Author Topic: how should I talk to my mom?  (Read 14500 times)

Offline cm18

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I went to the doctor earlier today for consultation & said I need surgery, $5000 for liposuction only or $6000 for liposuction & excison.
How should I tell her that I want the surgery done?
She doesn't know I went to the doctor & I haven't really talk to her about it, I'm 19. I used to weight 220lbs but I lost 40+lbs, now I weight about 180 but still have to lose about 20 more lbs

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=16412.0
« Last Edit: December 30, 2008, 05:13:25 AM by cm18 »

Offline Aperture

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You just have you say to yourself 'F it' and just walk in and say in. Thats how i did it.  I didn't want to do it but i just pushed myself and it felt great after coming out with it.  I still don't really like talking about it and still get embarrassed when my parents want to see but at least they know and you'll probably find that they will be incredibly supportive about it.  Tell them what's wrong and how it's affecting you. I told them about the research i'd done and they knew i was serious about getting surgery.

Just for future reference, the forum has many different sections; exposure being one of them:
http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?board=32.0
« Last Edit: December 18, 2008, 08:04:56 PM by Aperture »

Offline Dave_8

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Just tell her. Hopefully she's more like my dad then my mom. My dad backs me up, my mom says for me to lose more weight. She doesn't want anything to do with me getting surgery.
If you have gyne, dont expect not be laughed at.

Just like if you walk into a locker room, you're gonna see some hairy asses and dicks.

Unfortunately for me, both have occured in my life way too many times.

Offline Paa_Paw

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My best bet is that a really good, well qualified surgeon would be of some help in recruiting the help of your parents.

Your case illustrates a very good point that needs to be put before the many younger men out there. You may already have waited too damn long. Unless you are a full time student, You are no longer your parents responsibility for medical care since you are over 18. Whether your mother is aware or not makes no difference since you are financially responsible for yourself.

The questions which come to my mind would include why you have waited so long and why a surgeon was the first Dr. you saw. Have you not seen a Dr. since the age of 12? Why are you bringing this up at such a late date?

For anyone younger, I'd say that your Dr. should be your first ally in dealing with your parents about this sensitive issue.
Grandpa Dan

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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If you are too embarrassed to 'talk' to your mom about your condition, then may I suggest you write a note/letter to her about the issue. It may be a whole lot easier to convey the message this way!  ;)

Getting her to look through this site would be an awesome idea. You could put the the site address in the note. Have her read this thread...

http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=6465.0

Good luck dude!!!

GB
Surgery: February 16, 2005. - Toronto, Ontario Canada.
Surgeon: Dr. John Craig Fielding   M.D.   F.R.C.S. (C) (416.766.8890)
Pre-Op/Post-Op Pics

Offline cm18

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My best bet is that a really good, well qualified surgeon would be of some help in recruiting the help of your parents.

Your case illustrates a very good point that needs to be put before the many younger men out there. You may already have waited too damn long. Unless you are a full time student, You are no longer your parents responsibility for medical care since you are over 18. Whether your mother is aware or not makes no difference since you are financially responsible for yourself.

The questions which come to my mind would include why you have waited so long and why a surgeon was the first Dr. you saw. Have you not seen a Dr. since the age of 12? Why are you bringing this up at such a late date?

For anyone younger, I'd say that your Dr. should be your first ally in dealing with your parents about this sensitive issue.

Sorry for the late reply
Currently I'm not going to school, I might start Fall 09
 I have a job. I have enough money to pay for the surgery on my own


I rarely go to the doctor but I had gyne since I can remember so I research for  a Dr. in las vegas, scheduled an appointment.
I remember going to a Dr. once when I was like 13 & he said it would go away, it was just fat, but it didnt
 I've always been kinda chubby, I'm 5'6.    Last year I weight 220 lbs now I weight around 170. I still have around 20 more lbs to lose mostly in my stomach area
Here are some pics

Offline cm18

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If you are too embarrassed to 'talk' to your mom about your condition, then may I suggest you write a note/letter to her about the issue. It may be a whole lot easier to convey the message this way!  ;)

Getting her to look through this site would be an awesome idea. You could put the the site address in the note. Have her read this thread...

http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=6465.0

Good luck dude!!!

GB

Thank you
I still havent told her. I might try the note thing

Unfortunately she doesnt use the computer, really doesnt know how

Offline Pacifico

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Make sure you go to a good doctor!  One that does 100 plus a year.  Many surgeons think this is easy, it is not and requires great skill.  Don't be another horror story.  Research Reasearch and if too expensive save more!  I hope your Mom is understanding it was hard telling my folks when i was your age--hard as hell, but you must!

Offline impervious

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you'd be surprised about how understanding people are if you actually sit down and explain your feelings.  When you talk to her, put everything out on the table and don't be embarassed to express the mental hardship this has caused you.

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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Easier said than done dude....  ;)

How any guy could sit his mom and/or dad down and tell them that he has boobs is beyond me... very awkward to say the least...

To this day, I haven't told my mom and dad that I've had surgery... Just wouldn't be able to do it.

GB

Offline cm18

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Well, I was going to tell her earlier today but just couldnt do it  >:(

Offline mezwell

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 :-X if your getting tongue tied with your mother then back it off a bit,have your meeting with the gyno man at the clinic, and then present your mum with the papers stating that you are eligable for a minor bit of surgery,its no big deal just a few days of wearing a tight vest,try not to over re`act,your mother will sense it,your not having brain surgery.if you think about it too much youl drive yourself up the wall.

Offline Grandpa Bambu

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The 'note' method would be best...

That way you can take your time, get all your thoughts and feelings down without all the pressure! ;)

GB

soljah808

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just rush it man, thats how i did it. no shame no anything. and my parents are the real awkward type when it comes to issues like sex or health or stuff thats not everyday. my mom and dad were cool about it. they knew it was hurtin me so they took care ofit.

Offline cm18

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Since I dont have the courage to talk to her, I'm going to write her a letter

It's hard for me to open up. I've always kept my feeling to myself. I just bottle them up
« Last Edit: January 03, 2009, 04:52:31 AM by cm18 »


 

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