Author Topic: Wearing a bra for now  (Read 5707 times)

Offline aboywithgirls

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I used to care if my bra was visible until I didn't. A while back, a lady friend asked me, out of the blue, at lunch, " what size are you?". I knew what she mentioned but, I pretended not to know. I thought about denying it but the was no point. She told me how obvious it was and that she completely understood. I think that I was a DD or a DDD back then. I should have realized that at least to the people that I see everyday would notice not just the little bumps on my back but, the big bumps on the front. We are who we are and we should try to be proud of ourselves for doing what is best for ourselves. In this case, it's wearing a bra that improves our quality of life.
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.

Offline Harmony74

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Wow; all respect to you. D cup.  I couldn’t imagine my boobs getting bigger. They are filling a b cup fully. I lost weight and they stuck out more. My mum said don’t expect anything to happen quickly when she had the bra chat instead of binding. In other words, you are going to have to learn to live with them for a bit.  I just find the bra comfier and not has hot or constrictive. I also find they can feel sore occasionally and now if I don’t wear a bra my back aches a little. So it has become normal to put one on getting dressed in the morning
Just wanted to add that comparing cup sizes irrespective of band size doesn’t make a lot of sense. A 42B is equivalent to a 34DDD in volume. Cup size just describes the difference between band and cup. 


Offline Johndoe1

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People get hung up on the letters without understanding what it truly means. A letter or letters by themselves mean nothing without the number. Your breast shape and type play into it as well. 40B is actually small where a 28B would be considered medium or large depending on shape and type of breast. I myself is 36DDD or 38DD depending on the bra. Because I am wideset and shallow and large root, my projection is not what the numbers and letters might suggest. Do I have a lot of tissue? Yes but it is spread out over my chest in such a way I need the cup size to fit around the tissue. If I were full and narrow root in my size, I would look like a porn star! It's all relative.

Online curiousk

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John, you are so right.  I hate when I hear women talking about the cup without the band.  I'm a 42C or 40D depending on the bra style.  I'm wideset, shallow and large root as well.  
Conor, I'm proud of you.  You've taken this head on and came up with the best solution for yourself.  I wish that starting wearing a bra at your age.  Things would have been so much easier.  You will live a life of comfortable and building confidence in your appearance.  Wearing a bra and dressing for your shape will become second nature.  Bra shopping will get easier too.  

Offline Conor W

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Not sure about bra shopping. Whilst I’m sure they could see i wear one and why , I’m not sure I could walk into a bra department or somewhere like Victoria’s Secret and buy a bra for myself or talk to the assistant. My mum got the bras and I’d use Amazon.
I can’t face exposing myself and situation more but have let close friends see me in a t shirt and bra , it’s too hot to put a shirt over the t shirt. It’s the mounds infront that are more noticeable than the straps even in a baggy t shirt. I’m sure I’ll get my head round all these sizes thing but I know my boobs feel big and heavy and show- and  It’s difficult to hide that bit. The nipples are big as well. 
Summer is the worst time dealing with this. But I can’t be a hermit and don’t want to loose friends. 


I’m basically mainly wearing ordinary bras from the supermarket or internet. One is basic and the rest look more lacey. They seem to work the best. I was looking on line at t shirt bras. Don’t really want to ask my mum , are they better ? Presumably better with t shirts but how? 

Offline aboywithgirls

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You need to ask your mother to go with you bra shopping. You need to tell your fitter what you want in a bra andbget one that fits. Otherwise, it's all trial and error.

Offline Conor W

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I really couldn’t deal with going to a shop with my mum to have a stranger measure my bust and try bras on. Bad enough my mum did it.
I’m 18
I’m guessing most 18 year old girls buy their own clothes like that .
And there is a difference between buying one in Walmart or going to Victoria’s Secret or another underwear shop

Offline Johndoe1

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If you can't or don't want to go with your mum, ring up small stockest and ask if they fit people with gynecomastia. If they know what gynecomastia is, they will more than likely fit men. If they say yes, ask for a private after hours appointment. They will be happy to do that. They will also understand about your intrepidation. This is how many of us do it. Then go by yourself.

Offline Conor W

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I’d have to build myself up for that. When the doctor was measuring and feeling them I was blushing and red. That was months ago and they are bigger now. He was grabbing them and feeling the weight and talked of glandular tissue. The nipples are huge. I’m sort of used to the ones I have I guess. The softer ones are comfier. Maybe that’s me 

Offline Dudewithboobs

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I think with time comes comfort in the ability to do things we once thought to be unfathomable or absolutely intimidating to even entertain. I myself am very comfortable shopping for a bra and trying them on in walmart or target especially since they have self checkouts. But even more so because they are a big store. The bra section is fairly open and many people walking by may see you but not see what you’re looking at or holding or heading to try on. Where as a VS or other super hyper feminine stores are a bit compact and all right there. And where a Walmart or target or kohl’s is very open where a few people in the bra area may be mehhh so what a VS is compact and closely outlined a few people seem like a flood of people just watching you. Even if they aren’t. 
For me the trial and error is as you said my thought too, it’s how women find their match with clothes bras etc. I’m sure some women get professionally fitted but like men I’d guess it’s a minority who actually do hence why most women are wearing the wrong size they say. 
For me I love going to a store before work at like 7am and browsing taking my time and enjoying the opportunity to freely shop and try on and sit in a fitting room myself with bras of interest trying them on under my work shirts and generally finding another shirt in the men’s dept similar to a common shirt I’d wear of my own to see how the bras look under them. 

A professional fitting is great I’m sure but not always necessary. Sometimes a professional misses the personal touch that taking your own time to find in your bra selection can benefit for yourself. 

Offline blad

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There really is not substitute for trying on the bras before you purchase them, and getting help from the sales associates in selecting and sizing. I think you would find that they genuinely want to help and understand the benefits of choosing the right bra and size, no matter who the breasts belong to. They would more likely be empathetic than be at all negative towards you. Perhaps a store outside of your immediate area would be more covert, and avoid places like Victorias Secret as they are fashion focused rather than function and I am guessing not the product you want to wear at this point.

That said, obviously you will find this a big step to make as did most of us, but honestly once you have tried it once and survived you will realize it is no big deal and can actually be fun to find the bra you want to wear. Having your mother or sister come the first time could help for sure.

And you may get lucky buying off the internet. Often though, how a bra appears on line and the reality once you get it can be surprisingly different. The actual look and feel of the bra can be different than expected, and of course sizing will seem like going to Vagas. 

But the big take away you have already come to is realizing the comfort and benefits of a bra to manage our breast development in the most logical way. It will not take long to seem like a complete routine to put a bra on in the morning and forget about it. It is not ultimately something to fixate about or define you, it is just clothing like a pair of socks.

But it is good to have the correct fitting socks. 

If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Dudewithboobs

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Agreed ^ buying in person is unbeatable. It can be and still is intimidating to me at times. Hence why I go at the slowest times of the day. But buying online is just a risk. If you do I would still go in person to try some on and remember the brand names and band and cup size and style of the bra and order from that company’s website to do so. That way you escape the public purchase and shopping but know you’re getting what you originally found to be right for you. 

My biggest mistake when First trying bras in buying online was buying pre owned bras. Thinking cheaper and I’ll wash and dry and it’ll be like new lol it’s such a gamble cause bands may be stretched or cups may be not as effective. 

Going with your mom is great opportunity you’re young enough that shopping with mom is still a thing and if you know your measurements and size she can grab a few while you play on your phone or something and she can go to a dressing room drop them in and you can go in to try them on. I doubt she’s gonna hold the bra up to you like pants when we were all kids lol but it is a good opportunity to get comfortable in the department and evade people thinking you’re there on your own purpose. 

Offline p.r.1974

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I would also echo the benefit of purchasing new bras, for the mentioned reasons. For me. I also can't get past the bra being worn by a stranger, though I have worn  those of an intimate partner. I was terrified of buying for myself at first, and did the online thing. Lots of hit and miss until I found a couple that worked. I finally got tired of the time and expense of hit and miss, and went into Lane Bryant to grab some underwear "for a friend".  And did this a few times while still doing the online thing. 

Then one day, I decided to go back, and the sales associate that had helped me find some panties for my friend said hello and asked me if I needed any help. So, even though I was all but shaking, I decided to say I was looking for me, and I didn't know where to start. At that point, she opened up and relaxed quite a bit. I have not been small in height or stature since I was 5, so my asking had let her know there was a need. She had been professionally polite and helpful before, but genuinely friendly, understanding, and accepting after I was. Since then, I have been helped by everyone, and had the conversation about how they have a good idea who is actually buying for a friend or partner, and who is not. Again all professional and friendly, but a polite nod that they figured out where I was; they have heard it all.

I would say that it is all your decision in how you proceed at your pace. Though I will say life has been more pleasant, and more thrifty, being able to try on in store, and with help of some new friends.

Offline Conor W

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I’m not sure I could even face a conversation where I asked my mum to take me shopping for new underwear , let alone bras. And my sister is younger than me by one year. I could ask my friends but would need to think it through. And certainly not yet. Then my mum would wonder where new bras had come from so maybe best left till I go to university

Offline Dudewithboobs

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Unless they are causing pain and discomfort waiting until college isn’t a bad bet. I go shopping for my bras when and if I get one in the next town over at the Walmart there. Being in a area that people you know don’t go cause their town has the same store and such can be very liberating to concerns and fears. 


 

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