Author Topic: The question that you want to ask, but just can't.  (Read 1094 times)

Offline Aussie63

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I'll try and paint a picture. You want to buy a new car, you do your research, you make a decision, you take delivery, then you see the bloody things everywhere!

It is natural to notice things that have not only become interesting to you, but I'm also wondering if noticing those things is an unhealthy obsession or just a subconscious affirmation that you have made the right or wrong choices.

I am on the verge of wearing a bra commonly rather than occasionally, and I cannot help but to look at other men and making a judgement whether they should be wearing a bra as well (it is amazing how high the percentage is, at least in my own mind). Because I am observant in that regard, if another guy wore a bra publicly I reckon I would notice, unless they were being deliberately discreet, just like I would be.

What I also cannot help is to look at women to see if their bras show through their clothing, especially from behind. I cannot help noticing if they do. If they do, I cannot help thinking whether they made a deliberate choice to do so, or whether they were just being careless. Many of them seem to fall into the latter category.  

I got a haircut today and one of the ladies working there has a habit of wearing light colored tight tops. No, that's not why I go there, lol. Last time I was there, I cannot remember what top she was wearing but I vividly recall that her bra had a 4-row hook and eye band (you could see the individual bumps from the hooks). I thought that was an unusual bra for her because she is not that large; I estimate her size to be 34C. Today, she was wearing a tight fitting white long sleeve top and underneath it was obvious that she was wearing a 3-row hook and eye banded bra in a neutral color, with wide straps, and adjusters at the front. The cups were smooth and underwired. Tick, tick, tick, tick, meh.

The question I wanted to ask, but can't and won't, is "What bra is that?" Also, "Where did you get it?"

Have any of you thought along similar lines? Seeing a bra either accidentally or overtly displayed by a stranger that has sparked your interest? Something that you saw like I did, but would be totally inappropriate to investigate further? How would it be possible to ask such questions to a stranger without sounding like a pervert? How would it be possible to convince a stranger that your intentions are pure?

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=36145.0

Offline Moobzie

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I don't think most ladies give that a first thought, let alone a second, because for them wearing a bra is simply normal - and they know that everyone knows they're wearing one.  So...it's no big deal for them.

However, to mentally connect to another recent thread, most women would be consciously self-conscious about others knowing that they have to pluck, shave or bleach mustache hair.

Rough analogy, but it fits.


Offline blad

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As it is normal for women to be wearing a bra there is no motivation to hide that fact. Thus there is little concern if their bra straps show through or are even exposed, unless they have a personal fashion sense to hide them.

I have always been observant of girls bra outlines since I developed breasts at age 13 and began experimenting with bras with increasing frequency. I found it fascinating to compare all the different designs of the straps from the back in particular. The view of a particular bra would sometimes influence the choices I made and it often made me wonder how it would feel to wear the different styles. Such is growing up with the need to wear a bra but no opportunity to discuss it with others and to have to navigate all the choices on your own.

How I would have enjoyed discussing bras with them and how they felt wearing them. As I matured and wore a bra more daily I of course realized that most women view wearing a bra as a utility for support and do not give it much thought during the day after they have put one on, as it is for me now. I am more aware if I am braless than I am of wearing my bra. 

It would be nice if I did not feel the need to hide my bra straps and let them casually show as with most women do. It is also obvious that there are a lot more guys out their that would look/feel better in a bra themselves. 
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Johndoe1

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Like blad, I too have come to the point of why should I care if my bra straps show or you can see the outline of my bra band like women? I am much more aware of being braless than I ever am of wearing a bra. I have grown wary of having to be on guard to see how my bra is working with my tops before leaving the house so as not to have to explain why it looks like a bra under my top. First off, it's none of their business, and why are they looking in the first place? Well I know why they think it's their business and why they are looking. 

I have said it before, if my breasts could be treated as any woman's, I would gladly jump through the silly hoops women must jump through with their breasts for the same regard and protection. Because as it is now, my breasts are game for anyone who wishes to comment and touch inappropriately, unlike my breast laden sisters.

Offline Aussie63

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I have always been observant of girls bra outlines since I developed breasts at age 13 and began experimenting with bras with increasing frequency. I found it fascinating to compare all the different designs of the straps from the back in particular. The view of a particular bra would sometimes influence the choices I made and it often made me wonder how it would feel to wear the different styles. Such is growing up with the need to wear a bra but no opportunity to discuss it with others and to have to navigate all the choices on your own.

How I would have enjoyed discussing bras with them and how they felt wearing them.
Thank you, that makes sense.

I am at the stage where I am grappling with the thought of wearing a bra more often so with this particular issue I am probably thinking like your 13 year old self.

I need to keep reminding myself that my thought processes will change and the issue will resolve itself given time. I'm grateful for the reality check.

Offline taxmapper

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for what's it is worth, though i wear a sports bra and doesn't show much, I have reached a point where i am now actually strutting the bulges a bit. 
it seems weird, but also natural now that I have walked past and dealt with probably 400+ people directly face to face 9I am on local gov.) and they don't mention, look or state anything even when I am popping out.   

if your not noticing, few others will. 

Offline MarcoB

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Quote
Seeing a bra either accidentally or overtly displayed by a stranger that has sparked your interest? Something that you saw like I did, but would be totally inappropriate to investigate further? How would it be possible to ask such questions to a stranger without sounding like a pervert? How would it be possible to convince a stranger that your intentions are pure?

Stranger?  I can't imagine it would ever be appropriate.  I've wondered if women would even dare ask another woman what brand of great-looking bra she is wearing and where she got it.  I've wondered if I would even dare say to a man in a store something like, "It looks like you have the same problem I do," without even talking about the bra he puts on it.  I don't think I would.  Before COVID, there was a weekly meeting of a small group of friends I was going to, and one of the men had quite a gyne problem, and was clearly self-conscious about it and tried not to advertise it, but clearly would have been more comfortable in a bra.  I never said anything to him (even in private), although that was partly because of his size, and I don't know if he could find a suitable bra.  He wasn't very overweight for his height, just a very big, tall man.

I do wish society could just accept and not think anything of a bra being on a man who needs it.  I wish it weren't necessary to hide it.  Getting through last summer wasn't too bad for me, but my need has increased over the last year, and I'm wondering how I'll get through this coming summer.  I wish I could just wear a comfortable bra with just a thin tank top over it, without even stripes to try to hide it, and if straps show, or if the bra is visible through the shirt, or if the bra's outline shows in the sweat lines, nobody would give it a thought.  We're not there yet though.  More and more I can see why bra wearers—both men and women—gradually give it up and get to the attitude of "Screw it.  I'm just going to be comfortable."  I know my own family would definitely not accept it though.


Offline felix

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I know that women know everybody knows they are wearing bras and don't give it a thought that their straps might be visible, but we care.  I admit to sometimes feeling a bit jealous when I see a woman in a white tee shirt so snug I can count the hooks on her bra and tell what color it is.  And it would be nice to be able to comfortably talk bras with somebody who has more experience than I do.  My wife is OK with me wearing one, but the subject seems to make her uneasy for some reason.  When I hear women discussing the love/hate relationship with their breasts and the difficulty of finding a comfortable bra and us men just don't understand what they go through, it would be nice, just once, to be able to say uh, actually I do understand more than you know.

Offline Johndoe1

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I have several female friends who know that I wear a bra for support and they have been very compassionate and understanding but only one I can really talk bras and breasts with. She understands I know more about breasts and bras than most women and she finds that interesting.

Offline Dale Warnio

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So true.   We have breasts like women. Need to, and, wear bras like women. But we struggle to have the same attitudes and behaviors towards our breasts and bras as women do.  

Offline curiousk

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I know that women know everybody knows they are wearing bras and don't give it a thought that their straps might be visible, but we care.  I admit to sometimes feeling a bit jealous when I see a woman in a white tee shirt so snug I can count the hooks on her bra and tell what color it is.  And it would be nice to be able to comfortably talk bras with somebody who has more experience than I do.  My wife is OK with me wearing one, but the subject seems to make her uneasy for some reason.  When I hear women discussing the love/hate relationship with their breasts and the difficulty of finding a comfortable bra and us men just don't understand what they go through, it would be nice, just once, to be able to say uh, actually I do understand more than you know.
I totally understand that.  I see women all the time with visible bra straps and it's fine because women are expected to wear bras.  Seeing the straps and outlines are not unusual.  My wife and I don't talk about bras either.  Luckily, I have a couple of female co workers who know that I wear a bra and will talk to me about them.

Offline Johndoe1

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From what I have found, a woman exposing a bra strap can be intentional. I personally think it looks unkept but many younger women like the look.

Offline aboywithgirls

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To be perfectly honest, I know that mine have shown in public. If you wear a bra with a tank top or a sleeveless blouse, it will happen. It's very obvious for anyone who is pay attention that I have large breasts and I am wearing a bra.

Back to the OP,  I have been asked recently about my bras and what I prefer as far as style and maker.  
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.


 

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