Author Topic: Son with gynecomastia  (Read 3458 times)

Offline aboywithgirls

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" Nicer" is a pretty broad term. I think that it will make him much more empathetic to some issues that women have to deal with.  He will have to put up with the bra of course. He will more than likely never get to swim topless. He will have a host of other breast related issues to deal with as well. 

Its definitely not all bad. There are perks to having them as well, as you know. I could have had surgery but, as I've said before,  they are nothing that a good bra can't cure. Ive grown to appreciate and even live having them. 
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.

Dudewithboobs

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I don’t think it makes one nicer or meaner but I do believe it makes one more aware of the cruel way others treat others based on the fear or insecurity it may present in how one will be treated and possibility of insult and such. I think having it in mind how one may feel toward a “flaw” of their own that is becoming so in view and unable to be hidden. Makes one think twice before being mean themselves and therefore empathizes much more than others may. 

Offline paulpark21

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I am a bit overwhelmed by all your positive support and advice.  Thank you so much.

I only know this thing from my perspective of loving a male with female breasts not knowing how it feels for a male to have female breasts.

 I will reply specifically to each of the wonderful responses.

 Silly question. Do you think having female breasts makes a male nicer?  You all are so sweet. And my son is so sweet that I sometimes worry for him.  Makes him more vulnerable, you know?
 
Nicer -  sweeter?  Maybe but I think it's more of  a empathy thing.  We've been through this with all the angst that you and your son are now going through.  For most of us it's  acceptance of what we cannot or do not (operation wise) want to change.  Bra wearing is a big step for a male, especially in this society.  Wishing you and your son all the best.

Offline Gynomom

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Dude and Paul, you make good points.  Whatever the reason, I think all of you are so sweet and nice, thank you. People have shown such empathy and humility and helped me more than you can know. 

I have been trying to understand my son, what he is going through, needs and doesn’t need. I only know it from my point of view as a female who has breasts, not a male who has breasts.

Offline Gynomom

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We are going to Soma tomorrow.  Yay.

My son wants to try wearing a bra.  I measured him tonight.  I came up with 32 B, and it is a full B 

I have a friend who works at Soma.  They don't open until noon.  She said come in at, get this, 9:30 and she will fit him and then he can try on "things," her words, and we will have the store to ourselves for over 2 hours before the have to get ready to open.  She said "We will have so much fun. We want him to wear home a bra, at least."

It seems I will be posting in the Acceptance Section going forward.

Offline SideSet

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So, I guess you had the bra talk. How did it go?  I guess well, but if you care to share details?

Soma is a great boutique. I love their merchandise. And their SAs are incredible. 

Interesting she said “things,” not bras.  Soma has a lot of cute things that are not bras.  Hmmm

Would love to hear all about it. 

You seem happy. Excited even. 

Full B cup and only 12 and still developing.   How would you feel if he ended up like DDD me?  He might. 

Offline gmast

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 Silly question. Do you think having female breasts makes a male nicer?
 
Why would it make a male nicer?  Women aren't nicer because they have breasts.

Offline Gynomom

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Gives them more feminine characteristics.  I believe women are more nurturing, for example.  Allows to empathize better with women. Empathy leads to being nicer. 

Everyone here has been nice to me .  Everyone here with me is a male with breasts.  Not everyone I interact with every day is nice to me, trust me

Online Johndoe1

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The same can be said in reverse. You have been nice to us even though we do have breasts and that's not always the case. I think we are more emphatic to female issues because of our breasts. What causes us to have breasts are the same reason you have breasts. It's hormonal in both cases and is the same hormone. So it's logical we would at least have a similar basic response.

Offline gyneco_jason

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Gives them more feminine characteristics.  I believe women are more nurturing, for example.  Allows to empathize better with women. Empathy leads to being nicer.

Everyone here has been nice to me .  Everyone here with me is a male with breasts.  Not everyone I interact with every day is nice to me, trust me
I think ABWG put it best, gynecomastia doesn't make a guy nicer per se, but makes him more empathetic. There is a lot of pressure on women to look good, so they fret a lot about their bodies, and that's something that guys who have gynecomastia tend to do too. And like a lot of women who are unhappy with their bodies at first, you can gradually come to accept your physique and even be proud of it.
As long as your son's body doesn't cause him any debilitating health problems, he should be happy with it. And he shouldn't necessarily feel any less masculine for wearing a bra.
It sounds like the two of you have been through a lot together and you're handling it gracefully, so good for you!

Offline Gynomom

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What a nice answer, Jason. Thank you. 

Yes, we have been through a lot.  He is the most important thing in my life. 

I try hard.  Really hard.  And now I am awake middle of the night thinking about what to do and how to do it, based on what I learned today taking him for his first bra(s). 


Offline JohannK

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You must have your work cut out for you, that's for sure.  Children need both parental roles, and it can't be easy for a single parent to provide both.  I don't know how you can make your son strong enough for life out there while also providing the role that's expected of a mother, but hopefully you will manage.

As for your comment about how we are, I do have another thing to add.  As you know, breast growth is caused by estrogen.  So it stands to reason that we'll also be likely to have other side effects, and as you surely know estrogen does affect your way of thought (and emotions).  So if I have to cast my vote, then I'd say that's likely the biggest factor (not discounting what others have said).

Offline Gynomom

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Yes, Johann, I can see what you mean about the effects of estrogen, so you make a very good point.   My son seems to think, react, have attitudes,  behaviors and actions more similar to mine then two males‘.   I compare him to my brother growing up, for example.  I even think growing up I was more of a tomboy.  

 Thank you for your empathy about my role and responsibilities. Could estrogen be helping you be so empathetic?;)

Offline aboywithgirls

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I think that can absolutely be the case. I think that your son is something very special. He probably understands more than you think. With his breast and other body developments, he understands how he has to dress his body not only to wear what fits proper but also what feels proper. He is in the midst of really learning what 8s right for him.

I know that it's a lot of worry to think " Am I doing the right thing?" Your child will guide you as much as you guide your child. If one day he decides to go braless, just advise him what happens and let him make his decision. 

You've got this! Just enjoy your child. You have each other to get through the path which they choose. 

Offline JohannK

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Yes, Johann, I can see what you mean about the effects of estrogen, so you make a very good point.  My son seems to think, react, have attitudes,  behaviors and actions more similar to mine then two males‘.  I compare him to my brother growing up, for example.  I even think growing up I was more of a tomboy. 

 Thank you for your empathy about my role and responsibilities. Could estrogen be helping you be so empathetic?;)
I can imagine that it might have an impact.  Bot that I've had any tests done, I'm very hesitant to go for any supplements which might just mess things up further.  That said, I've always had a personality that leans a bit to the feminine side, despite having some rather obvious signs of testosterone-dominance (always been very hairy, and I actually had very noticeable balding at 16).  But on the other hand I have always looked about 5 years younger (apart from the chrome dome of course, which makes me look about 10 years older), which might suggest the opposite.


 

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