Author Topic: Acceptance issues  (Read 4982 times)

Offline jdavis

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Hi everyone - great to have found  this forum.

Started developing breasts when reaching puberty - the doctors said I had an estrogen "imbalance" which would automatically correct itself as I got older  - it never did. My breasts progressively developed until the age of 19 years I had reached the equivalent of 38D according to online bra size calculators. I am tall and slender, so to conceal my then firm breasts, and quite thick long nipples I have always worn dark very baggy clothing when out and about, even in the Summer months which was very uncomfortable.

At home I immediately changed into something more comfortable such as a tee shirt. Although my breasts caused a of of anguish at school due to bullying, I have since grown to embrace and now really enjoy the look and feel of having them. I would never have surgery even though it has been offered by doctors.

Now I am 29 years old my breasts have started to become increasingly less firm and now sagging quite noticeably. They also bounce and jiggle around much more than they used to which feels uncomfortable, and is more obvious to others with them moving around so much under my shirt, especially when walking down stairs or walking fast. At the same time I am getting weary of wearing the same dark baggy tops all year round year after year to conceal them. I once tried a sports bra but did not like the way it squashed my breasts and especially nipples, and afraid it would make them even more saggy.

I have considered finally giving in and wearing a regular bra for the first ever time with more normal clothing but have always felt it to be a female garment only and also afraid of really getting noticed when out due to my breasts sticking straight out in a bra which would look really obvious on my slender build unless I keep wearing the baggy shirts. Concerned about my nipples getting squashed as well.

 I really enjoy my breasts lot but dont want to be seen as abnormal or un-masculine in any way.  I should mention that I have looked at bras online and in shops a lot over the years, and really like the look of even pretty ones, lace etc, but afraid to wear one for what it implies about myself and looking obvious.

Has anyone any advice about getting over these issues?
Thanks.

Linkback: https://www.gynecomastia.org/forum/index.php?topic=32175.0

hammer

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I've also had gynecomatia all my life but at 58 it didn't have a man when I was younger! I had large breast even while in the service but I was never given to much crap in school or in the Navy about then as I could put a hurting on anyone that did, lol.

We here on the forum always say a bra is for supporting breast nothing more, nothing less and it doesn't matter if the breast are on a man or woman!

The best thing I ever did for myself is to go have a formal fitting. for years my wife just help with my bras and we thought I was a 48 DD! after my formal fitting we found out that I was a 46H and I was much more comfortable wearing my bras!

Truth be told, people are to busy with their own issues to even notice that you might be wearing a bra or even need one in the first place!

Welcome to the forum

Bob

Offline jdavis

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I've also had gynecomatia all my life but at 58 it didn't have a man when I was younger! I had large breast even while in the service but I was never given to much crap in school or in the Navy about then as I could put a hurting on anyone that did, lol.

We here on the forum always say a bra is for supporting breast nothing more, nothing less and it doesn't matter if the breast are on a man or woman!

The best thing I ever did for myself is to go have a formal fitting. for years my wife just help with my bras and we thought I was a 48 DD! after my formal fitting we found out that I was a 46H and I was much more comfortable wearing my bras!

Truth be told, people are to busy with their own issues to even notice that you might be wearing a bra or even need one in the first place!

Welcome to the forum

Bob

Thanks for the encouragement Bob.

I know my issue is purely psychological but a difficult one for me after 10 years of resisting a bra and concealing my breasts.

I have considered just wearing one around the house first to see how I feel and take it from there. I have measured myself and know I am a 38D so I could get one online - I guess that is a fairly standard sort of size.

No idea what I would get though though - I mean type, not style -but to feel comfortable and not squash my nipples which are long even by female standards.



« Last Edit: November 02, 2016, 08:59:43 AM by jdavis »

hammer

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I wear a tee shirt of high quality one size to big and a button down shirt or a leather vest and that will cover the fact that you do have breast, you don't even need to close the shirt or vest! I wear the shirt or vest to also cover a shoulder holster too, so it does double duty!

Offline jdavis

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I wear a tee shirt of high quality one size to big and a button down shirt or a leather vest and that will cover the fact that you do have breast, you don't even need to close the shirt or vest! I wear the shirt or vest to also cover a shoulder holster too, so it does double duty!

I have been wearing baggy tops etc for years and have always worked well even though uncomfortable in warm weather. My concern now is the fact that my breasts are sagging and moving around much more than they used to so I need to keep them in place. Also want to overcome my concern about people noticing if I wear a bra and tighter clothing. 

hammer

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Go to "my story after all these years" in stories and you can see the first pictures that I posted and then go to "I'm bigger then I thought" it's in acceptance on the 2nd page and you'll see the picture I posted after getting the new bra after the professional fitting! if I can go around and I've never gotten any comments or people staring, and I'm a people watcher myself, then I think anyone can!

Offline jdavis

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Go to "my story after all these years" in stories and you can see the first pictures that I posted and then go to "I'm bigger then I thought" it's in acceptance on the 2nd page and you'll see the picture I posted after getting the new bra after the professional fitting! if I can go around and I've never gotten any comments or people staring, and I'm a people watcher myself, then I think anyone can!

What a story and thanks for sharing. You make my issues look trivial. 

I guess the major factor is that I am very thin so my breasts really protrude. I think what I will do is buy a bra online and see how I feel wearing it about the house and see what it looks like under my shirts.

Big question is what to buy that does the job without looking too obvious and doesnt squash my nipples too much.

Thanks again.

Offline aboywithgirls

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I wear a 36G now in most of my bras. 
Having breasts or having to wear a bra every day is not the worst thing in the world. Women deal with their own breasts and bra issues every day! We just happen to be guys who also have the same needs.
Bras aren't for women, they're for breasts.

Offline Blousebunnys

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We probably all have faced some of the issues you bring up. My breasts started development at 15 years of age . I have Klienfelters Syndrome which means I have an extra chromosome . XXY instead of XY.
My breasts grew until now they are a full D cup in most bras. I started wearing a bra at 21 years old . I read a post on the forum that said they looked like 2 puppies chasing each other under a blanket. That was a pretty good analogy .
I just turned 70 this year. Over the years I have tried many styles of bras with containment, comfort and concealment as my primary goals .
I find that tshirt bras for everyday wear and a sports bra that is sized like a regular bra works the best, (example, 46D as opposed to the typical squeeze them in type).
Some of the other suggestions such as an oversized shirt work well too.
There are many members of the forum who will have good advice, but more importantly they will be a source of support.
Remember that you are not alone.

Offline igotum

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Hi everyone - great to have found  this forum.

Started developing breasts when reaching puberty - the doctors said I had an estrogen "imbalance" which would automatically correct itself as I got older  - it never did. My breasts progressively developed until the age of 19 years I had reached the equivalent of 38D according to online bra size calculators. I am tall and slender, so to conceal my then firm breasts, and quite thick long nipples I have always worn dark very baggy clothing when out and about, even in the Summer months which was very uncomfortable.

At home I immediately changed into something more comfortable such as a tee shirt. Although my breasts caused a of of anguish at school due to bullying, I have since grown to embrace and now really enjoy the look and feel of having them. I would never have surgery even though it has been offered by doctors.

Now I am 29 years old my breasts have started to become increasingly less firm and now sagging quite noticeably. They also bounce and jiggle around much more than they used to which feels uncomfortable, and is more obvious to others with them moving around so much under my shirt, especially when walking down stairs or walking fast. At the same time I am getting weary of wearing the same dark baggy tops all year round year after year to conceal them. I once tried a sports bra but did not like the way it squashed my breasts and especially nipples, and afraid it would make them even more saggy.

I have considered finally giving in and wearing a regular bra for the first ever time with more normal clothing but have always felt it to be a female garment only and also afraid of really getting noticed when out due to my breasts sticking straight out in a bra which would look really obvious on my slender build unless I keep wearing the baggy shirts. Concerned about my nipples getting squashed as well.

 I really enjoy my breasts lot but dont want to be seen as abnormal or un-masculine in any way.  I should mention that I have looked at bras online and in shops a lot over the years, and really like the look of even pretty ones, lace etc, but afraid to wear one for what it implies about myself and looking obvious.

Has anyone any advice about getting over these issues?
Thanks.

Offline Paa_Paw

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Obviously you are not alone.  A shop that deals in foundation garments might have something for you that most stores would not have. you also might arrange for a private fitting.  The first hurdle is getting past the idea that a bra is a feminine garment.  It is a support garment for people with breasts.  A professional fitting is helpful for several reasons, not the least of which is that the male chest is differently shaped than that of a woman. Our breasts are generally wider apart for example. There are bras specifically designed to minimize the breasts, while most bras actually highlight them. 

Grandpa Dan

Offline jdavis

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Thanks for all your replies. It is great to know there is so much support here from people with the similar experiences.

From puberty to 29 years I have struggled alone with my breasts. After I left school I came to embrace and now really enjoy them as part of me, but with the constant daily concern of covering them up which meant uncomfortable clothing.

I definitely need to support them now before they get more saggy and bouncy so I think the first step is to buy a bra online - 38D is a fairly standard size - and get used to wearing it around the house, how it looks and feels etc.  I am not ready for a fitting by someone yet.
My main consideration are my long nipples, but I figure if I get a soft cup bra they should feel comfortable enough.

Thanks again - I will support the community and keep you updated.


hammer

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If you buy online you may have to go through 10 or more bras before you find one that is even close to a good comfortable fit! when I finally went for a formal fitting after my wife, daughter's and doctor told me to, my wife said that I  was treated with the  utmost respect! My wife went with and said that I was treated better then our daughter was when she was at her fitting at the Mall of America! We live in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. I went to a  Boutique in St. Paul called Allure. I have called back and ordered new bras since my fitting however I do plan to go back to have another one do to lose of weight.

You have nothing to worry about going for a fitting, however, you have you have everything to gain because you will save time, money, and as Paa_Paw said, you will get a good fitting bra!


Bob

Offline aboywithgirls

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Things have changed alot it the past 20 years. Most of the better stores the sell bras are aware that more and more men are needing a good bra to get through the day. They are usually prepared for us to come in and get fitted. I think that it's a good idea to call in advance and set up a time that's best for both the store and yourself. They will probably tell you that it's more common than you think. Whether it's due to medications, hormones in our food, or genetic disposition, or past surgeries, more and more men are growing breasts. 
On this thread, we've accepted having breasts. I'm not willing to go through a radical double mastectomy when I can wear a bra which immediately takes care of the issues that comes with having breasts. 
Having breasts and wearing a bra is not the worst thing in the world. Women deal with their own breasts and bra issues every day. We just happen to be men who have the same issues as our female counterparts. 

Offline igotum

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jdavis,
Has anyone any advice about getting over these issues?
Thanks.

You didn't mention wife or GF so I assume you are not with a woman.I am 70 and my wife gave me my first 2 bras. I was really self conscious at first thinking what others might think. The way I got over that I wore a bra all my awake time and still do. Don't shy away from hugs. Some will rub back and forth across bra strap, don't worry some will ask. Be straightforward and say it's a bra, I have grown breasts and need support.
I have been wearing a bra about 6  years now and never had a negative comment. If friends or family are curious it will help you to talk about your condition. I have had 2 male friends and a sister want to see. She said "Oh my goodness". Then gave me a big hug. The 2 guys said dammit man! I wear snug tee shirts around the house. If some one comes to visit I don't change. When my wife and I go "out" wifey picks my shirt. I am 42 D and only an overcoat will totally hide my breasts. My wife says she dresses me so they don't jump out at you!
I hope I may have helped you a little
















 

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