Author Topic: Wearing a bra for now  (Read 3107 times)

Offline gmast

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I still maintain that if you have the right shirt selection you should not worry about any bra outline showing through. Again, T shirts are just not going to work as well as they are often too form fitting and thin, and if you bend over the back bra straps will easily show through.
If you are picking your shirts to keep the bra straps from showing, you are doing it backwards.  Don't try to minimize the problem with a shirt, minimize it with the bra, then supplement it with the shirt.  Get a bra that doesn't have bra straps that aren't thick, don't go over your shoulder blades, and doesn't have adjusters that make lumps on the back or shoulders.  Racerback bras have the straps come up the back between the shoulder blades.  These are less likely to show on the back and shoulders.  On some brands the straps are between the shoulder and neck and work with T-shirts, but often the straps are close to the neck so they will work with collered shirts, but not T-shirts.  T-Back bras also go between the shoulder blades and the straps are usually further from the neck so they aren't as likely to be seen under a T-shirt.

Offline brock123

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To me, this story feels like you are generally accepting of your appearance, and that's phenomenal.  But, I sense that while you are comfortable enough in your own skin, you are still worried about what your peers think, which is perfectly normal, but may be holding you back.

My concern for you is that it seems that you may have been (somewhat reluctantly) pushed into accepting your body geometry by females, and at a fairly young age.  I mean there ARE surgery options available out there that could help you attain a more "masculine" body geometry if you want, but only women are supposed to possess and embrace breasts.  Men are (sadly) still not there.

So what if you happen to need/want to wear a pink bra? It's YOUR body and YOUR clothes; do what feels right and try not to think about what anyone else things (easy to say when you're pushing 50, right?).

Offline blad

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Since my teen years, I never had negative feelings about wearing a bra to best deal with my breast comfort. It quickly seemed appropriate and even made me feel better about my breasts.

I just wanted an atmosphere to do so without sharing it to the rest of the world and needing to explain my situation. It was not something I wanted to be public about. And that is really the biggest challenge; not accepting breasts and the benefit of a bra but just ones public presentation.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Conor W

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Thanks. To be honest, talking on here is making a bit more confident about being more in control. I think I had a few years to get used the idea of my boobs but moving from binding to bras is a psychological shock. I know I feel comfort in a bra and that’s the embarrassing bit. And I don’t feel like a proper man. I had the afternoon off and my mum was off so we had a chat why my sister was at school. I said I’d been researching and wanted to try a racer bra. She said she knew I was struggling binding and if I wanted to wear a bra more it’s my choice. She sort of suggested I needed to do something. Some of the bras are 42, one is 44 for some reason so we ordered a 42b that fastens at the front as she said that hides the clasp. I think I’m more bothered about what people will say and react plus it looking stupid out and about. I can try wear clothes to hide. 

I only ended up trying the pink one when I said do other colours hide better and she got me one of my sisters old ones. Still feels mad talking about bras but certainly at home it’s sort of routine to have one on

Offline taxmapper

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So that you know that others are in the same boat. 

I have had several clasp type bras that simply didn't work for me, so i have stuck to sports bras but that's my issue.   

I enjoy the racer backs because they don't have the strap constantly falling off the side and I dont have the downward stress of the straps on me. 
The Y and T backs are most comfortable for me and because they have no clasps involved I don't have that issue. Just protrusion of the breasts themselves under pads. 


Offline Goodnplenty

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If you're worried about trying to hide the bra color under  your clothes you need to match the bra color to your skin tone and not the color of your shirt.  If you're Caucasian try a beige bra.  Many bra companies will have several shades of beige to pick from.  Also there's a reddit group called "a bra that fits" that is very helpful for all things bra related and is friendly to men with gynecomastia. 

Offline felix

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Taxmapper: I know we are in the minority here, but I find pullover type leisure and low impact sports bras completely adequate for every day wear.  I even wear one for mountain biking.  There is no hardware on the back and they are about as undetectable under a shirt as you can get.  I think they are a good "training bra" for guys with gyno.  I am a 42B going on C.  I do have some underwires I wear now and then, but most of the time the pullovers are fine.

Offline brock123

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Everything is seemingly a matter of perspective and personal acceptance; we will ultimately do what's "right" for us.  If I may provide a couple/few suggestions that may help you on your personal journey:


  • Oalka (search on Amazon) makes really comfy and very 'compressive' sports bras that fit me quite well and provide what I feel to be my most masculine appearance to date, weirdly enough. These may be visible/detectable under a T-Shirt, but under a decent button-down shirt even my wife didn't notice.
  • "Layers" work for men more than you might expect; if the goal is concealment, smushing "them" up with a compression garment and then adding another layer to conceal that garment (straps, it's always straps) works pretty well too IMO.  Let's say you opt into something with "spaghetti straps" and you feel that it's too visible for your tastes; adding a simple tank/cami with wider straps over it may very well move you into a more comfortable place.
  • Spanx for men (Manx)? It's really a thing, and is functional, if not imperfect.  Their older garments appear to me to do a better job in the chest area, but their newer male offerings are more comfortable overall and do mold a small/moderate fatty/glandular chest to look more like pecks would.  These aren't cheap, and they do tend to concentrate on the belly, but I think may be worth a look if the end goal is to stay masculine and work within those lines.

in the end, you need to "be you" and try to worry less about what anyone else thinks if compared to your personal feelings about yourself.  The person that will go the most unnoticed is the most confident one!




Offline Johndoe1

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Everyone is different when it comes to bras and hence why there are is a dizzying array styles and models to suit any taste. Everyone's breasts are as different and unique as they are. Men's breasts included. There is no one size fits all.

For those with smaller breasts, A-C cups, then a pull over sports bra type or a bralette type might be all the support you need. If that's the case, you are not alone. Many women fall into this same category and wear this type of bra everyday for the same reasons you do. But if you have D or D+ size breasts, as some of us do, or have more breast tissue or your breasts are more dense, hence more weight hanging off your chest, a pullover or bralette may not give enough support for everyday wear, containment or shaping. More "traditional" bras such as underwire or seamed cup or engineered bras like molded or spacer cup bras work better for support, containment, shaping and to a slightly lesser extent, modesty (high beams, pokies, nipples showing). Just because your "junk" maybe different from a woman's, doesn't mean your breasts are different than a woman's. They are not. Your tissue is made of the same tissue as a woman's. Men normally do not have the proper ratio of hormones to have development as women. But some of us do. As with women, everyone has different levels of development. It just happens to be that most men do not develop pronounced breasts, just like a small number of women who do not develop pronounced breasts as well. And many of them are as distressed about being flat chested as we are about development and for the same reasons. Society says women have defined, pronounced breasts and men are flat chested. The reality is some men have very pronounced, feminine breasts and some woman have flat, manly looking chests, not even needing to wear a bra. Neither diminishes who they are because they don't fit the societal normal. And chest support should not be defined by gender, but need. If a woman feels she doesn't have enough breast development to warrant wearing a bra, then that's her choice. If a man has breast development and finds that wearing a bra is beneficial, then that's his choice and no one should care in either case. But we know that isn't what happens in both cases. I have been discriminated against about buying a bra because it was for me (a male) and not my wife (a female). But all I am trying to do is to be comfortable and have good body image with what body I have. It has nothing to do with gender. It's a physical thing. And I am sure flat chested women are pressured to get a "boob job" to look more "womanly" just like we are pressured to have reductions to look more "manly". Frankly, it's no one's business. Just my opinion.

Offline curiousk

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John, you sums everything up so well!!   I wear " traditional" bras because I feel more comfortable and contained with that style.  I wear underwire bras 95% of the time.  My breasts have a lot of glandular tissue in them and are getting heavy.  Before I started wearing a bra, I knew that my breasts moved a lot.  After wearing a bra for awhile, taking it off and walking around, my breasts move around a lot!!   So glad that I'm wearing a bra and I don't plan on having surgery to become more "manly".  I'm still a man, but with breasts large enough to need support from a bra.

Offline Conor W

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So the racer back bra arrived and I’m trying it today. It feels different, more solid. My boobs are like a solid block! It’s different on your back and the strap don’t occasionally slip so I can see the advantage. Puts the pressure in the centre of your back. To me it feels more constrained. 

Offline Johndoe1

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So the racer back bra arrived and I’m trying it today. It feels different, more solid. My boobs are like a solid block! It’s different on your back and the strap don’t occasionally slip so I can see the advantage. Puts the pressure in the centre of your back. To me it feels more constrained.
So is that constraint better or worse? It sounds like the support you are getting is more comfortable to you and it sounds like it surprises you that a bra can be comfortable and supportive. I too, and I suspect others do too, prefer to have their busts solidly contained for comfort as well as appearance reasons. There's nothing wrong with that. That is what a properly fitting bra is suppose to do. Keep the bust under control of movement and support the weight of the breasts to maintain comfort. If that is what is happening, then the bra is doing its job.

Offline Conor W

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It just feels different. It’s a bit like having them clamped in position wearing a tight vest. What I do know is they fill the cups. Wearing it round the house today so just in a polo top and it maybe better at the back but I have a chest like the others. I think maybe I got used to the other strap style. Going out later so will switch to a binder but can’t do that much longer. My mum says she only wears these for gym or long walks. To be honest I think I prefer the lighter normal ones. This feels like armour 

Offline Johndoe1

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It shouldn't be uncomfortable. It may feel snug. Maybe a little more snug than you would think, but that is good. If they feel "clamped in" that is what you want. Again, though, the underband or cups should not be uncomfortable or cutting into your body. You want it to support and keep your breasts from moving around in any direction no matter what position you body might be in and to do that it needs to fit the body like a glove and be very snug on the body. If they are not moving, then the bra is working. Remember, the underband is doing 80% of the work while the straps keep the bra in the correct vertical position on the body. If the straps are doing most of the work, then either the straps are too tight or the underband is too loose.

Just remember that a bra is to support breasts. Not male breasts. Not female breasts. It doesn't discriminate. It is there to support breasts. PERIOD. It is a support garment and nothing else. Not all bras have lace or are pink or look delicate. Bras made for larger breasts look pretty industrial and that is a major complaint of many busty women. "Why don't they make pretty, cute bras in my size." So the notion that bras are frilly really is just a fantasy. Bras that support breasts are not frilly. If they are frilly, they aren't supporting breasts.

I think the comparison to armor is a good one. Many women say they feel like putting on armor when they put their bra on and they like that. It gives them a feeling that their bosom is protected and supported; they don't have to worry about it. It gives them confidence. Just about all of us felt the same way you do now. It is all new and a little unnerving because guys aren't suppose to have breasts and need to wear a bra. A bra is supposed to be a "female" thing and it is hard to get your head wrapped around it. But you eventually see the benefits. Particularly if your breasts continue to grow and/or become heavier making movement or not being supported uncomfortable. Just because you have breasts does not mean you are any less male. It just means you are you. And if you are male, then you are a male with benefits!


Offline Conor W

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Well, I’m not sure they are benefits. I’m sure I’d be way happier without them. Not sure I’m in to lace and pink but the white lace two I have seem a bit comfier than the racer sports bra. The plain ones are fine, they are triumph. Felt like Madonna in a cone bra in the racer. Maybe I would get more used to it, feels more solid and strapped in. 
My boobs are like a girls, I can see that and when I see my friends, I see my chest looks not too dissimilar when I have a regular bra on. The binder really is getting unmanageable and when they have nothing they move a lot and can ache. The nipples get sensitive because they are big. Just don’t want to be a hermit.
College ends in June. Going to try ride it out till then - then maybe bin then binders.


 

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