It was traumatic.
I had heard so many times that you need to wear a bra, that I finally gave in and tried one on. It was my mother’s, and surprisingly enough, it fit me quite well.
On days when my nipples and breasts had been manhandled, my breast tissue would feel bruised and my nipples sore, and as I jiggled inside my tops the rest of the day, everything felt like it was on fire. As soon as I got home from school, I would immediately get on one of my mother’s bras out of the clothes hamper, put it on, and that would help a lot. She didn’t know, but she worked, so I was home alone in her bra. When I wasn’t in pain, I would replace her bra before she got home, but on those hurting days, I just couldn’t bear to take it off, so would make sure I wore something heavy and loose enough to conceal it.
One time, the day after my breasts and nipples had gotten particularly rough treatment in PE, we went swimming at my aunt’s pool. As we were finishing up, my aunt said she noticed my chest was red and looked like it must be sore. She handed me a tube of ointment that she said really helped her, but that she didn’t need anymore because my cousin was now a toddler.
It was all cryptic to me, but she clearly was trying to be nice, so I thanked her. She said to try it when I got home, but to be careful because it could be messy.
The tube said Lansinoh. It said it was nipple cream and it mentioned mother and baby. I tried it as soon as I got home. Looking in the mirror, I could see that my nipples were especially red; I think the chlorine in the pool must’ve irritated my already sore, chapped, cracked nipples that had been so harshly abused the day before. My aunt was right, the Lansinoh was very thick, but also gave immediate relief.
I regularly used it from then on. I don’t know if I could’ve made it through PE without it