Author Topic: Looking for advice with family  (Read 663 times)

Offline JohannK

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As those of you who are regulars here will know by now, I've been debating whether or not to start wearing bras.  Now I don't have meaningful jiggling (just a bit of bouncing if I walk too fast, run or jump), but I do have a problem with sensitive nipples (especially in the winter, but not only then), as well as to a lesser degree sensitivity over the rest of my breasts.  And considering that I seem to be a C, or possibly even larger (hopefully not though), I feel that I should at least try wearing bras.  Maybe that will provide meaningful relief.

Anyway, the problem lies with family members.  As I mentioned earlier, I still live with my parents, as does my brother, and we're all on the conservative side.  My brother is on a whole different scale though (does the word malakos tell you what I mean?), and I definitely don't want to ruin things.  So can anybody here give me some advice on how to handle this?  I was thinking of first handling the matter of my mother, as she is obviously the most likely to understand.  Should I first speak to her?  Or should I get a bra that fits, and then use that to support my case?  And if I speak to her first, how can I go about doing it?

For those who don't know, I'm borderline 34C or 36B on two measurements (sometimes 77/93, sometimes 78/94), and according to ABraThatFits I should start with 32DD (which seems crazy, how will I manage to fit into a 32 band?).  I'm slowly losing weight, so I expect to go down to maybe 75cm underbust, but I doubt that I'm going to go below that.  Definitely shallow.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=35476.0

Offline Emcginty

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Go try on some sports bras.  Like Nike or Under Armor.  If anyone see them you can say it's the new fitness device that is helping you loose weight by monitoring your body activity.

Offline JohannK

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I'm afraid that one won't work for me.  I'm too cheapskate to buy such gadgets, so I track my fitness by standing on a scale.  Thanks for the advice though.





Not having worked in a year doesn't help with gadgets either.  But the DR said I can start looking for a job again (not physical yet though), so hopefully I'll be able to generate my own income soon.

Offline MarcoB

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Bras can get pretty expensive (as you know).  However, if you're really that hard up for cash, you might be able to find some cheap bralettes from China that would be better than nothing, and they'll hide really well too (assuming you get skin-colored ones), so your family may not even need to know for a long time, especially if you do your own laundry and have places to keep them that nobody goes sticking their nose into.  If/when the subject comes up, just be ready to tell of the problems you've had that it solves.  You might need to rehearse how to say it so as to get sympathy for the problems rather than letting the hearer think it's for some kind of fetish.  And yes, I'm sure your mom would be a good place to start, if you want to be the one to bring it up.  I was going to link to some I bought on eBay for $2.42US, but I see the particular vendor is not selling them anymore.  They're not quite as comfortable as some nearly identical-looking ones I got from Jockey for ten times the price, but I'd use them anyway if that's all I could afford.  I cannot tell the difference between the two brands when I'm riding bike.  Bralettes will work fine for many smallish-breasted people, possibly up to your size, just not for the bigger ones on this forum.

Offline blad

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I would suggest trying a bra for at least a short period of time first to see if that is what works for your needs, before trying to come out more about it.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline JohannK

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MarcoB:  I was thinking somewhere in the R200-R300 range, so a bit under 10x what you said there.  Since that's what the less expensive ones seem to go for, and at that price I can get two in a set if they fit right.  But then I can only buy once every few months, if things work out.  Right now I have some unexpected expenses (again).  Strange how it always happens when I'm thinking of buying a first bra (or set).  But, I've wanted the wheels I found since I bought my current project, and I'll have to buy fresh tyres anyway, so I'd rather refurb now instead of regretting it later.  Twenty year old wheels with a lazy backyard respray won't look good on a show car.

blad:  Makes sense.

Offline paulpark21

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To me, it would seem that a one on  one conversation with your mother, showing her what seems to you to be obvious (your chest/breasts) and telling her your story and asking her advice.  If you are not trans or gay, you might want to start with that statement.  Mothers usually seem to understand their children's problems.  How to bring up the subject, I really can't help there.  I can understand it can be difficult to bring up a subject such as this with a family member.


 

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