Author Topic: Family  (Read 631 times)

Offline Dudewithboobs

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Good morning community how's it going? Winter in st louis has been frgid but it's been good for the boobs in the sense of don't gotta worry about t shirts and bras showing things I don't want lol. However, my chest has seemed to have gotten fuller in previous weeks. My shirts are tighter, my chest is sticking out a bit more, fullness is fuller, I wish I would feel some kind of itching, pain, or something to signal it's happening, but it seems to be that I just feel my arms hitting them more one day, or feel them more on my ribs when I sit or the part that is more concerning as a dude with warmer months, months away, looking in the mirror and seeing a much more defined shape/contour of the chest that tells you "we aren't in kansas anymore".
For those who may be like myself who have developed in adulthood out of nowhere seemingly, how did you explain to people when you went swimming especially that you now have breasts. A little cushion, a little shape i feel is expected in any guy in this day and age but man boobs are def very different than breasts and I can't deny that I feel my chest officially has a breast shape and volume. I know if I saw someone like me who is fairly well in shape, one year have a normal chest and next year has b cups, i'd be very suspicious that something else was happening more than sympathizing with what may be happening. I have seen doctors had levels tested x rays done, no pituitary no alarming levels just good ol idiopathic response. After that I just quit  caring and accepted it and hoped they'd just stop before they got to a noticable size, but it seems that they aren't done yet. My inlaws about 3/4 of them are about as judgmental as it gets and we swim with them a few times in the warmer months, with a toddler who loves the water i'm sure it will be more so this year than before. So just curious, how you'd explain to a judgmental group, who you're already the outsider of, why you have boobs.

And sorry if this doesn't belong in acceptance, I just felt the Family subthread is more about telling mom and dad than what this may be more for. I've accepted my chest, I've come to enjoy my chest and whether I'm a B C or D student in regard to where my report card lands in the end I'm ok with, just curious how to get those who I know woudln't be ok with it and feel theres a conspiracy to be found (as they are super conspiracy theorists) to accept that it's been looked at, nothings been found, i'm just randomly growing boobs it seems so please accept it as i have.   


Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=36091.0

Offline 42CSuprise!

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I have to smile at your report card reference since in this instance the lower the grade the greater the pleasure... ;D

If your in-laws are "super conspiracy theorists" they probably aren't big fans of transgender folk... they might jump to all sorts of conclusions when confronted with your breasts.  Of course, you have the most direct and honest response since you've been examined by doctors who found no health issues requiring treatment.  Don't tell them about this website, however.  My guess is acceptance would not be high on their list of preferred responses.  They'd likely want you under some doctor's scalpel.

This is a strange website.  We're talking about acceptance and discussing brassiere options but the undercurrent that is seldom talked about is the fact there is a certain pleasure in coming to a relationship with the breasts growing on our chests.  I know I'm a bit of an outlier since I'm rather forthright about the pleasure I take in this journey.  I guess as a single man I can do that without any blow-back from a partner.  And clearly, I'm not faced with the circumstances in which you find yourself.  Perhaps some of our compatriots who are in relationship will have something constructive to say.  Honestly, as uncomfortable as this may be for you, it seems to me you've done everything right.  Good luck as this unfolds... summer WILL eventually arrive.

Offline Dudewithboobs

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haha i agree i truly hope they don't keep growing but i can't deny they are much more enjoyable in pleasure as a b cup than they were as an a cup lol though i know some women who i've dated even my wife who get 0 pleasure from their breasts as c cups and more so i'm sure it just depends on the person but i do wonder if they keep growing will the intensity of pleasure follow suit lol but neihter here nor there. 

they aren't which is fine i am all ok with the lgbtq folks but if others aren't whatever not gonna change their mind so why try. and given recent topics and posts on this site i wouldn't honestly dare show anyone this site , it def isn't the site it was 2 years ago and it's fine i'm over it. i use it for me and thats good enough. yeah single vs married is a bit diff dynamic especially for one like me who married and didn't have boobs now i am and have a kid and have boobs lol but they aren't huge so i'm not gonna get sympathy in a bra option anytime soon i'm sure. apppreciate the luck i may need it if they keep growing. whats taken me by surprise is the fullness thats occurred and it seems growth stopped a moment and as tissue hardened they took on a more projected shape growing boobs has def been interesting, not an interest i'd care to have but i've since quit worrying and begun enjoying it

Offline 42CSuprise!

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There was an old commercial that said "You can't fool Mother Nature!"  That was about margarine as a replacement for butter but it certainly is apropos for all the men here with breasts growing on our chests.  Yes, I know there are men working very hard to GROW breasts.  I've met them on websites devoted to the topic.  Some are interested in transitioning by many are happy being men but also love having breasts.  I know that is not what is at play on this website, which is fine with me.  I have no interest in taking herbs to make them bigger.  But it would be foolish to argue with Mother Nature about the hormone mix percolating through my body which does in fact contribute to breast growth and diminished libido.  I know how much of my life I've lived believing I know how everyone should live.  From that perspective, anything out of the ordinary is judged.  I could do that with LBGTG and it would be easy to look at men with breasts as strange creatures.  But many of us have lived with bodies that don't fit the stereotype, so we've experienced shame and have attempted to hide so no one would see.  I think it is fortunate that we've come to this website and are learning how to be more accepting of what nature has offered to us.  If along the way we experience pleasure in our development, so be it.  That is likely rooted in hormones as well.  So here we are, doing out best to come to terms with it ALL.


Offline taxmapper

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Having had this start only recently I have grown in nearly 2 years over 4 inches greater in circumference. 

My sister knows and my niece jokes with me and has a "boob bounce' contest with me as she throws her chest into mine.  

The other half is slowly allowing it to be part of everyday life. 
Though she still hates it, because she wants me to have a Viking chest.   

OK well I now have a shield maiden chest, but she got the viking part. 


The kicker will be when (or if) we can ever leave the State to visit family again that they are very conservative in nature (as am I in general) but may not be fully accepting of me walking in with a chest they didn't expect.   

I wont hide anything, but the reality is that its me, not them affected.  They will be far more accepting if I am not forceful or obnoxious about it. 

Offline Aussie63

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Dealing with the reactions of family members is something that I think of often, even though I'm not at the stage where I actually have to do so yet.

Maybe it is a case of caring less about the reactions from elders (this will sound appallingly insensitive, but realistically, how long are they going to be around for?), only caring a little bit about the way that your own generation reacts whether that be siblings, friends or colleagues and caring more about what your children or nieces/nephews thinks? Realistically, that last cohort probably won't even care, because they will grow up in parallel with you growing out, if you know what I mean. It will always be a case of what they have gotten used to. Grandpa/Uncle has boobies because of the special medicine that he needs. That said, my biggest worry is how my granddaughter will react if and when she ever notices that I might not look like a normal Papa. 

Dealing with colleagues is easy in my opinion. I've already said to my workmates that I would rather end up looking like Dolly Parton due to a certain type of hormone therapy that I could end up receiving, rather than end up a gibbering emo mess due to another type of hormone therapy that could be prescribed. I've even offered my workmates grope-for-cash if I end up well endowed! Hey guys, check these out! Ya jealous or what?!

Your true friends will accept you if you have a genuine conversation with them. If they don't, maybe they are not true friends. Mate, I can't help that they're there, I didn't ask for them, I can't hide them, and I'm just trying to be comfortable. Imagine if you had a set, what would you do?

I can't stop imagining how my adult children and their partners would react. I think my kids would eventually understand and accept, knowing my medical history, but as others have said there is that conservative element among others that make the thought of conversations with them on that topic difficult to contemplate. Maybe the best way to deal with such people is to joke around with them, treat them like workmates, make a bet with them that they can't guess your size etc., then shame them by exposing their narrow mindedness. Jeans were invented for miners then women wanted to wear them too. Boyleg briefs were invented so that women could wear underwear that looked like mens briefs. Bras were invented to support breasts. Why should it matter who owns the breasts?

Offline FredL

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Don't assume that the way people respond, or don't respond to your breasts represents the thoughts that are in their heads. Most of the people in your life are just as reluctant to talk about your boobs as you are, and if confronted, will respond with respect and love rather than honesty.

My example-
I sat my two adult sons (21 and 25) down a couple weeks ago to tell them I was having gynecomastia surgery. They both responded, saying that it never occurred to them that I had boobs and that having them bugged me. That was strange to hear because I know it's not true. 

I was always terrified about what they would think of my boobs as they grew up. We have a pool and they almost never had their friends over, which said to that they didn't want their friends to see and know about it. There's always a chance I could come walking out back with my shirt off.

One time when they were little I came into a room where they were goofing around and my older son (around 11 at the time) was wearing my football jersey with a couple of tennis balls underneath, mimicking things I say, and the other was giggling. They were clearly making fun of me and I caught them. Of course, I let it roll by at the time, but it's proof to me that they're not being honest about never noticing my boobs. Why did they lie? Because of love and respect. In this case, it's probably better to be lied to. I'd be devastated if my two adult boys revealed that my boobs weirded them out their whole lives and has been a joke between them and a source of embarrassment with their friends.  I know that's the case, I just can't bear to hear it from them.

I when I sat them down to tell them about my upcoming surgery, I explained what it's been like having boobs my whole life and how much I wanted to switch to a life with a somewhat flat chest. Instead of disagreeing and saying - dad, don't go under the knife (because they never noticed boobs), they both agreed with why I would want to have surgery and said they're happy for me. I'm sure, as they left our little meeting, they said to themselves "he's FINALLY doing something about it!".

Funny thing - since that meeting, they have both been doing a lot of bench pressing. I told them exercise and diet do nothing for this affliction, and neither of them have gynecomastia anyway, but it confirmed another thing for me. The fact that people care more about their own situations than yours. Talk about your boobs with another guy and all he's thinking about is his own chest. It's really true - other people don't care about your hang ups like you do because they have their own hang ups. 
Developed breasts at puberty and had corrective surgery at age 57.

Offline taxmapper

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This is me this am with my padded SB on. 


From the side it pops out. From the front not so much. 

These situations don't bother me as much as they did in the beginning.  And as I said because my niece is playfully aggressive with it, its at least kinda fun. 



Offline SideSet

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 I understand it may be awkward with family, but the bottom line is fairly simple. If you have breasts like a woman, you need to wear a bra like a woman. If you go topless, for example swimming, it will be a more uncomfortable experience for everybody than if you wear  something you appropriately need for support and modesty. 

Offline Dale Warnio

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  If you have breasts, you can be sure that everybody in your family has already noticed. Wearing a bra is not going to make them notice your breasts more.  You might get some comments, especially initially, though. 

I think the honest, straightforward answer is the best. You have breasts as big or bigger than a lot of women’s, so you need to wear a bra for the reasons women do, comfort and appearance.  

My guess is that family members will be generally accepting and female family members will be able to relate.  I suspect some female family members may discuss bras with you,  ask you your bra size, what types of bras you like, tell you what types of bras they like and are wearing. You may find yourself feeling closer to some of your female family members than ever before. 

Taxmapper,  I love your anecdote about your niece. She sounds great. And that’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.   

Offline Johndoe1

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taxmapper,

Your picture looks very appropriate and doesn't shout "look at my boobs." If people know you have a chest, they won't even give a second look. And if they don't know, chances are good they won't even recognize what it is the first time.


 

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