bra daily, and am satisfied to do so. I don't like the sensations of being braless, and a bit of me still likes how it feels to just wear a bra. Positive reinforcement to wear a bra for the rest of my life and be content.

But, to my question, how did you come to try a bra for the first time? Were you told you should try a bra? Or did you just logically come to that conclusion to try one for the first time on your own? How did you feel when you first tried a bra.

Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 18, 2020, 02:44:37 PM
I'm a bit of an outlier in this conversation, a fact I've touched upon both in private conversations and on a couple of threads.  My relationship with brassieres is rooted in early sexual trauma... so I was a crossdresser before I felt a need to wear a brassiere out of need.  Yes, I developed small breasts in puberty and have long felt embarrassed by their presence.  And yes, my breasts have begun to grow with my age related reduction in testosterone, which is coupled with an increase in estrogen.  Whether I need to wear a brassiere, I am experimenting with it and am exploring the relationship between early sexual trauma, some experiences with crossdressing that I haven't engaged with seriously over thirty years ago, and with breasts now filling the brassiere I'm wearing.  So it's a complicated story... but I know at least part of that story is best explored here with other men who actually have breasts, rather than with men who long to have breasts and must rely on breast forms to fill out their brassieres.  I have spent about a month chatting with those fellow, but I don't think I belong with that crowd.  When I mention this crowd and our relationship with having breasts, my comments are universally ignored.  They're more interested in fantasy than reality... our reality is breasts that often welcome a brassiere.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: boobs are normal on October 19, 2020, 01:54:17 AM
Very uncomfortable breasts and jiggle even when only an 36A cup + Docs advice tests and formal diagnosis (male ex navy! ) 
Great advice especially they are, as expected, a bit bigger now.
Will be forever grateful to him
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: aboywithgirls on October 19, 2020, 06:38:54 AM
I had the biggest boobs in my class even when I graduated from high school. 

I was teased in school, almost identical to Blad's story.  However it was my own grandmother who made the comment to my mother that I needed to start wearing a bra. The next day my mom explained bras to me and gave me some hand me down bras from my sister. I wore bras at home for a few years until when I was 16 she told me that I needed to start wearing a bra full time. She took me to JCPENNEY for my first fitting and new bras. I know that the lady who help me thought that I was a girl. I was a 34C. She asked us if I needed any new panties as well.

I've been wearing a bra full time for over 30 years now. 
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: Traveler on October 19, 2020, 03:25:41 PM
I’ve had some breast growth since puberty. Enough to keep me from ever swimming publicly again. I had tried on my mom’s halter top as a teen but never put on a real bra until 40 years later when my boobs had just gotten too big to be comfortable without. For two years I resisted a full bra by trying pull overs and compression tees first. One day I saw the A Bra That Fits site and used their calculator. Had my wife help me measure to be certain as the size they recommended was huge! Still, even my wife had to admit I was just to big to go without support and she ordered a selection of bras to find my real size. That was just two months ago.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: MarcoB on October 19, 2020, 05:02:46 PM
She took me to JCPENNEY for my first fitting and new bras. I know that the lady who help me thought that I was a girl. I was a 34C.
Did your lack of testosterone also mean you lacked facial hair and a lowish boy's voice, and had your pelvis already taken on the shape of a girl's, and did you have hair that could have been mistaken for a girl's?  I'm just wondering how I can come across as more understanding in the future if/when I meet a teenage boy with such a case of gyne and how they might be handling it, as obviously it's becoming more and more likely that I would.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: boobs are normal on October 20, 2020, 12:25:21 PM
MarcoB
Reading what someone wants to share is one thing but I think your probing questions perhaps go a little too far.
Just a personal opinion
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: blad on October 20, 2020, 12:41:36 PM
MarcoB
Reading what someone wants to share is one thing but I think your probing questions perhaps go a little too far.
Just a personal opinion
I would have to agree too.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 20, 2020, 02:49:32 PM
I agree as well that this is a wonderful place for us to share our experience and that personal questions would best be addressed in conversations, rather than on the board.  I've done that with a few men here.  This is touchy simply because we don't want to make it into some voyeuristic exchange, even if what is shared is sometimes both personal and a touch erotic.  We each have our own relationship with this unfolding journey... breasts/no breasts, brassieres/no brassieres.  Everyone wants to feel safe exploring those matters in an online forum.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: MarcoB on October 20, 2020, 10:54:57 PM
MarcoB
Reading what someone wants to share is one thing but I think your probing questions perhaps go a little too far.
Just a personal opinion
Understood, and I should have specifically said, "If you aren't comfortable telling us, that's understandable."  ABWG has been pretty open though, and I'm just trying to prepare for any possible time in the future when I meet a teenager with a big problem with gyne, as I would want to make them as comfortable as I can and not be just one more insensitive or even well-intensioned but hurtful person.  What would a teenager in that position want?  (There are a few others here who could answer that too.)  I certainly had not even heard of the problem 40-47 years ago when I was a teenager; in fact, my education about it started 3½ years ago when my own problem started.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 20, 2020, 11:42:35 PM
My guess is that a teenager wouldn't want attention drawn to ANYTHING about him and certainly not the condition of his chest... unless, of course, the teen was your son and you wanted to include this in "the talk."  Honestly, this line of inquiry makes no sense to me.  If you meet a boy with diminutive boobs keep your eyes off his chest.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: boobs are normal on October 21, 2020, 01:24:31 AM
MarcoB
Your justification just escalates your questions to a rather more creepy level.
You would not (I hope) try and start  such a conversation with a teenage girl. Don't even think about it with young boys
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: blad on October 21, 2020, 01:45:01 AM
I hope we can get back to the original topic of this thread. 
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: boobs are normal on October 21, 2020, 04:30:41 AM
Here here Blad

I fear the  thread might die,
It would be a shame as it had great potential for genuine newbies.

If necessary resurrect it under a new title perhaps?
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: Dale Warnio on October 21, 2020, 07:32:16 AM
I developed breasts at the same time the girls in my class were developing breasts.  My body was a bit soft, some  not unkindly referred to it as baby fat.  Others, though, not kindly, said I needed to wear a bra.
 I finally gave in and tried on one of my mother’s 
 
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 21, 2020, 01:10:40 PM
I wonder at the reference to a soft body.  That describes my body as well.  Perhaps I've mused on another thread about this already, but it seems the hormonal mix that contributed to our developing and keeping breasts was working on the rest of our bodies as well.  I'm really coming to appreciate the profound impact shifts in hormones can have on bodies.  Reading about it helps, then witnessing what happens to men who have chosen to transition and who do things to block testosterone and supplement with estrogen and progesterone is remarkable.  Granted, those men who are intent on passing will do other things to change how their body looks, but even without going to such extremes, simply making hormonal changes softens bodies and gets breasts started.

We didn't choose what was given us.  I don't pretend to understand that, but perhaps we were simply doomed to live in an era when physical perfection is thrown in our face every time we look at a television or computer screen.  Doubtless men have been born with a wide variety of body shapes forever and nobody has criticized them for looking as they do.  Life simply goes on... but today it is suggested this IS a problem and it can be solved by lopping off those unsightly breasts.  I don't know whether a brassiere is essential but I understand it can be comfortable... and so we talk about such things.  No knife will come near my chest, no matter how large my breasts become.

No one suggested I try a brassiere but clever, horny person I am I found a way... 8)
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: aboywithgirls on October 21, 2020, 01:51:05 PM
I think I can summon up real easily here. I went through a female puberty. My body reacted like anybody's body that would that was exposed to oestrogen. It was the logical move for me to begin to wear a bra. I have breasts like a woman, so I wear a bra like a woman. I don't apologise for it
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: MarcoB on October 21, 2020, 06:07:54 PM
MarcoB
Your justification just escalates your questions to a rather more creepy level.
You would not (I hope) try and start  such a conversation with a teenage girl. Don't even think about it with young boys
I didn't say anything about starting any conversation, and I would definitely not say anything to any teenage girl about her chest, and I did not like it when I was in high school and a few of the boys would talk about various girls' sizes even when there were no girls around.  It's just not appropriate.  I've never talked to any female about her chest except my wife of 36 years.  I just want my response to seeing a boy with severe gyne to be accommodating, encouraging, helpful.  Perhaps that means totally ignoring it except to jump to his defense if someone makes fun of it; but I don't know.  I haven't been there, since my problem started a couple years short of my 60th birthday.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: blad on October 21, 2020, 07:04:01 PM
I think I can summon up real easily here. I went through a female puberty. My body reacted like anybody's body that would that was exposed to oestrogen. It was the logical move for me to begin to wear a bra. I have breasts like a woman, so I wear a bra like a woman. I don't apologise for it
I believe this sums up the situation for most of us who developed breasts during our puberty. We were exposed to an imbalance of female hormones and our bodies reacted accordingly. The degree of which would have varied as per how much of imbalance that we had. 

This imbalance led to breast growth and potentially other body or emotional changes. If the imbalance was later restored over time, the breast growth would be there to stay. 

A number of us during this transformative period came to the conclusion that it was logical to try a bra and ultimately accept that we were better off to wear one full time as a girl would in the same situation of growth and development.  I am sure comments or suggestions by others helped to propel these choices. How much home support or feeling safe would also be a factor.
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 21, 2020, 07:28:37 PM
Marco... clearly you're going somewhere none of us wants to go.  I'd encourage you to let the matter drop.  You're explaining your position isn't helping the situation.  The example of talking with girls about their breasts was used to help you understand the same is true for boys.  Neither one of them need or want a dirty old man talking to them about their breasts...  I say that as a person with grey in my beard who has to be very careful about the direction in which I point my camera.  Let it go Marco...
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: boobs are normal on October 22, 2020, 04:03:28 AM
Marco I sort of get your point. In the interest of harmony I accept your explanation. I too am of the grey hair/no hair age. Any conversation i had with a youngster about anything would likely get a two word answer - second word off.
Change of tack. Yet another potentially useful thread quickly got subverted be almost a  blog about ongoing experiences.
It was meant to be about how we came to consider wearing "the garment" and actually doing it. Nothing more nothing less
Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: MarcoB on October 22, 2020, 05:13:21 AM
I don't know how everyone could be misunderstanding me so much.  ABWG volunteered some information as one who had gyne from his early teens, which was decades ago, so I was asking him how he would have wanted people to act regarding that, way back then, in case I ever meet someone like that myself.  How could you misinterpret that to mean I would start up a conversation with the teenager about it??  I already said I absolutely would not do that.  I can imagine various things the young gyne sufferer might wish for, but I haven't been there myself as a teenager to know.  It's different getting there when you're nearly 60.  For example I can imagine that I might have liked my friends to keep quiet about it but defend me if someone started bullying me.  I know an old blind woman and have a couple of times helped her find her way around, and then later saw a video of all the things people do while thinking they're helping the blind person but aren't a good way to do it, and I thought, "Uh-oh, I've already done some of those with Helen."  Same idea.  Please stop putting words in my mouth.

Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: boobs are normal on October 22, 2020, 06:10:40 AM
MarcoB
It was meant to be an apology!

I think the phrase about wanting to come over as more understanding is what got you in deep water. It strongly implies the use of speech. Logic also says if you were not contemplating conversation you have no use for the answers ABWG gave and therefore needn't have asked intrusive questions at all. ABWG was not too bothered others might have been offended. You say you have been in contact with ABWG - Why then ask such questions in public?
Talking about encounters becoming more likely in future didn't help either

I am sorry. This is apology
I didn't put any words into your mouth.

Don't bother answering I am done with this thread which is now way way off original topic.

Title: Re: What prompted you to try your first bra?
Post by: Johndoe1 on October 22, 2020, 07:08:47 AM
As someone who had noticeable pubescent gynecomastia, who suffered through the "ritual" of breast growth in my teens, and no where to turn for help or understanding, who was groped by boys and teased and touched by girls, who, together, helped shatter all body image and self image of myself for decades, bras were an off again, on again kind of thing. In my late teens and early twenties, it was not unheard of that I would pilfer a bra here or there from a female friend or sister or mother of a male friend to try. In retrospect, to have had even a training bra that fit would have been of some benefit even though I suspect in my teen years I topped out around a B cup. Had I been born a girl, at that stage, my parents would have had me strapped in a bra so fast, it would have made my head spin. As was pointed out on numerous occasions at the time by others, I was as large if not larger than some girls my age. In general the bras I took were either too large or too small and never really fit but gave me the idea of what being supported could be and feel like. It didn't feel girly or sissy or feminine. It felt natural. It felt right. It felt good. They also hid my nipples, which seem to be a dead give away for me. It was years later before I gained enough courage to get my first properly fitted bra. 

It would have been nice to have had some understanding adults, but it was a time when things like that didn't happen. In those days, girls had boobs, guys didn't. Period. Full stop. Life wouldn't have been easy in a bra in those days, but I think it would have given me a better outlook on myself and my body. Due to my bosom, I stopped participating in sports, because not only of the teasing, but of the physical discomfort on my chest. Had I known better, even a regular soft cup bra would have been better than having them swing and sway freely. But again, there was no one, peers or adults I felt I could turn to. So, like many here, I suffered in silence, questioning what was I?

So now I wear a bra for comfort, and to some extent, appearance due to ptosis (saggy boobs). I have tried to take a more positive attitude towards my body and now dress according to what it demands. I still present male, I dress for comfort, not fetish or sexual. And with sizeable breasts (I am wearing 36DDD/F 38DD), men's shirts don't always work. Not only in fit, but comfort as well. Yes, dressing is more tricky and takes a little longer these days, but I am a happier person, because I have learned to love me and not hate my bosom. I actively deal with what I have, not wish to what I don't have. It's taken a lifetime to get to this point in life.
SMFPacks CMS 1.0.3 © 2020