Gynecomastia Support Forum

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Exposure => Topic started by: SideSet on March 09, 2019, 02:42:01 PM

Title: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: SideSet on March 09, 2019, 02:42:01 PM
How many of you were told by a wife, mother, GF, or female friend or relative that you should start wearing a bra because you had breasts in need of support, modesty, etc.?

How did that conversation go, how did you feel, and what was the result?

I am not talking about the teasing, ridicule, and comments I am sure most of us have heard plenty of.  I am talking about a constructive suggestion.

Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: walt on March 09, 2019, 11:10:23 PM
Hi Sideset, my old endo Dr suggested I wear a bra and the wife did not care too much for that idea, but she has accepted it as I have doubled in size since then. My wife still has an issue with regular back clasp bras but has no problem with sports bras although I do wear a regular bra when she is not around or I am out by myself for the day.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 10, 2019, 08:25:51 AM
I was told by my grandmother that I needed a bra. The next day, my mother sat me down and took the time to explain to me why I need a bra. I
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: felix on March 11, 2019, 12:38:22 AM
She didn't exactly suggest that I should wear a bra but one day my wife commented that I was starting to look like a B cup.  Soon afterwards I started coming back from mountain bike rides with my boobs hurting.  I worked up the courage to ask her to buy me a sports bra, which she did.  I soon realized that I was just plain more comfortable with a bra than without.  Now I seldom leave the house without one and I am completely used to it.  I usually wear pullover type bras and don't think most people can tell but I have noticed in photos of myself that they do show a bit and noticed today that one of my Hawaiian shirts I haven't worn in a while is snug in the chest.  My wife is OK with it but talking about it seems to make her uncomfortable for some reason.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: hammer on March 11, 2019, 07:50:00 AM
My wife said one time that it looked like I would fill a bra better then she did! So she bought me one and i did! That was years before the kids and the bad vasectomy and before I got so big!
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 11, 2019, 10:23:08 AM
It was my mother years ago, when I started wearing a bra full time who was taken back. My first bras that were fitted for me were a 34C. I was 16. I'll never forget when she told me that we were the same cup size. She explained to me 30 years ago how sister sizing works. She was a 36B and me being a 34C made us the same cup size. She also told me that she hoped that I didn't take after my father's side like my sister.  Well, I  did. I was very uncomfortable having such a frank conversation with my mother about my breasts and bras. Looking back though, it was for the best. It helped me get to acceptance. 

Im 45 now, and I'm more than ok with wearing a bra. Its just another article of clothing that people who have breasts should be wearing. Men and women both have breasts and those who need a bra and want to wear a bra should be wearing a bra. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on March 11, 2019, 12:36:47 PM
When first married my wife and I set down and talked about my breasts. She didn't think I was big enough and she didn't care if I had a chest or not. She was not in favor of both of us wearing a bra. Then years later, due to ptosis, and exercising, I developed a rash under my breasts. After that got cleaned up, in conversation with my doctor, the conversation started about wearing a bra and she agreed that support was probably a good idea. The wife wasn't happy to hear that but when she saw me she knew it was worth a try. She tolerants but wishes I didn't have to wear a bra. She looks me over every day before I leave the house to be sure nothing is out of place. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on March 11, 2019, 02:50:46 PM
II'm a lucky guy. My wife is fine with my boobs and bra. She understands that I need a bra. When we first met, I wore a binder 9n the first few dates. I had told her that I usually wore a bra.i that I was a 38C back then. She was a little taken back but wanted me to be me and encouraged me to be comfortable. Things were under control until I turned 40 and then had a thyroidectomy and the girls grew and grew. I was outgrowing my bras every 6 months. 

In the last year or so things have stabilized and I lost about 40 pounds. We can share most of our bras. She's more of a 36F/G and I'm a 36G/H. She knows that I really have to wear bra and there's never any grief from her.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: [email protected] on March 12, 2019, 12:37:57 AM
Actually it was my wife that said I needed a bra.  I came in to the house and fell into my chairs sweaty as hell and dead from moving the entire yard in 80+ temperatures.  the entire area under my breast were sweating like hell.  The wife took one look at me and said I had bigger breast than our daughter and that I needed a bra.  So the next day we went to Wal-Mart looking for bras and she got me a sports bra which I hated and the next day I went back and exchanged it for the pull over light weight bra that she had also pointed out the previous day.  At first she was not really happy that I was wearing a bra but when three doctors and a mammogram said I had Gynecomastia she started to except it more and is now indifferent to it.  She will even claim one of my bras as hers' till she looks look's at the size and we have a few bras that are identical since we bought them together. At the time I was a 36B and she is a 36D.  I have now moved up to a 38B. Her only complaint is that I have too many bras but she has double what I have.  Still I am happy.  I wear what I want and she never complains.  She only wants to make sure my straps are not showing in public and I am fine with that because I don't want them to show either.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: hammer on March 12, 2019, 07:14:22 AM
As I've said many times, my mife and daughter's not only are supportive of me wearing the bra, but had been after me for a long time to go for a fitting before my primary care physician suggested that I get one. They also would tell me to put one on when I wasn't wearing one as it would help me look better, but also knew that I didn't like to have one on all the time. They will also suggest different types of bras that I might like to try once in awhile too, but I just stick to the ones I got right now until I get to my final goal on my weight loss. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on August 13, 2019, 12:45:01 PM
Early in our marriage, my wife suggested I needed a bra. But I already new that.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 13, 2019, 02:44:03 PM
For me, it was my mother who sat me down with stack of my older sister's bras. She gave me "the talk" about bras and why I should start wearing them. I didn't wear them all the time right away. I liked the support and a few years later, I started wearing my bras full time.and have been for 30 years now.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 13, 2019, 04:08:22 PM
Maybe I am getting the wrong vibe, but the way you have described your mother's reactions to your breasts makes me wonder if she wanted you to be a girl in the first place? Seems she treated your development similar to how she would a girl. Am I all wrong here?
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: SideSet on August 13, 2019, 05:22:07 PM
 That was very supportive, accepting, and helpful of your wife, Blad
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on August 14, 2019, 08:34:16 AM
Maybe I am getting the wrong vibe, but the way you have described your mother's reactions to your breasts makes me wonder if she wanted you to be a girl in the first place? Seems she treated your development similar to how she would a girl. Am I all wrong here?
John, that's not quite how it was. It was my grandmother who made the original comment about my boobs and that I needed to start wearing a bra. I was always scratching my chest because they itched and were soar. Dont get me wrong,  I'm sure she had the same conversation with my sister  a couple years prior that she had with me. 

We had already been to a few different doctors who all said the same thing about my development.  That was the best thing to do is wait and see. I was too young for surgery and that they may just.go away on their own. 

They obviously didn't and kept developing.  A couple years later,  she said that I should start wearing a bra fulltime. I complained back that my bras didn't fit any more. That's when she took me bra shopping and I was fitted. 

I still believe that she was only trying her best. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 14, 2019, 09:28:04 AM
Ah, I see. That makes much more sense. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: SideSet on September 12, 2019, 10:33:01 PM
 How wonderful she recognized that your C cup size breasts belong in a bra  and that she wanted you to wear a bra.  Did she say it was for support or appearance or both? What kind of bra(s) She get you? Did she measure you? 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: SideSet on September 13, 2019, 07:03:00 AM
That was really good of her.  I would guess that after 10 years, it has become second nature for both you and her that you wear a bra just like her and other women. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: aboywithgirls on September 13, 2019, 01:27:09 PM
I know that for me, after 30 years, it has become second nature. It definitely feels weird without a bra.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on October 16, 2020, 01:54:36 PM
Early in our marriage, my wife told me I needed a bra more than she did. But I already knew that.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Dale Warnio on October 17, 2020, 05:48:51 AM
 That was very helpful of your wife. How exactly did she say it? 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on October 17, 2020, 12:26:43 PM
That was very helpful of your wife. How exactly did she say it?
Initially it was a bit sarcastic. A bit surprising in that my breasts were fully developed when we married. I think at first she was under the impression that I just needed to loose weight, even though I was only about 180lbs at close to six feet tall.

But it did lead to further discussions and I did clarify that it was true gyno, as per my medical tests as a teen. It was not going away with exercise. She was sorry for being blunt. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Dale Warnio on October 17, 2020, 08:30:06 PM
What did she say/do then?
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on October 18, 2020, 02:21:48 PM
What did she say/do then?
This was an opportunity for me to wear my bras more openly around her. This spurred further conversations and ultimately lead to an understanding that if I felt more comfortable wearing a bra then it was ok to do so. I think she wanted to be sure that this was a functional thing and not some bigger issue. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Dale Warnio on October 18, 2020, 04:21:27 PM
Your wife sounds pretty special. And you handled it well, also
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Dudewithboobs on October 19, 2020, 11:18:12 AM
I think that’s my main concern is having my wife understand it’s for function not fetish or some seeded opportunity to ease in to more feminine attires. I can only imagine how one may need to process and come to grips with a husband or man who has suddenly developed breasts and now asking for a bra and going what’s next panties, dresses, etc. I wish I had breasts while we were dating it would have been much easier to approach I think given there was nothing at risk if she said I can’t do this. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on October 19, 2020, 11:52:52 AM
I think that’s my main concern is having my wife understand it’s for function not fetish or some seeded opportunity to ease in to more feminine attires. I can only imagine how one may need to process and come to grips with a husband or man who has suddenly developed breasts and now asking for a bra and going what’s next panties, dresses, etc. I wish I had breasts while we were dating it would have been much easier to approach I think given there was nothing at risk if she said I can’t do this.
I think this is a big consideration for most wives when first confronting the topic. They skip the logic part at first and their mind investigates all kinds of alternate possibilities. It takes some discussion to focus the topic back to logical need and function.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 19, 2020, 01:53:03 PM
Just imagine how disconcerting it is for wives who learn their husbands are in fact crossdressers.  The angst those men experience in raising the subject with their wives is close to what is discussed here, but obviously our NEED for brassieres is very different from their NEED to express themselves using women's garments.  But this is a delicate topic to discuss with anyone in our lives.  Understanding the feelings of those who share our lives is critical.  And there is no guarantee we'll be met with kindness.  Sometimes caring for our needs becomes a minefield.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Dudewithboobs on October 19, 2020, 06:53:05 PM
Which is exactly why I don’t care to bring my wife here. It only takes one finding to make one believe there’s other agendas. Unfortunately while I don’t care what one wears does etc. I would say the topics here recently have become too delicate for me to care to show my wife here. If she stumbled upon it great. But the consistent talk of wearing women’s clothing and not caring about sexual assignment to clothing. Has become too borderline for me to try to bring her to the forum. Unfortunately if I was a woman viewing this forum currently I would assume it is a place of men justifying the wearing of women’s clothing and arguing why it shouldn’t matter while simultaneously claiming it isn’t cross dressing.
I would if I was a woman ignore the fact men suffer from this and have imbalances and so forth that may cause male clothing to feel awkward and a bra making more sense for comfort and blouses more reasonable than button ups cause of the room a blouse offers in the chest and so forth. And just see a bunch of dudes talking about bras panties blouses and jeans.

Not intending to insult. Just saying with a wife my biggest concern is how to address my chest and interest in wearing bras openly. My bigger concern would be inviting her to this forum in its current topics given current is what will be seen no archived. And while I’m perfectly understanding and agree with much of the talk here. As a woman I would be concerned as to why my husband brought me here to make his case.

I honestly wish we had more shared pictures of things. I feel seeing is believing and while a flooding of images isn’t by any means needed. You go to user photos and it’s mainly just dudes with pecs asking if it’s gyne or chubby dudes who have it cause of weight issues. You go on Reddit gynecomastia same thing. There’s no medium it seems. Dudes here who are 34 36 38 banded it would be nice to see cause I’m 34 years old fairly fit and have b cups I don’t see anyone like me ever I feel pretty alone. And feel if I was gonna show my wife a forum I’d rather show her like see these guys are great guys I’ve talked to them with them seen their topics and they get it they deal like I am dealing and have helped me a lot and then when reading if asked do they really need a bra though. I can be like glad you asked. Scroll to users photo lol. 

Hell I wouldn’t mind if joining you had to have a picture of what you’re dealing with accepting and living with to show you aren’t just lurking but actually can contribute based on experience. But idk. I’m just talking lol 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on October 19, 2020, 07:12:23 PM
I don't think this forum was ever really meant to share with the wife. It is where guys feel more safe to discuss a common issue among themselves and open up when normally we are closed off. 

As they say, you can't please everyone.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 19, 2020, 07:23:51 PM
You've mentioned before bringing your wife to the thread and being concerned about what she would encounter.  I don't understand why you would WANT to invite her to this website.  If you want to simply educate her to what gynecomastia is you can show her the Mayo Clinic (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gynecomastia/symptoms-causes/syc-20351793) pages describing the condition and the Breast Life article titled Why Guys Wear Bras Instead of Going Under the Knife (https://www.thebreastlife.com/blog/guys-wear-bras-instead-going-knife/)

(https://www.thebreastlife.com/blog/guys-wear-bras-instead-going-knife/)This is a website where you have the opportunity to explore your feelings and needs.  Absolutely, men here are each finding their own relationship to the simple fact of having breasts but this is not one size fits all.  You know what you want so it hardly matters that some men wear panties because they are more comfortable, or women's jeans because the same hormones that gave them breasts affected other parts of their bodies.  Since that isn't relevant to you, share with her what will help make your case.  I take it you don't want to go under the knife.  If you did and money is a problem, you could say that to your wife and the two of you can find a way to save or borrow the money.  If you don't want surgery but do want the support of a bra... the resources above will get you there and you don't need to introduce her to this site.  I certainly am not sharing this with anyone else, even though I've told a few people about my breasts.

Yes, this is a dicey topic for a number of reasons.  I think it best that all of our complex and evocative conversations be kept among us.
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: blad on October 19, 2020, 07:44:37 PM
Hell I wouldn’t mind if joining you had to have a picture of what you’re dealing with accepting and living with to show you aren’t just lurking but actually can contribute based on experience. But idk. I’m just talking lol
Just to have fun with this;

We could have the "Gyno Adjudication Council", or "GAC". Prospective new members here would submit 3 different views of their chest with and without their favorite bra on to the GAC that would the rule if your gyno was significant enough to join. 

I can see some of the replies now; 1) Are you kidding, that's only an AA cup at best. Come back after you grow some more. 2) Nice rack, you're in. 3) Breasts forms! Nice try weirdo. 

:D
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: 42CSuprise! on October 19, 2020, 09:28:44 PM
Got a smile out of me with that one Blad... :P(https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/72x72/1f459.png)
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: taxmapper on October 20, 2020, 09:50:13 AM
My niece.   Then the other half. 

Even an old friend told me to wear one. 

So... I have nice collection of sports bras now. 
Title: Re: Told you should wear a bra
Post by: Dale Warnio on October 21, 2020, 07:35:34 AM
Aren’t you glad they suggested and you followed their advice? What do they say now ?
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