Author Topic: telling my dad  (Read 5031 times)

Offline avi92

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a few week ago i decided to tell my mom about my condition (10 years  of gynecomatia, im 18 now) and at first it was hard for fer to accept, she thought it was all in my head and that its psycological. anyway.
i went with her to a plastic surgent and shes sort of accepting it now. the problem is that i begged her not to tell my dad, i thought he wouldnt understand or let me do the surgery- but now thats the only thing holding me back from doing the surgery.

i just want this to go away and get out of my life, why dont parents want their chlidren to be happy?!
how can i tell him in a way that he would understand? fathers and men are not as sympatetic as women... he'll never understand.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=20877.0

Offline kuk4ever

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Ima kinda in the same boat I told my parent they just don't have the money for the surgery kinda sucks :( Of course they want me to be happy I'm trying everything in my power to get this surgery done like getting a job, house work you name it. My advice to you is to beg and say you will do anything to get the surgery get a temp job just beg and also crying helps lol good luck.

Offline Paa_Paw

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Since I have a large family. 8 children, 25 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren; I have some experience as a parent.

Parents sometimes have a problem seeing their children as anything less than perfect. My daughters were all beautiful for example.

It is possible that your parents do not see a problem. Yes, it really is that simple. Another possibility is that they worry greatly about the risks of surgery. You must remember that the risks of surgery were greater when they were your age and that old information could still be influencing their thoughts.

Sometimes grandparents are a potential help for several good reasons. The Grandparents can be close enough to be caring and loving but at the same time they can be far enough away from the day in day out parenting cares to be more objective.

If you are having trouble dealing with a parent, sometimes a grandparent can intercede in your behalf.
Grandpa Dan

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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  • 31 Year Gynecomastia Victim...
Since I have a large family. 8 children, 25 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren; I have some experience as a parent.

Sometimes grandparents are a potential help for several good reasons. The Grandparents can be close enough to be caring and loving but at the same time they can be far enough away from the day in day out parenting cares to be more objective.

If you are having trouble dealing with a parent, sometimes a grandparent can intercede in your behalf.

With an attitude like that, your grandchildren are very lucky to have you as a grandpa Dan...  ;)
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
Pre-Op/Post-Op Pics

Offline kwl04

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I was nervous about telling my parents because I never talked about it and I'm 34.  I think everyone would get nervous.

Not knowing your relationship with your dad does put a crutch on what I would do.  So I'll answer both both ways.

A) If you and your dad have a good relationship and he's good to you, I think he wants you to be happy. I'd just tell him the truth about you it makes you feel inside and how much it bothers you.

B)If you and your dad have a rocky relationship and he's not the best dad, I'd probably still tell him with the frame of mind that your decision on surgery has been made, you're simply informing him of it.

If they're paying for it, then they of course have a say so.  If you're paying for it, then they're simply being informed.  Either way, have them spend time on here and youtube researching. There are many great doctors here and other patients that have gone through this. I think it might ease their fears and answer a lot of questions.

Bottom line: it's your body in the end and you don't belong to anyone.  You're going to need help after surgery so please be as diplomatic as possible. 

Best of luck!

Offline JamesDawson

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I also had the same problem, it was hard enough to tell my mum but I dreaded telling my dad but it had to tell him.

So I spent the whole day with him talking and hanging out, having a father and son day basically. I spent the whole day working up the courage and eventually just told him outright. It was a lot easier than I expected but he didn't seem to understand what gyno was even after explaining it twice,haha so he just said "If it bothers that much you then go through with the surgery". From then on it was a lot easier to tell people.


 

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