Author Topic: I enjoy my breasts - How do I get my family to accept them  (Read 14320 times)

Offline niti123

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I have gynomastia and my breasts have grown from a flat chest to a size 38B in four months and are still growing. I have started loving wearing a bra. How do I get my wife to accept that I have gynomastia and enjoy it. She is in self denial and tells it is only fat tissue - which it is not.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=23757.0

Offline Chicago

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Perhaps if you take her to the doctor with you and the doc explains that its just not fat.

Offline Bman41

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My wife thinks it is only fat too.  I hope it only is.....


Offline Raider Fan

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There is no reason at all for your wife to "enjoy it".  Accept it, yes....."enjoy it"....no.  There is nothing that says spouses should "enjoy" the abnormalities of their partner.  To expect such a thing is expecting too much. 

Offline Chicago

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There is no reason at all for your wife to "enjoy it".  Accept it, yes....."enjoy it"....no.  There is nothing that says spouses should "enjoy" the abnormalities of their partner.  To expect such a thing is expecting too much. 

Quite honestly, this sounds like someone not married or in love. I assure you I enjoy and love each little imperfection of my wife and there is nothing about her I merely "accept".


Offline Raider Fan

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Quite honestly, this sounds like someone not married or in love. I assure you I enjoy and love each little imperfection of my wife and there is nothing about her I merely "accept".

There's such a thing as going overboard with empathy.  If your wife got cancer, I suppose you'd "love" the tumor, too? 

Your statement is ridiculous, irrational and dishonest.  We're not expected to love "things that are wrong" or abnormal, nor should we.  In fact, we should hate the things that are making our spouse miserable. If our mate has a habit of speeding and running red lights, we shouldn't learn to "accept" that about them, we should try to change their behavior. 

If your wife grew a penis, you would not be expected to love it, nor SHOULD you.  A wife should no more learn to love a man with boobs than she would love an illness or disease he is afflicted with.

Looks to me like you're arguing for the sake of arguing. Abnormalities are just that.  They are something that isn't normal.  Just because they are there doesn't mean we should act as if everything's fine.  A man who "expects" his wife to get into him wearing a bra is not only selfish, he has psychological problems.  There's no reason to "love" or "accept" something that makes life unhappy.

Offline Chicago

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Would you merely "accept" a wife or a child with a disability, too? or should you "hate" their disability?

Your statements are just sad, really sad.


Quite honestly, this sounds like someone not married or in love. I assure you I enjoy and love each little imperfection of my wife and there is nothing about her I merely "accept".

There's such a thing as going overboard with empathy.  If your wife got cancer, I suppose you'd "love" the tumor, too? 

Your statement is ridiculous, irrational and dishonest.  We're not expected to love "things that are wrong" or abnormal, nor should we.  In fact, we should hate the things that are making our spouse miserable. If our mate has a habit of speeding and running red lights, we shouldn't learn to "accept" that about them, we should try to change their behavior. 

If your wife grew a penis, you would not be expected to love it, nor SHOULD you.  A wife should no more learn to love a man with boobs than she would love an illness or disease he is afflicted with.

Looks to me like you're arguing for the sake of arguing. Abnormalities are just that.  They are something that isn't normal.  Just because they are there doesn't mean we should act as if everything's fine.  A man who "expects" his wife to get into him wearing a bra is not only selfish, he has psychological problems.  There's no reason to "love" or "accept" something that makes life unhappy.

Offline William

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Raider

Why are you here? Shouldn't you have already had your surgery and moved on???  What sane reason would have to still be on this forum?



Quite honestly, this sounds like someone not married or in love. I assure you I enjoy and love each little imperfection of my wife and there is nothing about her I merely "accept".

There's such a thing as going overboard with empathy.  If your wife got cancer, I suppose you'd "love" the tumor, too? 

Your statement is ridiculous, irrational and dishonest.  We're not expected to love "things that are wrong" or abnormal, nor should we.  In fact, we should hate the things that are making our spouse miserable. If our mate has a habit of speeding and running red lights, we shouldn't learn to "accept" that about them, we should try to change their behavior. 

If your wife grew a penis, you would not be expected to love it, nor SHOULD you.  A wife should no more learn to love a man with boobs than she would love an illness or disease he is afflicted with.

Looks to me like you're arguing for the sake of arguing. Abnormalities are just that.  They are something that isn't normal.  Just because they are there doesn't mean we should act as if everything's fine.  A man who "expects" his wife to get into him wearing a bra is not only selfish, he has psychological problems.  There's no reason to "love" or "accept" something that makes life unhappy.

Offline Chicago

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I hope someday you grow up. I hope someday you fall in love. I hope that someday you realize how much you don't know.


I suppose I'm here to correct the misguided, ignorant and uninformed.  You newbies have a lot to learn.  I guess I'm the chosen one.  Someone has to be the voice of reason; the truth teller.  You guys can get off to wearing bras and other nonsense, if you want.  i have better things to do....like telling the truth to people with gynecomastia. 

Offline gotgyne

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i have better things to do....like telling the truth to people with gynecomastia.

Raider, did you ever watch the movie 'Rashomon'? If so, you'd know that THE truth doesn't exist. Your truth is only valid from your point of view.

If you hated your gyne and got surgery to eliminate this problem, then this is only your truth. But your truth is not the truth of all the members of this forum. Yes, I admit that I felt uncomfortable with my breasts at first, but never to such a degree like growing boys might feel. Nevertheless I do understand their pain since I got bullied myself at school, but for other reasons. If they make every effort to get rid of their gyne, why not?

But I developed my gyne in my late 40s. I didn't stop to be male only because of the breasts. So what's the problem? I'm a small B cup now and meanwhile I like my breasts too. So why choose surgery? Only because some people like you tell us that this condition is abnormal? Yes, if gyne were a mortal disease, I'd try to get rid of it. But it is not. Besides I can't afford surgery. And for some men with severe gynecomastia surgery means more then liposuction. It is a bilateral mastectomy with all risks of general anesthesia, infection and so on. A new bra every now and then is much cheaper and much safer.

John
A bra is just an article of clothing for people with breasts.

Offline chopper

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I'm actually with Raider on this one. Wanting your wife to enjoy your boobs I think is asking too much unless she naturally enjoys playing with them. If she is in denial about them I think that pretty much sums up her interest in them from, that's the way I see it anyway. Perhaps coming to terms and then accepting and enjoying them is the next stage, but to go from denial to enjoyment seems a few steps removed at the moment.
 I don't know what politics you guys have with Raider and I don't want to get involved in that, just chiming in :)

Offline gotgyne

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It's simple Chopper. It's not against Rider, it's against his posting in this section. In this subforum it's all about acceptance. If I'd post in the general or surgery section and vote against surgery the opposition would be similarly fierce. Of course it is not easy for a wife at first to accept the fact that her husband develops breasts. But it's not impossible. Some men in this forum received the first recommendation to wear a bra from their wives. From understanding there are only some small steps to acception and more.

Offline Raider Fan

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Thanks for the support, chopper.  But none of it really matters.  I learned a long time ago that it's a waste of time to debate weirdos and the ignorant.  Neither group is interested in the truth, they are only interested in attempting to justify their weirdness.  They EXPECT people to accept THEM, and if they don't, then something must be wrong with THEM, not the other way around.  If a wife doesn't like her man's bra, SHE'S the selfish one, according to these people.  Something's wrong with HER!  This type of person wants to blame others for their problems.  Also, I think a lot of these posts are just silly posts made by drive-by posters.....hoping to get a laugh.  Notice that many people make a post like this and are never heard from again.   

Sometimes, however, people truly do take great delight in their extremism.  It is their desire to be extreme, or different.  When someone goes out of their way to debate and justify their inherent weirdness or abnormality, that's our cue to leave them with their bras and the smiles on their faces and simply wish them a good day.  ;)

Offline Chicago

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Thanks for the support, chopper.  But none of it really matters.  I learned a long time ago that it's a waste of time to debate weirdos and the ignorant.  Neither group is interested in the truth, they are only interested in attempting to justify their weirdness.  They EXPECT people to accept THEM, and if they don't, then something must be wrong with THEM, not the other way around.  If a wife doesn't like her man's bra, SHE'S the selfish one, according to these people.  Something's wrong with HER!  This type of person wants to blame others for their problems.  Also, I think a lot of these posts are just silly posts made by drive-by posters.....hoping to get a laugh.  Notice that many people make a post like this and are never heard from again.   

Sometimes, however, people truly do take great delight in their extremism.  It is their desire to be extreme, or different.  When someone goes out of their way to debate and justify their inherent weirdness or abnormality, that's our cue to leave them with their bras and the smiles on their faces and simply wish them a good day.  ;)

You need to stop with the name calling dude. The only one ignorant around this thread has been you. I didn't hear anyone else here throwing away a good college education because of their chest. All you do is post ad hominum attacks, hoping that distracts people from your myopic views and limited life experience.

Shit man, of all the things that can happen to someone: cancer, being confined to a wheelchair, neurological disease, etc... having a set of breasts is WAAAAY down the "abnormal" list.

PS, 50% of the population wears a bra. a couple more folks aren't going to ruin the moral fabric of the world.

Offline Raider Fan

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The following is noteworthy about your last post......you resort to anger, rudeness, cursing and going completely off topic when others disagree with you and/or after you have been soundly beaten in a debate.  You seem to be unable to respond without engaging in personal attacks, which are against the terms and conditions of this board. 

I don't know what you're referring to as "name calling," but from your last post directed to me, you seem to be the prime offender in that regard.  My use of the word "ignorant" is not a derogatory term, it is a descriptor.  It is simply a description of what your knowledge of gynecomastia is.  On this thread, as well as another thread, you have exhibited personal attacks and pure ignorance.  If someone disagrees with you, you feel the need to engage in a personal attack and accuse them of things you conjure up in your own mind. 

People exhibit ignorance by speaking on subjects that they have inadequate knowledge of.  After I have corrected your incorrect statements, it is as if you have nothing else to offer so you become rude, angry and show an inability to make a post without cursing.  If you can't disagree with someone on these boards without exhibiting inappropriate behavior, perhaps you shouldn't come around.  There are terms and conditions here for being a member and you seem to disregard them frequently.   


 

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