Author Topic: Depression - how to cope  (Read 1858 times)

Offline hatemymoobs

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Since losing weight and my chest becoming a little more pronounced (and it becoming hotter out) I think I'm suffering from depression.
I'm irritable, upset, self conscious, anxious, etc. Those have been around for a while.
More recently, about the last 2-3 weeks I've been getting physical symptoms of depression. Fatigue, headache, muscle aches. And my symptoms are worsening.
I don't want to leave the house much, I generally just want to lay on the couch wrapped in a blanket and watch movies.
My work has been suffering significantly. I'm constantly not in focus, distracted, my brain wanders when people talk to me. And worst of all I'm so damn drained and tired even after a full night of sleep that I have no will to get out of bed. I've been late to work almost every day lately. Not like 5 minutes... like 30-90 minutes late.
When I finally get to work I usually close my door. I don't greet anyone. I just go straight to my room.

Does this sound like depression? What can I do? I don't want to be on more meds (already take xanax for anxiety).
I really feel like this is completely because of my gynecomastia and general poor shape of my torso, despite being thin everywhere else. I've been obsessing over it, and I can't stop. It's consuming me. I ordered some underworks compression tanks, which help the shape and my confidence slightly, but I almost feel more depressed and ashamed internally having to wear it.

Another member posted about suicide- and to be clear I'm not at that point. I have a lot to live for, but I'm so bummed and worn out from this condition. I want to live a normal life but I'm scared of seeing a doctor and don't know if it's the right thing to do (surgery).  I don't want people thinking I'm superficial by getting surgery. I'm not enhancing, I'm correcting- right?

I guess I'm just looking for some support and advice from people who have been in my shoes.  :(

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=23325.0

Offline scrabble

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It's a b*tch. I'm going through the same thing: summer's here, time to get body conscious. Winter months are never as bad - jumpers, hoodies and jackets are mentally comforting [as well as physically warming :P], but ofcourse through the summer months this all has to go. Bring on the tshirts, and the easily defined bodily contours come with it - I know my paranoia has gotten worse, the feeling that people are watching me, laughing at me.

I spend most of my days in doors, though having said this I've got exams at the moment, so it's probably best for me at the moment, but I know that when these final wave of exams end, and my last summer in my home and the first year of Uni begins, I would not enjoy that time if I did not have surgery. How do I know this? Because every other summer has been like it. Because I imagine, every other summer for you has been like this. And that's why I'm getting it done - f*ck other people, and what they think if I or you get surgery; give us a break from all the bullshit we've had to face. Those same people may even be those likely to be, or to have been laughing at you - we can choose to fight the good fight and try to change the world... or we can fight the easy fight and choose to change ourselves.

By no means are we in the wrong for having gyne - never admit defeat to yourself and to others, but look at the way in which our society has treated us - lower than dog crap. Society is in the wrong for treating anyone who didn't "fit in" as sh*t - this goes for almost everything, such as religion and race. Sometimes society is forced to change for those causes, but when I looked back through my life, I came to the conclusion: life wont stop ridiculing a man with breasts.

If you can afford it, get surgery. If you can't, then get smart: I've found tight linen shirts work well with gyne; the fabric doesn't stretch as much as regular cotton, and the contouring is far decreased. But there's only one physical cure I'm afraid.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2011, 04:17:47 PM by scrabble »

Offline hatemymoobs

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That is how I feel sometimes. I'm all in a bad mood and disappointed and slightly sad feeling, almost a self pity "boo hoo why me?" type of feeling. Then I snap into a mood where I'm like "darn this" and begin to just think that I'll just get it done and it'll all be over. I have the money to get the surgery done 4 times over, with the best doctor possibly... money isn't the issue. Besides- what is money when you can't enjoy life?

But it's not only money, though. What if the surgeon messes up and I'm left with a deformity? Or a bad scar? What if I have this because of a medication I take? What if it comes back?

It's these things that scare me into going through. That and just the pure embarrassment and shameful feeling when calling a doctors appt and telling the girl who answers I want to consult with the dr about gynecomastia.......


Offline scrabble

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But it's not only money, though. What if the surgeon messes up and I'm left with a deformity? Or a bad scar? What if I have this because of a medication I take? What if it comes back?

Think about your gyne on a timeline scale - for instance, my third oldest memory was my bro taking the piss out of my puffy nips, so I know they certainly weren't cause from all the pot I smoked at 15 and 16.

In the freemarket capitalist world we live in money talks. The best surgeon is going to be charging the highest prices because he knows his previous work, photographed and stored on his laptop, speaks for itself. Scars vary from person to person - I know my skin heals very well to scaring, so think back to any time you've had to be sewn up and look at what's left over. Ultimately, a well trained surgeon knows to make as few cuts as possible, and will make as few as required. Yes the worse you're gyne is, the more cuts may need to be made, but liposuction is a key whole surgery, whilst nipple reductions are done along the areola. Bear in mind, many top surgeons groups may offer life-time aftercare, so if puffyness comes back, it's a matter of saying they didn't cut enough out.

Don't worry about calling. If they offer gyne surgery, then they know what it is even more than you do. The more open you are about it in those situations, the less reason they'll have to think "this guy's embarressed" - and if they do, trust me, they want to make you feel not embarrassed.

Offline looseSHIRT

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H,
I know its really hard.. if you cant yet afford surgery you can go for compression shirts.. they are really effective in hiding gyne.. but yeah for the moment.. cant really do shirtless in public.. Its really depressing, you think that everyone looks and laugh at you.. you feel really conscious on what you wear and everything.. What I did, I gave my self a goal.. to be able to save up for surgery.. but also make sure.. you get a reputable and experienced surgeon so they wont mess up the procedure... better do your research very well.. Goodluck mate!


 

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