Author Topic: Acceptance via showing  (Read 847 times)

Offline Dudewithboobs

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 161
I was wondering if anyone has had experience in getting their wife to accept a bra option by method of exposure more than communicating it. For me like others I’ve seen, the idea of mentioning a bra to my wife is just not an option I find possible. I’ve gauged reaction enough to know her thoughts and know it just isn’t worth treading those waters. 

My wife hasn’t said anything over the year from when I went from a little cushion to a full B cup. We aren’t intimate ever and it’s been 8 months since we have had sex. And feel shirtless it would show how much they’ve grown warranting a bra. I am at a point I feel a bra isn’t life or death but would feel nice as I am feeling jiggling now and light bounce and a pull on my chest now. And in curiosity wearing a bra that all seems to go away. 

I know I cannot bring the idea of a bra to my wife. I have had a drs visit recently and nothing showed why they are growing more. No weight or medication to blame at 34 no age to blame. I function fine below so no hormones to blame I’m assuming. All that said to say it would be easier I assume if I had boobs before marriage or had a reason medically to show that would make my wife go it sucks but I get it and cause it’s due to this or that I don’t like it but I can accept it. 
But without a reason and rhyme for growth my fear is I will look like a fool or she will say boobs don’t just grow how can drs not say why they are? 

My wife is super loving accepting and all. But she’s also super old fashioned and everything it goes with. 

So I’m curious as this week I’ve begun sleeping shirtless. If my wife seeing my chest in view as she comes to bed after me and seeing my chest as full as it’s gotten if any way this may open the door for a bra conversation easier? 

This made more sense in my head and hope it doesn’t seem like rambling. I just know the “bra is for breasts I have breasts” rhetoric isn’t going to work and “you go braless for a day and tell me how you feel at the end” isn’t gonna work. 

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=35827.0

Offline Beeches

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 106
I hope the plan works for you, but do bear in mind that our female partners are used to dealing with way more breast tissue than many of us have been endowed with. If your wife is anything like mine, a B cup is more or less indiscernible unless attention is drawn to it, even though it might seem substantial to us. Don’t be disappointed if your wife simply does not notice your breasts. You may need to be more direct than that.

When I first discussed my gynecomastia with my partner I could tell from her expression that she was struggling to see what I was so concerned about. Eventually, I was getting so much discomfort from not wearing a bra that I decided to start wearing one when walking, cycling or running. I was upfront about this, and it seemed acceptable. My partner  supported my decision. I think this was because she understood from experience how uncomfortable unsupported breasts can be.

I do think that many women find it very difficult to accept that their man suddenly needs to wear an item of female clothing. It can so easily be misconstrued as transvestism, even if it is simply dealing with a physical requirement for support.

If you need to wear a bra, perhaps you need to try to explain to your wife why this is necessary, rather than just a proclivity. If she understands why you need to do this I’m sure she will understand and support you. I know it can be hard, but try to have that conversation if you can.

Good luck!

Offline Traveler

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 200
Two years ago, when I was maybe a C cup, I had the talk with the wife and while she wasn’t happy, by explaining how much pain I was in by daily activities. By talking about how it impacts my daily life she agreed that we had to do something. Two years later she was the one who ordered my first bras.
Slow and steady and talking wins the race.

DW20

  • Guest
Talking is the way to go. I know, it took me 2years after doctors advice before I took the plunge.
There was a day or so of unease before we got round to having a real  two way discussion.
Subsequently I came to understand that my wife needed reassuring that this wasn't a beginning of transitioning and there was no threat to the marriage. It was just that I NEEDED a bra for the same reasons our 3 daughters had decades ago. She on the other hand was jumping bridges I had no intention of crossing.
After another short interval she was actively helping bra fitting and over the years has been the leader of noticing other shape changes that have been helped by shopping outside the mens department.
She has taken to wearing shirts of mine she says that she has envied  and as shared elsewhere whilst I was away moved andorganized all OUR clothing into wardrobes in a spare bedroom now known as the changing room where we freely mix and match.
We both come from very conservative evangelical backgrounds, which we still are very much involved in.but where clothing is concerned we view it as the peripheral nothing it is.
Bottom line _have the conversation. Remember you are not the only one feeling the need for reassura.nce and you definitely do not know, and never will know where the journey will end until the first steps are taken.

Offline blad

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 199
Perhaps this counts;

One day in my early twenties, my wife was sitting with me on the edge of the bed while I was topless. She exclaimed that I needed a bra more than she did.

I think I may have seemed defensive on the outside, but on the inside I already new that. 

After a while I just started to wear my bras all the time. As she noticed we had a talk about my comfort etc and she settled into her acceptance of me wearing full time. It was a point of great satisfaction for me to not hide my comfort or wearing a bra and to do so daily without judgement. 
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Dudewithboobs

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 161
Thanks for the insight. Did she already know and aware of your breasts? Unsure what cup size you are or were. I sleep topless mostly and in a tank top also to try and show how full they’ve gotten but I don’t see her ever opening the conversation and if so it would be more of a what is going on than how are you feeling. 

Offline Beeches

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 106
My partner is fully aware of my breast development, and is generally supportive. We have discussed it at length in the past, but I have always thought that she only accepts my situation somewhat reluctantly.

The last time the subject of breasts and choice of bras came up she said that I knew more about bras than she did and that she was getting tired of hearing about it. I can kind of see her point - she doesn’t want to think of her man in a bra. I deference to her discomfort with the notion, I no longer raise the subject, and she never mentions it either. I still wear a bra for comfort and support (and modesty) but try not to have her see me in it when undressing.

From a woman’s point of view it must be hard to come to terms with, and I think most women would be secretly concerned that there is some sort of transitioning implicit in the breast growth, even though this is absolutely not the case with me.

Maybe if our Significant Other seems oblivious of our breast growth it is because they don’t want to acknowledge it?

Offline blad

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 199
My partner is fully aware of my breast development, and is generally supportive. We have discussed it at length in the past, but I have always thought that she only accepts my situation somewhat reluctantly.

The last time the subject of breasts and choice of bras came up she said that I knew more about bras than she did and that she was getting tired of hearing about it. I can kind of see her point - she doesn’t want to think of her man in a bra. I deference to her discomfort with the notion, I no longer raise the subject, and she never mentions it either. I still wear a bra for comfort and support (and modesty) but try not to have her see me in it when undressing.

From a woman’s point of view it must be hard to come to terms with, and I think most women would be secretly concerned that there is some sort of transitioning implicit in the breast growth, even though this is absolutely not the case with me.

Maybe if our Significant Other seems oblivious of our breast growth it is because they don’t want to acknowledge it?
I think in many cases, once a wife is satisfied that it is breast growth beyond your control, and that you have otherwise not become interested in some sort of transition, that they will be more accommodating. I am also sure some wives have a hard time bringing the conversation up as to not wanting to risk offense, or to unsure if there is more to the story than just feeling the need to wear a bra. 

The outlook of wives will vary tremendously, as does the spectrum of guys accepting that they need a bra. 

Offline Dudewithboobs

  • Silver Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 161
Agreed and the secret concern that her man is transitioning is what concerns me. Women tend to be more suspicious than comforting. And her husband randomly growing feminine breasts is one I worry about. Man boobs cause of dad bod syndrome lol is one thing but the fullness is now definitely showing not man boobs. 

I went for a run yesterday as I always do for lunch and there is now definitive jiggle. Walking to catch breath and going past a mirror I see my chest bouncing even though I don’t feel it and it’s just getting a bit distressing thinking that by summer if this keeps up I’ll be going from accepted to ashamed not cause of the growth but of what the growth will cause others to think and not say. 


 

SMFPacks CMS 1.0.3 © 2021