Author Topic: How do I deal with it  (Read 4376 times)

Offline robirobi

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As I said many times I am not pro surgery unless you have quite big breast. I have a quite mild case and I would never consider surgery, mostly because at the end of day it is an operation and like most operations it is dangerous. Also, on top of that I'd rather use the money to do other stuff. Having said that if I could get rid of it magically I would. As magic isn't possible this is how I deal with it. I am sure lots of this has been said but hey, it might be helpful for someone else.

I normally just wear a vest that is smaller than my actual size. As I have a mild case it works for me and I am sure it will work for many people, especially if you have just puffy nips. I prefer slightly heavier fabrics. I am quite style conscious and since denim is is fashionable again I have been wearing lots of denim shirts. Also oxford shirts as they are a little heavier are much more flattering. Shirts with pockets are also better disguising manboobs.

I am quite lazy but when I do go to the gym regularly I do look better. When people have an obsession with gyne they concentrate just on that. The reality is that if you get bigger arms and shoulders it kind of balances out the whole thing. It is better to have breasts on a more robust frame than on a skinny body. It is a matter of proportions mostly.

Also I wanted to say that most people, unless you have big breasts don't even notice or care. We all worry too much about our bodies in general and others cannot care less.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=27832.0

hammer

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How do I deal with it? It sounds like you have a very good start with dealing with it! Your last line also says it all, most people worry to much about things that others don't even notice.

I have hug double Ds and have never had anyone come up and say anything to me about it and at 55 I wouldn't care if they did. When I was younger things were said, but it did happen very much and I put a stop to it as I didn't alow myself to be a victim, nor did I alow others around me become victims.

We must remember that skin, fat and breast tissue do not make the man who he is, but what is in his heart and mind. So why let them control you.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do.

Offline robirobi

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That's right. I am 42 years old and only twice I had comments and only one was a little offensive. The other was from an ex of mine that was not bothered at all.

Offline joltera

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I think in this day and age the surgery is considered safe. You can't really generalize operations, a triple bypass heart surgery is not really comparable to removing a little breast tissue in terms of safety and likelihood of possible life threatening complications.  

That being said, at your age I would likely have the same outlook, but being twenty years younger I can say having the surgery for my mild case was the best thing I've ever done. The psychological benefits alone are worth the money. You can't put a price on happiness, at the end of the day cash is only there to be spent. People may not make comments, because that would be rude, but even if they don't care they still notice, especially woman.

I would't dismiss surgery unless your gyne doesn't bother you. For some it doesn't, but since you take extra steps to hide it, it must be something you're not fully comfortable with. If you have the money, you owe it to yourself to get the surgery, but that's just my opinion. Hope everything works out for the best.
f*ck gyne

Offline Paa_Paw

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Do they still do bypasses? I've had angioplasties and stents. All the elements came together for safe breast reduction surgery about 25 years ago and it still keeps getting refined and improved.

The problem is that I was 50 years old 25 years ago and a bit of surplus tissue on my chest no longer seemed very important.

I frequently joke that if I had the price of surgery I'd use it for a down payment on a sailboat.
Grandpa Dan

Offline robirobi

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I think in this day and age the surgery is considered safe. You can't really generalize operations, a triple bypass heart surgery is not really comparable to removing a little breast tissue in terms of safety and likelihood of possible life threatening complications.  

That being said, at your age I would likely have the same outlook, but being twenty years younger I can say having the surgery for my mild case was the best thing I've ever done. The psychological benefits alone are worth the money. You can't put a price on happiness, at the end of the day cash is only there to be spent. People may not make comments, because that would be rude, but even if they don't care they still notice, especially woman.

I would't dismiss surgery unless your gyne doesn't bother you. For some it doesn't, but since you take extra steps to hide it, it must be something you're not fully comfortable with. If you have the money, you owe it to yourself to get the surgery, but that's just my opinion. Hope everything works out for the best.

Honestly I find you saying 'at your age' a little offensive. What is that supposed to mean?

Offline craftspace234

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I think in this day and age the surgery is considered safe. You can't really generalize operations, a triple bypass heart surgery is not really comparable to removing a little breast tissue in terms of safety and likelihood of possible life threatening complications.  

That being said, at your age I would likely have the same outlook, but being twenty years younger I can say having the surgery for my mild case was the best thing I've ever done. The psychological benefits alone are worth the money. You can't put a price on happiness, at the end of the day cash is only there to be spent. People may not make comments, because that would be rude, but even if they don't care they still notice, especially woman.

I would't dismiss surgery unless your gyne doesn't bother you. For some it doesn't, but since you take extra steps to hide it, it must be something you're not fully comfortable with. If you have the money, you owe it to yourself to get the surgery, but that's just my opinion. Hope everything works out for the best.

Honestly I find you saying 'at your age' a little offensive. What is that supposed to mean?

Lol you are missing the point.

If you are unhappy with it, get the surgery. You don't have to live the rest of your life like this

Offline Benign

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Honestly I find you saying 'at your age' a little offensive. What is that supposed to mean?

firstly, I feel like nearly all the people against surgery have this contradictory argument that you're showing now. it starts off with 'it's not that important, therefore surgery isn't necessary', then ends with a CONSTANT psychological battle to suppress your emotions and discomforts. dedicating ur wardrobe to hiding it? for the rest of your life? The whole point of surgery is that people move on in their life. they never need to worry about what shirt they can/can't wear. and never need to feel insecure about their chest and having good posture

secondly,  it shouldn't be offensive that he said 'at your age', because at 42 you will be surrounded by a lot less people that are superficial, and more than likely you'll have married/had kids already etc.... in your 20s you're more likely to be looking for a girlfriend, sex drives are higher are physical attraction just more important at 18-24

hammer

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Honestly I find you saying 'at your age' a little offensive. What is that supposed to mean?

firstly, I feel like nearly all the people against surgery have this contradictory argument that you're showing now. it starts off with 'it's not that important, therefore surgery isn't necessary', then ends with a CONSTANT psychological battle to suppress your emotions and discomforts. dedicating ur wardrobe to hiding it? for the rest of your life? The whole point of surgery is that people move on in their life. they never need to worry about what shirt they can/can't wear. and never need to feel insecure about their chest and having good posture

secondly,  it shouldn't be offensive that he said 'at your age', because at 42 you will be surrounded by a lot less people that are superficial, and more than likely you'll have married/had kids already etc.... in your 20s you're more likely to be looking for a girlfriend, sex drives are higher are physical attraction just more important at 18-24

Not only is your sex drive higher, but research has also found that the brain isn't fully developed yet ether until the age of at least 25!

Offline jay adams

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This site really needs some moderators that don't scold people for wanting surgery or telling others about the benefits they've received.

Sorry Hammer but what does a brain developing at the age of 25 have to do with gyne surgery and the benefits young men get? Does it piss you off you can't have surgery? Sorry if that's the case for you. Why get upset about people having gynecomastia surgery or telling others how great life has been afterwards when you're on a gynecomastia website with gynecomastia surgeon's all over it? And this isn't about telling people they can accept but making comments to guys who don't accept as if thats a problem.

Don't think I'm the only one who's picked up this vibe. I've been sent PM's from people who feel the same way by comments certain people make on this site.

What a shame, you tell someone you feel great about having surgery because in your early twenties your social life still matters just to be told your brain may not be developed. If you wonder why a lot of people aren't coming back to this site it's probably because it gets redundant being told to become a nudist and grow boobs gracefully.

Its cool if some men do, but most men don't want boobs and don't come to this site to learn to live with them. Maybe some people should accept the fact most men won't accept man boobs.

hammer

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Jay, I could have surgery and I could pay cash to have it as well! I just see no point of having it! You also should know that with all the surgeries I've had I have no fear of surgery either. I choose not because without testicles and being the size that I am the surgery would be a hard one and I had very unpleasant side effects when I was on  the hormone replacement.

You have also seen that I have wish many young men well that have been going in for surgery or have given advice for after surgery, as I support surgery if that is what they decide to do, but I don't support criticizing those of us that accepted and decide not to have surgery telling us that we are psychologically demoralized, or what ever else.

 The fact is I personally don't need to have the surgery to feel more like a man, because it isn't what is or not on my chest that makes me a man. I'm 56 years old and have seen and done a lot in my life, much that I can't even tell you and having boobs never interfered with that, so I'll be damned if I'll let them start now, so if I can help someone that can't have surgery I hope to do that if posible!

I may get very direct at times and say thing that people don't like and I've said it time and time again my two life models about who I am, and I'll just say, don't read my post if you don't like what I have to say, that's what I do when I'm on the radio, I tell people if they don't want to hear what I have to say they need to turn the radio off or change to channel.

I am who I am, and I'm not going to change just to please someone!

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I'm not!

Offline rhyno18

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I kinda agree with Jay on this one.  I totally get that acceptance is one alternative for dealing with this condition.   For some people it's their only option or what they decide to do.  (And there is a whole sub-forum for it as well.)

But i think a lot of people who find there way to this board are looking for a solution.   Well intentioned or not, beating them down with how your condition is much worse, or as you get older you're more accepting of it or how you've gone through much more serious health conditions seems like it minimizes another person's concerns or desire to have surgery.

The OP talked about having a mild case and it not bothering him.  If it doesn't then by all means don't bother with the surgery.  But if your gynecomastia is impacting your life and you have the means, then get it fixed.

I'm in my early 40s.  if i could've had the surgery at 19, believe me i would have. 


hammer

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I'm glad that those that need to have it can get it, in fact I believe that insurance companies should pay for it as well. If you dig deep into the forum you will find that doctor Jacobs and I tried to get a letter writing campaign going to the Dr. Oz show to do a segment on gynecomastia in hopes to bring more awareness to the problem of gynecomastia. I have no idea how many people wrote, but my hope was if there was more education about it out there to the general world just as ED now is it wouldn't be such a taboo. Then just maybe insurance would cover the surgery, and those that couldn't have the surgery or choose not to wouldn't feel so out different or shamed or what ever they are feeling.

Just think about all the things that were once hidden in the shadows as bad or taboo that are now right in front of you!

Offline rhyno18

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I do agree that awareness needs to increase....though it's a MUCH more open topic that it was 5-10 years ago.  Though not all publicity is the right kind of publicity.

I live in the DFW area and last December they ran a feature story on gynecomastia on one of local morning shows.  (a touch uncomfortable in a room full of family members...though i think i worried about my condition way more than they did.)  The downside is they treated it as a 'makeover' type topic...in the same vein as getting a woman getting a boob job or tummy tuck.  I'd argue the psychological issues are a bit deeper than a woman wishing she had bigger breasts or got rid of a mommy pooch.  But at least they were talking about it.

The other publicity that we've all probably seen is the ambulance chasing class action suit about a medication that had gynecomastia as a side effect.  But at least it's talking about the condition as something common and that has a negative impact.

Ideally it would be something covered by insurance.  But realistically with spiraling healthcare costs, I don't see insurance companies expanding coverage to something where the symptoms are mostly psychological...even though they are real and often have long lasting consequences.

And that's who I truly feel sorry for...the many people who can't afford to spend thousands of dollars on the procedure and live with a feeling of helplessness that they are stuck.

hammer

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I do agree that awareness needs to increase....though it's a MUCH more open topic that it was 5-10 years ago.  Though not all publicity is the right kind of publicity.

I live in the DFW area and last December they ran a feature story on gynecomastia on one of local morning shows.  (a touch uncomfortable in a room full of family members...though i think i worried about my condition way more than they did.)  The downside is they treated it as a 'makeover' type topic...in the same vein as getting a woman getting a boob job or tummy tuck.  I'd argue the psychological issues are a bit deeper than a woman wishing she had bigger breasts or got rid of a mommy pooch.  But at least they were talking about it.

The other publicity that we've all probably seen is the ambulance chasing class action suit about a medication that had gynecomastia as a side effect.  But at least it's talking about the condition as something common and that has a negative impact.

Ideally it would be something covered by insurance.  But realistically with spiraling healthcare costs, I don't see insurance companies expanding coverage to something where the symptoms are mostly psychological...even though they are real and often have long lasting consequences.

And that's who I truly feel sorry for...the many people who can't afford to spend thousands of dollars on the procedure and live with a feeling of helplessness that they are stuck.

I have to agree about the spiraling health care cost, but then you come to your last part stating that you feel sorry for the many people that can't afford to spend the thousands of dollars that the procedure cost! This my friend is exactly what the insurance is for! Now mind you, I'm one of the most Conservative people around, but that being said, if they are going to cover breast reduction for women to reduce back strain, then they can do breast removal on males to reduce emotion strain as well! Or then they should cover the cost that would be assisted with the emotional counseling should the patient so choose to go that route,

I think we could agree that there are many young men that post their pictures need gynecomastia surgery no more then your car needs new tires every two months, but then there are plenty of people with eating disorder that we don't understand either. So this may be the new eating disorder to some young males, and eating disorders are covered by insurance so whether or not a man has a severe case of gynecomastia he shouldn't be denied to chance to be freed of it because he has no money.



 

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