Author Topic: Thoughts?  (Read 5516 times)

Offline fatchance

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I have had rather large breasts since I was in middle school (7th or 8th grade).  They grew to the point where when I was in high school they filled out a 38C bra rather well.  I am significantly more overweight now than I was then and they have grown as a result and would most likely be a D or DD cup.

Anyway I was mocked many times growing up because of the breasts.  The time that really just killed me most was at scout camp where I was trying to become a life guard because I absolutely loved swimming.  Ever since that moment, I've been distinctly aware of my breasts. 

To say it messed me up is an understatement of large proportions sexually.  While I am and have always been straight, I did purchase a bra and wore it privately as a sexual fetish issue along with other cross dressing issues (never publicly) for a few years early in high school and the first couple of years of college.

Now, almost 20 years after that, I'm working through that gender confusion/fetish issues.

So there is some of the background.

Some more info, I am married, I have 3 children, oldest is a daughter (9).  My wife knows all of my issues but probably has less of an understanding than I do of them because I tend to internalize everything rather than talk about it.

I identified a few years ago that a bra could be helpful, particularly when working out and walking, however, because of my fetish issues that I was/am working on I did not get one (or more precisely, I did, but then I returned it the same day). 

I have several concerns with buying one now:
1.  It's likely to be confusing to my daughter, I would rather not confuse her at all. 
2.  I'm simply not comfortable with the idea of people knowing I am wearing a bra, regardless of why.
3.  It would put a small-medium amount of stress on my wife and it's difficult enough for me to talk about things.
4.  I'm still somewhat concerned that my mind hasn't fully grasped bra=piece of clothing not sexual.

So those are my concerns.

My reasons would be:
1.  These things are huge and should be reigned in and minimized if possible.
2.  The bouncing  around is more annoying than when last I considered this.
3.  I think I'm at least somewhat less likely to sexualize and revert to my teenage ways.
4.  Zits and soreness from no ventilation and rubbing under the breasts is annoying and I think a bra would help with that.

So should I drop consideration of using a bra to help with comfort and support or should I continue ignoring the situation and just hope that our diet and excersize drasticly reduce the size of the breasts?  Why or why not?

Follow up question to those saying I should pursue the bra option (if anyone does), what style of bra would minimize my concerns but provide some assistance?  I think a normal bra is out of the question since it would be impossible to hide and I would rather just suffer than expose it outright.  That leaves sports bras, and tshirts with built ins?  I was particularly interested in the tshirt with built in options since I don't think anyone would be able to tell if it was under another shirt, though I could be wrong.  Is that right and do those offer much support to stop the bouncing?

I'm terribly aware of myself when I go swimming with the kids, when I walk or run, and when I work out on at the gym.  Can't do much about swimming though it makes me not want to swim.  I'm hoping primarily to bounce less the other times if I even pursue it. 

Thoughts?

PS>  No, surgery is not a good option.  We are strapped enough without me paying through the nose for a surgical solution just because I am uncomfortable with myself still!

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=15691.0

Offline fatchance

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PPS>  I can't find a compression vest that would fit me (I'm really quite obese right now, though I'm on a diet and have great hopes).  (mens 5xlt or 6x)

Offline fatchance

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The curse of being fat with gyne is you feel doubly self-conscious about your appearance when you go to the gym to work out you get the distinct feeling that people find you repulsive.  The gym has the feel of being for people that aren't fat when it should be FOR the fat people. 

At least that's my experience.

Anyone willing to comment on the post here at all?  Anyone?

13genof

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Wearing or not wearing a bra is something you have to come to terms with on your own, there are plenty of people who will not understand, and plenty of people who will understand.  One thing America is great for is everyone having an opinion, right or wrong everyone has an opinion!  I can only say that if it makes you comfortable then just wear one, they are only a piece of clothing.  I won't go into my opinions, because I don't feel like dealing with the hassle because I choose not to, if it will help read my articles and replies, you can do that by going to my profile, I hope I have been of some help!  Good luck!!!!!!!   

Offline matty

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how fat are you? Post a picture.

Offline fatchance

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I said "really quite obese", I'm also quite tall (6'5").  BMI is probably in the 40's.

Offline Paa_Paw

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Most of the guys here are anti Bra. But then most of the guys here couldn't fill one in any case so it really is a moot point.

What it comes down to is a matter of physical comfort. If your breasts are large and heavy, a supportive garment of some kind is a reasonable need. If you cannot find a compression garment that is a fit, an athletic bra may be the answer. The athletic bra tends to support and flatten the breasts rather than accentuate them. Have a good talk with your wife and recruit her to help you in obtaining a good fit in a style that is relatively plain and hopefully easy to conceal under your outer clothing. She probably already knows more than you are giving her credit for.
Grandpa Dan

Offline jls187

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Try losing weight.  It will also lead to other health benefits.

Then try surgery.  See if insurance will cover it.  Mine covers.  I have surgery on Tuesday AM. 

Offline William

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Shouldn't this reply be in the Surgery board??????

Why post about surgery in the Acceptance Area???

William (one reason I do not post around here much)

Offline caps

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Most of the guys here are anti Bra. But then most of the guys here couldn't fill one in any case so it really is a moot point.

What it comes down to is a matter of physical comfort. If your breasts are large and heavy, a supportive garment of some kind is a reasonable need. If you cannot find a compression garment that is a fit, an athletic bra may be the answer. The athletic bra tends to support and flatten the breasts rather than accentuate them. Have a good talk with your wife and recruit her to help you in obtaining a good fit in a style that is relatively plain and hopefully easy to conceal under your outer clothing. She probably already knows more than you are giving her credit for.

I so much agree with this post!  Every part of it.


 

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