Author Topic: parents turned me down...lost..shit this indian conservatism..(pics)  (Read 6758 times)

Offline mildgyno

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m 17 now and have been working out on my gyno for 4 years...it just didn't budge...
thats it, i decided its time for surgery...i formed a plan to tell my parents..
i started showing my depression and my problem to them by being forlorn and acting depressed and sad all the time (not much of acting, its what i actually felt)
my mom asked me what was wrong as planned, and i gathered some courage and let my heart out...that went well, she understood!!
the problem came when she told my dad 4 days later n he got concerned(at first)...
now, the conselling..
he told me to remove my shirt n let him see, i did, and his analysis was...u have the body of a filmstar, if u tell anyone u have this problem they would probably laugh at you coz ur body is perfect...that was him trying to make me think good about my body...
when i got him to admit that yes i do have some problem he said that its so less, nothing to worry about...tried consoling me n telling me that he is my freind n i did right to discuss this but there is nothing wrong and that he is my dad would never give me a wrong advice and that he can do anything for the sake of my happiness...

bottom line, both my parents dismissed it on the grounds that its just in my mind, and i need to get it out...when i told them nearly 60% men have it...i shouldn't have told them...coz they said its all the more reason i should not get a surgery...59.9% accept it n so should i, coz its nothing...
the indian conservatism makes my parents beleive that indian docs are gonna ruin us...filling their pockets n emptying ours....they would leave my chest scarred, damaged n artificial for life...n he wouldn't listen to the facts or read it over the net(angry old man...but he does care)

so what shall i do...it is mild but not that i can live with....n its gonna b ten years before i can afford a surgery myself....how do i convince my parents??
anyone's help would be gratefully appreciated..

ps.. money is not a problem and m continuing with the depressed mood for now, maybe seeing that he'll take me to a doc

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=27655.0

Offline mildgyno

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also...they told me that its everyday life...
they quoted examples from family freinds and even passer bys whose were huge...n told me that mine is nothing compared to them...i should be gratefull n should never bring this problem or topic again in  my mind...
again...money is not a problem...we are more than well to do...in fact its surplus....its just his mentality...how do i deal with it

Offline mildgyno

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hey all....
i see that the post have been read numerous times and i appreciate people taking time and reading this (its a little long, i admit)
but m really on the mantle here...i need help folks!!
there's got to be chaps out there who got turned down by their parents...
if u too have been unable to convince yours then u can share your experience, it might help me and other people going through the same....
and for those who, by hook or crook, had their parents convinced, it would be really nice if you could share....it would help the lots of me now living in utter despair...
i thank you for reading this..

Offline GynRuinLife

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Hey,
I'm 20 years old and before I decided to tell my mom about my gynecomastia
a few days ago, I knew it wouldn't be easy because my parents are also 'Conservative'.

Your dad sounds very similar to mine, although my dad would have been far more rude
about it. That's why when I told my mom, I made her promise to not tell my dad about
it. We are going to figure something out so I can get surgery without him knowing and
stay somewhere else to recover. In the worst case scenario, maybe that is what you
should do? If your mom also works, ask for an arrangement during break from school
so you can have surgery, stay with a trusted relative and then come back home. Lying
is terrible, but I feel that in our situation, we aren't asking for much. We just want
to live like normal people.


Offline mildgyno

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i agree with you buddy...
i committed a mistake...i sort of knew what dad was gonna say but nevertheless i decided to tell him since my mom is a housewife and we two cannot even think of going through it undercover..
ur plan sounds good...just be cautious that recovery takes 4 -5 months with regular checkups, pain and medications, so when you finally decide to go through it....make a long term plan...
also, find a good excuse of your changed appearance..
good luck!!
i hope your transformation renders you a normal and satisfying life.. :)

Offline Eerfnoos

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You're only 17 and looks like you possibly have a higher than average body fat percentage. I am 24 and just had the surgery, if I were you I would exercise, lose some weight and you might be happy with your looks without having to go through surgery and have scars. Do you have hard tissue under the nipple? And if you do I'd still try sliming down first some people can get away with having the glands if their small enough. Good luck and stay strong.

Offline Paa_Paw

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Your parents are right in one way, We are highly critical of ourselves and we tend to make a big deal over something that no one else would even notice.

You are not that far from being an adult and being able to deal with it in your own way.
Grandpa Dan

Offline mildgyno

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You're only 17 and looks like you possibly have a higher than average body fat percentage. I am 24 and just had the surgery, if I were you I would exercise, lose some weight and you might be happy with your looks without having to go through surgery and have scars. Do you have hard tissue under the nipple? And if you do I'd still try sliming down first some people can get away with having the glands if their small enough. Good luck and stay strong.

i have tried it...the angle n the zoomed in pic makes u think that what i have is higher body fat..
but the fact is that i have reduced my weight by 10 kgs n gained some muscle which makes me 70 kg right now...
about the fat..i became so slim this summer that i could conjure my ab muscles by holding my breath for a few seconds..its certainly not fat, i have lost that all...and yes i do have hard tissue under the nipple and that gives me puffy nipples as seen in the pic...

believe me, i have tried everything that's there to try in exercising, to get rid of those boobs....now m stuck..just need a way to convince my parents..

thanks for your time..i appreciate the long awaited replies :)

Offline khiladi256

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I am also from india. I am facing the same problem. I am also sick of this indian conservatism. I can undestand your problem. Now you have only one way make a good career , earn money and get surgery done on your own. By then you can use liquid bandage to hide your gyno.

Offline troubleddoc

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hey same here dear.though my dad is cool says go see doc n all.i saw .and he told me about keyhole surgry which is much better option than traditional one.but regarding the surgery dad still scared yaa.i am a cricketer into profeesional cricket i m affected.he is scared about side effects and my recovery.i dont know i m embareesed hiding myself.only good thing i have a good overall body but puffy nipples
i get scared n avoid pools n beach.n shortless is a big no no for me .i feel inferior.i want a normal life.m 23 m,ale
Operated by Dr hari Menon on 16 June 2014☺☺☺😀😀😀😀😀😀😀


 

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