Author Topic: When all is said and done we owe each other solidarity  (Read 695 times)

DW20

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When it comes to acceptance we fellow "sufferers" all owe it to each other to be more open rather than getting uptight over ways of being more and more covert. I am not an exhibitionist but I have got past most of my own mental conflict.
At all stages of life we are a mixture of male and female hormones over which we have no control and this governs to a large extent our body shape and needs in clothing.
There is a wide and in most cases normal spectrum all the way from flat chested women who have no need of a bra to large breasted men who do. It is all NORMAL!
If I get "outed" I tell people it is Dr's suggestion (true in my case) or that I  need a bra or some such answer which I try to deliver without hesitation that might be construed as embarrassment.
As my breasts are most  firmly attached to me and I am most definitely male they are my "boys" not my "girls" (apologies to Boy with girls)

Once past our own mental prejudices - the most difficult step- we owe each other plain unembarrassed communication outside this forum as well as in the safety we all enjoy and appreciate on this forum.

Let's go for it!


Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=35637.0
« Last Edit: April 29, 2020, 12:03:33 PM by DW20 »

CoffeeAndCake

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Agreed. Once I got past my own mental blocks I was able to just not care anymore about having breasts. And actually began enjoying them and appreciating them. Still blocked by the prejudices of wife and crazy conservative family so I do not dare wear a bra around them and my work space is private but still around people from time to time so I wear sports or t shirt bras vs my usual underwire bras I enjoy to avoid the projection and display other bras give. But it is so true. 

I wish next time I go to a dr they notice the growth I have had since the last year and a half when I last seen them and they tell me wearing a bra will help. Even better if they write on a pad to give me for proof cause I can only imagine telling people my dr told me to wear a bra would make people think either I’m lying or the dr is a quack lol either or brakes for me I don’t care anymore. My boobs are showing quite a bit now days. When I run they stand out even more as the sweat clings to things and when I lay down or sit down my shirts push out quite a bit. I find myself crosssing my arms to give some support and in my tank tops around the house they look plump and full and when I lay down I lay on my side and now days the cleavage and fullness they show off is quite noticeable. All in all my wife is less conservative than her family but still wouldn’t approve of a bra especially with a daughter now and I admit I’d feel weird with a kid now being a dad in a bra but still hoping displaying my breasts around the house more makes my wife notice and mention wearing a bra her approval would be all I need the rest of the world could F off 

DW20

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I feel for you as I have had all the support I could wish for.... and more as I have shared more extensively elsewhere on this site in the last day or so and even got over the hurdle of posting a picture (suitably bra'd up).
My heart truly bleeds for those who are landed with this problem and are surrounded by folk  (relatives are often the worst) who are just so closed minded that they cannot see that this is part of  a NORMAL spectrum, barring a few medical conditions that need to be excluded.
People should support or keep their mouths shut. Imagine how we would get called out if we were giving grief to flat chested women!!
Have courage my friend, as it is often said on here bras are for breasts. If you have breasts you will be far more comfortable in a bra . End Of

DW20

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Coffee and cake:
Just occurred to me that neither my nor I would have told our any of 3 daughters they didn't need / couldn't wear a bra even with boobs smaller than mine. I would have been unfair to and uncomfortable for them. Even in a Conservative family surely at least one female relative is capable of understanding first hand that breasts need support whoever has the said appendages and their gender is irrelevant to that fact. 
I wish you well. It is a difficult personal mental journey without difficulties being stacked up by your nearest and dearest 

Offline Paa_Paw

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Well enough said. At 83 I still have enough vitality to spend a couple of weeks at a time camping in a tent and I still enjoy a day hike. When younger I rook wilderness hiking trips of up to 2 weeks.  For such activities I did wear a bra. Serious hiking and mountaineering simply produced too much bounce and discomfort without that support. Fortunately I did not really need one most of the rest of the time and besides, the bra produced projection that I did not like. If a person needs a bra it is really no one elses business. We do what we need to in order to get by.
Grandpa Dan

DW20

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'Twas hiking that finally convinced me, for me it did not take long to decide to go full-time. I am just most comfortable whilst wearing a bra. I was fore warned by my GP that styles that give real support also produce projection not at all what I wanted but I prefer this to  very obvious nipples and breast outline seen through T shirts. I occasionally have a "day off" but really I just don't real fully dressed nor comfortable without. I also understand the female joy at taking it off at the end of the day. 
Meanwhile - keep walking

Offline blad

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Those of us growing up with breasts before the internet age felt particularly alone as we began to experiment with bras. Our experiments were often first triggered by comments from others to the effect that we needed a bra. These comments were not usually meant to be constructive or helpful. We navigated obtaining and trying different bras without any help, all the while feeling like the only guy that wore a bra.

Today with forums such as this, we can more quickly come to terms with options and suggestions, knowing many others have the same issues. We can share our trials and tribulations and successes. 
If the bra fits, wear it.

CoffeeAndCake

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Thanks dw the concern to me is mine are growing at 33 to a point of being now noticeable began at 29 and now taking on the definitive female shape and feel breast wise and concern is last year they weren’t this full and now with summer and pools how to explain suddenly having boobs. Just feels it would be easier if I already had them when met vs developing them now and having to explain 

Offline MarcoB

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Those of us growing up with breasts before the internet age felt particularly alone as we began to experiment with bras. Our experiments were often first triggered by comments from others to the effect that we needed a bra. These comments were not usually meant to be constructive or helpful. We navigated obtaining and trying different bras without any help, all the while feeling like the only guy that wore a bra.

Today with forums such as this, we can more quickly come to terms with options and suggestions, knowing many others have the same issues. We can share our trials and tribulations and successes.
Yes, the internet is a huge advantage.  It was through the internet that I found male athletes making the recommendation to remedy my problem by using a sports bra.  (It seemed unthinkable until then.)  All my bras were also purchased online.  Before all of this, I probably would have had to have a supportive female family member who would shop for me and bring me things to try like 15-year-old Bailey K recently talked about.  I suppose it's also with the help of the internet that even lingerie stores are learning about gynecomastia and starting to help men.  I've learned a lot here.

Offline Johndoe1

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Those of us growing up with breasts before the internet age felt particularly alone as we began to experiment with bras. Our experiments were often first triggered by comments from others to the effect that we needed a bra. These comments were not usually meant to be constructive or helpful. We navigated obtaining and trying different bras without any help, all the while feeling like the only guy that wore a bra.

Today with forums such as this, we can more quickly come to terms with options and suggestions, knowing many others have the same issues. We can share our trials and tribulations and successes.
I couldn't have said it any better since this was me to a tee. Before the Internet, thought I was the only guy who had breasts. After I found the gyneomastia sites, I was amazed at how many of us there are!

Offline Johndoe1

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'Twas hiking that finally convinced me, for me it did not take long to decide to go full-time. I am just most comfortable whilst wearing a bra. I was fore warned by my GP that styles that give real support also produce projection not at all what I wanted but I prefer this to  very obvious nipples and breast outline seen through T shirts. I occasionally have a "day off" but really I just don't real fully dressed nor comfortable without. I also understand the female joy at taking it off at the end of the day.
Meanwhile - keep walking
A really supportive bra will create some projection because it has to cradle all around the breasts in an X, Y and Z axis. Remember, bras are really just cloth scaffolding and hold the breasts from moving and the underwire will shape a better support system around the base of the breast. Studies have shown that breasts move in a figure 8 as you move. So the cup must form around the tissue and that will cause the breast to stand out from the chest. The shape of the cup will determine how much projection you will have. Tear drop shaped cups will give the least amount of projection and a more natural shape. A seamed cup or pushup bra will give you more projection. A molded cup can either give you more projection or more rounded, depending on the mold shape of the cup.

DW20

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Personally I am no longer really bothered about projection - that is for the viewer to deal with. 
You seem to have made a bit of a study. 
My personal experience  is that stability of the breast without compression requires underwires and some degree of padding pushing in and up. Stability therefore, for me, is incompatible with being in anyway covert. Fortunately my breasts are on the small size which life easier.
I am happy in my own skin. I didn't want breasts but I have got to the point of treating them as friends rather than enemies 

Offline Johndoe1

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I have done a lot of research and my fitter took the time to explain what's happening and why. That's why 80% of women wear the wrong size bra. They don't understand how the bra works and how it can help their appearance or hurt not only their appearance but can be painful to wear. I have actually gotten less notice since I started wearing a bra than before because I understand how a bra can enhance my bust or play play it down. I wished I had learned all this years ago.


 

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