Author Topic: Something Married men or men in relationships might want to watch for  (Read 7293 times)

Offline phm

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     Been awhile since I have posted.  Busy time of year.  Quick summary of my situation.  Like most, always took life by the horns and never let anything really bother me.  Have had gynecomastia since my teens.  Over the past several years, my breast have grown to a 46DD.  Finally go up the nerve to speak to my wife.  She was good with my problem and said it was no big deal to her.  Had all sorts of tests to be certain I had no serious problems which can cause breast to grow. Doctor recommended I wear support to eliminate neck, shoulder and back pain.  Oh Blah, blah, blah.  Y'all get the picture. 
     Before I go any further let me say that my Wife is the best person on the face of the earth and I lover her dearly.

     I got fitted and purchased the least feminine bras I could find.  Would put one on under a loose tee shirt. Never just wore a bra around the wife.  Always stayed covered. Wife seemed to be cool with the issue.  Life is good!  Then by chance, my Wife saw me in the bra while I was changing.  Freaked her out.  I had never really given the bra wearing much thought other than I had relief while wearing one.  On the other hand, I had never given much thought to what my wife's perception was of me.  Trust me men,  Me wearing a bra is not a part of her perception of me.  And I get it! All of her life society has told her that your husband is not supposed to wear bras.
     My intention in telling all of you about this is so hopefully you can avoid a similar situation.  If your partner is good with you wearing a bra I'm happy for ya.  If you are uncertain or thinking about wearing a bra, keep my story in the back of your mind.  Might help you out in the conversation.
     Hope all is well with all my friends.
     
     

     

         

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=25889.0

Offline Paa_Paw

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Each person has to do what feels right for himself. My opinion may not work for you. This is a ticklish subject to say the least. My opinion is that from the start the wife should be involved in the whole process of fitting etc. That way there will be no surprises or shocks later.
Your mileage may differ.
Grandpa Dan

hammer

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I have to agree with Dan! Debbie was with me all the way and so were my daughters so no surprises. There has never been a problem, Deb goes shopping for them with me, washes them for me and if they need a little modification to fit better she does that as well.

Good luck at getting this resolved my southern redneck buddy!

Bob

Offline TigerPaws

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All success phm,

A good women will go a long way towards helping you deal with having breasts. The women I am seeing are very accepting and supportive. It sounds like your wife knew but was not mentally prepared to see what she knows to be a perfectly normal man wearing what society says is a garment made exclusively for women.

If she is an understanding woman she should come around.
 

Offline phm

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Thanks for the replies.  All is well down on the farm.  My wife is a fantastic woman.  Been with her for thirty six years and I look forward to thirty six or more with her.  I am not bothered that she does not like me in a bra.  As I said, I get it.  I hope the post did not come across as a gripe or that I was upset.  Just wanted to advise our fellow members that this could be an issue to watch for.  And who are you calling a Redneck you Yankee Rascal?  Catching any fish?  I can always count on the Hammer for a laugh.  Hope everyone is having a great summer.

hammer

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Only went fishing one time, not even a bite, darn it anyway! The weather been as hot as a rain forest up here first good day was yesterday so I had to start getting honey do's done as I wasn't doing a darn thing during those dog days!

Dagnabit anyway!

You know, my hair turning white, my collar always been blue and my neck is red!

I'm, red, white and blue through and though

God Bless us all and America too!

Offline Bman41

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I have made it a point to make sure she hasn't seen me in a reg bra at all.  I have slept in a sports bra at night, but still I didn't take my shirt off until the lights were out.  She did see me in the morning but I put a shirt on right away.  It was just a hot summer and I just couldn't take it with no shirt, but a compression shirt like I normally wear was just too hot. 

Points well taken.  I don't know how my wife would react.  I think ok, probably make fun of me in jest.  But times I brought up the topic about something about a bra she would comment that she never thought she would have this conversation with me.  So I try to avoid it.  I typically wash hers and my bras, she just tosses in washer and dryer and I won't, so I wash and air dry.  She knows the right way but it is too time consuming for her.

We are close, been married 21 years now (we can drink finally!) and we are closer now than ever.  Even though we have a bump now and then, we are still close.


Offline TigerPaws

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Bman41,

It sounds like you have a good woman by your side which is great. I would imagine that after 21 years together you should be able to openly talk with each other. I have little doubt that after all these years together that she will be put off by your need to wear a bra, she knows.

Shyness about subjects which we are uncomfortable discussing is difficult to overcome, still give it a try some evening after a good dinner and s few glasses of wine you might be pleasantly surprised by her response.

While I have not been married for many, many years the ladies I have and that I am currently dating are all very supportive of my need to wear a bra otherwise I would not be seeing them. All of the ladies I have and am with accept and have some fun with my need to wear a bra just as they do.
 

Offline Bman41

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It took me forever to get the nerve to talk to her about it, but yes, she was ok with it.  She isn't thrilled and figures as soon as I lose weight they will go.  I hope so, but I have lost a little weight and the tape measure doesn't agree yet.  For now they measure larger.   I have lost band and bust dimensions but more band, so the ratio of band/bust is bigger.  Was like 44/52, now 40/49 (as of yesterday).  Yes, side fat is part of it, a 40c bra is okay fitting, but a 38c fits perfectly.  40 band I just can tighten enough now.  My right side which was smaller is seemingly grown some (maybe why the measurements are bigger now).  

And yes, she is the best.  I guess if a bra breaks up a marriage there must be other issues.....

hammer

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Congrats on the weight lost! Wish I could say I have had some more, but I am at a stand still point right now!

Debbie not only sees me in bras, she helps pick them out, adjust them and fit them and if they need modification done, she will also do that!

We will be married 25 years at the end of this month! My boys were from my first wife, but Debbie treats them as if they were her boys. She is not only my wife, she is my partner, best friend and my right hand or left hand! I could never come up with the words that could ever describe the love I have for her!


Bob

Offline TigerPaws

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Bman41,

Congrats on beginning a dialog with your lady, now that the "ice" has been broken she may be more receptive to your needs.

I have found that once the lady is engaged in this matter they tend to take a bit more control as they "know better" what you need.

So hang on and enjoy the ride because it can be a lot of fun.

Offline Bman41

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It took more nerve to talk to her about it.  She is funny on some things like that, but she already knew it was an issue to me, but didn't realize it actually bothered me. 

We don't really talk much about it, but I guess I don't need to that often if she is ok with me.  She has realized I have studied more on bra sizing than she ever knew.  But she still has a case of BSD.... Bra Size Denial when it comes to her size.  I am going to try to get her fitted here as soon as I can afford to buy her a few GOOD bras (Soma or Wacol or something like that).  I have 1 Soma bra and it is by FAR the best made I have.  It is more engineered to be good, not just thrown together like most Walmart sold bras.

Offline TigerPaws

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It took more nerve to talk to her about it.  She is funny on some things like that, but she already knew it was an issue to me, but didn't realize it actually bothered me. 

We don't really talk much about it, but I guess I don't need to that often if she is ok with me.  She has realized I have studied more on bra sizing than she ever knew.  But she still has a case of BSD.... Bra Size Denial when it comes to her size.  I am going to try to get her fitted here as soon as I can afford to buy her a few GOOD bras (Soma or Wacol or something like that).  I have 1 Soma bra and it is by FAR the best made I have.  It is more engineered to be good, not just thrown together like most Walmart sold bras.

Very interesting I have never heard of "Bra Size Denial", all of the ladies I have ever been with have been very fashion oriented. Lately all three ladies I am now seeing are using an Italian bra designer manufacturer lingerienewstyle.com as they are some of the most fashionable and from what I understand most comfortable made.

As I understand it there is one on order for me, so we will see. Hells-Bells if she likes to me wear something which to her is fun and sexy who am I to complain.

Offline Bman41

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I wouldn't complain if she got me something "special", but I don't know if I could get that used to it! 

Like she said about lingerie, doesn't do much good, ends up on the floor anyway!

Offline TigerPaws

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I wouldn't complain if she got me something "special", but I don't know if I could get that used to it! 

Like she said about lingerie, doesn't do much good, ends up on the floor anyway!

Practical approach but not as much fun. The ending is not the ultimate goal, it is the journey. It is like reading the last few pages of a mystery before you read the book, sure you know who did it, but where is the enjoyment, anticipation and wonder of the journey to the end?   


 

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